Okay, this is something completely different that what I usually do. For anyone who hasn't read the New 52, but it SUCKS! Damn near every book that's been released under the new 52 banner has, in one way or another, completely ruined the character the fucking book is about. After going through the first volume of Justice League, I couldn't help but notice that everyone in this book is an asshole. Except Flash and Cyborg, who are both bitches. So, I thought about what could have been done to make the book not suck. So I re-wrote a few scenes that I though were the worst act a character assassination I saw. I originally wanted t make these into comics, but that requires a lot of work, so I only put in enough details into the description of events so that I'll know what to draw when. The dialogue is where put all my effort and attention. So enough of my rambling on with the not sucky version of Justice League.


Batman and Green Lantern meet Superman

Green Lantern stops the jet construct, allowing Batman to land on the ground. "You flew us to Metropolis in a glowing Green jet?" Batman said.

Green Lantern floated next to him. "You can't fly, so how else were we going to get here? Talk in a deep voice?"

Batman and Green Lantern move towards an open tunnel with a Lexcorp warning sign nearby. "We should have gotten here with subtlety." Batman said. "You might as we paint a big green target around us."

Green Lantern looked over his shoulder to Batman, "Relax, we'll be gone before they know it. My ring led us right to the alien. Like I said, it's basically a GPS for the extraterrestrial. Superman's in here."

Batman leans down to examine his surroundings, "Lantern. It looks as if he was in so kind of fight. There's evidence of fires, much like the explosive back in Gotham."

"Alright, I'll look for Superman in there; you stay out here and see if you can find anything else." Lantern said as he moved closer to the tunnel entrance.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Don't worry Bats. I can handle this."

Just then a red and blue blur rockets out of the tunnel and knocks Lantern away while Batman ducks to avoid getting hit as well. Lantern flies through some debris, then crashes into a construction site.

Superman towers over Batman as he's trying to get to his feet. "I don't handle easy." He said. "So, what can you do?" He looks about ready to fight.

Batman stands up and dusts himself off. "I can talk."

Superman narrows his eyes at batman, then straightens up out of his fighting pose, crossing his arms imposingly. "Alright then, talk."

Batman takes out the mother box and shows it to Superman. "Have you ever seen this before?"

Superman takes the box from Batman and looks it over. "Yeah. I followed some strange creature into the sewers. The thing blew itself up when I got close to it."

"Did it, by any chance, scream "For Darkside", before it went up?"

"How'd you guess?'

"Lantern and I ran into one of its friends back in Gotham. Same thing happened to us as you."

Green Lantern creates bulldozer constructs to get the fallen rubble off him. "Anyone get the number of that train that hit me? It was wearing a cape."

Three kids nearby ran away from Green Lantern. "Oh, my god!" "It's one of them!" "Run!"

Lantern flies back to Batman and Superman, "Think you can just sucker punch me like that!?" Lantern ensnares Superman in a chain construct.

Superman just smirks, "Chains, really?" He bursts out of the chains, sending Batman and Lantern away.

Batman gets up again, "Well, that was annoying."

"He's with you, right." Superman said.

"Unfortunately."

"Sooo...Are we not fighting anymore?" Lantern asked, getting on his feet.

"I wouldn't call that a fight...But no. Seems we're all after the same people. Whoever they are."

Lantern gets in Superman's face, "Alright, but don't think you're stronger just because I underestimated you."

"Really? Think you feel ready for round two?"

"I'd rather you didn't." Batman said, "We still need him conscious."


Wonder Woman's concern

Colonel Steve Trevor is watching several TVs with angry protesters screaming about Wonder Woman. People are holding up signs with "You're going to Hell Pagan!" "Pagans got no soul" "Super powers got to go" written on them, slashes going through the Wonder Woman logo, and an effigy of Wonder Woman being skewered with swords. Trevor turns the screens off and walks out the room.

