Note: The following is a fictional parody. If you are offended easily, please leave and have a nice day
Edited/Co-Written by DragonBall787
Chapter 1 - The New Kid
In Shonen Jump Elementary School, it was midway through the school year. There was hype about a new kid for one class, Class C4. It was a quite rambunctious class, often getting into the craziest misadventures...these misadventures would change the life of Naruto Uzumaki forever.
"COME ON NARUTO!" Minato shouted as he tried pulling his child who was gripping onto a pole.
But he wasn't going budge, "NO! I DON'T TO GO HERE! MY OLD FRIENDS ARE BACK AT MY OLD SCHOOL!" He whined and tightened his grip.
"Grrr, I'm gonna need the butter for this one," Minato said as he let go of Naruto and walked towards his car.
Meanwhile another car pulled up and did a 360 degree spin, and 3 kids flew out. One had a straw hat, the other a blue top hat with goggles and blonde hair which made him more noticeable than the other two, and the last one had another straw hat, but his was much more taller than the others.
"OH NO I'M LATE! MR. COLGREEN IS GONNA KILL ME!" The short boy with the straw hat screamed as he rushed up the steps and tripped in front of Naruto.
He rubbed his head in pain while looking up at Naruto, "...Woah, you must be the new kid!" He stood up and pried Naruto off the pole without any effort.
Minato walked over and dropped the bucket of butter he was carrying out of shock and said in relief; "Phew, thanks kid my wife was going to kill me..."
The child nodded and spun enthusiastically, his eyes morphed to stars as he pointed towards the sky, "I AM MONKEY D. LUFFY! Local hooligan and future King of the Pirates!"
Minato and Naruto turned towards each other and blinked, clearly confused. Minato coughed, "...Ok then, there are many things wrong with that statement, do you know what a hooligan is?"
Luffy blinked, "Nope, but my friend Ichigo's dad calls me one all the time!"
He then laughed and gripped his backpack straps, "You're late, blondie, you better get to class or else Mr. Colgain is gonna yell at you!"
"Wait...I thought his name was Colgreen!" Minato said in sheer confusion
"Colglide?" Luffy asked, then turned and walked away from the two, whistling a tune.
Minato got on one knee to look his son in the eye, grabbing his shoulder as well to make sure he was paying attention.
"Listen, Naruto I know you will miss your old friends, but this is a chance to make even better ones- wait that came out wrong...this is a chance to make new ones,"
Naruto just frowned and nodded slowly, not really understanding what his father meant, "Okay..."
"Alright kiddo...now go and enjoy your first day of school, and whatever you do, STAY AWAY from the kid with the Straw Hat, he seems crazy..."
"Ok,I guess" Naruto said as he calmly backed away from Minato and went into the school.
Naruto strolled through the hallway and gasped. There were so many kids with so many abilities walking around the building. Each child showed a special skill or potential, some very powerful, and some very weak.
While observing the students, three safety patrols approached Naruto. One was wearing a snap back and a red jacket, another wearing a yellow sweater and tinted shades, and the last one wearing a purple Hawaiian shirt with gauze around his face.
Each had their names sewn in their belt, showing: 'AKAINU', 'KIZARU' and 'FUJITORA'
"What are you doing in this hallway, bub?!" Akainu demanded in a threatening tone. Kizaru and Fujitora nodded in agreement while pointing at Naruto.
"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked, genuinely confused.
But Akainu had no time whatsoever for games, "This is the fifth grade hallway and you are by no means a fifth grader, bub!" Kizaru and Fujitora once again nodded in agreement while pointing.
"He's right! We're gonna have to write you up!" Kizaru said as he pulled out a notepad, with Akainu and Fujitora following in suite, all three seemed to have been moving at the same speed.
They each ripped out the paper they were writing on and slapped it on Naruto's face, "Make sure we don't catch you here again, now SCRAM!" Akainu yelled, magma oozing from within his body, and the floor lightly started shaking.
Naruto's eyes widened and he ran off quickly. He didn't pay attention to his surroundings, and ended up slamming into another student. As Naruto flopped to the floor, he looked at the student. He had on an orange gi and his hair was defying gravity in all types of way, pointing in every single direction. He was a bit taller and looked experienced, easily an upperclassmen.
"Are you okay?" The student questioned, holding out a hand towards Naruto in a friendly gesture. Naruto took his hand, and the student hauled him up to his feet.
"Wow, thanks!...You are the first sane person I have encountered today!" Naruto said with a look of relief, "What's your name anyway?"
