This is my first attempt at fluff and humor, so please don't burn me at the stake! X.X It's not going to be the last (unfortunately or not, it's up to you), so give me some pointers, if you please, on how to make it better.

Oh yes, please note I found this randomly while cleaning out my computer and changed it up a bit. Also note that I didn't have Meliantha edit this like I usually do, so if it sucks, well, then, now you know that apparently I need an editor to make my stuff decent. x.x

Disclaimer: All I own is what I hope is the witty banter.








The Lily and The Stag






"I'm going to do it," announced James Potter upon entering the Common Room, fresh from long isolation in his dormitory. He beamed at his three friends, who were all reading in very different positions. Sirius Black was draped upon an armchair like a messy blanket, one leg hanging off the arm; Remus Lupin sat very properly, with one leg crossing the other; and Peter sat rather like a small child; he had pulled up his legs, Indian-style, onto the chair and rested his book in his lap.

Remus looked up the Charms book he was reading, mildly interested. "Do what?"

"Ask her."

"Ask who, mate?" asked Sirius politely but distractedly, engrossed in a Transfiguration book of his own.

"Evans. I'm going to ask her out," said James triumphantly. It had taken a few hours of internal debating, yes, but he was going to do it.

However, the lack of response what not what he expected. Looking upon his friends, he saw no - if any - indication that they even heard his major declaration.

"A little support here?" he pressed, clearly disappointed.

Remus sighed and closed his book. "Well, normally, we would be. But it's just – "

"You ask her out every other week," said Sirius in a pained voice, stretching his arms out and dropping his book on the floor.

Peter agreed. "It's getting old. She's starting to use the same excuses twice in a row," he pointed out.

James frowned. "She is?" After a moment of pointless reflection, he shrugged it off. "But this time it's going to be different!" he insisted. "I'm going to be all romantic about it and everything – "

Sirius snorted and started to laugh, and soon Peter and Remus were joining him. James scowled. "What's so funny?" he demanded.

"It's just…" began Remus, trying to hide a smile.

"You always say that!" finished Peter.

James stared at them. "You lie."

"'Fraid not," said Sirius, who had been laughing so hard he had fallen off his chair. Upside-down, he grinned at his friend from the floor. "You've tried, mate, but I don't think you'd recognize romance if it danced in front of you wearing a rose-coloured tutu."

"What?" said Peter faintly, wondering what on earth had inspired such a thought. Remus frowned as well.

James chose to ignore the odd choice of words. "Your idea of romance is handing a girl a box of half-eaten chocolates, so I wouldn't be one to talk!" he snapped.

"He's actually got a better sense of it than you do, from what I've seen," said Remus thoughtfully, setting his book down on the table. "On Valentine's Day, when that Ravenclaw was crying over her ex-boyfriend, he made her a dinner, remember?"

Sirius beamed. "See!"

James was not impressed. "That may be true, but by the end of the dinner you had a glass of butterbeer thrown at your face and she was back to making out with her ex."

Sirius gave James an indignant look. "Hey! I never said I meant for us to get together. How do you know I wasn't playing matchmaker?"

"I didn't know that word existed in your vocabulary, Sirius," said Peter, amazed. Sirius reached up to seize a pillow from the armchair and threw it at him.

"At least I didn't turn the girl's least favorite teacher into a toad, thinking it would make her laugh!" he pointed out angrily, referring to the time James turned the potions master into a warty amphibian.

James flushed. "Hey! How was I supposed to know she didn't have that kind of sense of humor?"

"You've only been stalking her for five years," said Remus bluntly.

"I…But…Whatever!" sputtered James impatiently. "This time, I swear that I'm going to make her say yes."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Good luck with that, mate."

James gritted his teeth in anger and turned on his heel, stomping back upstairs. Clenching his fists tightly, he ignored the sound of his friends placing bets echoing behind him. James was determined to prove them wrong; he could get her to say yes, no matter what.