Authors note: Don't own anything but the random men scattered throughout the chapter.

Rating-M : Mostly for cursing, I curse like a sailor and so does Emma.

Pairing- SwanQueen, but it'll be a slow burn kind of story. You got to work for the real romance. Unfortunate hetro sprinkled around.

Completely AU story, meaning no fairy tale stuff. This is a first for me, I rarely even read AU's like this, but the idea got stuck in my head and wouldn't leave me alone. Hope you enjoy it, I'll definitely be writing a couple more chapters regardless, but I'd love to know if this story is actually interesting to anyone besides me.

Every morning was exactly the same. The same loud disturbing beeps that awoke her from her dreamless slumber. She never hit the snooze button, it was pointless anyway. She had bought this apartment for its view, and the view came with the sunrise through her bedroom. It would've been a beautiful sight to wake up to everyday, if she actually stopped and noticed.

Which she never did.

It was the same morning routine filled with only making her side of the bed, the other side was rarely touched, and every morning she would look in the mirror and tell herself the same thing.

"This isn't unhappiness. Your life is complete. You are Regina Mills, Chief Editor and you hold people dreams in your hands every day."

She was already on her phone before making her way to her coffee maker. Her assistant often needed to be reminded of her duties early in the morning. And in the afternoon. As well as evening time.

She honestly didn't know why she didn't fire her and get a new assistant. Probably because she had already gone through 13 before found one that could make a decent cup of coffee.

Coffee in the publishing world was akin to nectar from the gods.

'Make sure I have my coffee on my desk before I'm in. Also I need the manuscript from Elliot first thing.'

She laid her phone down and went about making her first cup for the day. She was trying to do better about constantly texting her assistants, it seemed to be one of their driving reasons to quit, but when she hadn't gotten a response by time the drip started she was growing impatient.

'Remember to get the extra shot of cappuccino and NO caramel! I could taste it all day on Friday'

She huffed out a sigh while pouring the coffee and grabbing her bag, triple checking to make sure everything was in place. It was an occasional occurrence that she would forget an important paper to finish a deal or the middle piece to a manuscript she had to finish. She always just sent her assistant to come by and grab it.

When she had climbed into her car and still hadn't received confirmation on her morning order, she was passed irritated, more like climbing towards enraged.

"Final msg. If coffee isn't there than you are fired.'

She wouldn't actually fire the poor girl, no one else could make the office coffee machine spit out anything besides sludge. But hopefully it would kick her ass out of whatever one night stand she had accumulated this weekend.

Her assistant had also gained a slight reputation in the three months she had been there. Several of the lower ranking office employees had seen her out a couple weekends in a row at select bars, coming in alone, but never leaving alone. At least that was the gossip, and now the men that frequented her office floor had tripled in the last month.

Honestly, Regina didn't understand it. The girl wasn't even that pretty. A blonde bimbo who could take orders about as well as a trained monkey.

Whatever it was about her, at least Regina always got her mail in a timely manner now days.

She had barely plugged her blu-tooth in when it was already buzzing. Regina knew who it was without even glancing. It was always the same person.

"Mark. Yes I am on my way now. No I did not finish that last crap you sent to me. I'm done reading about fucking vampires already. If you send one more thing that has a fang in it I will make sure it's covered in your blood before you can lift your ass out of that cushy seat of yours. Yes, yes I'll tell her."

She had already hung up before he could start his argument about whatever else they were surely going to fight about today. She really had no idea how he had gotten to be an editor. He had no imagination. Always looking at ideas that had flown by lightyears ago.

As soon as she had hit a red light she was already grabbing for her phone, praying for a message.

None. A terrifying growl escaped as she started smashing the buttons, and in a hurry before the light turned green.

' I need a bagel w sessamme seeds and cram chess. Get mark his usual as well feel free to spit in it'

'don't forget dry cleaning 111am'

'Also Pongo needs vet at 2'

'You better be in my office before I get there'

Regina was so busy digitally making up orders for her idiot assistant that she didn't notice the flashing red and blue lights for a block.

