Hey again! Im back with another Jeff Fic. I didn't expect to be finished it so soon, but i kind of fell in love with it along the way and needed to keep writing. It's not like the usualy stuff i write, it's more deep but i like it. I really hope you enjoy and please review, it would mean the world to me.
Disclaimer I do not own Beth Britt, Matt or Jeff Hardy. I would love to own the Hardy's but sadly i don't lol. The Poem Addicted in the middle of this fic is mine, i wrote it yesterday. I have nothing against Beth Britt, i'm just not interested in writing about her as a main character. I like wirking with Ic characters there more fun and crazy.
"Jeff! Where are all the bridal magazines Julie gave me?" Beth shouted from our living room.
"Don't know Beth, check the bottom cupboard in the kitchen!" I said from my studio. I was trying to paint a picture of something, anything but I couldn't, I stood there in front of the colourless easel, paintbrush in my left hand, music playing for some kind of inspiration around the room but again nothing. This was happening a lot lately, and I hated it. Yeah I know sometimes you get a creative block, but I was Jeff Hardy! The Enigma! I was never uninspired, it just didn't happen. But then again, I hadn't been myself lately. I was different, hell it didn't take a rocket scientist to see it, I knew there was something wrong, Matt knew something was wrong, Shane knew there was something wrong, Shannon knew it too, the only one who didn't realise was Beth, she was too busy with this wedding of ours. She used to be free spirited like me, but ever since I proposed she changed. She thinks she has to be a perfect wife, when nobody is perfect. And the Beth I know should know that too.
I hated talking about the wedding, I hated others talking about it, if I was honest, I didn't want the wedding. Its just Beth has put up with so much shit for me over the years, and I kind of feel like I owe her this. I don't mind being engaged, but marriage is something I don't want to commit to, not right now. Its not that I don't love Beth, I just don't love marriage.
She shouted again, now looking for the invitation list. Her voice was skipping in my head, replaying again and again, I gave up on the painting and threw the paint brush on the plastic around the floor. Funny, the studio was the one place I loved to escape to but now I felt escaping from the studio was maybe what I needed.
I walked out the door and went to my back yard, slowly moving towards my garage I hopped onto my dirt bike and began jumping the newest ramps I put in last week. I loved my house, all of it, inside and outside, I had an art studio, music studio, bike tracks, quadding tracks, wrestling rings, pools and little home made volcanoes, but still none of it was inspiring me. As I was jumping the new ramps my heart stood still, I was twenty to twenty five feet in the air and I felt nothing but the cold air on my body. Usually my adrenaline would be through the roof but I felt no electricity, no spark, no excitement. I was beginning to get more frustrated by the minute, I felt myself shake as I placed my hands on my head. I got off the bike and threw my helmet on the dusty ground.
Deciding to sit at the top of the hill where Matt, the guys and myself used to play when we were younger, hell where we still play sometimes, I sat watching birds fly by, planes fly through the air and just watched life as it happened around me. I looked down at my house, the house I built and planned, to see Matt walking out and coming towards me.
"What's going on Lil bro?" He said taking a seat beside me.
I shrugged. "Nothin, just sitting out here thinking." He gave me an odd look.
"Really, cause ugh, Beth said you've been acting weird today, said you've barely spoken to her." He said looking at me.
"So seriously Jeff, what's going on, you know you can tell me anything, is it about TNA, or the wedding?"
"Oh god damn it if I hear anymore about the wedding I'll scream!" I said clenching my hair with my hands, Matt must have thought I was going crazy, and I guess me losing my creativity kind of made it so.
"So it is the wedding?"
"ITS EVERYTHING MATT! Ok its everything, I'm not me right now, I'm not who I am, I need time to think!" I explained.
"Jeff you need to calm down, you're stressed about court, I knew it was too soon for you to go back wrestling, I should have never let you go back to TNA, you should have listened to me damn it." He whispered.
"Fuck you man!" I said getting up of the grass and walking away. Matt looked at me and followed.
"Woah wait a damn minute Jeff! Don't take your shit out on me, just because things aren't going your way right now." He said before I interrupted him.
"Matt I don't care that things aren't going my way, that's life, but don't keep thinking you know what's best for me cause you don't ok."
"Jeff, what's this about, is it that I'm still with WWE and you're not?" He asked seriously and I laughed. He always thought he was better than me, bigger than me, always thought he knew what was best.
"Oh come on Matt, you think this is about jealousy, I left WWE, I didn't get fired, If I remembered correctly I was the Hardy Boy who won both the WWE Title and the World Heavyweight Title, what did you win Matt? The ECW Championship" Awesome! We all know you only won it because ECW was the only show you could get a decent push on. And believe it or not Matt the only reason you got the title is because your girlfriend fucked your best friend, they gave you a title out of pity, I won all the titles because my fans loved me, and because I earned it, you, you just got a little title push because Adam was sticking his dick in Amy when you were injured, so don't come to my house and say I'm jealous of you, cause you're nothing but a pathetic son of a bitch!" I said before feeling a fist fly into my face. I smirked at him and laughed before leaving him stand there while I drove away, far away from here and everyone I knew.
