READ THIS!

A/N: So guys, I AM BACK! If you reviewed, I replied and I told you I'd probably post an update well...I'm doing it! So...y'know, please read and sorry in advance for the long author's note...

FOR ANYONE WHO READ THE ONE-SHOT OF THE SAME NAME BY ME, DISREGARD THAT. I'M RUNNING A FULL LENGTH STORY NOW AND THE PREVIOUS SKYPE SEX SHOULD BE IGNORED. MMKAY? WE'RE STARTING FROM THE BEGINNING, MEANING NO SEX HAS BEEN HAD. JUST PRETEND. OKAY? OKAY.

Now, enjoy...and y'know...review haha

BPOV

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" Emmett and Seth chanted beside me as I gulped down the bottle of beer. Their fists pounded eagerly on the counter. I held the bottle from my mouth, letting the last drops of beer fall into my mouth before slamming the bottle down on the counter and cheering for myself, giving the boys hard high fives.

"Damn, Bella! What's that like number eight?" Emmett asked in awe. I could hold my liquor. One of my few talents.

"No, my friend, that was TEN!" I yelled and the bar started to whoop for me, more drinks being bought by the strangers that'd sat at the bar, watching me.

"Get the little lady anotha!" some blonde guy screeched to the chubby bartender.

"Yah!" the bar agreed loudly. The bartender slide more beers my way. Holy fuck, I was gonna be hammered.

*SWS*

"Thank you, Mr. Man," I slurred to the taxi driver, throwing him the first bill I grabbed which happened to be a fifty. "You've beeeeeen very kind," I smiled lazily as I pushed the taxi door closed. Good man, I thought to myself.

I stumbled from the curb, fiddling in my pocket for the key thingy to the building's front door. Fuck. The key refused to go in the fucking hole and that's not okay with me. What the actual fuck? Go in, Mr. Key. Do it for Bella.

30 frickin minutes later, I stumbled into my apartment, kicking the pile of clothes at my door out of the way. I plopped down on the couch, pulling my vibrating phone from my pocket and answering Emmett's call.

"Yo, Emmett, talk to me."

"Drunk Skype!"

"Hell yes. Getcha ass on, bro!" I yelled, hanging up the phone and skipping to my computer. I hurriedly logged into my Skype account, my clumsy fingers fumbling with the letters on the keyboard. What the hell? Why are these keys so small? Is that an A or a P? I typed in Emmett's username and clicked the 'call' button. The image of a bedroom popped up immediately. But no Emmett. What the fuck? He needs to clean his sheets, those are just filthy. Hypocrite. I turned on my speakers and leaned close to the microphone before shouting, "Emmett fucking McCarthy, get your fucking ass to the computer now, you turd!" He should fucking be on her by now. Ugh. I rolled my eyes and cursed at the screen before picking up my Heineken and taking another swallow. Yum, yum, yum. I waited and fucking waited….for five minutes and still there was no fucking Emmett. Motherfucker.

"Emmett, get your ass to the camera or I swear tomorrow, I'm gonna knee you in the balls so hard, you're gonna see fucking Tweety," I screeched to the camera. Ha, Tweety! Bella, you are one funny bitch. I heard heavy footsteps coming towards the camera. Yea, he better be fucking coming. "Next time, don't make me wait so long, you dunce! I-" I stopped mid-fucking-sentence as someone finally appeared in front of the camera. It sure as hell wasn't Emmett.

"Uh…hello? Yea, who are you?" they asked and I wasn't ashamed to admit that my jaw was fucking on the floor as I took in this guy. My panties dropped as well. Metaphorically, of course. Green eyes, fucked up sex hair and a fucking jaw that, alone, made my panties wet. He's fucking gorgeous. "Hello?" he tried again, pulling my attention away from his fuckableness. What was he saying?

My name…what was my name? Alcohol plus this guy is not good for my brain waves. "I…Emmett. I'm looking for Emmett…" I Emmett? I'm looking for Emmett? Oh, I'm so smooth...

He raised a brow and looked around himself as if searching for Emmett. Sarcastic fucker, eh? "Well, sorry to disappoint but there's no Emmett here. I guess you got the wrong Skype." Fucking Skype effing things up.

"I…yea." But this was Emmett's URL though. "Hey, but this is my friends URL though so how…" What if he's kidnapped Emmett? Dun. Dun. DUNNNN.

Hot guy looked confused for a second, scratching his head. "I don't know. This is EDCullen's Skype. Who were you looking for?" He was trying to help me. That clearly means he wants to have my babies. Or however that works…..

"Uh…EDCarthy, I wasn't too far off, I guess it was just Skype acting up," I offered. He shrugged and nodded.

"Guess so. So, uh…goodbye then," he said awkwardly, running a hand though that fuck me hair.

"Yea, sorry, bye." I quickly signed out and exited the browser, before I turned the computer off, mortified. God, that was embarrassing. But at least now I've got a new face to bring to Dreamland with me. I smirked.

Who says website glitches aren't good?

A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter. I know it was basically nothing you didn't already know but whateves. The ext chapter will be up soon. I just wanted to give you guys something before I go to school tmrw. Perhaps your reviews can lighten up my day?

Review and tell me what you think? Thanks for reading!

~Lazy Masochist(Marie)