"Well shit."

On the other side of the city another women was getting a different kind of awakening.

"Oh fuck yeah baby! You sure know how to wake a fella up!" The man had woken up from a particularly unbelievable dream of taking some blonde chicky home when he woke up to said blonde hair waking him up in several different parts of his body.

The women was enjoying herself, losing herself in her weekend of fun and trying to forget it was Monday once again. That is, until the alarm went off.

'I like big butts and I can't lie, you other brothers might deny…'

"The fuck is that song coming from?!" The blonde had come up for air when, what she considered the more horrendous song to ever be created, came assaulting her good mood.

"Ah naw baby, just the alarm. No worries just keep workin' that magic and nothing else matters." The man was not about to let anything ruin his so far great morning.

She was about to do as requested, but took a second to glance alarm clock. "Shit! Its eight already! Fucking shit fuck I gotta go, like 30 minutes ago."

Her boss was a huge pain in the ass and liked her assistant to be in the office before her. That rarely actually happened, but it didn't stop her from calling and texting her at all times anyway.

She was already half way out of the bed before the man had already grabbed and spun her so she was trapped underneath. She wasn't complaining about the position, but she really needed this job.

"Come on baby, don't be like that. We still got to get to know each other." The man had impressive hands, that was a definite plus. But she was starting to wonder exactly how drunk she had gotten to go home with this guy last night. He was cute but reeked of stupid. And clingy.

Calculating her possibly exit strategies, she came up with two possible solutions.

1. Waste another half an hour prying herself out of the bed and away from the gorilla, probably involving another blowjob.

Or

2. The sneaky and slightly bitchy way.

Eh, she never planned on seeing the guy again so it didn't really matter. "You're right, you really haven't gotten to know anything about me yet have you?" All she really had to do was smile and flutter her eyelashes and the guy was putty in her hands. Pathetic really.

She flipped him over and kept talking and touching with one hand, anything to keep him distracted from what she was grabbing with the other. She had noticed the scarves around the bedposts the night before, but she hadn't thought about it then. The woman liked trust in a lover before restricting herself. There was nothing in her mind against tying up the other person however.

"I mean, you didn't even ask my name. But to be fair, I didn't ask yours either. I didn't really care. You looked like you could lift me up against a wall so you seemed like good game." She had tied one of his hands up by this point, and the man had noticed. But if the poking against her thigh meant anything, he was just getting more of a kick out of it.

"Well, my name is Emma fuckhead. Another thing to know about me is, when I say something. I mean it. And I said I have to go. I hate my job with the passion a thousand suns, but I like the money. So, I'm going to leave you here, and hopefully you can figure a way out." She patted his chest in a friendly manner and hopped off, collecting her garments from various places around the studio apartment.

"Hey! Hey bitch you can't just leave me here like this! I gotta job too ya know!" He was already shaking his fists against the bedpost, and with the screaming he was looking more and more like an ape. He was even turning a slight purplish color, much to Emma's amusement. "You fuckin' little whore! Don't leave me here like this! It's humiliatin!"

Emma had been ignoring his rant while she gathered her clothes and finally found her phone, expecting and getting multiple texts from the real bitch in her life.

'Make sure I have my coffee on my desk before I'm in. Also I need the manuscript from Elliot first thing.'

Yes, yes she knew the drill. And Elliot never even came in until around noon so that was pointless.

'Remember to get the extra shot of cappuccino and NO caramel! I could taste it all day on Friday'

If she had to hear one more goddamn time about the stupid caramel, that she had asked for in the first fucking place, she would find a huge vat of the shit and see how her majesty would like to go swimming.

Between the ass in the sheets and the bitch on her phone, Emma was in full rage mode before she had even found her last shoe.

"You know, I was going to be nice and leave you your phone so you could call one of your buddies up. But, seeing as I really don't like being called a whore, or a bitch for that matter. No phone for you. Oh and I spent my childhood on a boat, I'm a bit of an expert on knots. Good luck fuck face." And with that she slammed the front door and practically killed herself trying to get down the stairs. Of course the shitty apartment building with six floors couldn't have an elevator.