Wonder Woman is pacing in a nicely decorated room watching the same protests that Trevor was watching before. She switches between a few before stopping on one, sitting on the armrest of a chair and sighing. "I figured you'd be watching this, Diana." Wonder Woman looks up to see Trevor leaning against the door frame.

"How can I not. It's on every channel that don't feature those idiotic...What did you call them? Talk shows?"

"They just don't understand yet."

"I doubt they want to understand." She says, looking at the TV again, muting it.

"Well isn't that what you're here for? To make people understand."

"But how can I do that if everyone is afraid of me?"

"Can you really blame them?" Trevor sits down on the other arm rest next to her. "You can lift a truck over your head and smash solid concrete. And besides that, you do tend to cause a good deal of damage."

"I'm just trying to protect them. There is so much darkness and hatred in this world. That's why my mother sent me to the World of Man." Wonder Woman got up and walked over to a window. "Despite the Amazons being a warrior's culture, Themyscira is a paradise. We've been at peace for centuries, and mother believed that I could be an olive branch that could bring peace to the rest of the world as well. But...How can I inspire people to be better if they don't trust me?"

Trevor has nothing to say. Wonder Woman turns to leave the room but stops when a news report not about her comes on screen. "Diana? What's wrong?" She grabs the remote and unmutes the TV.

"...out Washington D.C., citizens have reported sightings of a strange winged creature flying through the city. No one is sure what this creature is. But many believe it is in some way connected to Wonder Woman."

Wonder Woman turns the TV off. "Hmm, a winged creature. It could be a harpy." Wonder Woman walks over to a cabinet and opens it, revealing her sword, shield, lasso, and more pieces of armor. She grabs her sword and lasso and attaches them to her belt.

"A harpy? Wait, Diana." Trevor gets in front of Wonder Woman before she can leave. "Diana, did you somehow forget in the last two minutes that practically everyone in D.C wants you run out of town? And now you want to go out and look for another fight?"

"Steve, a harpy is an extremely dangerous creature. Even if this city hates me I cannot, and will not stand by and allow people to be hurt."

"Diana I can't let you leave here."

Wonder Woman just crosses her arms and gives Trevor a challenging look, "Steve, let's be honest. Do you really think you can keep me here?" Trevor glares at her, but then just sighs. "That's what I thought."

Wonder Woman flies over D.C. searching for the monster the news reported. She lands in the middle of a crowded street and continues to walk down it. "How hard could it possibly be to find a flying monster? Even in a city this big."

"Cool." A little girl holding an ice cream cone walks up to Wonder Woman. "You're Wonder Woman!"

Wonder Woman kneels down to talk to the girl. "My name is Diana."

"My name's Raquel."

"Thank you for speaking to me, Raquel. You're not afraid of me?"

"Not really."

"What are you eating?"

Raquel's ice cream falls off its cone. "Oops, ice cream."

"Ice cream?" Wonder Woman picks up the ice cream scoop with her sword.

Haven't you ever had ice cream?"

"No."

"It's the greatest food in the world. If you ask me."

Wonder Woman stands up and points her sword, with the ice cream still on it, at a nearby vendor, "Mm. May I try some ice cream? And another for my friend."

"Yeah...Yeah, sure. Just don't y'know, take my arm off with that thing, okay?" The vendor said handing Wonder Woman two new ice cream cones.

Wonder Woman takes a bite, "Hm. Ice cream is wonderful." She turns to the vendor. "You should be very proud of this achievement!"

"Um...Thanks." The vendor said.

Wonder Woman kneels down to Raquel's level again. "Raquel, I have to ask you something very important. Have you seen anything strange like a monster with large wings?" A ping noise is heard, "Wait, what was..."

"Uh, Diana." Raquel points behind Wonder Woman. A parademon stands on top of a building.

"That's not a harpy." More pinging is heard and more parademons appear. Wonder Woman draws her sword. "Raquel, do me a favor."

