Market War


"G-girls!"

It was déjà vu all over again. The girls were going crazy over what to buy. This time, it was not swimsuits. It was not even military gear. It was one thing even we non-tank experts love.

It's food.


"Momo!"

"Prez! What is it?"

"Whe . . . Where are my chips?"

"Your chips?"

"My sweet potato chips? Dried sweet potatoes?"

"Oh . . . well . . ."

"All gone again, heh?"

"Yes, Prez. You never stop eating them."

"Well then! Why not? Yuzu!"

"Yes, Prez?"

"Call Miho."

"Not again . . ."


"So," said Anzu, munching on a beef jerky, while lying down on her team's tank, a Panzer 38(t) that is now a modified Hetzer. "That's why we're going out to eat!"

Everybody else cried out in agreement. "Yay!" Anzu chimed in. Well, she cried this out to only seven other girls in the garage:

Miho Nishizumi stood there, confused. The girl with light brown hair and very sweet eyes stared, wondering what was going on. She simply lifted her hand up and said, "O-Oh . . ."

Saori Takebe waved her hand frantically. "We're finding something, or someone, to fall in love with!" she cried out.

Hana Isuzu, a tall, beautiful girl, tilted her head. "I do not think that is why we are here," she said. Saori only pouted.

Yukari Akiyama, the girl with curly, fuzzy hair that looked somewhat like an afro, jumped up and down for joy without a good reason. "I am just excited!" she exclaimed.

Mako Reizei, the sleepyhead with long, black hair and drowsy eyes, swayed back and forth. "We're on an errand," she moaned. "Anzu Prez just needs more chips to eat . . ."

Momo Kawashima, the tallest of the girls present, fixed her monocle, sighing at the president's plan. "I can't believe we're doing this . . ." she silently murmured to herself.

Yuzu Koyama, the tall, good-natured girl with a thick ponytail, just stood there and followed the roar.

"Prez," said Momo. "Do we even have enough money?"

Anzu winked. "I got some," she replied. "I am Prez, after all."

Momo rolled her eyes. "I can't believe we're doing this. In fact, isn't this the second time she did something like this, again? And without a good reason . . ."

"You still love to question her, don't you?" Yuzu said, smiling. "It really fits you, Momo-chan."

"Stop calling me Momo-chan!" Momo complained, aghast. "Sure, we know each other for so long, but I don't like that!"

"Aw, come on!" Yuzu said, poking at her friend's chest. Momo stepped back, blushing. "Brighten up, will you?"

"Well then!" Anzu shouted. "Let's a go!"

"Let's a go?" asked Miho.

"We heard that before," Hana said.

"Oh yeah!" I remember now," Miho said, blushing. "Just the Prez's own thing . . ."


"And why are we doing this?"

Miho Nishizumi kept her head out of the tank cockpit, watching the road to their destination, following their president's Hetzer tank. She and her four teammates composed the Anglerfish Team, the pride of their school. It was just a few months ago that they managed to save their school from permanent closure for the second time. Since then, for reasons that seem obvious, they start to feel the pressure.

The pressure of taking on more responsibility, Miho thought to herself. I hope that it will go well.

Growl. Miho blushed.

"Food!" Saori suddenly cried out. "Oh, I am starving to death! I want to eat something good! But I don't wanna gain some weight . . ."

"Go, on, a, diet," said Mako slowly, making her friend pout in frustration. Mako was driving their tank, a Panzer Ausf. H., the tank that made the winning shot. Although she was driving fine, the sleepy girl slightly swayed back and forth in her seat. "At least, it will help you have a smaller stomach."

"Or a bigger one!" Yukari cried out, not knowing what she was talking about. She also poked her head out, along with the others. "Let's get enough food for a feast!"

"That's a great idea," said Hana. "I actually feel hungry for once."

Others stared at her. Mako just rolled her eyes.

"Hana . . ." Saori moaned. "You are almost always hungry, especially when we had to skip breakfast to come early!"

"Let's go buy food cans!" cried out Yukari, raising her left hand high. "Or just find emergency packages for reserves!"

"We're going to a farmer's market," moaned Saori. "We're not going to a war zone market, for crying out loud!"

"Oh yeah! Sorry about that! Hehe!" Yukari answered, embarrassed at what the Prez said. In fact, it was her idea.


"Well, where should we go?"

"HUH?" everybody else cried out, aghast.

