Coursed
Fire. Hot red flames are burning on Sam's Face. Cold grey eyes are starring at him. They are looking so familiar, so shocked, so dead. The fire become hotter and hotter every second. He want to runaway, he want it to stop, or at least to be able to look away, but he can't. "Jess" he is trying to to whisper but he can only mouth. He is feeling her blood on his forehead which dropped on him just a minute ago. It burns like everything around him.
"Sam" the voice sounds like the fire.
"Sam" and like Jess.
"Sam" and every damn demon or ghost he'd ever hunted.
"Sam! Wake up!"
In one moment to another Sam is fully awake, sitting horizontally and heavily breathing in the car next to his brother looking at him with concern.
"Where are we?" asks Sam, still busy to keep his breath under control.
"Yellowriver, Arizona." Dean answers his little brother, "are you okay?"
Sam's eyes fix the road restless. Himself seems to be far away.
"Sammy!"
The voice of his brother rips him off of his dreams again.
"Yes, I'm fine."
He still looks at the far and dark street ahead. How much he always hoped, to be able to let his old life behind, bring it to an end and make a new Beginning. But now... he sits with his brother in the old Impala again and everything is far more worse than in the past. He's tired. Just tired. Sam has trouble to imagine to be on college, had a girlfriend and a new existence just three weeks ago. Since her death, a black heavy shadow seems to lie upon him and made him feel dull and misted. He wants her to return. That's all he can think of.
Dean hawks to draw attention to himself. Sam turns around. His blank empty gaze meets him. Dean is shocked to see his brother's face like this. He's even more pale then in the noon which made his wound at his temple very obvious. The blood trail reach his chin. Dean clench his hands to fists. Normally, Sam would making jokes about this god damn vampire knocking him down and absorb some of his blood, till Dean finally came and and strike his ugly head off, or leastwise grin at his big brother and ask him if he had to drank these coffee before he decided to help. But that's past. At that time Sammy was just a boy, there wasn't anything between theme neither secrets nor anything else. He was always able to look after him and to prevented him from the evil. He always did. But now this boy is a man with so much pain, Dean isn't able to imagine. He's aware of Sam's nightmares, fears and his grief and wishes he could take the load he's carrying on and on, but he know he can't. All he is capable to do is to help and be there if he need him. If he just wasn't so stubborn!
Dean sighs. "I think it's better to stay over night at a motel, you can better sleep there than in the car."
"If you mean so" Sam mutters.
"God, you look like you were spat!"
"Thanks!"
Dean's try to loosen the mood fails.
"Are you feel dizzy? I mean you've lost much blood."
"No," lie. "I'm okay" another lie.
"And this... nightmare? Which was he about?"
"Do you can't imagine it yourself?" Sam rubs his healthy temple inconspicuous.
"Headache?"
"No."
Dean sighs again, "All right, but if we arrive at the motel I want you to lay down and get some sleep, okay?"
What shall Sam say? I don't want to sleep, because otherwise I will see my dead girlfriend again?
"I think, I've already slept enough. I'll get some coffee and look at the internet for new cases and-"
"No way, Sammy! I know you didn't sleep last night, so I'll pay attention you to sleep this night and no resist talking! I don't want you to collapse!"
"Dean, look, I-"
"Uh uh uh! Don't you dare to say, you're fine, I know you're not!" He interrupts him again and this time Sam don't try to contradict, it wouldn't lead to anything but a fight. Moreover he knows his brother is right.
About an hour later in which silent had reigned, the boys stops the car on a parking spot in front of a little motel. Sam's headache had increased in the meantime as well as the dizziness. It would going to be hard to keep this secret from Dean but he have no other choice. When he get of the car he first have to support to prevent himself from stumble. He squints his eyes a few times, till the vertigo disappear a little. He senses a touch on his arm and a hand holding him in a upright position.
"Come on, Sammy!"
He obeys. Carefully he solves his arm and goes to the building, Dean always next to him. At the reception his brother speaks with the girl behind the counter and Sam sees how she gives him a key for the room. Tomorrow he'll pay with his fake credit card and they would never return.
Dean returns and guides Sam to an old-fashioned arrange but clean room.
Red checkered curtains of heavy stuff cover the windows. The walls were made of dark wood and the as well coloured beds look stable and solid.
"Do you want to be first in bathroom?" Dean asks.
Sam shakes his head a little bit to hard, because a wave of pain drive through his mind. He hides it.
"Well, don't run away. If I'm ready, I will view your wound more precisely and then you have to sleep!"
"It's just a scratch-" Sam try to protest, but his brother isn't listening to him, he turned around and went to the bathroom, already.
"I need some coffee!" he decides and leaves the room quickly. He isn't able to endure this terrible nightmares, wrong, memories one night longer, this pictures of Jess... he should have protected her, but he left and let her alone. That's maybe the worse mistake he'd ever done and Dean... he know his brother loves him, but he can't understand, even if he tries to. Sam is desperate, he's aware of the fact he need to sleep but he can't and he wont. He remembers of an old coffee machine at the reception, so he goes down the corridor.
After he ordered an extra strong coffee he drink him greedily an return to their room. When he enter, he still hear the shower. Relieved he let himself drop on the bed. The caffeine begins to work for his weariness is almost disappear, when Dean come in. He sit up and looks at his brother. In his hand he wears bandages, a flannel and a half full bottle of whiskey. Dean set down next to him and start to clean the spot around the wound carefully with the wet cloth.
"Does that hurt?"
"Just a bit." Sam lies.
Dean looks at his little brother suspiciously but decides to ignore it.
"Clench teeth, Sammy, this is going to be a little bit painful!", he warns.
Sam groans when the whiskey burns on his temple like hell. Just keep breathing!
"Okay, keep calm! I'm going to bandage it. Do you want?" He offers him the bottle.
Sam negates.
"Sure?"
"Pretty sure!", Sam isn't a fan of alcohol in general.
After Dean medicates him, he stands up to go to bathroom. He had only made a few steps when the dizziness comes back and he have to hold on to the door frame to keep himself from stumble. In front of his eyes everything becomes deep black.
He hear the voice of his brother screaming before he pass out.
Dean was jumped up, when he saw his brother falling and ran to him to caught him.
"Sam!" he shouts, "Sammy!"
Damn! He should have paid more attention to his little brother. After all he knew Sam wasn't alright.
He measures the pulse which is weak but present, then he pulls him back on the bed.
It was too much to bear for Sam, Dean knows. The nightmares, the guilts, the sleepless nights and all the things Sam keeps secret from him too are more than enough to knock someone of, so this faintness isn't very surprising.
"Oh Sammy," he sighs "what have you done to yourself?"
He opens Sam's shirt and covers him with a blanket. Gently he puts his head onto the pillow and removes a naughty strand of hair of his closed eyes. There isn't much different moments in which the young man with the sad puppy dog eyes seems so peaceful. Sometimes Dean wonders himself if his family is cursed, they seems to attract the evil downright, but whatever happened by which they deserved this, Sam is completely innocent and it's just unfair he had to pay this depts.
"When you awake again, we will talk about that seriously, little brother! Till then I'll look after you, I promise! Your nightmares wont return this night!"
And Dean knows, he is going to keep this promise, even if that means, to stay awake all night. Nobody would hurt his brother again.