Goku suddenly took on a fighting pose, frightening Naruto, shouting, "My name is Son Goku, and I'm a Saiyan from Earth!"
'Oh no, not again...' Naruto thought with an annoyed sigh.
Goku sheepishly chuckled while scratching the back of his head, "Hehe, don't worry I won't hurt you if you don't want to spar, I'm not like Vegeta...watch out for him, he's the guy who makes unnecessary entrances-"
"BOW DOWN TO THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!"
Suddenly, the door flung open and two men came in, carrying a throne. Sitting on said throne was none other than Prince Vegeta.
Vegeta spotted Naruto standing next to Goku and immediately jumped out of his seat, "What do we have here?" He said with a smug grin, "Kakarot, hanging out with a low class weakling, how fitting!"
"Vegeta...stop making fun of the new kid! He just got here!" Goku said, defending Naruto.
"So? What are you gonna do about it, Kakarot?!" Vegeta scowled while walking up to Goku. Everyone could see the tension in the hall as the two boys glared at each other with hatred. Both power levels started to rise, and electricity started coming from the both of them.
Before one could lift a finger, the bell rung, signaling the beginning of school. Goku and Vegeta snapped out of the staring contest, and looked around to see everyone rushing to class.
"We'll finish this later, Kakarot!" Vegeta vowed, before climbing back onto his throne and took out his whip, "Start moving you animals!" He yelled as he started cracking his whip.
The men panted as they quickly carried Vegeta to his class. Goku then turned to Naruto with a bright smile and said, "I'm gonna go to class now, want a lift?" He placed two fingers on his forehead and waited for Naruto's answer.
"Yes please, I am looking for Class C4" Naruto explained.
Everyone gasped as they heard those words fall from Naruto's lips.
"THE Class C4!?" Goku said as he took a big gulp. The class was known for their random escapades and destroying property...He knew because he'd been there, only 4 years ago...
"Okay!" Goku's serious look went away as it appeared and he placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder, "Hang on!" Goku then concentrated on the energy of the teacher in Class C4.
Naruto, not catching the drift, stared at Goku, "Umm..what are you-"
Suddenly, Naruto appeared in front of his classroom. He blinked in shock and slowly turned his head towards Goku.
Goku simply chuckled and waved goodbye, "Until we meet again!" He then disappeared into thin air, leaving Naruto speechless.
The teacher, who was sporting a green turtleneck with brown slacks, loafers and glasses started at Naruto and coughed loudly, "You must be the new student, Mr. Naruto Uzumaki, correct?"
Naruto nodded and as he took a look at the class, his eyes grew in horror when he saw-
"HEY IT'S YOU!" Luffy shrieked as he jumped out of his desk towards Naruto. Suddenly, a kid with green hair quickly came out of nowhere holding two pairs of scissors in his hand and one on his mouth.
"NOT SO FAST LUFFY!" He shouted and swung at him, but he missed in an embarrassing fashion, crashing into the wall.
"Zoro, stop trying to fight me! I'm not in the mood right now," Luffy said with a groan.
He then looked back at the spot Naruto was previously standing to find out he was gone, "HEY! WHERE'D HE GO?!"
He looked around the room and saw Naruto about to take a seat, but Luffy's instincts kicked in and he leaped into the air, pushing Naruto out of the way and crashing into the floor.
"You idiot! That's Sasuke's seat, you can't sit there!" Luffy yelled as he smacked Naruto on the back of his head.
"You can't tell me what to do! Plus also, my Dad said not to talk to you!" Naruto scowled.
"I don't care what your stupid Dad said!" Luffy was getting ready to smack Naruto once more until he looked in his eyes. Naruto's gaze seemed to be fixated on someone else.
Luffy turned as a girl with pink hair walked in the room. He glanced at Naruto to see that his mouth was gaping open
The girl walked in slow motion and blinked twice with her green eyes.
"I think I'm in love..." Luffy and Naruto said in almost unison.
"WHAT?!" They screamed simultaneously, "YOU CAN'T BE IN LOVE WITH HER! I'M IN LOVE WITH HER!"
"Get off of me!" Naruto yelled he kicked Luffy away and walked up to the pink haired girl who just took a seat. She was currently talking to a short, pink-haired boy who seemed hyperactive.
"Yeah I was raised by a Dragon, pretty cool right?" The pink haired boy bragged while twirling his hair with one finger and whistling, "I would show you some pictures, but he can't fit in my camera..."
