Feeling Empty
I was on my bed cradling my head in my hands. The empty feeling I not had for a few months was washing over me and was controlling me. I felt so empty and sad. I had no idea why I felt like this. i decided it was time to go downstairs. I went downstairs and uncle Jasper hugged me tightly and comforted me. I hugged him back. We stood there for an hour just hugging. Aunt Alice had silently left. then the rest of my family came in and stopped as they saw Uncle Jasper hugging me very tightly. I pulled away feeling better. I smiled a silent thank you at Uncle Jasper. He smiled and nodded. Aunt Alice hugged me and kissed my cheek while slipping something in my jean pocket. I was confused. I went upstairs and saw it was a note. "Dear my sweet niece Renesmee, you don't every have to feel empty ever again. You are so gorgeous. I am so happy that you are in this family. Don't ever change who you are. Just remain the same. That is the girl we all love to see. You are so full of life and love. You never hold burdens against people. You always let go and forgive them. I love that about you. You are so caring, so loving. I can't help but feel loved when I see you. You mean alot to me. And Jasper. Don't you ever forget who you are. The person you are is the person I want to see everyday. Don't ever lose that girl. That is what makes you who you are Renesmee. And believe me, who you are is pretty amazing. I am amazed at how loving you are. I never knewsomeone as young as you could have so much love for life. You live everyday like it is your last. Renesmee, I will always love you. Love, Aunt Alice. xoxo
Getting Better
I smiled and raced downstairs. I hugged Aunt Alice tightly and kissed her forehead. Uncle Jasper smiled. "Look on the back." He said. I looked at the back and saw a note from him. "Dear my wonderful niece Renesmee, Oh Renesmee, it would take me YEARS to list all of your loving qualities! So I am gonna list a few. You are caring, you are loving, and most of all, you are carefree! I am shocked at how carefree you are! You don't seem to care about the troubles going on in our family! You are mostly concerned about us. Your family. I will always love you. You mean so much to me! I LUV all of the happy emotions that I feel you feeling all the time. It makes me happy and I am so thankful to have such a perfect girl like you in our family! You make our family come alive. Nobody is sad when they are around you! I LUV that! I will always love you Renesmee. Love Uncle Jasper" I hugged him tightly. He smiled and the rest of my family except dad were confused. Dad kissed my forehead gently. "I love you Nessie." He said softly. I smiled. "I love you too daddy!" I said happily. I walked to mom when she was sitting on the couch and sat beside her. She put an arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. I was happy with my life at the moment. I looked up as Grandpa Carlisle said"Renesmee, are you ok now sweetheart?" I nodded. "Yes I am Grandpa." I said softly. I looked at the clock and sighed. It was 11pm. It was time for bed. I sighed and hugged my parents. "Night mom, night dad." I said happily. They hugged me back smiling. "Night sweetheart." Mom and dad said in unison. I smiled, went upstairs and into my bedroom. I changed into my pjs and crawled into my bed. I fell asleep very quickly.
New Problem
I woke up the next morning smiling. I felt happy. I went downstairs and sat at the kitchen table. Grandma Esme was in the kitchen making somemthing on the stove. "What are you making Grandma?" I asked. She set a plate infront of me and smiled. "It is bacon and eggs baby." She said. I started eating and she went into the living room. I finished my food and put my plate in the dishwasher. I went into the living room and sat on Grandma Esme's lap. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me gently. We watched a movie together and when it was over I stood up and got my shoes on. "I am going for a walk Grandma." I said. She grinned and nodded. "Ok sweetie." She said. I went outside and walked down the road just thinking about my life. I loved my parents a whole lot. I turned around and walked back. 2 hours later I went back to the house and walked up the porch steps. I stopped in the doorway. My family was pacing. Mom turned and sighed. I walked to the couch and sat on her lap. She kissed my forehead and I asked"What's wrong mom?" She kissed my cheek. "Renesmee, Jacob is back. And he is looking for you." She said softly
The Fear
I sat there shaking. No! NO! The last time he was here was 2 years ago when I was 12 years old. He had tried to kill me and strangle me. I started to cry. Mom rubbed my back and squeezed me. "He won't touch you." She said. I crawled into dad's lap and he squeezed me gently. I went upstairs and slammed my bedroom door. I was scared. I crawled into my bed and sobbed. I went downstairs and sat beside Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie. They squeezed me. I snuggled against them. I was so scared. "What are we going to do?" I asked. Dad sighed. "We are going to protect you." He said fiercly. Mom snarled. "I have had enough of him!" She hissed. I nodded in agreement. I was scared but I wanted to go to the beach. I stood up and said "I am gonna go to the beach and swim." Dad smiled. "Ok sweetheart." He said. I walked outside and to the edge of the trees just as a wolf jumped out at me.
Facing My Fear
I screamed in fear. My family raced outside. I realized it was Jacob! He dragged me into the woods by my legs and I kept screaming in fear. He threw me into a tree and I cried in pain and agony. I rolled on the ground in agony. I heard my family attacking Jacob and was glad. I staggered to my feet and looked up and saw Jacob in his human form. I stalked over to him and slapped him. My mom grabbed me and squeezed me. I screamed in protest. I finally fell to my knees crying in pain. I rocked back and forth. Mom rubbed my back and comforted. I looked up and they had Jacob by the arms. I hated him. SO much! I stood up and walked up to him. "You listen to me you stupid asshole! I am fucking done letting you scare me! I am ready to walk away and be my own person. I am ready to be myself." I screamed. Uncle Emmett and Uncle Emmett took Jacob to the local jail. They came back and I smiled. I took mom's hand along with dad's hand. We walked back to the house and back to our new life and my new start. I was ready to face my depression and battle it.