The blonde was walking and trying to catch a taxi when her phone buzzed once again.

"Final msg. If coffee isn't there than you are fired.'

She had finally gotten a cabbies attention, but she had been laughing so hysterically when he pulled up that he drove away faster than she seen one ever drive, which is really saying something.

She couldn't really find it in herself to care about the lost taxi, or the fact that she was going to have to find some way to make this outfit look presentable at work. She knew without a doubt she wasn't getting fired. For the biggest publishing company in Boston, it really hired a bunch of morons. None of them could figure out the coffee machine. They had all treated her like a queen the day she started and had gotten something other than sewage to come out of it. She was also laughing because she knew there was no way this was the final message.

Laughter was also her only tie left to sanity. Regina Mills was most likely going to be the death of her. Emma was already working on a sure fire way to haunt the bitch if she died.

It's not that she didn't like Regina. Emma hated her. She hated working for her and hated her as an actual human being.

It was no wonder so many assistants had quit before her. The one and only reason Emma hadn't was because she needed this job more than she would ever let her boss know.

Ever since Emma was a child she was obsessed with fairy tales. She made her mother read her one at least every night, and if it was her father tucking her in, definitely at least two stories. As she got older the obsession never really waned, but grew along with her imagination. She would twist the stories in every which way. Make the princesses into princes, or the evil queen was really the good fairy under a curse. Anything her mind could conjure up and she would write it all down on the nearest surface.

Now, at the age of 28 she had written a full book about all the things she had dreamed of. Hoping a fools hope that maybe they could be the new fairytales that parents would read to their children one night.

But that dream wouldn't happen unless she got published. Thus, her nightmare began. She knew if she worked there a year, she could build up enough trust with one of the editors (not Regina) and she'd have her shot.

If only she could survive it first.

Emma had just left the cafe, juggling a whole crate of bagels and four coffees. It was all so precariously placed that it would only need a small gust of wind to send the dominos tumbling down. Thank god it wasn't a windy day. Unfortunately it just took four instantaneous buzzes of her cellphone placed carefully between the coffees, to make everything shatter around her, and onto her.

'I need a bagel w sessamme seeds and cram chess. Get mark his usual as well feel free to spit in it'

'don't forget dry cleaning 111am'

'Also Pongo needs vet at 2'

'You better be in office before me'

She would have laughed at her bosses usually anal retentive spelling habits gone awry, if she wasn't screaming from the scalding coffee currently ruining everything she was wearing.

"Oh shit Emma! Girl you alright?!" She had been close enough to her building that that guards had seen her and her flying merchandise. She would've been self-conscience about it, but they had seen her in similar positions running errands before.

Anthony, the 30-something-year-old pudgy security guard who always made sure the run ahead and open the doors for her, came running to her aid first.

When he finally reached her he thought she was talking to him until he heard 'fucking bitch is going to be the death of me and my closet'. He couldn't help but smile as he helped the poor girl up, he had seen this situation too many times to count before, but Emma was by far the only assistant that had put up with Regina's crazy requests this long.

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine Tony, thanks. Do you know if she's here yet? I gotta run back to the café and refill these orders." She was already checking the time and trying to wipe off whatever coffee she could with her hand.

"No the fire breather hasn't come in yet, but I'm sure she'll be here any minute." He was already looking up and down the block as if he expected her to jump out of a bush any second. "Okay here's the plan. I'm going to go get the coffee, you are going to go upstairs and find the nearest girl. I know you guys gotta carry extra outfits around right? Flutter them pretty eyes till you find one and I'll meet you back here in ten minutes okay?"

If she wasn't soaked from head to toe and hadn't even brushed her teeth yet, she would have kissed the man. Sometimes her job wasn't all bad, at least other people realized that her boss was literally insane.