"What? You didn't even think about that?" Momo exclaimed.

"Hey, come on," Anzu said. "I suddenly remembered that I forgot about that part of the plan. I could not concentrate much, due to the lack of chips. This jerky is just my substitute. Too meaty for me, though."

"How about a farmer's market?" Yukari shouted out, a little louder than usual, because she loved that place. Anzu turned around in her direction, full of curiosity in her eyes.

"I-I mean," Yukari continued, trying to avoid the President's eyes. "That farmer's market is full of amazing food out there! They're also generous; I got so many free samples, my mom actually thought I bought something there!"

"What exactly did you get there last time?" asked Mako. "And the name of that place?"

"A whole pound of-haha! Man, I did not think back then, but I got a whole pound of sweet potatoes!" Yukari admitted, scratching her head. "The Ibaraki Farmer's Market has plenty of friendly people, and a lady who sold that pound gave me a free bag of sweet potato chips!"

"Oh?" Anzu realized, smiling. "Free chips, huh?"

She turned quickly to everybody else.

"Alright then!" she yelled, catching everybody's attention. "We've decided! We're going to the farmer's market!"

"YYYEAHHH!" everybody cried out.

"YOOOHHH!" Miho's teammates cried out.

Miho was the only one who did not say anything at first. Hesitantly, she slowly raised her right arm to gesture in agreement.

"O-oh . . ." she managed to say it.


"And that's how we're going there."

Miho sighed, remembering that encounter. It seemed that even their school president had a major weakness.

"She acted fine and all," Hana reminisced. "But I can tell that she was trying to keep her usual composure. Without any sweet potato chips, she seems to be losing it a little."

"All the better reason," said Saori. "To find those chips ASAP!"

"But why the farmer's market?" Miho pondered "Many of those chips she bought were from local supermarkets."

"I guess," Yukari said, blushing. "That my passion alone inspired her to try chips from a different place."

"And how do you know about the market?" asked Hana.

"Well, I don't remember much," said Yukari, scratching her head. "It's something-oh! That's why!"

Everybody turned to see the direction that Yukari was pointing at: a sign saying in bold:

IBARAKI FARMER'S MARKET.

"We're almost there!" she cried out. "Now I remember! Just go and see it!"

"Will that alone answer our question?" asked Saori.

"Yes!" Yukari replied. "You'll see!"


"Wow!"

Everybody stared in amazement. Sure, they had lived almost their whole lives in the carrier and in town, but even they did not expect this. The Ibaraki Farmer's Market was a site to behold. Rows after rows of vendors displayed goods after goods. Some sold produce, while others sold street food to eat on the go.

"It's so big!" Saori cried out. "Why didn't I even know about this?!"

"Well," said Anzu, trying to munch on a particularly hard jerky; she apparently was struggling with it. "It's rather far away. Despite its name, the Market is closer to our town than to most other towns and even cities in the Ibaraki Prefecture."

"That's our district, right?" asked Miho.

"Correct!" Momo shouted, making Miho jump. "And yes, I guess you're still new here, so there's no need to rebuke you and such."

"That's quite considerate of you," said Yuzu. "Momo-chan."

"Stop calling me that!" roared Momo, while others laughed in the background. "And you said it in front of everyone!"

"So," said Miho. "Why not go?"

"Agreed!" Anzu cried out. "Let's a go!"

"Say," Yuzu said. "What exactly is a farmer's market?"

"A farmer's market!" answered Yukari loudly, making her and everybody else jump. Her voice also started to speed up a notch. "Is a glorious thing! As good as the Maus and the Karl-Morser and the Long Tom and such and such! It's a freaking place where actual farmers from around the localities come and sell their food and goods directly to us and us! So we know EXACTLY what and where the food is and comes from and-"

She suddenly stopped cold, when a familiar hand laid upon her right shoulder.

"Panzer high," a familiar voice rang.

"So . . . So sorry," Yukari apologized to her leader. Miho lifted up her hand.

"So," Yuzu said, trying to regain her composure. "A farmer's market is a market where we directly meet the people who make the food, right?"

"Yes," said Anzu. "And it sure sounds fun!"

"Obviously," said Momo. "It seems that Yukari-san here has a 'Farmer High' after all."

Everybody erupted in laughter. Even Yukari joined in. Momo blushed.

"Wow," she admitted. "I am normally not that good at joking."

"Well," said Yuzu playfully. "It looks like Momo-chan takes the cake."