The girl just giggled at the boy's words, "That's, pretty nice...what's your name anyway?" She asked.
"NATSU DRAGNEEL!" He yelled and pulled out a lighter, flicking it on and off, "What's your name?" He asked while putting the lighter in his pocket.
"Sakura, Sakura Haruno...I'm new here as you can see-"
Natsu snapped his head back as a kid with black hair and his shirt off walked in, he had a snow cone in his hand and he wasn't eating it for some reason.
Natsu glared at the boy and screamed, "GRAY! DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT OUR FIGHT!" He rushed towards Gray and tackled him into the recycling bin, completely ditching Sakura.
Naruto took this opportunity to take the desk next to her, sweating nervously, 'This is my chance!' he thought excitedly.
Before he could say anything, Luffy came out of nowhere and landed on Sakura's desk, "Hello there!" He said with a smug grin as he glanced towards Naruto.
"Oh hi, I'm Sakura" She said with a chuckle, 'This kid seems weird, I mean look at that scar' She thought as she glanced at him.
Luffy grabbed her hand and kissed it, taking another glance at Naruto who's eye twitched, "I'm Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"
Naruto just shook his head and continued to watch.
Sakura's face was crimson red and she pulled her hand away from Luffy, "You need to slow down! I just met you like thirty seconds ago!" Sakura said with a growl.
"Come on baby, no need to be so mea-" Before Luffy could finish, Sakura punched him all the way to the other side of classroom, leaving him twitching on the wall.
She turned her attention back to Naruto, "Sorry about that, what's your name?"
Naruto gasped, "Me? Like me?" He pointed to himself with an unsure look on his face.
This made Sakura giggle and nod, "Yes, YOU!"
"Ahem, now look it may seem like I am talking too fast but I have been interrupted all day! I just wanted to say I am Naruto Uzumaki, and I like ramen and ninjas, I also drunk rotten milk once, but you don't need to know that. My Dad made us move because he is running for mayor here and now I have to make new friends and I just wanted to say I think you're pretty!" He finished in 10 seconds and started panting heavily.
Sakura blinked and laughed again, "Well you're interesting...I moved too because I have 'anger issues' apparently, I mean can you believe that?!" She laughed as Naruto turned to the twitching Luffy.
"Not at all, Shishishi..." Luffy sheepishly chuckled.
Suddenly the door swung open and everyone gasped, rushing into their seats in the blink of an eye. A boy with raven hair walked in and he stared down at everyone, he immediately caught Naruto in his desk and growled.
"Oh no!" Luffy whispered under his breath as the kid approached Naruto, he was sitting in his desk, "Dang it Naruto! I told you not to sit in Sasuke's desk!"
As Sasuke finally reached Naruto he picked him up by the front of his shirt collar and threw him into the wall, "Why were you in MY desk?!" He asked in a menacing tone.
"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM DUDE?!" Naruto shouted as he got up and rubbed his right arm in pain, "You could have just asked me to get up!"
Sasuke looked bewildered at the fact this new kid was talking back to him, "Why you little-"
Before he could do anything Luffy stepped in front of him, "Leave him alone Sasuke! You don't have to act like a prick everyday!"
"Stay out of this, Luffy" Sasuke said as his eyes started to turn red.
"Hey! If you mess with Luffy you mess with me!" Natsu shouted as he stood up and walked next to him, "You're a bully!"
Sasuke started to get really angry now. He grit his teeth and started to cup his left hand, "Last chance..." he said as electricity started to formulate in his palm.
"Enough Sasuke," A kid with orange hair said as he walked behind him, he was much taller than the other kids, and he had a blank face on, "I hate Natsu and Luffy as much as the next guy but this is too far! It's just a desk,"
Sasuke turned and stared at the kid, his eyes reverted back to normal and he sighed, taking his seat.
"WOW! THANKS ICHIGO! I KNEW WE WERE FRIENDS!" Luffy exclaimed as he ran up to him.
That caused Ichigo to groan, "I HATE YOU LUFFY!"
"You don't hate us Ichigo, admit it...we're your only friends!" Natsu said with a sly smirk causing Ichigo's eye to twitch.
Luffy pulled Naruto up and laughed, "Naruto, this is Ichigo, my second best friend!" This time when Luffy stated that however, Ichigo just sighed and went along.
Naruto just blinked and rubbed his temples, "I can tell that this is gonna be a LOOOONG school year" He whispered while Luffy dragged him to a seat.
"Sit here, this is the only open seat available..." Luffy said pointing at a desk in the front of the classroom.