She did give him a big smile that reached up and past her eyes, one that Tony hadn't gotten to see very often after her first week here. He tried to do what he could for the girl, he really liked that smile.

"Thanks Tony, you really are my favorite person, you know that?" She was already running up the stairs and pulling out her ID card, hoping beyond hope that the security guard hadn't been wrong about an extra outfit lying around.

Ten minutes later Tony was sprinting up the stairs to get to the Chief Editor office when he saw Ms. Mill's car pull up front.

Well at least I got here before she did, barely. He thought to himself with a chuckle as he bounded up the last flight, happy that this would hopefully win him a couple more points in the blondes' book.

When walked into the office however, he wasn't sure he'd be seeing her around the office too much longer.

"Are you…woman are you wearing clothes out her Regina Mills office closet! Are you fucking insane!" Tony had already shut the office door and was placing the coffees on the desk, but eyes never leaving Emma. She just stood in the middle of the room looking panicked and mischievous all together.

"It was the only clothes I could find! Apparently you know about as much about women as I do, none of the girls here have anything but extra underwear stuffed in their purses." Her voice had lifted to having a certain shrieking tone and he knew she was about to become even more of a mess. "I mean she would have killed me if I came in wearing, not only last night's clothes, but stained last night's clothes? Fuck no she wouldn't fire me, but she would never let me live it down. I'd just be a stupid slut to her and I am trying to gain maybe an ounce of her respect.

"Alright, alright girl, I get it. Alright we are just gonna move past this, and you are gonna pull yourself together because fire breather is probably on the elevator right about now." It was amazing how fast Emma sobered herself up at those words. She was instantly professional, spreading the breakfast out and zooming around the office to do her duties before he could even reach the stairs. Tony sent up a prayer to every god he had ever heard of that Regina didn't pay too much attention to Emma, or her closet.

Regina already knew today was shaping up to be one of the worst. A ticket for texting? Regina was positive she had never heard of a more idiotic law in her life. To make everything even worse her idiot underling had never contacted her back.

At least she could always expect things to be in order when she walked into her building. The security would always hold open the doors for her, looking straight ahead, never looking her in the eyes. As she walked to the elevators, available to only to the higher ranking employees, who had been occupying them would quickly jump out in favor for the stairs. Regina Mills does not share an elevator.

It was these little things that she had always counted on. As she gracefully stomped her way towards her office, she knew the last morning ritual she always expected would not be there. Her morning coffee, from her favorite place, sitting on her desk just waiting for her.

When she reached her destination, already preparing to make the necessary arrangements to start looking for a new lackey, she got a pleasant surprise.

Her coffee, on her desk. And her assistant standing at the ready, the little idiot was even dressed in fashionable clothes for the first time since she met her.

"Miss Swan." Regina inclined her head towards her while she settled herself at the desk. It was probably the nicest greeting she had given the woman since starting. She usually either just ignored her or immediately started commanding orders.

Emma, on the other hand, was incensed. She knew she shouldn't be. Shouldn't have expected anything even remotely close to a 'thank you' or 'good job'. Only actual human beings used such words right?

The blonde was standing around, waiting for the idiot who hold onto to the to-be read manuscripts to finally drag his ass to work or for Regina to think up some mediocre task for her to waste her time with. She was starting to space out, thinking up all the different ways she could sabotage her bosses desk when she felt someone staring at her. Emma glanced up only to see Regina quickly look back at the screen, a thoughtful look on her face.

Regina, while reading through her emails had begun to wonder about her employees outfit for the day. It was actually something she would wear, which disturbed her more than she'd like. She and this blonde bimbo had less than nothing in common.

After getting caught staring at the woman multiple times she was starting reach a conclusion she was most unhappy with. "Miss Swan, I must say your choice attire today surprised me. You actually look like you could belong in this building for once." Regina hadn't even taken her eyes off the screen while delivering the remark.

The blonde jumped about two feet in the air when she first spoke, and her eyes looked like giant saucers by the time she had finished her sentence. Just as she had expected.

