Hers was a painful, one sided love of respect and longing. Every day she would watch him walk ahead of her, as she danced and sang to Jaken to pass the time (and sometimes to make the little imp angry.)
Her lord moved gracefully, every movement as precise and exact as he meant it to be. His silver hair would trail behind him ever so slightly, fluttering delicately in the breeze. He radiated an aura of confidence and power; enough to make anything with half a brain shudder uneasily. He was, in short, nothing less than perfect.
And as such, these were the musings of a small girl, hopeless with longing and adoration. She would pluck flowers from the ground, those that were certainly the prettiest she had ever seen and present them to her Lord, a small way for her to attempt to communicate her respect for him.
She would sing and dance all the time, not even stopping when her voice grew hoarse and her feet bloodied, for her Lord was ever so sad looking all the time. It was her way of trying to make him smile, for once, rather than this endless stoic mask he presented.
She would ignore her hunger until her Lord deemed it the proper time to gather food, and even then Rin would not stop, no, she would continue moving to make flower chains, to compose songs, to do something other than sit still. That only made her hungrier. She had learned that near the beginning of their journey, when Rin had still been so very quiet. They had traveled for a bit over 2 days without food, and the girl was going dizzy from hunger and exhaustion. Her Lord had immediately noticed, and directed them to a clearing, where he had quickly gathered a large amount of food in such a short time. It was a small notice, perhaps, but maybe it was a sign that he really did care for her.
She would resist the urge to reach out and feel his shimmering hair, to braid it, to finally feel what was sure to be softer than any material she had ever felt. For that small movement might make him angry, and his wrath was nothing short of terrifying.
Of course, the girl had never actually been at the receiving end of her Lord's anger. It was always Jaken, who had somehow messed something up (Rin had never understood what, but it usually involved her) or some youkai or another who had dared to challenge him. But she had quietly observed her Lord's rage and cowered from behind him.
Everything he did only made Rin respect and adore her Lord more. When he would dispatch a threat before she had even noticed it was there, when he would find the perfect spot to set up camp. Rin didn't have any blankets (Jaken said they were just burdens,) but she always ended up tiring herself out and simply fell asleep wherever she had been. At those times, her Lord would quietly pick her up and move her to a more suitable area, that wouldn't leave her sore and groggy the next morning. Rin loved that, the fact that he actually cared about her wellbeing.
But perhaps his care was merely because she was his ward, the first test of Tensaiga's power. Perhaps he only bothered to keep her healthy so that he would have someone that had unquestionable loyalty (and if Rin had anything, it was that.) Perhaps she was only there to occupy Jaken, so her Lord would have more time to ponder whatever grand thought he might decide upon. Perhaps she really wasn't necessary to her Lord.
Whenever Rin felt like that, and the beginnings of tears would prick at her eyes and she was ready to break down sobbing, he would glance back at her. It wasn't compassionate, and certainly it wasn't reassuring words that Yes, she did matter, but it was enough. That was her Lord's silent command to continue following him, a command she wouldn't stop obeying until she died.
That was the pain of Rin's love for her Lord, that it would last forever and a day. That was how long she would stay with her Lord and even Jaken, and even when he inevitably decided she was too much of a burden, she would never forget him. As long as she had the faintest grip on this world, she would love him. That was her unspoken duty.
~888~888~888~
Alriiiiiight! This little plot bunny struck without warning in the middle of school. No algebra survived its murderous rampage. Anyways, I'm awful proud of the fact that I went the WHOOOOOOOLE story without saying Sesshomaru's name. YEAH!
Okay, this is all the way down here because I don't believe in putting these at the beginning. It messes up the story. Anyways, I DON'T OWN INUYASHA! That honor belongs to the amazing and talented Rumiko Takahashi, who I am not. /sob
~AmytheDancer