My cell rang many times as I drove, everyone was ringing, for the same reason I was guessing, Matt and Beth had probably told the core group I flipped out by now by now. Cause suddenly I was getting calls from Shannon, Julie, Shane, Kimo and my Dad.
Two hours later I was still driving around, I didn't know where I was, I just knew I was still in Carolina. I pulled into a little diner, as I was getting tired and fed up of going nowhere.
I sat in the car for a few minutes wondering should I go in or go home, was I being too hard on everyone, I didn't think so. I've just been confused lately, about Beth, The Wedding, my career choices.
I entered the small diner and took a seat at the counter.
"What can I get you hun?" The waitress said, smiling at me.
"Just a soda please." I muttered. She nodded and went to get it. As I looked around the diner, I saw a girl no older than twenty two sitting on her own drawing in her sketch pad, I leaned over on the stool more to get a glimpse of what she was drawing. I couldn't see the girls face but her hair was a beautiful long chestnut brown. Finally I caught sight of what she drew, it was a girls reflection in water and she was crying. Suddenly she looked up at me and I smiled, "Sorry I don't mean to be getting in your business but you're a very good drawer. She smiled at me and I realised how breathtaking she was.
Her face was pale, her lips were full and round, she had her ears pierced at least 3 times on each side and had a tattoo on her wrist and the back of her neck.
"You want to take a seat?" She asked and I nodded.
"Sure." I said sitting down and she continued her work.
"How long have you been drawing?" I asked and she looked up.
"Since I discovered pens and paper." She said smiling.
"What's your name?"
"I'm Shay." She said.
"I'm." She interrupted me.
"You're Jeff Hardy."
"You know who I am?" I questioned.
"Of course I know, this is your hometown, you and your brother are the hometown hero's, god my friend is gonna hate me for meeting you."
I smirked. "You not a wrestling fan?" She looked unsure.
"I'm in between. I loved the WWF, not a big fan of the WWE PG era." She admitted.
"What about TNA?"
"I hate TNA, it copies everything WWE has done, its unoriginal.. oh wait, you wrestle for TNA right?"
"Yeah, I do." I nodded.
"Damn I almost forgot you sold out." She said folding her arms. I looked at her shocked.
"You think I sold out?"
"Look its none of my business, I just think you did a stupid thing, but its not my place." She said closing her art pad.
I didn't know why, but I found her intriguing. She had spunk, a style I hadn't seen for a long while, she spoke her mind and didn't care if she hurt anyone or not. Usually I would have flipped out if someone told me I sold out but she made me think, maybe I had sold out, but what was I selling out for.
We were talking for an hour, we had so much in common, she loved dirt bikes, quads, music, drawing, tattoos, writing, poetry, and singing. She was unique, just like me and I had never found anyone like me before.
"So what's in your art pad, is it just drawings?" I asked and she took it in her hand.
"It's a bit of everything, drawings, lyrics, poems." She said flipping through it.
"Can I see or is it private?"
"Usually I'd say its private but you're Jeff Hardy and I doubt I'll ever see you again so you can have a look." She said handing me the pad. She had decorated the outside of it as well as inside. She had so many poems in it, and her hand writing was amazing. The first poem in it was called Addicted.
She met him in the forest,
One day in the wild,
She was getting away,
He was going to hide,
They didn't want be seen,
But they saw each other,
And since then on,
They were addicted to one another,
He moved closer, as she stood still,
She was unwilling, But he pulled her in,
He had never seen anything so beautiful,
She had never seen a guy so weird,
But nothing about him, did she ever fear,
She was rich, a high class girl,
He on the other hand lived in an ordinary world,
She didn't want her life,
And he wanted to save her,
But it would take more than just one favour,
His family loved her, hers despised him,
They said he wasn't good enough,
That she was living in sin,
But she didn't care, she loved him too much,
She needed him now, she needed his sweet touch,
Yes, they were addicted,
But who said addiction was always a bad thing?
It was always good, when love was promised with a ring.
"Wow." Is all I managed to say.
"What?" She asked.
"Your poems are amazing, and your drawings are brilliant, you've drawn this woman several times, who is she?" I asked and she smiled.
"Its my Mom, she died from cancer last year. I drew her a lot, it was my way of getting over her death.
"She was beautiful, just like you." I said and she blushed. We looked at each other for minutes without saying anything, but then my cell rang again. Shay looked at the cell and then at me.
"So you've been avoiding your phone for quite a while, what's the problem?" She asked and I sighed.
"Its my girlfriend and my brother, she's talking about weddings and he thinks he knows what's best for me." She gave me a look.