"Tell me, where did you find such a complimentary blouse? That shade of green is a hard one to find. It really brings out your eyes." Well she hadn't meant to say that last part. It did bring out her eyes, however. Regina had never actually noticed they were such a vibrant green before.

"Such a dull eye color must be so difficult to compliment." There. She fixed that. Regina Mills was not known to give compliments freely and she wasn't about to start today.

The woman wasn't answering however. Just standing there gaping at her like a fish, bug eyed and all. It looked ridiculous and Regina would have taken a picture if she was that type of person.

"Well? Are you just going to stand there like an idiot all day or are you going to answer me? Where. Did. You. Get. The shirt?"

Emma was in complete freak out mode. She knew. Without a doubt, Regina knew where the shirt had come from. She was just playing with her now. She was like cat, a mean, cruel, feral cat. Emma was the bird, and she was completely caught in the cat's claws.

"I-I um. I got it…Okay Ms. Mills I'll be honest with you. But please hear me out, I had a good reason and-"

"I do not care your reasoning Ms. Swan. The very fact that you felt comfortable enough to barge into my space and steal from me is the last straw-"

"I did not steal from you! I borrowed! I was going-"

At this point Regina was standing over her desk, hands spread and glaring at Emma like she could actually catch on fire. Amidst the screaming both women were participating in, neither noticed Elliot, the always late employee had finally appeared and was watching them like a tennis match, head rocketing back and forth.

"Uhm! Ms. Mills!"

"Oh you don't call what did stealing?! Now I am starting to wonder what else you've-"

"I have never, and would never steal from you! It's obvious you think I'm trash but-"

"Excuse me! Please Ms. Mills!" Poor Elliot and his cries were completely ignored, they didn't even notice the office door was now open and the whole office could hear their growing anger.

"Oh Ms. Swan I do not think you are trash. I know it. You are fired. Don't ever think about stepping into this building again and don't even attempt to apply to another publishing company. You are done." Regina was positively radiating her anger at that point. Her temper was quiet well known throughout the whole building and people knew when to jump to the side if she was in one of her moods. Unfortunately poor Elliot had to talk to her.

Regina hadn't even see the man, almost just ran him over in her hurry to make a dramatic exit from the office. Elliot happened to grab her arm as she passed, and even though he knew he just made a mistake, he summoned up the courage to tell her the message.

The look she sent him was downright chilling. He quickly let her arm go, having heard about past employees who had touched her royal bitchiness. Key word, past employees. " I-I'm so sorry ma'am. Mr. Harvey has requested that you come to his office immediately. He said it was quite urgent." Elliot was sweating at this point, his fluffy ginger hair sticking to his forehead and glasses slipping down his nose.

Regina didn't say a word, but made a sharp left and stalked her way to her boss's office. The only person that made even herself a little jittery. Just a little.

Once she was gone out of sight, Elliot finally turned his eyes toward Emma. The girl he had hoped would last this time. He had thought she was beautiful ever since her first day here. He knew he had no chance, but that had never stopped him from frequenting the bars he heard she went to on the weekends, hoping that maybe beer goggles would somehow make his ginger afro a tad more appealing.

The woman looked so down cast however, just staring at the floor not moving. She hadn't moved since Regina had said the fateful words. Elliot started across the room; maybe give her a pat on the back and a shoulder to cry on. But before he could even move two feet her whole persona changed from downcast to fury.

The blonde started a flurry across the room gathering all the little things she had accumulated in her short stay in the office. He couldn't understand everything she was muttering, but he was sure he heard 'keeping the fucking clothes now' which amused him enough to make him laugh, finally causing Emma to notice his presence as well.

"Oh, hey Elliot. I'm sorry you had to witness that. She just gets under my skin so bad ya know? If she would've just let me explain. But no fucking way. Nope. Of course she knows all; she knows everyone's life, but her own. That is one uptight lonely bitch. I mean really, maybe if she just got laid for once in her miserable life things would be different." The blonde just kept going on for awhile and Elliot knew this was her venting all the things she wanted to say to Regina's face.

