Dean's Meltdown (Wincest version)

Hi guys! I'm Savannah! First fic on here! I'm pretty freaking nervous! THIS IS THE WINCEST VERSION OF MY STORY! There is nothing more than kissing, but still! I don't want to offend anyone. If you don't like wincest, I made a Gen version of this story just for you! Its packed full of the same fluff-ey awesomeness, just without the kissing! Anywho, I hope you all enjoy, and I'm looking forward to getting to know some of you! And PLEASE let me know what you think of this story… You have no idea how much it would mean to me

Dean goes through various phases when he gets mad.

When he's annoyed- usually when I gain the upper hand at one of our infamous prank wars, or god-forbid if I forget his pie- he pouts. Well, everyone else sees it as a scowl, as something to be feared. I find it comical… Maybe even a little cute… Mostly because I know I am the cause of his frustration, and Dean has told me multiple times that he would not have it any other way. Either way, it's never bad. He's laughing about it almost immediately after that "scowl" forms on his lips.

When he's angry, things get rocky. He usually gets like that when I say something I shouldn't have, and it kills me that I'm the cause of his anger. He lashes out, says some hurtful, nasty things, and I'm left heartbroken until he says those magic words that make everything okay again, I'm sorry. But he always says them, usually whispered in the middle of the night, when he grows tired of me laying on the edge of the bed just to avoid contact. Then my heart flutters, I turn over to look at him, I smile, he smiles, and all is forgiven. And just like that, I'm in his arms for another night.

But then there are those times. Those times when you just KNOW you could have done better, you KNOW you could have saved one more person. Every hunter feels like that from time to time, and you have to let these emotions out. If you don't, I promise you, you WILL go insane. For me, these emotions come out in tears. After crying (in Dean's arms, of course) for a while, I feel better. Nothing will ever completely alleviate the pain I feel for the one's I couldn't save, but I'm able to live with it. For Dean, though, these emotions come out in rage. A deep, burning, blinding rage that he can never truly satisfy.

This is one of those times. We just got done with a normal, run-of-the-mill hunt. It was just a demon, who seemed to have no motive other than simply just enjoying the thrill of killing innocent people. The demon went on a killing-spree in a local church, claiming at least 30 lives. We tracked the damn thing down, but not before it killed another random, innocent family. Six people, dead, just like that. And I guess Dean is dead-convinced we could have saved them.

"GODDAMMIT!"

I ducked my head just in time to avoid the object that whizzed past my head. I knew Dean wasn't angry with me, but that doesn't make it any less stressful for me to see him like this. I love him so much, after all…. I shook my head, and cleared all thoughts from my brain. Glancing up at Dean, I made a sound deep in the back of my throat, which came out as a mixture between a groan and a sigh, and I got on the bed, making myself comfortable for a long night.

Dean was rampaging our motel room. He dug through drawers just to find something to throw, all the while mumbling various cuss words under his breath. Giving the wall a hard punch, he made his way to the bathroom, ripping though all the towels in the damn place, before trudging back to the main room. As I was busy trying to figure out exactly what the hell I was going to tell the maid, another object hit the headboard, only inches away from my head.

"Dean…", I chided gently.

Dean looked down at me with those green orbs of his that are just so goddamn beautiful, and I could see the glint of remorse take over the anger for just a split second. But then, the anger was back, and he made his way over to the wall, kicking a chair on the way there, and then just gave up, sliding down the wall in a defeated manner. He fists his hands in his hair, bangs his head against the wall, and I don't miss the flinch.

"God Sammy…"

I have a rule when Dean gets like this: stay the fuck away. He doesn't want anyone touching him, and I'd rather not get my lights punched out, thanks. But just the way Dean said my name… I broke. I gently got up from the bed, and slid down onto the floor with him. I turned toward him, nose nuzzling his cheek. I expected him to pull away, but, to my shock, he curls into me. He wraps his arms so tightly around me I think I may choke to death, but I don't really care. He tucks his head under my chin, and buries his face in my neck, as if he were trying to hide from the world. I sit frozen, in shock. Since when did my brother let himself be taken care of? The Dean I knew always took care of me and never asked for a damn thing in return.

I decide not to question it, and just hold him. I have no idea how long we sat there, or when exactly Dean started crying. But once he started, I wasn't sure he was ever going to stop. I repeatedly told myself that it was a good thing, Dean had to get all of this out, but it still didn't stop my heart from clenching every time he sobbed. I simply dropped light kisses into his hair, and whispered how much I loved him into his ear.

Suddenly, he pulled away.

"Sammy… The man… That the demon killed… the younger one…"

By the inflection of his voice I could tell he was asking me if I understood, but I had no idea what he was talking about. Yes, I know who he was talking about. The family of six that I mentioned earlier, it consisted of two parents, along with two boys and two girls. We were not able to save any of them though, and I wasn't sure what Dean was getting at here.

"What about him, Dean?"

"How… how he died… God, Sam.."

I froze. The demon had stabbed him in the back. More than likely severed his spinal cord. He was the younger one of the two brothers, with an innocent face and long hair and… Oh god, Dean. I pulled him back into me and I felt him shaking his head against me.

"It was so much like Cold Oak, Sam. I don't even know how I was able to function. I saw him lying there, and then all of a sudden… it was you. A-And I felt like I couldn't breathe because GOD this couldn't be happening AGAIN!"

I stayed quiet, and just held Dean. I didn't even say a word as his hand came up between us, to rest on my heart. I pulled back to look into his eyes, and it was then I realized what a gift I have in Dean. The simple fact that he trusts me enough to let me see a side of him that no one else even catches a glimpse of… makes me feel honored be his brother, even more so to be his lover.

I stand up, pulling Dean with me, and stumble over to the bed. Its been a long day for both of us. We lay on our sides, facing each other. Just as my eyelids start to droop, Dean grabs my face, and covers my lips with his. The kiss is not gentle; it's more urgent and needy. Dean is desperately trying to convey the emotions he feels, and I hear every word loud and clear. I cannot lose you again, baby. I couldn't live through it. You're everything to me and I love you more then you or anyone else could ever understand. Please don't leave me.

He pulls away and I smile, leaning in and giving him one last peck on the forehead, nose, cheeks, each of his closed eyelids, and finally on the corner of his lips. "I'm staying right here, forever, baby". He nods, smiles softly, and I flip over so we can sleep in our normal position, Deans chest to my back, his hand laying right over my heart.

After laying there for a total of about 3 minutes, Dean broke the silence.

"Hey Sammy?"

"Yeah Dean?"

"The older brother died only a few feet away."

"Yeah, I know."

"Do… do you think he died trying to protect the younger one?"

"I have no doubt in my mind, Dean."

"Yeah… me neither."

I'm so nervous you guys! I would love a review! I try to reply to every review, too. Like I said, first fic, so any constructive criticism is more than welcome! Just no wincest bashing, please guys. If you don't like it, then don't read it, it's that simple. I even made a Gen version for you people who don't like wincest. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS! And if you have any requests for a oneshot or maybe a twoshot that you'd like to see done, I'd love to try it for you. If anyone likes my writing that much, that is (totally not gonna happen xD) Oh, and feel free to PM me if you ever just want someone to talk to on here, I love people. Peace and loooooove