Title: The B.O.U.S. Problem
Disclaimer: Not my characters, of course. Also, it's entirely possible that I will randomly borrow quotes from previous episodes of the show without crediting them.
A/N: This takes place after two other fan fics, Better Late Than Never and An Australian Werewolf in Eureka. If you haven't read them, the shortest possible summary is that Zane knows about the alternate universe thing and he and Jo are again a couple, although in the pretty early stages. But this might be more fun if you read those first.
Scene 1
"I can't believe I'm letting you do this," Jo shook her head.
"In fact," said Zane, grinning up at her, "you're helping me." He plucked the sonic screwdriver she was holding out of her hand, and bent back to the lock he was working on.
"I'm not helping," she protested automatically. "I disapprove of this." She turned and looked out into the dark forest surrounding them. It was a beautiful, crystal-clear night, the air chilly with a hint of frost, but all was still and quiet.
"You held the screwdriver." Zane stood, and with a flourish, pushed open the door and gestured for her to precede him. "I'm pretty sure that makes you an accomplice."
"Criminal trespass, breaking and entering, vandalism for the broken lock…" Jo's words were gloomy, but she went ahead and entered the Eureka observatory ahead of Zane. He reached down and grabbed the picnic that Vincent had prepared for them from the ground where it had been sitting and followed her in.
"It's not broken, just opened," he protested. "And eh, don't worry. You're a first-time offender. If we get caught, you'll get off with probation."
"And I'll lose my job!" He flipped on the lights. "Zane!" she protested. "Are you trying to get us caught?"
"I didn't bring a flashlight. And it'd be pretty tough to do this in the dark." With a press of a button, the domed roof of the observatory began to slide open. "Set up the picnic," he suggested, crossing to the controls of the giant telescope and beginning to type.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
"Turning the scope to the Iris Nebula," he said absently, focused on the numbers he was copying to the terminal.
"I thought everything seen through the telescope was recorded?" Jo hadn't moved from where she stood by the door.
"Uh, yeah. But I pulled the plug on the transmission. Someone will notice in the morning and come plug it in again."
Jo frowned, eying him thoughtfully. In his black leather jacket with his shock of dark hair, he looked like the quintessential rebel, the ultimate bad boy. But that? What he'd just said? That didn't make sense.
He turned away from the controls and grinned at her, and without hesitation, she smiled back at him. "So what's in our picnic?" she asked, moving into the observatory
"I asked Vincent for your favorites, and he vetoed that for a picnic. Apparently, Vinspresso, ouzo, and smoothies are not acceptable picnic food."
"Smoothies are healthy," Jo protested mildly.
"And boring." Opening the bag he still carried, Zane pulled out a small square of cloth. Shaking it out, once, twice, three, four times, it seemingly magically turned into a picnic-sized blanket.
"Nice," Jo said admiringly.
He took a little bow. "Not mine, actually," he acknowledged. "That consumer products lab has been working on it. I think it's still a little erratic in how it opens up. But that worked fine."
"It's not going to bite us, is it?" Jo looked at it skeptically. A super-expanding blanket was one thing: an experimental GD project was something else entirely.
"No, no. I think they just have sizing difficulties with it. It'll be fine."
"So what do we have to eat?" Jo sat down on the blanket, and smiled up at him. A flicker of doubt crossed his face, and then he sat down next to her, and proceeded to start pulling things out of Vincent's bag and spreading them on the blanket.
"Bread, of course, is required. Three kinds of cheese. Grapes and strawberries. Olives stuffed with blue cheese, and toasted peanut butter with bacon—I think Vincent was thinking of me on those. And ice cream for dessert."
"Rocky Road?" asked Jo.
"Is there any other kind?"
"I'm partial to butter pecan, myself."
"Really?" Zane looked horrified and then tried to quickly wipe his expression away, as if he was actually tolerant of other people's taste in ice cream.
Jo laughed. Just looking at the expression on his face made her start to giggle, and then giggle harder and harder until she had to lie back on the blanket to laugh.
"All right, what is so funny about that?" asked Zane, exasperated.
"Nothing," said Jo, rolling to her side to gaze at him. "Just…" she shook her head and looked down. "You're not so different, you know," she said almost shyly.
"Ah." Zane slid down on the blanket, so that he was lying next to her. With one hand, he reached up and pulled out her hair band, so that her long dark hair fell around them. "So my virtuous alter ego also prefers Rocky Road?"
"He's not…you're not…"Jo started to automatically defend her Zane from a charge that felt like an insult, and then paused. "Virtuous? Do you honestly think that there's a universe in which you're virtuous?"
"Good answer," murmured Zane, and leaning in, took her lips. She kissed him back, sliding her hand up across his cheek and into his hair and holding him to her. Her mouth fell open under his and their tongues danced, flickering, tangling, weaving together, until she murmured, breathless, "Dinner?"
He pulled back and laughed, a little breathless. "Hungry?"
"Um, yeah," she admitted. "Although I suppose I could be distracted for a while, but…what the hell?" She fell back against the blanket. A giant black something had just flown across the open roof. "What was that?"
"What was what?" asked Zane, looking up at the starry night. The blackness outside their circle of light was absolute, the stars distant glitters of cold white.
"That—that—there was a thing. In the sky!"
"Uh, what kind of a thing?" Zane looked skeptical.
"I…I don't know," said Jo, staring at the sky. She scrambled to her feet, and automatically, almost without thinking, brushed one hand against the small of her back and the other against her right ankle. Yep, she had her guns.
"Damn it, when did you figure it out?'
"What?" said Jo, glancing at him for a quick second before returning her gaze to the sky, adrenaline still pumping.
"That we weren't breaking in," he said, disgust in his voice.
"Oh, that," she said, glancing at him again, amused. "Criminal trespass, and breaking and entering, sure thing. Messing with another scientist's data, no way. Somebody asked you to come change the scope settings."
"I hate being obvious," he complained.
"That's not the word I'd use to describe you," Jo was scanning the sky, trying to find the thing that she'd just seen. In some calm, abstract part of her mind, she was aware that it was incredibly beautiful. They were high on the hills above Eureka, far enough out of the pollution light of the town that the blackness and the stars were almost infinite. But still, some dark kite-like thing had just slid across the sky and she was riding an adrenaline high.
"Well, you can quit pretending you've seen something weird. It was a good try at getting me back for pretending we were breaking in."
"Not kidding," she said. "I was looking forward to you seducing me out of my anxiety about committing criminal acts. I'm sure it would have been very fun. But the thing I just saw was real."