The teacher finally stood up and groaned, "Good morning class" He started off with a tired voice, "We have two new students Naruto and Sakura, now will you two come to the front and tell us about yourselves,"
Naruto and Sakura both got up and walked in front of the chalkboard, standing in front of their peers.
After a long silence, Sakura coughed and went first, "I am Sakura Haruno, I like pink and I want to make some really nice friends,"
"NOT WITH THAT FOREHEAD!" Someone yelled from the back of the class, it was no other than Zoro himself.
Sakura growled and balled her hand into a fist before closing her eyes and humming a tune, "Very funny, moss head," She said with a smirk causing everyone in the class to scream.
"OOOOH! Zoro got burned by a girl" a student with orange hair laughed.
"SHUT UP NAMI!" Zoro retorted, "That wasn't even funny!"
"Moss head! Moss head!" The class began yell out loud before the teacher shut them up, "ENOUGH! Naruto go ahead,"
Naruto walked up and scratched his neck, "Hi I'm Naruto Uzumaki...I like ramen and ninjas, oh yeah, and my dad is running for mayor!" He said while crossing his arms, everyone stayed silent for a second.
"Wow your dad is the dude on the posters! My dad is voting for him!" A girl with black hair yelled.
"Of course he is Rukia, your dad is a stupid liberal!" Gray barked, this caused everyone to bicker about what their parents said about the upcoming election, but the teacher once again interrupted them.
"SHUT UP! Naruto and Sakura return to you seats. Now kids, my name is Mr. Colgeen" He said writing his name on the board.
"We already know your name Mr. Colgone," A girl with blonde hair and brown eyes said softly, causing Mr. Colgeen to nearly blow a casket.
"IT'S COLGEEN LUCY! GET IT RIGHT!" He yelled in frustration.
"Sorry Mr. Colglint" Lucy said with a frown, Mr. Colgeen just muttered something under his breath and went back to his speech.
"Anyway kids since we finally have an even amount of students we can do our groups of four," Mr. Colgreen announced.
"We have eleven students" Ichigo stated with a confused look.
"I don't care!" Mr. Colgeen said as he clapped his hands and pulled out a stopwatch, "You all have thirty seconds to find a group, BEGIN!" He yelled aloud.
Everyone picked up their desks and ran around the classroom finding people to merge their desks with, when the timer finally went off everyone was in a group except Naruto.
"Ok Naruto, you have a choice of two groups: Gray, Sasuke and Zoro or Natsu, Luffy and Ichigo...choose wisely," Mr. Colgreen informed.
Naruto glanced at the first option, Sasuke pointed at him and then pointed down, Gray glided his finger across his neck and Zoro, he was sleeping. Naruto then looked at the second group and saw Natsu and Luffy giving him intense stares and Ichigo was mouthing to Rukia silently.
Naruto sighed and filled up the final desk spot between Ichigo, Naruto and Luffy.
"OI FRIEND!" Natsu exclaimed as he playfully punched Naruto in the arm.
"Well it's 12:30 and there is only one hour and thirty minutes left of school so I might as well do attendance" Mr. Colgeen said as he pulled out a clipboard.
"Gray Fullbuster,"
"Here!"
"Ichigo Kurosaki,"
"Here!"
"Lucy Heartfilia,"
"Here!"
"Monkey D. Luffy,"
"HERE!"
"Nami, who for some reason has no last name,"
"Here!"
"Naruto Uzumaki,"
"Here!"
"Natsu Dragneel,"
"Here!"
"Roronoa Zoro,"
"Here!"
"Rukia Kuchiki"
"Here"
"Sakura Haruno"
"Here!"
"And Sasuke Uchiha"
"Well I'll take that as a yes, anyway since you guys destroyed my class AGAIN, you will spend the rest of the school day cleaning it!" Colgeen laughed and pulled out a large lunchbox.
"AWW MAN! Come on Mr. Colgeen!" The kids whined, but he just shook his head and started eating his sloppy joe.
"And make sure you don't leave anything behind, the supplies are over there on that table," He said, pointing to a large, circular table in the back while licking the barbecue off his fingers.
Everyone went to the table and grabbed some cleaning materials and started cleaning in groups.
"Ugh, some first day this is, I got wrote up, yelled at, thrown into a wall, met three weirdos and now this," Naruto grumbled under his breath, but Natsu heard him somehow.
"Come on, cheer up Naruto, this place isn't that bad, I mean what was your first goal when you came here?" Natsu asked.