"So what, you're rebelling against your brother and you don't want to marry your girlfriend?"
"I guess you go it covered. I mean Beth's great but I'm just….."
"I understand, the more people want you to do something you'll push them away right? Like no matter if they have your interest at heart, you'll still walk away" She asked and I smiled, she was right.
"How'd you know that." I asked amazed.
"I've been in situations like that, my Dad wanted me to join the family business and I wanted to do, other things, like be an artist or sing. And I guess he doesn't think I can make it, that I'm living in a dream world, that I should play it safe, but I don't like safe, I like living on the edge and not may people understand that, I've always been the odd one out in my family, my older sister plays it safe, always sets goals for herself, always has a focus, where as I, I go where the wind takes me, and my Dad thinks that's a crazy way of living, but I always seem to do the opposite of what everyone else thinks, just to prove them wrong." She admitted and I understood completely. I think I understood too much. My phone rang again and I put my hands on my head. She looked at me and smiled.
"You don't know what you want do you Jeff?" She said giving me a sympathetic look.
"You're right, I don't. I I've lost the passion I used to have for……life, I don't know if I even want to be in TNA, WWE was my life and I just let it go, getting married isn't what I want, and I don't even think Beth is who I want anymore. The complications we've had, the fights, I'm tired of fighting, she doesn't understand me, no one does…. Well until today." I said looking at her, she had the most amazing hazel eyes I had ever seen. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and she was so free. She was herself and a part of me was jealous of that, I longed to be free again, not let anything bother me. She smiled brightly at me, and for once in my life I was getting butterflies not because I was about to jump from a ladder, but because I was staring at a girl who was at least eleven years younger then me and she wasn't judging me or using me, she was just being herself around me and I some how opened up to her, like I had never opened up to anyone. Usually I could write my thoughts down, but I had lost all my creativity.
"I don't even know what I'm looking for Shay, I've lost who I am, or who I want to be and I don't know how to get it back." I admitted, I didn't know why I was pouring my heart out to this girl but I knew she cared and it felt good to speak to someone who wasn't saying they knew what was best for me.
"Jeff, you're still you, somewhere in that weird and wonderful mind of yours, the Jeff Hardy you are and always have been Is in there, you just need something to inspire you to bring him back out." She said before her phone rang.
"Hey Dad." She said answering it. She rolled her eyes. "Ok I'm on my way."
"Everything okay?" I asked and she nodded. "Yeah, everything's fine, I was supposed to be home a while ago and he was worrying, we had an argument and I just had to get away from a while, anyway I have to go, It was good meeting you Jeff." She said getting up.
"I don't want you to leave." I spat out before I knew what I had said.
"What?" She said turning back. I shrugged.
"I don't know, it just came out."
She nodded. "Walk me out?" She asked and I agreed straight away. Something about this girl made me wonder, made me rethink my whole life and I was willing to drop everything for her after an hour? I know it sounded crazy, but somehow I was falling for this young girl and I couldn't stop or tell myself it was wrong, cause truly, I didn't believe it was.
As she opened her car door I came closer to her, slightly trapping her. "I want to see you again." I said quietly into her ear. She looked at me amazed.
"Ah you finally want something." She said laughing, I took in her laugh like it was it was the first song ever sang.
"Can we meet up again?" I asked.
"I'll tell you what, when you find out where Jeff Hardy is, and who you want to be, come find me. I'll be waiting." Said trying to get into her car.
"How am I supposed to find you?" I said confused. She looked at me.
"Take this." She said handing me her sketch pad. "Don't open it until you realise what you want, if I'm part of your plan and you've figured out what it is you're looking for, open this and you find me, it'll eventually lead you toward me. She said looking at me with her beautiful eyes.
"Jeff?" She said.
"Hmm?" Is all I managed to say before I felt her lips on mine. I cupped her face and deepened the kiss, I felt sparks in my stomach like I never had before. She broke it fast and got into her car.
"Till next time Enigma." She said driving off. I placed my fingers on my lips trying to see if that had really happened. She had kissed me and I loved every second of it. Part of me believed this was a dream, but dreams never felt this good, as I got into my own car , I placed her sketch pad on the front seat beside me, I looked at the cover for several minutes without blinking, this girl was the most amazing human I had ever met and she touched me in a way no one else had or ever would again. I knew when I went home I would end things with Beth and apologise to Matt. Beth would be heartbroken but its what I needed to do to get me back, the guy I was and the guy I liked being. But most of all I needed to get my passion back. Well actually I knew where my passion was now, it was in the form of a beautiful girl named Shay. She was my passion now, and I would find her soon. When I was back to being me fully, I would come for her, because now, I wasn't lost anymore because she was my inspiration. She was my Enigma.
So i hope you all enjoy this! Um two songs that really helped me get inspired to write this are Plumb-Cut and Rev Theroy-Ten Years. Two awesome songs check em out. Thanks for taking the time to read! Much love! x