"Don't call me-wait, did you say 'cake'? What do you mean by that?"

"There's a cake," uttered Anzu. "Let's go at it."

"Prez!" roared Momo, chasing after the little girl. "Wait for me! Don't go off-topic like that!"

All others laughed, as the Student Council left and disappeared into the market crowd.

"Why not join in?" asked Miho, and everybody else agreed.


"YES!"

Yukari turned fanatic upon seeing vendors after vendors. Dashing back and forth, she squealed at the vendors and their produce.

"Look at all these amazing stuff!" she roared. "So much fresh stuff! Even veggies look so yummy!"

"Eh . . ." her friends looked on, surprised at their friend's unusual obsession.

"I never knew that Yukari was such a fan," said Saori. "Of farmer's markets."

"If I remember correctly," chimed in Hana. "Her parents mentioned about taking her back here a while ago."

"Oh yeah!" Miho also remembered. "She did talk a little about that. I was actually surprised that she would even know about this place. No wonder she's acting as if she was here before."

"Wow!" Saori drooled, inhaling the aromas of the food cooking. "Th-This is almost as good as, or even better than, the Anzio's own food stalls! Right Mako? Mako?"

The Anglerfish girls looked around. They found her.

"Mako!" roared Saori. "How many sweets did you eat?! You're holding too many cupcakes and ice pops!"

Everybody else laughed. Except for one, and he was not happy . . .


"Why here?"

A man dressed in a heavy jacket came into the Ibakarai Farmer's Market. He wore a white mask, a common sight among urban dwellers who hate the city air. However, to see a man wearing the same thing in a clean, rural countryside caught more than a few glances.

"Sir," asked a vendor selling exotic scarves. He appeared to be from the Middle East, having a thick beard with an interesting accent. "What are you doing? It's not even winter, you know?"

The man ignored the vendor, although the scarves did look quite exotic. "I think I will steal a few of them next time," he told himself. "I am a villain, here to conquer the world. Not here for scarves, although they look like the manly thing . . ."

The man cleared his throat. "What am I thinking?" he muttered to himself. "I am here as a tourist, but really to scout all the school carriers here, and find a way to hijack the most important ones. From what I read in the news, the Oarai one is the 'one' I need to start with."

He kept looking around. The market was a lot bigger than he expected. Fortunately, he came quite early, as in coming at around 9:00AM-early. A stranger on the road told him to come to the market earlier, because the huge crowd comes at 11:00AM or so. He kept that in mind.

"I wonder where to start," he mumbled, strolling through the streets. Waves after waves of vendors sold all kinds of goods, far more colorful than the ones he saw at supermarkets. While passing by, he managed to take away a couple of the goods, and quickly put them into his already-heavy backpack.

"I stole quite a lot," he admitted to himself in a low voice. "But these things look even better . . . Why didn't I start with these in the first place? And it is from here that I should be able to get to Oarai . . . But why didn't I know about this market sooner?"

"I guess it's because of the word 'farmer' that few know of this place."

The man jumped, turning around to frown at the source of the voice. A medium-sized brunette with short hair but very friendly eyes stared at him. Next to her were four girls of similar size, except for two of them, one shorter and one taller.

"Hmmph!" the villain grunted. "Who told you?"

"Well," the brunette began. "I-I think you needed help."

"Heh!" the man grunted. "I am just passing by."

"Well," a girl with ginger hair and black, thigh-high stockings pouted. "You sure look like a middle-aged type of a man."

"What did you say?" the man hissed. "I, the great villain of Thompsonville, will become the greatest of all, and you will pay for that."

He realized it, but it was too late. He gave himself away. He covered his mouth in shock. The five girls stared at him, clearly perplexed by the man's sudden outburst.

"Villain?" the shortest of the girls blurted out. She had sleepy eyes and long, black hair. She was clearly sarcastic, and the man hated her for that. "What a moron."

"Who are you?" the other four asked in unison. The villain already could tell who's who by their voices alone. The brunette was apparently the leader of the five; her voice commanded a sense of friendliness yet charisma. The ginger-haired girl spoke with a high-pitched accent; she was clearly one going after boys. The tallest one had an air of beauty and elegance to her voice. The curly-haired girl had a rather rough edge to her voice; she was the type not used to much company.

"I . . ." the man began, but decided to just say it. "I am just a stranger passing by here."

