Calleigh couldn't help the wide smile that graced her features as she picked up her phone and read the reply to her earlier text. Before she even arrived home from work, she texted Eric and let him know she expected him at her place for dinner after he was done at the gym. "Be there in 20," it read, and though she never really doubted Eric would come, the long wait for his reply had allowed some of her old insecurities to creep in. She turned the radio up and continued to dice the vegetables for the pasta sauce, singing along to her favorite classic rock station. There was something about cooking for someone else that she found therapeutic, and that along with the feel-good song that was playing were enough to temporarily assuage her nerves about the discussion she knew they needed to have tonight.
Fifteen minutes later, Eric strolled in the door without knocking, a grin on his face as he took in the sight of Calleigh, dressed in tight-fitting jeans and a casual v-neck tee shirt, stirring something on the stove in time to the music and belting out "Sweet Home Alabama". He discovered long ago that she had a beautiful singing voice, though she would never admit it. Much to his chagrin, usually the only chance he got to hear it was when he caught her off-guard. He wondered at the fact that even singing Lynyrd Skynyrd, she somehow sounded amazing. She hadn't even noticed he'd come in, he realized with a smirk, so he set down the bottle of wine he'd picked up on the kitchen table and grabbed her around the waist, spinning her around and causing her to drop the spoon into the sauce.
"Eric!" Calleigh squealed in delight as much as surprise, as he spun her into the middle of the kitchen and planted one hand on her hip as the other grasped her hand and he led her across the kitchen floor. She was giggling now, a sound that was music to his ears, and the smile on her face was his favorite, the one that he knew she reserved only for him. He danced with her in his arms, their bodies close as they could be while dancing a two-step. As the song came to an end, he spun her around and dramatically dipped her and brought his lips to hers for a surprisingly soft and sensual kiss. He teased her lip with his tongue in an attempt to deepen the kiss, but she giggled again and brought herself upright. "Not now, hot stuff," she admonished. "Dinner's almost ready...go set the table and open that bottle of wine you brought." "Yes, ma'am," he chuckled, shaking his head as he reached into the cupboard to grab plates and wine glasses.
Calleigh leaned back into Eric's chest and sighed as she drained the last sip from her glass of wine. They were relaxing on her couch after dinner, watching reruns of an old sitcom and polishing off the bottle of wine. Calleigh wasn't typically one to have more than two glasses of wine, as anything more than that made her a little tipsy, but she knew that tonight she could use a little extra boldness and a little less inhibition for the conversation that was looming.
She knew they needed to talk; their plan to slow down and 'take a break' for a little while was clearly not working, and as hot and passionate as the almost-nightly forbidden rendezvous were, the lack of definition to their relationship at the moment was driving her crazy. As much as she couldn't resist him physically, she yearned for more than that with him in a way she never had with anyone else. Every night she spent without him was nearly agonizing, though she would never admit that to anyone. The two weeks he spent in Puerto Rico seemed the longest of her life, despite the fact that she had been the one who insisted they needed to take a step back and give each other some time and space after what happened with his father. The longer she was without him, though, the more she couldn't understand why she ever thought that was a good idea. It was true she had felt hurt and betrayed by him, but for some reason she couldn't quite understand, she still trusted him with every fiber of her being, still ached for his arms around her every night as she fell asleep.
Eric gazed at her, nestled snugly into his shoulder, watching her pretend to watch the TV. He could tell by the look in her eyes that her mind was somewhere else. He had an idea where her thoughts might be, after all she had asked him here to talk. He took in her features, her beautiful blue-green eyes, the curve of her lips, the slope of her nose, her perfect porcelain skin, and wondered what he had ever done to deserve a woman this amazing. She was gorgeous, beautiful in a way no other woman he had ever been with could come close to, but it was so much more than her physical beauty that had him falling deeper and deeper in love with her every moment he spent with her. Her intelligence, her confidence, her assertive no-nonsense exterior that covered up the shyness he knew she tried to hide from the world, the way she selflessly cared so much for others, the deep fears he knew she harbored from her difficult childhood, the complexities that lurked behind her sunny smile....he loved it all, everything about her, though he knew she wasn't quite ready to hear that yet.
He didn't feel like he deserved her, especially after what he had put her through a few months ago. He regretted his decision to not tell her his plan more than anything, though at the time he truly believed it was for her own protection, but he couldn't take that back now. He knew she had forgiven him almost immediately, but he hoped she could find a way to move past it, to trust him again so they could get out of this excruciating limbo and get back to the way they were.
"Hey," he began softly, interrupting her thoughts, "are we gonna talk?" She broke her eyes away from the television and picked up the remote to turn it off. She bit her lip and offered a hesitant smile as she turned to face him. "I guess we should, huh?" He nodded, and took a deep breath, knowing he would have to be the one to start.
"I...I don't want to try to keep it from happening anymore," he blurted out, knowing she would know what "it" he was referring to. "I know we agreed it would be for the best to let things cool off for a bit, that our feelings for each other had affected our work, that things had gotten too complicated too quickly." He sighed. "But, I just, I miss you so much, Cal," his eyes met hers and taking in the slight smile there, he continued. "I know it doesn't change anything, and I know I've said it before, but I am so, so sorry for what happened, for putting you in that position, and for not telling you what I was doing. I wish more than anything I could go back and do things differently, but what's done is done." She nodded almost imperceptibly, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.