"What?"

A mass of Parademons swarm wonder woman, "Run!"


Darkseid rising

A giant Boom Tube opens and Darkseid steps out. Green Lantern looks at him, "I'm guessing that's the bad guy."

"Good guess." Batman says.

The boom tube closes and Darkseid walks towards the League slowly. Folding his hands behind his back as he comes to a stop a few feet away from them. "So, you are this world's champions?"

The League look at each other, then Superman turns to Darkseid, "I guess you could say that. And you would be?"

"I am Darkseid. Lord and ruler of Apokolips." Darkseid bows respectfully to the League. "I must commend you on lasting this long against my Parademons. But I am afraid that you will have no choice but to stand down."

"And why would that be, Darkseid?"

Because no force in this universe can stand against me. I have set my sights on your world, and so, it shall be mine."

"I don't think so!" Green Lantern flies at Darkseid making a construct of a giant mace. The construct shatters as it comes in contact with Darkseid. He smirks at Lantern; seeming completely unharmed. "This is bad." Darkseid back hands Lantern away.

"Hal!" Flash runs over to Lantern while Superman rushes Darkseid.

"You shouldn't have done that!" Superman punches Darkseid. He stumbles back, but again seems relatively unaffected.

"You're holding back." Superman looks surprised as Darkseid punches him back, sending him flying. "I'm disappointed Kryptonian. I expected so much more from one of the House of El."

"Then perhaps an Amazon can give you a challenge!" Wonder Woman sucker punches Darkseid and lays into him with a series of combination attacks.

After getting his bearings, Darkseid catches one of Wonder Woman's kicks, "Pitiful wench!" He hammer throws Wonder Woman away and the other Leaguers all converge on Darkseid.

Flash helps Green Lantern up, "Hal, you okay?"

Shaking his head, "Not so much, Berry. First Superman's too much for my constructs, now this Darkseid creep? I thought this thing was the most powerful weapon in the universe." Lantern looks down at his ring.

"I don't know what to tell ya buddy. All I do know is that guy is planning on taking over the world. And I'm pretty sure we're the only ones who can stop him. And when I say "We", I don't mean just you." Green Lantern Looks over to where Cyborg, Aquaman, and even Batman try, and fail, to fight off Darkseid. "We need to work together on this one. So what do you say?" Flash holds out his hand and Green Lantern takes it.

Darkseid knocks Aquaman away and walks over to a downed Cyborg. He picks Cyborg up by the throat and looks him in the eyes. "Hmm, a human bonded with Apokoliptian technology. You are an interesting one. Let's see how you are put together."

"Let's not and say we did." Flash grabs Cyborg out of Darkseid's hand but can't hold him up and they both fall and slide to a stop. "Wow you're heavy."

"Most of me's made of metal. What'd you expect?"

"Imbeciles." Darkseid turns to reclaim Cyborg and punish Flash, but Green Lantern starts firing a Vulcan gun construct at Darkseid. When that does nothing but piss him off, Lantern creates shoulder mounted rocket launchers and fires everything at Darkseid. "Pitiful." Darkseid steps out of the smoke. And while he does seem hurt, it's not enough to stop him. "Even the Guardians are as nothing to me. What makes you think one of their puppets can defeat the might of Darkseid?"

"Well actually. I was just the distraction."

Wonder Woman's lasso then drops down around Darkseid's neck and she hoists him up in the air. Just as Darkseid's eyes begin glowing, "Hey Darkseid! Ever hear of piñata?" Superman flies forward and punches Darkseid out of the lasso and in to the air across the city.

The league comes together. "Looks like your plan worked Flash." Superman said.

"There was a plan here?" Batman asked.

"Enough of one to give us some breathing room and so we may formulate a real strategy." Wonder Woman said.

"I already told Lantern to distract Craig face after I got him off the cyborg guy." Flash started patting Cyborg's arm, "Then I went to find Sups and Wondy and told 'em my piñata idea."