"Oh?" the ginger-haired girl said, pouting. "You sure don't look scary to me."

The villain pursed his lips, furious at that girl. "I'll go after her if I get enough power," he whispered to himself. "She'll pay for that!"

"What did you say?" asked the same girl.

"Nothing!" he blurted out "Anyway, can you girls give me directions through here?"

"Umm, sure," the leader of the five answered. "We were here since 8:00AM, so we are now familiar with the whole location. But we do not know all vendors; today is our very first day here."

"Oh," said the man. "Any help will help-wait, are you that girl?"

"Who?"

"Are you Miho Nishizumi?"

"Oh!" the girl uttered out loud. "Yes! I am her."

"Oh," the man admitted. "I did not realize it was you. I've heard you in the news. That's some amazing fighting there!"

"Oh-well-yeah . . . Th-Thank you so much, Mask-san," Miho admitted, blushing.

"Sheesh!" the man whispered to himself. "What a bunch of naive gals! What's up with these Japanese cuties?"

"Anyway," said the ginger-haired girl. "Who are you?"

"Isn't it rude," said the man. "To ask without formally introducing ourselves?"

"You did it, too," mumbled the shortest girl, who was swaying back and forth.

"What did you say?" yelled the man.

"Nothing," she replied, her eyes looking away.

"S-She's right," Miho said. "We should formally introduce ourselves. Yes, I am Miho Nishizumi.

"I am Saori Takebe," the ginger-haired girl articulated herself.

"Hello, stranger," the tallest girl said, giving him a curtsy. "I am Hana Isuzu."

"And I am Yukari Akiyama!" the curly-haired girl said out loud, a little too loud for the man's ears.

"Ouch!" he cried out. "And you, sleepyhead?"

"Mako Reizei," she answered, leaning on Saori for support.

"I am Mr. Thorium," he blurted out, deciding that a couple of "stupid" girls would not harm him after all. "And call me 'sir,' not 'san.' It gives me the creeps."

"Huh?" all five girls asked.

"N-Nevermind!" he said. "So what are you all doing here?"

"We're here to shop!" Yukari exclaimed.

"That far away from Oarai?" he asked. "And where is it?"

"Oh!" Saori roared, suddenly dashing at a vendor with a colorful display of cupcakes and bricks. "Kawaii! They look so good and aromatic!"

"Oh!" the vendor cried out. "These are not food; they're soaps and inedible goods for skin care."

"What?" Saori asked, while her friends giggled. Even Mr. Thorium chuckled.

"Stupid girl," he whispered to himself. "Now, I need to find out where Oarai is, but more importantly find out where Miho really lives and everything about her."

"Excuse me," he began. "Miho, where is-"

"Ohhhh . . ." Mako dashed past Miho and Mr. Thorium. Both looked at her. She immediately grabbed a free sample of chocolates.

"Lovely and sweet," she declared. Mr. Thorium rolled his eyes, while the others giggled.

"Oh, look!" Yukari cried out, running towards a vendor. She was an old lady, selling displays of freshly cooked dumplings.

"Obaasan!" Yukari yelled out loud. "Remember me?"

"Akiyama-chan!" the lady cried aloud, jumping for joy. She went around her table to hug Yukari. "Long time no see! You've grown up a lot!"

"Hehe!" she admitted, blushing. "Obaasan, I miss your local food!"

"Oh-ho!" the elderly lady said, holding her softly. "You look thin and hungry. Why not try my dumplings for free?"

"Obaasan!" Yukari moaned. "We have money, you know!"

"Oh shush, little sweetie!" the lady said. "I have plenty of dumplings! You there! Come and try mine!"

"I have money!"

"No, you don't"

"Yes I do!"

"No, no! Here you go!"

In the end, Yukari got five king-sized dumplings (as big as the palm of her hand), while each of her friends got three. Hana, however, got ten.

"Can you eat all that?" Mr. Thorium stared, aghast. He only had two, because they were so big.

"Why can't you eat three?" Saori asked. "At least I got the veggie ones, so they should be leaner than those meaty ones . . ."

"Her meaty, fatty Pork-buster Dumplings," Yukari said, blushing. "Oh, they're so good. My mom used to get angry at the Obaasan for giving me free samples."

"They're amazing!" said Hana, munching on her sixth morsel.

"How did you finish that fast?" questioned the wide-mouthed villain.

