Expressing His Feelings
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A/N: I really didn't plan on writing this one, but oh well. I was reading another fanfiction and it just popped in my head. Oh yeah, and I suppose I should put a warning.
WARNING: THIS MATERIAL CONTAINS SUBTLE IMPLICATION OF SELF-CUTTING.
Yeah. It's the cliché Sasuke cutting himself thing. But don't worry; this ones a little different. I hope. Please enjoy.
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Sasuke never knew pain could make him so apathetic. Impassive, emotionless; whatever people wanted to call it. He wasn't so good at expressing his feelings unless he really wanted to. And most of those feelings were something negative. Like hatred, anger, and jealousy. It was hard to make him jealous, but it happens occasionally.
In his past, perhaps like the massacre of the Uchiha clan was so painful at the moment. Then, he healed, with a purpose he paid with his whole life. That very purpose was to kill the clan's murderer, his blood. His brother.
Sasuke felt isolated from the world and himself. All that pain caused him to stay away from people, and not really feel anything. People didn't know why he had held the cold exterior. They all thought he was just arrogant. But the thing was, he couldn't help it. It wasn't his fault. When he faced something sad from a movie or whatever, he didn't cry. He would, only if he had his life back. But the pain already made it so that he couldn't feel anything. Maybe it was a good thing.
Psychologically, Sasuke felt that he had grown stronger. His mind can take all kinds of pain because he felt as though he had seen the worst of things. But, physically, he hadn't.
The training put him through lots of pain, but it still wasn't enough. Something was missing about it. He needed something that really intended to hurt him. Somewhat like the time when he was in the Forest of Death. Orochimaru slashed at him with many Jutsu. But he didn't really mean to hurt him because Orochimaru had actually wanted the boy. Sasuke knew that wouldn't work much.
If he wanted to kill Itachi, then he'd have to endure the both physical and emotional hurt. Separately or both at the same time, it didn't matter. With his mind already trained to take any kind of pain, he needed the other. The ability to take physical pain that intended to hurt him.
But how would he do that? He had even flinched at the wounds that weren't intended to hurt. This was hard to answer. He couldn't let someone else do it. They might kill him. And that won't do because he still needed to kill Itachi before he dies. The only way to do so is…
He found the answer. There weren't any other ways. Because he knew exactly what he wanted. So he will cut himself.
After all, he was good at expressing his feelings when he wanted to.
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A/N: I hope you don't mind me saying this, but could you look at my other fanfictions?
Preferrably Death of Believing and A Fangirl's Cell.
Heh heh. Please review!