"But it won't keep him down long. We have to split our focus." said Superman, "Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and I will go after Darkseid. Batman and Flash, you two work crowd control. Get as many civilians to safety as possible. Green Lantern, think you can keep those Parademons off our backs?"

"Don't worry. That I know I can do."

"And what about you Cyborg. Will help us?"

Hold on, now." Green Lantern says standing between Superman and Cyborg. "Darkseid said this kid was made with Apokoliptian technology. How do we know he won't turn on us?"

"It may not be the wisest plan to allow him to fight with us." Wonder Woman said.

Cyborg pats his robotic arm, "This stuff might be from Apokolips, but I'm not. I've never warmed a bench before and I'm not about to start now."

"Alright, then. You're with Lantern on taking out the Demons." Superman said.

"But know that if you do betray us I will personally make you regret it." Aquaman threatened Cyborg by putting his Trident under his chin.

"Okay good to know fish legs."

"Well if that's all settled...Let's go to work!" Superman says as the League splits up to take care of their assigned tasks.


All-star

After the Medal award ceremony by the president, the League comes together to talk about everything that's happened. "Y'know I never got any medals or awards or anything when I was in school. This is pretty cool." Flash holds up his medal basically showing it off.

Wonder Woman holds up her medal, "I don't even think this is real gold..."

"It also isn't necessary." Batman said, taking off the medal.

Flash zips right next to Batman, slinging his arm over his shoulder. "Oh come, Bats. Isn't it nice to get a little appreciation for saving the friggin' world?"

Batman shrugs Flash's arm off, "I only did what I needed to do for Gotham's safety."

"You did a bit more than just protect one city, Batman." Wonder Woman said, also taking off her medal.

"Gotham is my home. It will always come first."

"And what about the rest of the world?" Superman asks.

Batman pauses for a moment, "That's what you're here for."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence; but I'm starting to think that might not be the case anymore."

"Considering you bench press a building, I doubt there's really all that much you can't handle." Said Green Lantern.

"I couldn't handle Darkseid. Not by myself at least. But we did. Together. I've been thinking that it might be a good idea that we join forces in case something like this happens again."

"I'm not sure Superman." Says Lantern, "I'm not saying we didn't do good work together, but I have an entire space sector to patrol."

"And I must return to my kingdom." Aquaman said.

"I'm not saying this would be a full time thing. I still have Metropolis to look after, like Batman has Gotham; but if we can work together like we did the other day, the seven of us can do a lot of good."

The other Leaguers mull this over for a moment. Wonder woman is the first person to say anything, "You may be right Superman. This group of ours could be the best way to complete my mission of peace."

"You surfacers should be able to able to take care of yourselves." Aquaman said smugly, "But if you do need my help, than I guess the kingly thing to do would be offer aid."

"Well I'm on board." Flash said, then rushed towards Lantern, "And what about you Lantern? Come on, it'll be awesome."

Lantern just shrugs, "Sure, I guess I can help you guys out. What about you, Cyborg?"

Cyborg puts his hands up, "Hey, I'm still just in high school. I don't know how much help I can be."

Wonder Woman put a hand on his shoulder. "You couldn't be more wrong Cyborg. You were invaluable to our victory over Darkseid. I think I can speak for all of us when I say you are more than welcome to join us."

"Well, if you put it like that. I'm in."

Superman smiles at his new teammates, then looks at the last, "Batman?"

The Batman looks over the other Leaguers, "I suppose I might as well make it unanimous."

The President's aid comes up to them, "Hey, I think we got trouble. Your kinda trouble. We were hoping your team can help."

Superman looks to the others, "Well?" The other Leaguers smile or nod at him.

Flash steps forward. "Don't worry, you can count on us: The Super Seven!" Superman gives him and off look, "What? We need a name."


Well, did do a better job than DC? I know I couldn't have done worse.