By: (roboclaw)

Mollo Moonie

Ki-Rah

May 5, 2006

In a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

CHAPTER 1 BEFORE THE SLAVES

The whole life I live is what I can't do, what I want to do, what I fear. There's a girl by me, a master I look up to. I want to live without boundaries, kill every villain, and do it with precision and supremacy. Right now; I lie in bed, I dream, I brood, I gaze upon her soft round cheeks, the curve of her breasts. They are mine. My fuel, the hero's guardian angel. She's my angel that has been set off, been pulled from me, from force knows what. What I strive for? I, Anakin Skywalker, strive for everything…and nobody better get in my way. If they do, my robo-claw will turn into a meat processor and grind they're skull then brain, and with the bits that fly out I will make a stew for my wife. That is what I, Anakin Skywalker will do after doing a dance with them.

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His voice trembled in fear as he looked into her blood shot eyes.

"I told you to make the bed!"

Anakin shrunk back into the corner and peed on his robe.

"I'm sorry, Padme!" Anakin replied, staring down at the yellow liquid slowly seeping into the brown wool.

He was naked. From the night before.

She had already curled her hair, applied her purple makeup, and had robed.

"We need to talk about your new visitors last night." She stared at his moist form shamefully.

"I liked them…" Anakin looked to the door where they'd left mere hours earlier with longing. He wanted to rip apart their European-trash clothes and stick his lightsaber in places where it's never been…(except for that one time).

She immediately noticed the distance in his expression. Wildly snapping her fingers she tried to gain his turquoise eyes once again.

"You've been so distant lately. Ever since that one night... that you hired… your first MAN SLAVE!" Anakin stared back at her, his lip quivering, and his eyes growing in realization. She was right, but it was so hard to face the fact when she stared back at him with such a bitter expression. He knew it was wrong—but it felt so right when they were dancing in front of him, the same way he knew it was wrong to wish Padme would do that for him, but she wouldn't…she'd just sit…and laugh.

"I've always loved you! Enough of this! We need to face the situation at hand! We need to face this bright and sunny day with our full confidence!" Anakin said, suddenly taking on a more optimistic view.

"This is the situation at hand, Anakin. Come back to earth. Come back to me."

"I am with you! I am! Honey, you just can't see that. There is two of me," He held up two fingers, "—the dance machine, and the Padme love machine. You just… don't understand. You can never understand. I'm much too complex."

Padme took a deep breath, "Now I understand you completely. You're just too afraid of commitment to me! You don't understand me! You never talk to me anymore, your always too busy being with your groovy dance sexual partners!"

"Oh… so is that what you think of me? You have no trust! Let's make sweet love. I can't stand all this complicated verbal abuse!"

"This is not the time! I have to take a trip to Alderaan, I'm on a diplomatic mission for the Chancellor. But not like you care. My ship leaves in three hours, and I have to report to Senate before then."

Anakin felt some resentment that he hadn't heard anything about this, and that he wasn't coming along, but then he began to realize she'd probably been telling him about that at dinner the night before as he checked out the waiter. Gawd, he thought to himself, he really needed to get in line!

"Can't I have something before then?"

"Um, Anakin!" Padme snapped her fingers in his face once more. "While I'm gone, take lots of your pills, think about yourself, and think about me, I'll send you holo-porn everyday. I promise."

"Can't you snap those fingers someplace else?" He snatched at her fist and moved it to his back hole. She immediately ripped her hand out of his, and stormed out of the room, taking matching traveling bags with her.

He sat down on the bed, bringing the spermy blankets closeto him, and reflected upon their conversation. She was so wily and quick to leave him, stranded, with no one to talk to.

Padme stood outside the closed door and sighed. She wiped her eyes, then started down the hall, buzzing her handmaidens to meet her at the elevator.

There was Obi-Wan. Walking down the street behind an obese Twi-lek, looking to find a snack machine. He was craving fresh-cheesy-buttered-Anakin-asshole, no, no, he must not let his mind wander… Keep his mind at task. The street was sunny, and aliens and humanoids seemed to walk hand in hand down the street, music and noise blasting from every crack in the under city iron structures. Times like these, Obi-Wan remembered why he was fighting for the republic.

He found a machine, and bought some cheesy chips and a fizzle pop.

And a whiz pop! And a fizzle-wiz pop!

He was going to take them back to Padme as a good bye gift. He was so excited to see her new maroon outfit! She'd told him so much about it, and it's matching silver head dress.

That's where he was heading, but he got distracted by a giant wild rancor charging down the street ripping up the permacrete and making straight toward him! "HOLY FORCE!" He yelled as he lunged toward the little store on the corner. He'd made it just in time to escape the beast's wrath, but in return for his luck Padme's gifts had been trampled, by the beastly claws. He ignited his lightsaber, ready to defend his post.

Oh, wait, he shook his head, getting the cheesy chip lodged in there out, "Oh, hey Anakin!" Anakin embraced him in a warm hug. "I thought you were a rancor for a second there! Took me back to war times, eh! Must have been the fat man's smell."

"Okay…" Anakin grinned, flexing his beastly claw.

"Have you seen Padme? I was going to give her some presents, but they're crushed."

"Oh, sorry." Anakin lifted up his cheesy boot, and let a little boy nearby lick it off. He knew that little boy would get to go home to his family and say that he licked cheese of Jedi Anakin Skywalker's boot, and that was an privilege not many had.

"Have you seen her?" Obi-Wan asked again.

Anakin growled, and the little boy skittered away, "Yeah, she's kind of mad at me right now. She's being such a bitch. She's all saying about how I don't support her and stuff, when I like… do and stuff and now she won't talk to me. She'll only send me porn, she like totally abandoned me by myself. Its like soo not cool…"

"Since when you two so tight?"

"Like a day ago, I don't know, I don't really pay attention to her." Anakin said, trying to cover up Padme and his secret love. "Anyways, like I was saying, she really needs to like support me and learn about my culture. The ways of the dance."

"The ways of the dance? What's that?" Obi-wan asked like a curious child.

"I'll show you!" Anakin ordered everyone out of the convenient store on "Jedi business."

He ripped his robes off and suddenly had a pair of stained skin-tight short-shorts on underneath, he jumped up onto the counter, with his Jedi powers and pierced Obi-Wan with his electric blue intense eyes. Obi-wan stared back up at him and let out a gasp. His eyes had a way of clenching around his own, and creating a warmth around his pelvic area all at the same time.

Anakin whacked it all around Obi-Wan like a naughty frog. He flailed his arms around in the air like a fototoad, then squatted down, thrusting his vibrating shorts to the front, to the side, to the music that was blasting through the sunny windows from a horny street urchin's boom box. Anakin let his lower body become one with Obi-wan's face and soon he had him dancing right along.

When the street urchin had precummed all over the window and become exhausted and changed it to a slow song, with a devil smirk of glee, Anakin and Obi-Wan collapsed onto each other's bellies. The urchin took his sunglasses off and peered into the window. Obi-wan looked up, but just as he had seen the figure it was gone, into the swarms of mooning onlookers.

"Anakin, we have to leave now!" He said urgently.

To be continued…