Stolen Kisses

"A legal kiss is never as good as a stolen one."
Guy de Maupassant

As I walked silently down the dark halls of the estate late that night, I couldn't help but feel exited. We had been sneaking around for so many weeks now, and never had the chance to be together, just us. Undisturbed. We always had to be careful and as discrete as possible, just in case somebody would pass by. It was tiring, but in a sense, I liked it. Though I knew no good would come of it, the sneaking around was appealing. As stupid as it may sound. It made our time together that much more special. Because we knew we didn't have much opportunities, we cherished it when we had the chance to meet, to touch, to kiss, to hold each other, if only just for a moment.

He had been sitting next to me earlier that evening during dinner, softly caressing my hand with his fingers under the table when I realized I could no longer continue with the superficial touches we shared. Something heated up inside me as I looked over to him. A passion that almost made me jump him. I had held my breath for a few moments, letting the intense desire for him slowly fade into the background of my mind. I had to keep it together, if only for a few hours. Then we would finally be together again, without the restraints of the people around us. We had been discussing the usual things together, how things were going at Highever, what the rest of my family was up to and other things that no longer held meaning for me since I came here. This was our usual reason for sitting next to each other during meals, as far as the others were concerned. We would not have many other opportunities to talk, aside from the occasional meetings in the hallways and the gardens, unless I went to visit him in his quarters, but that was obviously not appropriate for a Lady like me.

We had finished our dinner, taking the usual extra time to do so, talking with each other until dusk had began to settle in. This was normal for us, as I held great interest for my family and my homeland, and missed them dearly. So it hadn't ever seemed odd that I liked to talk about them with somebody who had met them not so long ago.

Though I loved Rainesfere, I couldn't help but miss Highever. The forever outstretching fields around the wisteria covered estate which smelled like honey and poppies in summer, the woods I so often went to play in with the mabari from the kennel, and my secret passage in the castle which led out to the most beautiful corner of the gardens we had. Out of sight from the servants and my family I would go there, alone, to maintain the giant scarlet roses and the rest of the plants and trees. It would calm me down if I had been having a quarrel with my parents or with one of my tutors, or if I had a dreadful nightmare. My own secret place on the castle grounds was what I missed the most. A place simply for me, and nobody else.

I had never had a single moment of solitude in my time here, except for the highly rare moments the servants would have something more important and urgent to do than clean my room or waiting for me to give them orders. I was starting to get annoyed with the zealous elves, for I knew they did not enjoy their jobs. I wondered why they would fake all of their obedience and pleasantries if they hated humans so. Why would they work for us in the first place?

The memory of the overzealous elves snapped me back to the present, along with a feeling of fear to be discovered as the servants had eyes and ears everywhere. And if one were to find out what I was doing so late at night at an entire other side of the castle from where my quarters were, he or she would not hesitate to betray me for a bonus on his or her next paycheck, since I had no real power in the castle and thus, they were not intimidated by me. Even with my noble status.

But the elves would not find me, for I had memorized the layout of the halls in the castle to the best of my ability, avoiding the servants quarters by taking a major detour through the armory and the training grounds. I found myself in one of the rooms the soldiers and knights of Rainesfere used for combat training, when I felt my memories of the map I had so closely studied earlier that evening were slowly fading in the dark.

The room was half-lit by a few torches along the walls, which were keeping me from complete oblivion. It was filled with all sorts of training devices; I spotted a few wooden dummies covered in splinters probably caused by the countless swords fighting them over the years and some wooden contraptions which I had never seen before.

I made my way along the thick stone walls to the far side of the large room. Luckily, there was only one door, so I didn't have to worry about taking the wrong path to my destination.

Shivering with the cold of the lower class levels of the castle, I slowly opened the massive mahogany door while listening for any guards on their nightly patrol. I stuck my head out the small space between the wall and the door to get a better view of the long hall. I saw a sleeping guard on a chair by a door, probably to one of the treasuries, not too far away.

I silently praised Andraste while I soundlessly slipped out the door into the cold hall. I passed the sleeping guard without a sound an I knew I was getting closer. I remembered from the castle charts that there was a shortcut near this hall wich would allow me to access the stairs to the guest quarters the servants and guards always used. But where? I frantically searched my memories for the image of this passageway on the map, but I could not reach it. It had already been shoved too deep into a dark, untouchable corner of my mind.

I was lost.

I let out a swirl of profanities in my mind when I realized I had to guess where to go next. As the future Lady of the house I only came to this part of the castle for special meetings with soldiers and knights, to watch them duel or go to other events that could only be done here. Which was not that often. I tried to remember the last time I was here, a few weeks back, when a few knights of Highever came back with my mabari. I had been so delighted with his return that I did not pay any attention to my surroundings.

My head snapped up when I suddenly heard male voices in the distance, coming from behind me, around one of the corners. My mind was quickly pulled back out of reminiscing as it began to focus on where to hide. I had barely passed the sleeping guard behind me, so if the approaching voices would not see me, they would surely wake him up and he would see me. My body tensed as I looked around for a place to hide, my eyes searching the long hallway for a secluded spot. Nothing.

I quickly ran forward, through the hall, still making no sound, and slipped around the corner. Three doors lined up on the other side of the passageway, and with the voices coming closer by the second, I decided it was all or nothing. I quickly ran to the door farthest away from me, almost at the end of the hall. I slowly opened it without a sound and hid in the almost darkness of the small room I was in. I left the door slightly open to see the guards pass from where I had come from half a minute earlier.

When they were out of my sight I let out a deep sigh and slumped to the floor, relaxing as I sat down.

As I turned around, my back to the door, I suddenly realized where I was. I let out a low chuckle, not believing my own luck as I scanned the small room I was in. It had a single torch on the wall and, unbelievably, it was even colder than the rooms I had passed through earlier.

The narrow staircase began a few feet away from me and while climbing I held the torch with one hand and holding on to the wall with the other, afraid to slip on the small steps.

When I reached the top I almost bumped into another door, causing me to flinch and almost stumble back down the stairs. I gripped the wall as well as I could, just barely holding on. I recomposed myself and slowly opened the door to the dark hallway that led to the guest wing. I sighed in relief to see it was completely deserted and started making my way to the guest quarters, where my destination awaited. The hard part was over. I had been here many times, my mother and father had their quarters here when they visited and I usually cleaned them before and after their visits, simply out of boredom.

The guest quarters were usually empty but they had been stacked full for a few months now, something I was eternally grateful for. Otherwise I would not have been here tonight, otherwise I had still been up in my room probably working out a way to escape, to run off to Orlais and never return. Or maybe not. I probably would have stayed, however unhappy it would have made me, and I would have fulfilled my duty.

I wandered through the huge guest wing for a few minutes, letting my guard down while admiring the beautiful paintings and decorations along the walls while putting the torch I was still holding back into a large torch holder on the wall.

There it was. A thick mahogany door on the left side of the hallway with a torch on either side, both unlit. I quickened my pace and I felt my heartbeat do the same as I came closer and closer to the moment I had been so desperately longing for for the past few weeks.

I was almost there and was beginning to reach out to knock on the door when I suddenly felt two sturdy hands gripping me around the waist from behind and pulling me close to the warm body that was attached to them.

"Maker's breath, look what we have here." A husky voice whispered in my ear. "My Lady Cousland, did you know that it is highly dangerous to wander about the castle so late at night?"