"She's a big eater," mentioned Mako, munching on her last dumpling. "Hmm, her Sugar-Pop dumplings are amazing."

"And what am I doing?" Mr. Thorium whispered to himself. "Eating these stuffings? Arghh. I am here to take over the world, not to follow stupid young girls . . ."

"OH!"

Mr. Thorium winced at the curly-haired girl's scream.

"Look at them all!" Yukari cried out. "Tempura! Sushi! Bento! Even strawberry shortcakes!"

Miho stared, drooling. She quickly wiped her saliva off.

"Oh please," murmured Mr. Thorium. "Let me get out of here . . ."

"Mr. Thorium!" Miho called out, carrying a bento box. "They gave me a spare one, and I can't give it to Hana! She already had too many boxes! Let's go and eat elsewhere!"

"Why is this gal so nice?" Mr. Thorium said to himself.

"Oh!" Hana suddenly cried out, dashing past Mr. Thorium. He was starting to get annoyed.

"Look at those scarves!" Hana stared, enchanted by the scarves. "What are these?"

"Turkish-made, bamboo towels," the bearded vendor said proudly.

"Bamboo towels?" all five girls stared in shock. Mr. Thorium raised an eyebrow.

"Those towels?" he blurted out. "How?"

"Well! Let me-hey, are you that guy from before?"

"Oh! I am-but I was busy a while ago," he lied.

"Alright, then!" the vendor declared. "All six of you, feast your eyes on these!"

All of them spent a little more than usual to look at the towels.

"T-These are made of bamboo?!" Saori stuttered. "They do feel a little rough, but definitely soft enough to be used as towels!"

"My, my," Hana stared, almost hypnotized by a particularly emerald-green towel with ruby-red roses and pink cherry blossoms. "I almost want to caress it . . ."

"It's towel, not boyfriend," Saori snapped her out of it. Everybody else laughed.

"OH!"

Everybody jumped at Miho's reaction. She was cuddling a towel with a picture of Boko, a teddy bear famous for having bandages all over him.

"Can I have this?" she asked, her voice full of thrills and excitement. She was squealing like a young girl, who has just gotten her favorite unicorn or doll.

"My," the vendor admitted. "I didn't think that would sell. But since you're so into it, I give you a discount."

"Yay!" she exclaimed. She searched into her wallet, and realized it.

"Oh no!" she cried out. "I don't have enough cash!"

"I will give you one," Mr. Thorium said. "Even though we're strangers, I have plenty of cash."

"Thank you so much, Thorium-sa-no, Mr. Thorium, sir!" she replied in gratitude.

"Don't sweat it," he replied, giving a sneaky smile. "Here is the cash."

"Thank you," the vendor stated. "Here is the towel."

"Yay!"

The group then left the tent. However, the vendor looked at the cash.

"That moron of a . . ."

He took out his phone.

"No, not the girls. That masked man."


"What am I doing?"

Mr. Thorium kept trying to get away from the girls, only to get dragged in again and again.

Miho kept going back and forth, squealing at the displays of teddy bear merchandise, some of them depicting Boko. Saori screamed at the top of her lungs at the "boy-attracting" attire, such as scarves and even lucky charms. Hana calmly stared at a collection of handmade fake flowers, made from recycled matter. Yukari kept collecting free samples after samples of food from her old vendors, who were glad to see their "cute friend" back. Mako dashed back and forth between vendors that sold sweets, gulping down cupcakes, brownies, and even an entire apple pie with little effort.

For Mr. Thorium, he ended up paying for all of their stuff.

"G-girls!" he moaned.

It was déjà vu all over again.

"Yum!" Yukari cried out. "Thanks for your help!"

"Y-You're welcome," he admitted. "Well, I think I heard from you that you're here to look for sweet potatoes, right?"

"Yes!" Saori screamed out. "Sweet potato chips, to be exact!"

"Oh yeah!" Yukari exclaimed. "Now I remember where to find them! Come with me!"

All the girls rushed to the spot, while Mr. Thorium just followed, without thinking much.

"W-What am I doing?" he said to himself. "I-I need to get out, before the vendors realize that I gave them . . ."

He noticed a police officer, coming into a corner of the market, far away.

"I really need to get out before-"

"Mr. Thorium! Come here!" the voice of Miho echoed. Although small and sweet, it carried a sense of authority that was obvious of a girl with military training.

"C-Coming!" he cried in response. He walked towards them.