He took a deep breath. "I can't stand being away from you," he said just above a whisper, his eyes meeting hers as he licked his lips. "I don't think being apart is the best thing for us, at least I know it isn't the best thing for me anymore, I don't know if I thought it was. Maybe it was the easiest thing at the time but anything really worth having isn't supposed to always be easy, right?" He didn't wait for her to answer, he needed to get this out. "I don't feel like myself without you anymore, I feel like something's missing. I've never felt like this about anyone before, Calleigh, and it's not something I can stop myself from feeling and I realized I don't want to try to stop it. What we have, it means too much to me," he could see her eyes starting to water, didn't know if that was a good thing or bad, but he couldn't stop himself now.
He took her small, soft hand in his and intertwined their fingers. "I want to be with you more than anything. I'll do whatever it takes to make this work - I can't promise I won't make mistakes along the way but I can promise you I'll never stop trying to be the best man I can be for you, that I'll never lie to you, never keep things from you again, I'll never betray you, I'll give you everything I possibly can because you deserve it all, and so much more," he was rambling now, he knew, but he just couldn't stop. "I love you so much, Calleigh, I -" he stopped suddenly, his mouth still open in mid-sentence.
He thought about what he would say to her tonight the entire time he was at the gym, rehearsing the words as he ran on the treadmill and anticipating her potential reactions and how he would respond as he lifted weights. But never did he anticipate those words leaving his mouth tonight. He had known them to be true for a very long time, probably even before their first kiss, and he knew that she probably knew it as well. But he was also aware that she wasn't ready to hear them, and certainly not tonight, this was not the time to scare her away. He blinked at her blankly, as her own mouth was agape, and while he knew he didn't want to take the words back, he desperately wracked his brain for some way to make her forget what he had just said, to prevent her from getting scared and closing off.
"Eric," Calleigh croaked in a whisper, her eyes starting to well over despite her best efforts to stop the tears. She looked into his eyes and saw the fear there, and the shock, and knew he had never intended to say those words tonight. But that only made her all the more sure that he meant them with all his heart. Her heart pounded in her chest as she watched his mouth move, as if he was trying to say something, but no sound came out. She could see in his eyes the depth of what he felt for her, and as scared that made her, she summoned all her courage. Perhaps helped by the wine, she forced herself to ignore the fear, to say what she felt, to say the words he deserved to hear. "I love you, too. So much that it scares me...I'm sorry that I wanted us to take a break, you're right, it was the easy way out. It's so hard for me to be open and honest, but I'm just so afraid that something will go wrong, that I'll lose you and I won't be able to handle it. But I don't want to try to ignore how I feel anymore. I don't want to pretend that work is more important than you, than us. I've never felt this way before, either. I can't lose this. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." By this point, the tears were running down her face, and she was helpless to stop them.
Eric never expected to hear her say those words, not yet anyway. Of all the possible reactions to his unintended revelation, this was the one he had most hoped for but least expected. He smiled softly at her and gently wiped her tears away with his thumb, his own eyes watery. His hand at her cheek, he drew her face to his and kissed her with everything that he had. He knew neither his words nor his kisses could express half of what he truly felt for her, but he hoped she knew anyway as he kissed her with all he had.
She responded immediately, her lips moving against his, teeth nibbling at that delicious bottom lip, as he parted his lips for her. His tongue gently caressed hers, exploring her mouth and absorbing her taste. Suddenly, the intense emotion of a few moments earlier gave way to even more intense arousal, and she pressed her body against his as her hand delved beneath his button-down to glide across his abs. She whimpered in protest as his mouth left hers but the whimper turned into a low moan as he sucked open mouthed kisses down her neck then worked his way back up to nip lightly at her earlobe.
She let out a gasp of pleasure as he suckled lightly at her ear and she began unbuttoning his shirt. He stopped her three buttons in to lift her arms over her head and remove her shirt. As soon as he tossed it onto the carpet below and continued trailing his kisses down her throat and over her collarbone, she busily continued undoing the rest of his buttons until she was able to push his shirt off his shoulders and run her hands over his muscled chest. His mouth made its way down her chest to the swells of her lace-covered breasts. He moaned as his mouth brushed over one of her pebbled nipples, and the teasing of his warm breath and light touch drew a cry of pleasure from her. She pushed his mouth away and he looked up at her, questioning.
She smiled at him, warm and beautiful and loving. "Let's go to bed," she said, caressing his cheek, "wouldn't want to fall asleep on the couch afterward and give you back spasms again, would we?" He grinned that crooked, teasing grin she loved so much. "No, I guess not," he murmured as he stood up and in one swift motion lifted her up and began to carry her toward the bedroom. She gave a delighted little shriek that made him lave kisses to her neck as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, drawing a groan from him as her hips pressed hard against his. She drew back slightly to look into his eyes. "I love you," she said again, filled with emotion, and then kissed his lips hard. "God, I love you, beautiful," he whispered into her neck as they crossed the threshold into her bedroom. "I always will."