Connor scowls as Bicep Guy comments on yet another one of Oliver's Facebook posts. If he's going to be Oliver's sugar-sweet boyfriend he could at least have the decency to have some major flaws. But no, all of his photos are of him volunteering, spending time with his mother or being inconspicuously shirtless at the beach, looking wet and windswept like he maybe just saved someone from drowning. What an asshole. If Michaela could see him she'd probably tell him to stop being pathetic and go tell Oliver how he feels. Asher would probably state a similar sentiment, but with more encouragement for him to "chase that tail, bro". And while he would normally never, ever trust their advice, it might be a slightly better idea than Facebook stalking. Only slightly.
The opportunity comes sooner than expected. Oliver is talking about some outing he went on with his boyfriend. Connor has tuned it out, but he's sure it was a romantic night of epic proportions. They probably stargazed in a litter of puppies while eating ice-cream and holding each other's hands. Something gross like that. Those are the types of dates bicep guy usually plans. He ponders asking Oliver if Bicep Guy has ever done something actually exciting, like pull him into a storage closet for an hour or so, but they had an unspoken agreement not to bring up that faraway drunken day. Besides, then Oliver would know that Connor was, well…jealous. He might as well admit it to himself if he's ever going to admit it to Oliver.
Connor tunes in enough to hear that Bicep Guy took Oliver to the zoo. It doesn't sound incredible to Connor, but judging by the way that Oliver's feet bounce with every step and his grin flits back across his face every few seconds, it must have been. Bicep Guy, (Connor pictures him as a superhero by now) must have engineered some zoo-wide miracle for their date, like helping a crippled seal learn to walk. Or flap? Learning to do whatever seals do.
Oliver is looking at him, slightly concerned.
"Connor, are you okay? You look a little…dazed."
Connor does not want to tell the truth, but he also doesn't want to encourage Oliver to bring up his boyfriend again by saying everything's fine.
On the spur of the moment, he settles for, "Do seals flap?" His charm has seen better days.
Oliver looks confused.
"I stopped talking about the seal enclosure fifteen minutes ago. Are you…are you still thinking about seals?" A grin spreads across his face.
"They're majestic creatures…?" Connor wonders if he will have to maintain a fake seal-obsession forever just to avoid talking about Oliver's boyfriend.
"In that case, I can't wait to show you the graceful beauty of the dugong."
Connor smiles at that, because he imagines Oliver dragging him over to tanks, happily spouting facts until Connor pretends to be bored, to have an excuse to push him up against the glass and shut him up…maybe not against the tank. Even a master seducer like him could be put off by dugong eyes watching him. They could probably find a storage closet somewhere.
Then Connor catches Oliver say that name again.
"What did Bicep Guy do this time? Buy you a baby elephant? Miraculously get a lion to make friends with a doe?"
Oliver's eyebrows crinkle and Connor is about to apologise for being an asshole, until the beginning of a teasing smile covers his face.
"Connor… are you…um…jealous?"
His heart stammers a little and he stops himself before he automatically denies it all. Now or never.
"Maybe a little," he admits, throat dry, hoping his charm has built up considerably since the last time he opened his mouth.
"I knew it!" Oliver says triumphantly, grinning from ear to ear. "I knew there was a reason you always called him Bicep Guy, why you were always looking at his Facebook profile."
Ok. Not exactly the reaction Connor was expecting, but at least he didn't seem upset or—
"I knew you had a crush on him!"
Wait, what?
Connor stands in still, silent shock at how utterly and completely wrong Oliver is. He's pretty sure he's gaping a little. The computer genius, who got all As, the smartest guy Connor had ever met, could not possibly think that…
"It's ok," says Oliver, "I should probably feel jealous or possessive or something, shouldn't I? But I don't. I don't mind. That's…that's good right, not getting jealous?" Oliver asks hopefully, searching for answers that Connor definitely does not have the capacity to give at the moment.
"Sorry. I don't know why I'm asking Mr Doesn't Do Boyfriends for relationship advice. I shouldn't be asking anyone for relationship advice. I should be happy...right?"
Connor feels about five steps behind in this conversation.
"You think I like your boyfriend?"
"Well, yeah," says Oliver, as if it's incredibly obvious. "You admitted you were jealous. Which wasn't a very well-hidden secret by the way, maybe your nickname for a guy you like shouldn't reference his muscle groups. You know, next time you're trying to be subtle."
"Oliver," Connor blurts out in frustration, "the only thing I envy about your boyfriend is that he's good enough to have you."
No matter what happens, Connor takes a small amount of pleasure in the fact that Bicep Guy has probably never made Oliver's eyes widen like that, and now Connor's done it twice. He owes that storage closet a lot.