"Here it is!" Yukari roared. "The sweet potato lady!"

"Oh! The Student Council is here!" Miho noted.

Anzu, Momo, and Yuzu were all standing there. Yuzu did all of the transaction work, paying and checking for the goods. Momo was holding bags after bags of dried sweet potatoes. Anzu was munching on her chips, clearly enjoying them all.

"Are they that good?" Saori asked. "Or is it because she had not eaten one for the past 24 hours?"

"It could be both," Mr. Thorium replied. "Her face shows it."

The sweet potato lady continued to deal with Yuzu, smiling all the while.

"Anzu-san!" Miho called out to the Council.

"Miporin!" Anzu blurted out, still chewing on her chips. "I am so good!"

"Oh," Saori said, startled. "Anzu is not exactly in her right mind. Normally, I call Miho 'Miporin,' but hearing someone else using it sounded odd."

"Yup," Mr. Thorium said. "It makes sense. She's sort of 'drunk' on chips."

Saori and Mako nodded in agreement.

"Mmm!" Hana mumbled, impressed with her fourth chip. "These sweet potato chips are great!"

"Better than the ones I ate!" Anzu declared, munching on her fifth chip. "Yukari-san, thank you so much for getting us here!"

"Oh, it's nothing!" Yukari said, blushing. "This stranger here even was generous enough to help us pay for some of the food!"

"Who are you?" Momo asked sternly, glaring at the masked man. "You definitely look strange."

"Mr. Thorium," Miho said, introducing the man. "He's quite a nice guy."

"A bad impression," mumbled the man. "I am a villain. What am I doing?"

"Oh!" Yuzu called out. "I need a few more yens!"

"Here you go," Mr. Thorium said, giving a few bills.

"Thank you!" the lady said. "You're now-wait. What's with these yens?"

"Uh-oh," he realized. Silently, he tried to back away.

"Oh-ho," the sweet potato lady declared, glaring at the man. "Fake bills, huh? Clever. Not!"

All the girls turned to stare at him. He decided that enough was enough.

"Steady still, my dear," he said in a low, harsh voice, pulling out a Glove gun. "I have a gun."

"Oh please, oh please!" Saori stuttered.

"I knew it!" Momo growled.

"Please . . ." Anzu rolled her eyes, still munching on her chips.

All others froze still, except one.

Smack.


Miho Nishizumi was no ordinary girl. She hailed from a family famous nationwide in Japan for their military training and disciplinary mastery. One does not mess with a girl of that type of upbringing. She was indeed nice, but one should never threaten her friends . . .


"Ouch," the lady remarked. "That must have hurt."

"Wow," Miho admitted. "I-I did that."

"You're our hero!" Yukari yelled, eyes wide with amazement. "Nishizumi-dono, please teach us that!"

"W-wow . . ." Saori stuttered. "You are . . ."

"She's Nishizumi, after all," Hana stated calmly.

"I almost thought I would die there!" Mako whispered, the shock lingering in her voice.

"Well," the lady said. "You girls deserve a reward. Let me give you a few more foodstuffs to take home."

"Th-Thank you so much," Miho uttered.

"Oh!" Saori cried out. "The police are coming!"


"I . . . I can't believe it."

Mr. Thorium moaned, as he recovered from the blow. Apparently, that nice girl of a brunette delivered a blow so bold and so hard, that he was knocked unconscious. Fortunately for him, he managed to recover enough. By then, he was in handcuffs and leaning on a police cruiser.

"Miho Nishizumi-san, right?" an officer asked the brunette. "That was an amazing shot, there."

"Y-You saw that?"

"Of course!" the officer admitted. "I visited the market upon hearing the 911 call. A scarf-selling man sent me that call, and I came as soon as possible. The way you knocked him with that side of your beautiful hand, that is the move of a well-trained professional!"

"Oh , t-thank you so much, officer-san," she answered. "A karate chop or something, right?"

"The Nishizumi family . . . You girls are amazing," he blurted out, blushing. "I want my son to marry you someday."

"H-Huh?"

"Oops!" he realized his mistake, blushing again. "N-Nevermind that!"

"Arrgghh . . ."Mr. Thorium moaned. "I hate love talks. They give me the goosebumps."

"Your bumps, you mean," Mako mocked at the restrained villain. She leaned right next to him. "Weak villain."

"Shut up!" he growled. "I hope to get out of jail, someday!"

