Crazy
Okay. Crazy is one of my favorite songs. Here's a random sonfic featuring it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Eragon, Monty Python, the Fairly Odd Parents, or Crazy.
To say Murtagh was drunk would have been rather like saying rain is wet or this fic random. In short it was both obvious and an understatement. Murtagh could've have easily been the drunkest person at the annual Uru'baen blast. (Of course, one would have to take the saintly 63 5/8 Lady Alera Breston into account; she had drained one third of the castle's considerable wine cellar. Anyway, that's another story.)
It wasn't as though everyone else wasn't drunk. This is a beer blast we're talking about. Do you think nobles can't get into it too? Murtagh was just rather outstandingly drunk. This was, of course, understandable. This, of course, does not mean that we can not make fun of the hot-yet-crazy rider's current state of admirable intoxication. I'm telling you, he would've impressed dwarves. Murtagh was at the height of his drunkenness when the only sober being present decided to comment on it. This being was the coke-bottle red Thorn.
You are drunk, human, Thorn remarked.
I know, Murtagh replied rather gleefully.
Very drunk, the dragon continued.
Dragon, have you seen Lady Alera? the rather inebriated rider asked.
True, Thorn remarked.
And I just got a brilliant idea, the human continued.
Oh no, the dragon moaned.
Karaoke! Murtagh exclaimed. Thorn groaned.
This will not be pretty, the dragon muttered. Our drunken hero ignored him.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make," Murtagh proclaimed.
No one listened. Murtagh did the only thing he could do to get everybody's attention. He ripped off his shirt. Every female in the room, including Lady Alera, stopped drinking to gaze at the wondrous sight before them. The men eventually noticed and shot glares at Murtagh. And I came in and "showed" them my uzi. Just kidding.
"It's time for karaoke!"
Everyone interrupted in cheers. Thorn was in the back sobbing.
"I dedicate this song, Crazy, to King Galbatorix, who isn't here!" the seriously pissed rider yelled.
There were even more cheers and Lady Alera expressed her opinion of the empire's king's absence from Uru'baen's annual beer blast in very direct terms as such:
"Why couldn't that censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored be at this censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored party? Is our censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored beer not good enough for his censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored royal self?" All the inebriated nobles were too intoxicated to be shocked at this saintly old grandmother's intoxicated rant.
Murtagh, meanwhile began to sing.
"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space.
And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably"
All the nobles were cheering like rabid, drunken hyenas. Lady Alera had actually started table dancing to the song. It would have been more disturbing if everyone hadn't been so drunk.
"And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice
Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you're in control
Well..Come on everyone. You know the words. Go!" Everyone began to sing along with our favorite sexy rider.
"I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me"
"Alright, just the front!"
"My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them"
"Now the back!"
"Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come"
"Everybody!"
"And I can die when I'm done
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably"
Everyone finished the song. Then they sang it again. And again. And then in rounds. And then in operatic style. And then in every language known to man, elf, dwarf, and Urgal, and several known to monkeys. (Don't own that line from the "Fairly Odd Parents.") Then, they ran out of weird languages to sing it in. So they switched back to English.
"Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your…Oh hey, Galby!" Murtagh yelled.
That's right, dear readers. The king of Alagaesia had just walked in the room. Fully sober, I might add. He stood there. Minutes passed. Hours passed. It took so long that the authoress decided to go take a potty break. More hours passed. People chugged beer while keeping their eyes on the king. Lady Alera had passed out and been taken to the E.R to get her stomach pumped. Then she came back and started drinking again. And the authoress went on another potty break. Then she got hungry and got a snack. Then her mom told her to load the dishwasher and vacuum the bedrooms. The authoress obeyed. Then she finished. By now she was so bored, she fell asleep. She almost deleted the story. Thankfully, she woke up before such a catastrophe occurred. She decided Galby could get lines, and there was much rejoicing. (Say, "Yay," as unenthusiastically as possible.)
"Murtagh…I…what would your father…well he'd chuck a sword at you, and I'm really not in the mood so…what the heck? It's all true. Let's go."
Lady Alera had to be knocked out before she repeated her speech from above.
Then, Murtagh. Galbatorix; and Thorn, who was as drunk as his rider now, picked up where the Murtagh and the nobles left off and sang:
"…soul
You really think you're in control
Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me
My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably"
And the next morning, everyone was so drunk, the Varden came in and killed Galby. Murtagh was free. There was another beer blast. (They used dwarf rum this time.) The Varden wanted to sing Crazy. Murtagh, and the noble didn't. So, they all sang other songs. And there was much rejoicing (insert unenthusiastic, "Yay," here).
Please leave reviews as you leave. Thanks. I hope you enjoyed. Bye byes.