"Hey, maybe once your done packing your stuff, we can go out and get some drinks. All on me of course. I'm pretty sure you deserve a nice frosty after your day so far." The ginger might not be too experienced, but he knew when he had an opening and he was taking it.

Emma knew the kid had a crush on her. He was cute, kind of sad. But cute. "Elliot, it's not even eleven in the morning." She chuckled at him. "However, I think the day you get fired is always a good day to use the phrase 'It's five somewhere in the world'. Okay, let's meet at Jacks in about an hour? I'm holding you on your offer to pay by the way." This might be a horrible day, and he might not been on her top 50 of people to go out with, but she really wanted that beer.

Regina had been sitting in this office for over five minutes. Five minutes of complete silence while Charles Harvey, CEO of Fire & Ice Publishing, continued to write some stupid letter. He hadn't even looked up when she walked into the room. Just gestured for her to sit. She hated be treated like she wasn't important to this company, like her time was valuable. And to be honest just sitting her was making her brood. Brood and contemplate her encounter with her now ex assistant.

Should she have let the woman explain? Most people probably would've. But Regina wasn't just anyone. You either bent under her command or you broke. Simple as that.

It was going to be a bitch to find a new assistant. Just as she started filing away criteria's she would be looking for, Mr. Harvey finally graced her with his attention.

"Ah! Regina, thank you for coming and being so patient. This newest author we just signed seems to think he's the new Stephen King. Hasn't even released his first book and already making demands. When will people learn, you must fight to get what you deserve, am I right?" He had steepled his fingers under his chin and looking down at her in a way that, honestly, If he wasn't her boss she would have slapped right off his face. She knew how this game was played however, Harvey was one of those men that loved to hear himself talk. Attempting to say anything was usually a fruitless activity.

"Now, Regina you know that I have been very pleased with your turn out so far this year. Every manuscript you've passed has gone on to be a bestseller. I wouldn't trade you for any other employee in the city."

Yeah right. Regina thought, if there was even a whisper about me getting ahead of him in this company than I'd be on the street faster than he could twirl his moustache.

"You know, I never knew you were from Canada, Regina. Why have you never said anything? We could have had maple syrup day!" He broke out in a boisterous and obnoxious laugh like he had told the best joke ever heard. The urge to slap the obvious toupee off his head was becoming strong.

"Well, Mr. Harvey as you know I like to keep my life very private. If you recall I haven't much of anything about myself in the ten years I've been here. I like it that way." The brunette had finally been blessed upon to speak to him, but she wasn't sure she liked wherever this conversation was headed.

"Yes, yes private life. That is all very good and understandable. We all like to keep our professional and personal lives separate, do we not? But you see, we have a problem. I received a call just a short time ago, from Immigration. They informed me that an employee of mine was pulled over for a traffic violation this morning, and subsequently they discovered her work visa had been terminated four months ago. Can you take any guess about who this employee could be?" Yup she was going to punch him. What was she, five years old? She hadn't however realized the little fact about her visa. She was sure it had been renewed, but with her job taking up the majority of her life, little things sometimes got forgotten.

"Yes sir, I was completely aware of the situation of course. I have just been in the middle of applying for a marriage visa and everyone's wires must have gotten crossed." Regina had no idea where the lie had come from. She had officially experienced unwanted word vomit for the second time in her life.

"Oh ho ho! You're getting married Regina?! I had no idea, you really do keep your life private don't you!" He didn't even look slightly genuine in his words, and it hadn't escaped her that there were no congratulations. Just utter surprise.

"Well when is the joyous day then? And who is the lucky man who snagged my most mysterious employee?" Now she was screwed. Who the hell was she supposed to be marrying? She didn't see anyone besides her coworkers, any friends she had were the kind you saw once a year, absolutely nothing you could rely on. The person she saw more than anyone was the blonde bimbo.

"Miss Swan. She and I are getting married in a month actually." Well make that three times Regina Mills has experience word vomit.