Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters - these were created by Eric Kripke - I'm just borrowing them. I'm not making any commercial gain from this. No harm or infringement intended.
Why Cas kissed Meg… It's *all* about Dean, obviously! Spoilers for 6.10 Caged Heat
There's an incident in 6.10 Caged Heat that I've never really understood – and so I wrote a brief humorous scene to try to explain it away and then promptly forgot about it. Recently I read 'Humans do it Better' by Hattress (to whom I dedicate this) and a couple of days after that my plot bunny 'Frank' from Donnie Darko suddenly appeared, "Sam said Kiss and make up," he announced ominously…
Awkward Angelic Ardor
Castiel is thinking about kissing. Actually, he's thinking about kissing a lot, thanks to a certain Sam Winchester who had previously spent a good forty minutes browbeating him about the breakdown in his friendship with Dean and how they should just 'kiss and make up'.
He suffered a pang of guilt when he recalled the pride he'd felt a couple of months ago telling Sam about the profound bond he and Dean share, although maybe that should be 'shared'. After growing closer to the human than he's ever been to anyone before, even he can sense that they are now drifting apart and he's not so clueless that he doesn't realize that his inability to express himself emotionally is at least partially responsible. As well as… ah well, best not think about that...
Suddenly kissing and making up is all he can think about, as if his brain has latched on to the idea and won't let go for dear life. When he sought out some brotherly advice, Balthazar had informed him of some farfetched human concept called 'sarcasm' and, although he felt fallen for thinking it, Castiel had a suspicion that this might be a form of humor that even the Winchesters used on occasion.
Balthazar had then smirked and muttered "Still, many a true word spoken in jest" which had only confused Castiel even more than he was already. As much as Castiel had initially tolerated the younger Winchester's presence for Dean's benefit alone, only to then genuinely grow to like him, Sam was still a demon-blood tainted abomination, so - in Cas' judgment - probably didn't have a sense of humor anyway.
Actually, in his opinion, both of the Winchesters were a little dour. Now Uriel, there had been one funny angel. Cas' grace glowed softly as he meditated upon the joke that Uriel liked to tell at all the garrison get togethers:
Question: "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?"
Answer: "None, angels smite first and do not dance later!"
Smiting, he realizes, is really the only thing he's ever been any good at (although he still kicks himself for missing the whole Sodom and Gomorrah incident – it's always irritated him that no one talks about his falling wall in Aphek) - kissing is still unexplored territory, it just seems so complicated and unhygienic.
Fortunately the hotel room came fully equipped with a wide range of reproductive training videos. Or 'porn', as Dean liked to call it. Castiel had literally been up all night studying every nuance of the performances.
Still, Cas had his doubts as to the veracity of the content, or maybe, he wonders, he was missing the subtleties of yet another gender role, as he'd noticed that the brothers always ordered take-out, and never ordered in. Still the educational material, while giving him much to think about, was still oddly deficient on the actual mechanics of kissing.
He's nervous that kissing's something he's never done before and that he's not going to be any good at it. He knows from reading Dean's mind that kissing has been on the hunter's mind recently; every time he drops in on the Winchesters he's been aware of Dean staring intently at his lips while thinking "Chap, stick!".
Plus, Castiel realizes, you only have to watch Dean eat a burger to realize the depth of his oral fixation, but he's also clever enough to know that it's also something that Dean doesn't acknowledge verbally.
Ultimately he doesn't want to let Dean down, and that's the main thing. Cas feels a very human and unfamiliar sense of angst. What if I'm not any good at kissing? What if I find that Dean tastes funny and I don't like it, or it's so bad I vomit like the first time I drank a whole pot of coffee in one go? Horror of horrors, what if Dean thinks I taste funny?
Castiel wonders if he should maybe have a practice run to iron out any problems with technique, and it's suddenly all he can think about again, but he's savvy enough to suspect that if he were to try this with anyone in his immediate circle of acquaintances that he might be a little self-conscious.
Then he spies Meg. He knows from reading the Winchester's minds previously that kissing is something that sober they have usually only done with girls. Meg just about passes for female – well, the vessel does anyway. She'd be ideal – as he's sure that if he can kiss her and not gag, then he'll be able to kiss anything. Also, since he's going to double cross the demon anyway, she may as well be of some use before he ganks her.
When Meg leans in and actually kisses him first, it's like a green-light from destiny, and Castiel seizes the moment and roundly kisses her back. He thinks about all the films he's seen recently and robotically attempts to emulate them as if he's reading through a script in his head. Bit more to the left, suck on her bottom lip, now maybe turn my head a little more to the right. It's uncomfortable and the taste if very off-putting, Meg sure has sharp teeth, and she's obviously a big garlic fan, he thinks, as he realizes with disgust that even that isn't quite enough to disguise the vile sulfurous stench of her breath.
Later he realizes that Meg has managed to creep away unseen in all the confusion without him killing her after all. Oops, he thinks, that's going to be awkward.
Now go read 'Humans do it Better' by Hattress (www. fanfiction .net/s/6539122/1/Humans_Do_It_Better) -Remove the spaces
Please review!
Praise Cas! (1 Kings 20:30!)
(;,;)