Oliver takes a shaky breath.
"So you're saying you…you have feelings for me?"
Feelings. Way too vague a term for the multitude of things he wants to do with Oliver and do to Oliver and oh god Oliver was looking at Connor, embarrassed, hands shaking a little and he should probably just say yes.
"Obviously."
Oliver looks a little unsteady on his feet and Connor is worried he has read one too many Victorian novels and may try to swoon, which would be unlucky when Connor has skipped going to the gym for the past few days.
"He's my boyfriend," Oliver says, more to himself than to Connor.
"Right." says Connor. Oliver has a boyfriend. That is that.
"But I think I like you too…well, I know I like you too."
"Right. Just not as much as Bicep Guy."
Oliver lets out a shaky laugh.
"Stop with the "bicep guy" already."
"Deltoid man doesn't have the same ring to it…"
"Connor!" Oliver admonishes with an unbidden smile, then tries to look serious again, "You know that, hypothetically, if we were together, we'd have to be…together together."
Connor wonders if there was a secret class on relationships that he didn't make it into.
"Um…together together?"
"You couldn't screw other guys."
"Ah." That is language Connor understands. "Of course."
Oliver seems a little surprised by how quickly Connor agrees.
"Oh. Well I still…I still have to think about this for a little while."
"Sure. I know you have Bic—your boyfriend to think about. I just um—thought you should know."
Connor realises he probably should have thought of an escape plan beforehand. He looks at his watch.
"Is that the time?" he asks, cursing himself for falling for the one guy on the planet that actually makes him flustered, "I have to go to class". He stumbles a little to the left.
"You have History right?" asks Oliver, "so…other direction?"
"Of course," he says, walking off and trying not to look back, to retain at least some smoothness.
Well that went terribly.
Connor doesn't hear from Oliver for the next few days. It wouldn't worry him, he is not the needy type, except that he's a little scared the days might turn to weeks and the weeks might turn to years. He spends more time with Michaela, even though she whacks him with a textbook when he says hearing about Oliver's boyfriend was still less dull than learning all about Aiden's romantic plans.
"I'm not going to put my love life on hold every time you're feeling bitter and lonely Connor."
Friendly as ever. Still a better option than spending more time with Asher. When he'd gotten so wasted that he'd told Asher what happened, he'd just said "Plenty more Ds in the sea, man," and made a face. He needed better friends.
On Sunday, Connor sees that Oliver is no longer in a relationship on Facebook. He tries not to get his hopes up. It's not necessarily because of him. On Monday, Oliver waves and smiles shyly at Connor in the courtyard and Connor finds it harder and harder to dampen his hopes.
"Hey," says Oliver, walking over.
"Hi," says Connor.
"I broke up with him," blurts out Oliver, blushing brightly as he realises he's completely skipped over the small talk.
"I saw," says Connor with a grin. "Wait – I—I should probably look sadder about that right?"
Oliver laughs. "It's ok. We're both happy with just being friends."
Friends? Ugh. Does that mean he'll still have to hear about his charity work at the puppy pound?
"Um…do you still feel the same way you felt before?"
Connor looks at Oliver's hopeful eyes and grins teasingly.
"You mean the way I felt 3 days ago? Yeah, Oliver, I haven't had a major revelatory turn-around in the last 3 days."
"Shut up," says Oliver, pink dabbing his cheeks.
Connor opens his mouth.
"I swear to god Connor, if you put on that smarmy smile and say "make me" I will just…I will…"
Oliver knows him too well.
"You'll what?" Connor says, trying to turn his very wide grin into a much cooler smirk.
Oliver grabs a fistful of Connor's shirt and kisses him. Connor feels warm, and he finally thinks he understands why bicep guy – oh god why are you even thinking about him at a time like this – wanted to take Oliver on dates and hold hands and get ice-cream and do all that cheesy rom-com bullshit.
After a few minutes, Oliver breaks off, all smiles, loosening his hold on Connor's shirt a little sheepishly. Connor finds it in himself to care about the state of his hair and starts combing it back down with his hands.
"So…do you want to go on a date?" He searches his mind for acceptable date ideas and is pretty sure bicep guy has stolen them all. He feels like it might be a little too early to bring up the storage closet as a venue again. "Like…the zoo?" Dammit.
"Wow," says Oliver, "you really are obsessed with seals, aren't you?"
"What? No, that's not—"
"Was it the thing I said about seeing the dugongs? You know I was kidding right? But if you insist…" Oliver says, grinning.
Connor rolls his eyes and pulls him into another kiss.