"Not on my watch," Mako rolled her eyes, walking away. "Kiss my tummy, Mr. 'Tummy-rium."

He only growled in disbelief.

"A villain was beaten . . . by a little girl."


"W-Well," Miho said afterwards, "Good thing we did not need to pay for the damage."

"Yup!" Yukari cried out, joyful. "All of the vendors who got tricked by his fraudulent yens were merciful."

"And they even gave us more!" Saori moaned, touching her belly. "I just hope I did not gain too much weight."

"Go, on, a, diet," Mako told her.

"You said that again!" Saori roared, and everybody else in the tank laughed. Even Mako giggled, smiling at her friend's antics.

"Oh!" Saori cried out. "Anzu is calling us!"

"Well, well," Anzu called through the radio. "That was some nice defense there, ain't it?"

"Y-Yeah," Miho said. "Actually, even before he did that, I had a gut feeling that something was up."

"Oh!" Hana joined in. "Now that I think about it, you seemed to stay out of Mr. Thorium's eyes. I noticed that you seemed to avoid the man's glances. You were acting shyer than usual."

"Y-Yeah," she admitted. "I guess I went full-defense mode right there."

"Nishizumi-dono," Yukari stated. "Teach us that move!"

"Huh?"

"Yeah!" Anzu called out through the radio. "Teach us that! Then someone as small as me can put up a good fight! That chop of yours nailed that villain through the neck!"

"Well," Miho thought for a while. "L-Let me think about it. Maybe I can invite you all to my apartment."

"Yay!" Anzu screamed through the radio. "See you later, alligator!"

"A-After a while, crocodile!" Miho answered.

"So now," Yukari stated. "What's next?"

Their tank was taking a detour, because the main road back to Oarai was suffering from a congestion. Mako checked the GPS, and told Miho that they could take a detour. Miho decided to agree, and the whole team was going through a little-used road. Fresh green grasses were starting to replace the dusty tracks of the road.

"Back to my apartment?" asked Miho.

"Yeah!" Yukari cried out. "Nishizumi-dono's own personal training regimen!"

"Uh-oh," Miho said, twitching.

"Miporin?" Saori noted. "Are you feeling it, again?"

"Y-Yeah," she admitted. "W-We're on a detour, taking a rural road, right?"

"Right," Mako said quietly.

"Who-who could it be?" Saori shivered, even though it was 1:00PM.

"Get ready!" Yukari cried out. "Ready your aim for the next bad guy!"

"Yukarin!" Saori yelled. "This is countryside, not war!"

"Oh!" Miho cried out, pointing at something in the distance. "That's it!"

They stared at it, or them. Three of them stood in the distance, staring back.

"What are those?" Miho asked.

They were unlike anything they had ever seen before.

"Are they aliens?" Saori asked.

"They look like yellow pills," Hana remarked.

"Living yokai?" Yukari pondered. "With blue overalls and goggles?"

"D-Don't say that!" Mako trembled, for she hated the idea of ghosts.

"Miporin?" Saori asked. "S-Stop coming out!"

Miho stood out of the cockpit, watching the three mysterious figures in the distance.

"H-Hello?" Miho called out to them.

The three stared back at them. They said something.

"What are they saying?" asked Saori.

"Gibberish?" Yukari theorized.

"Plain nonsense," Mako stated. "They're speaking a combination of English, Spanish, and some Japanese."

"Wow!" Hana commented. "You sure know languages, too. You are quite smart."

"H-Hello!" Miho repeated her greeting. "Who are you?"

The three stared back at them. They waved. The girls slowly waved back.

"Oh!" Yukari moaned. "I am hungry again! Let me take out the fruit that one of the vendors gave me."

"An exotic fruit?" Saori asked.

"Yup," Yukari answered. "A fruit that is considered to 'big' to be a snack."

She took it out, in plain view of everyone.

Suddenly, they heard it loud and clear. The three "things" stared at Yukari's fruit, drooling visibly. Then, they said one word:

"Banana."


Well, well. That last bit is a subtle spoiler. This is actually my very first fanfic officially published on any website, ever! Actually, my first exposure to fanfiction was not due to Girls und Panzer, but Despicable Me! Yes, you heard it right! That "cliffhanger" ending is a foreshadowing of my next project: a crossover of Despicable Me and Girls und Panzer! Yippy! Please review my story, and favorite me as "Favorite Author" for the next potential story ahead. Happy New Year!