Naruto pondered for a bit, "...To make friends?" He answered a bit confused while Natsu shook his head.
"And you did! The three of us!" Natsu explained, hoping Naruto would understand.
"Two" Ichigo yelled while sweeping the floor.
"Yeah the three of us!" Natsu repeated, making Ichigo growl angrily.
"Some friends you guys are! Luffy wouldn't back off Sakura!" Naruto said with an annoyed look, but Luffy heard and walked over.
"What?! Dude, I don't like Sakura, I just pretended to because I wanted to mess with you!" He said while pulling off his yellow gloves, "Besides Naruto, who was there to help you when Sasuke was about to flatten you into a pancake?" Luffy asked rhetorically.
"...You guys...I guess you aren't so bad after all!" Naruto chuckled and nodded, maybe this school year wouldn't be bad.
"Come on guys put your hands in!" Luffy said as he threw his hand in the middle of the circle, Naruto and Natsu following in suite, the three turned to Ichigo who groaned and reluctantly put his in.
"ZORO IS A CHUMP!" Luffy yelled as the others followed.
Zoro overheard and snapped at the four, "DANG IT LUFFY! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT ISN'T FUNNY!"
"Zehahahaha!" Luffy snickered as dodged the incoming Zoro, who punctured the electricity unit with his scissors.
"Uh oh..." Zoro mumbled while pulling away. Natsu walked up and pulled out his lighter, hovering it above the electricity unit just enough for another fire to start.
"THIS IS OUR CHANCE!" Luffy yelled as he ran out the classroom, the whole class followed as the sprinklers turned on, leaving a sleeping Mr. Colgeen alone.
He quickly woke up once a enough water fell into his mouth.
"WHAT THE?! AGAIN! SERIOUSLY!?" Colgeen yelled as he cursed the class under his breath.
After escaping the school, Class C4 went to get snow cones, Lucy's treat of course since she was the only one with money.
"You know, I'm still wondering...how does Sasuke have powers but we don't?" Naruto asked while taking a lick of his cherry snow cone.
"Eh he's some kind of child prodigy or something, I heard he could have skipped to the fifth grade but chose not to," Luffy replied while finishing his snow cone in one bite.
"Woah, fifth grade, I met a fifth grader once, they are really strong! Having their powers kick in must be awesome!" Natsu said with a shocked face.
"Yep..." Luffy said as started at the sky blankly, "It's getting late guys, we should probably head home" He said glancing at his wrist.
"Luffy you don't own a watch," Ichigo said while staring at his "friend" in a confused manner.
"Oh shut up, but in all honesty I better get going, grandpa is gonna kill me when he finds out I wasn't at school...again," Luffy waved goodbye to the class and took off running, one could only hope he came back alive the next day.
One by one everyone left until it was just Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and a very awkward silence.
"Sooo Sasuke, where do you live?" Sakura asked in a futile attempt to break the dead silence.
"With my dad and my brother across the street from here, but they are rarely around," He said with a yawn.
"Then why don't you just leave?" Sakura asked.
"I want to leave last, is it any of your business?" Sasuke asked her in a rhetorical manner
Of course, she answered anyway, "No but no need to be a jerk about it..."
"Whatever...also Naruto, make sure you tell your dad his fly is unzipped," Sasuke scoffed
Naruto looked flabbergasted as he turned to Sasuke who stared back, "I am going to get you one day as well, be prepared," He said as he squinted and stared the Uzumaki down.
"...Right" Naruto replied as he ran across the street all the way Minato's car, "NARUTO WHERE WERE YOU!? I WAS WORRIED-"
Before Minato could finish his scolding Naruto interrupted him, "Dad your fly is down"
Minato looked down and blushed slightly, "Hehe you're right, but doesn't excuse what you did today! I got a call from Mr. Colgeen and you are in BIG trouble young man, and blah blah blah blah!"
Naruto tuned Minato out and started at Sakura and Sasuke who were standing silently, not uttering any words.
'Man, that was a fun day, hopefully every day isn't like this though...that would be tiresome,' Naruto thought as the car zoomed down the streets, multiple 'VOTE FOR MINATO' signs were on lawns, billboards and much more.
'Yep, this is gonna be a LONG school year' was Naruto's last thoughts before falling into a peaceful sleep.
Next Time- Clubs and Powers
A/N: DragonBall787 here, this is an old fic I decided to repost, that I collabed with String Cheeze about a year ago. If you guys really like it, I'll post more chapters, and I'll take any suggestions for the fic!