"When DLC came out it was the greatest joy in every fan's life. Certain characters came on DLC, ones they wanted. Certain stages came out, certain items, even certain modes! One that was a bother by some smashers however, was the addition of alternate costumes. Now they were just extra clothes, and even extra characters for some. There were some great additions, such as Daisy being Peach's alternate costume and Galactic Knight for Meta Knight but one thing, one costume did bother them. It wasn't the characters no, Daisy was a nice female addition and Galactic Knight is pretty cool, Mrs. Pac-Man was fun to be with and Ninten was a really nice boy. What was the problem here was a certain boy. Wearing a costume. Or rather lack of wearing one.
Ness' Magicant costume. Staring at a naked boy killing you wasn't what everybody wanted. Despite having swimsuit Shulk and workout Samus, Ness was a complete bother. They didn't see his private areas because it was censored but, they could see the censored part moving which actually caused all female smashers and Marth to faint and not want to fight anymore. It was awful and Ninten had told him that but Ness refused to not be in Magicant form.
Marth had suggested wearing the pajamas he wore at the beginning of EarthBound, that way he was still cute, just not naked. Ness told him that his pajamas will get all messed up and that if he showed off his Magicant form, it would be everybody's first cosplay. Shulk decided to cosplay after that.
Ness had fought naked in front of everybody, he didn't care. He was too young, too innocent, to know what his nudity had meant. He thought that nudity meant purity, being naked is a good thing because it's how you truly are. He didn't know about what the people out there were thinking, he didn't know what the girls in smash thought. Samus and Shulk were okay with it, now he was in their sexy club. Marth kind of wished he was in the club too, he loves Ness.
A lot of people complained, especially feminists. They claimed that Ness fighting women naked was an allusion to rape despite the fact that he's a little kid and has no idea what the hell rape even means. Damn feminists, trying to look for meaning in everything.
Eventually, the complaints became increasingly high so Master Hand allowed Lucina to wear a simple blue dress for whatever reason. This didn't solve anything because the dress wasn't even canon so he gave her a wedding dress since that was semi-canon. Feminists complained again so he allowed Dark Pit to be naked since he was practically that when he was with Pit. Still no problems were solved because Dark Pit claimed Lucina was looking at his sacred buns. Nobody cared because Lucina was a female and Dark Pit a male. Logic.
So then, in the end Ness was forbidden to wear it in public tournaments. He was allowed to wear it in private matches however as long as the opponent consented. He was also allowed a Porky - I mean Pokey alt costume and character for whatever reason there was. Pokey has a thing for Ness but Marth is like no. The end."
"That was the worst story I ever heard," Toon Link said.
"Yes, for once I agree that was crappy," Ganondorf said.
Zelda cried.
"I'm sorry... that was my first fanfiction ever! Why would you say something so cruel? I was going to post it on the internet!"
"That was a great story princess!" Link said.
"Really!" Zelda asked.
"... No."
"Dammit! Why can't I just have gay Ness x Marth! Why is everybody so against it!" Zelda cried.
"Ike x Wolf... Ness x Marth... What's next Mega Man x Villager?" Toon Link joked.
They all laugh.
"Well I hate you too!"