*Authors note: So I decided to delete this story a few months back thinking I would never right for it again, but I changed my mind. The main reason why I decided to delete it in the first place was because I thought that it was absolute shit! After a couple of mouth I realized that I truly did want to continue this story. Now

Chapter 1

Lydia Moore thought she was dreaming when she turned on the morning news and found out what had happened the night before. On the screen before her was a picture of Gwen Stacy with a banner announcing that she had passed away the previous evening due to an unexpected accident. Once she read what the caption said, Lydia focused all her attention on the words that the news anchor was saying.

"Gwendolyn Stacy former graduate of Midtown High unfortunately passed away last night at the clock tower. Police are being quiet about most of the details for now, but it is believed that Miss Stacy had somehow gotten mixed up in the chaos of the battle between Electro and Spiderman. Police have stated that although in an attempt to save her from her fall Spider-Man had been too late."

"Oh my god," Lydia said placing her bowl of oatmeal on the coffee table. Her appetite was completely gone. This can't be real, was the only thought racing through her head.

Lydia wasn't best friends with Gwen by any means, but she did know her. They had a couple of classes together when they were in high school, and Gwen was always there whenever someone needed help. She was just that kind of person and now that has gotten her killed. She wasn't supposed to die like this. They had just graduated! Gwen had a whole life ahead of her. She was supposed to become an amazing scientist and change the world. Start a family, live a long life, and then pass away at a good old age surrounded by the people that loved her. Not this way. Not at the young age of nineteen when her life had barely begun.

Lydia was so consumed in her own thoughts that she didn't realize they were still talking about Gwen. Unable to bear hearing any more details, Lydia grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. She sat on the couch for a while trying to accept and come to terms with everything that had happened but no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't.

Lydia heard a shuffling in the kitchen that pulled her out of her thoughts. Standing from her place on the couch she grabbed the forgotten bowl of oatmeal that had now congealed to throw away.

As she walked into the kitchen she saw her mom getting ready for work. Undoubtedly her mom had to know what happened considering she worked at a hospital. Lydia's thoughts were confirmed when her mother turned around from the kitchen sink and faced her.

"Oh honey," Julia Morgenstern walked up to her daughter and embraced her. As soon as Lydia felt the safety of her mother's arms, Lydia didn't hesitate and wrapped her own around her mother's small frame.

"Gwen's dead," Lydia said robotically, "she's gone."

A simple statement as if she were commenting on the weather. This doesn't feel real. She still couldn't fully except that this was reality.

"I know honey," Her mother said hugging her harder.

"It doesn't seem real," Lydia stated. Voicing the thoughts or thought rather that had been circling her mind since she heard the news. Yes Lydia was extremely sad, but she couldn't bring herself to cry even though she felt like she should be. Although she knew Gwen she didn't know her well enough to think she had the right to cry.

"You're in shock," Julia said and with one final squeeze she pulled away from her daughter and continued getting ready for work.

"I just can't believe it happened to her," Lydia said uselessly, standing in the middle of the kitchen as her mom shuffled about.

"I know honey. I know. Look I have to get to the hospital, a lot of people got hurt during the attack, and they need as many hands as they can get. I'll try to get home as soon as I can." She said as she grabbed her purse and stethoscope off of the kitchen table.

"How's Kyle?" Lydia asked her mom. Unlike Lydia, Kyle her little brother knew the Stacy's considering he was Howard Stacy's best friend. Also Gwen had tutored Kyle for about six months to help him bring up his math grade. That was when Lydia mostly talked to Gwen. When she was picking Kyle up from his tutoring sessions. In that time Kyle had developed a little school boy crush on her, which Gwen knew about but never made him feel bad about it. She would never do that. Lydia recalled a conversation that they had one time when she was picking up Kyle,

"He's a good kid." Gwen said smiling which Lydia quickly returned.

"Glad you think so! I'm starting to think he likes your family better than his own. He's here all the time. Or maybe it's because he's finally getting some sort of attention from a pretty girl." Lydia smirked as Gwen laughed.

"He's cute, but slightly too young. Not really interested in going down the cougar path just yet. Maybe in a few years." Gwen joked and this time Lydia laughed.

"Hey we should get lunch sometime. If you want to of course." Gwen told Lydia.

"Yeah sometime," Lydia nodded. After a couple more minutes of conversation Lydia and Gwen said their goodbyes. That ended up being the longest conversation she had with Gwen Stacy. Their plans for lunch never happening.

Julia sighed and stared in the direction of Kyle's room. "I don't think he knows yet. He's still asleep." She admitted. A sorrowful expression masked Lydia's face.

"I'll be here," Lydia reassured her mom. Knowing that she was extremely concerned how Kyle would take the news.

"Thank you. Ok sweetheart I really need to get going now I'll be home as soon as I can." Julia said one last time and walked up to her daughter placing a kiss on her forehead before she walked out the front door.

Lydia walked into her room and sat on her bed trying once again to process everything that she had found out in the past fifteen minutes. It was crazy how quickly things can change. It hadn't even been two months since graduation but suddenly now it felt like it had been two years since then.

Not even five minutes after Lydia decided to try and take her mind off it by cleaning her room she heard her phone ring. She walked over to her desk and looked at the caller ID and saw the familiar face of her best friend Mary Jane Watson. With a sigh she swiped open her phone to answer the call.

"Hey MJ," She said into the receiver.

"Have you heard?" MJ asked her.

"Of course I've heard. Who hasn't?" Lydia said as she sat on her bed.

"I can't believe it," MJ stated.

You and me both, Lydia thought.

MJ continued, "First George now Gwen? Oh god and Peter. I can't even imagine what he's feeling!"

"Oh God Peter," Lydia said placing a hand to her forehead. She had forgotten about Peter Parker. Lydia wasn't one to believe in true love, and she hasn't since her Dad left her Mom after Kyle was born, but if true love were real Gwen and Peter were the epitome of it. Everyone could see it. From the way they looked at each other when they thought no one was looking. Hell even when people were looking. The amount of love and devotion that they were able to give each other in one simple look could make anyone envious. It also showed in the way they talked about one another. Gwen and Peter built each other up. They were always there for one another no matter what. By the end of the year some people had started making bets on when the two would get married! Lydia's heart broke slightly knowing that now that idea was only a fantasy.

"Have you seen him at all today?" Lydia asked MJ since she and Peter have been neighbors since they were kids.

"No, but I think I'll try to stop by later and see how he is. If he wants to see anyone." MJ told her.

They talked a bit more, but Lydia ended the conversation as soon as she heard a knock on her bedroom door. There was only one person it could be. She got up and opened the door and was greeted by her brother's grief ridden face. Without any words exchanged she pulled him into a hug. It took him a second to respond but he eventually did. She felt Kyle place his head on her shoulder. Although he was a couple years younger he was already a good four inches taller than her with her being five foot five inches.

"I'm so sorry Kyle." She told him. She felt him nod into her shoulder and after a moment he pulled away.

"Howard called and he asked if I'd go over. I'm going to head out alright." He said.

"Okay," Lydia said with a slight nod. She was a little hesitant to let him go. Lydia was unsure if this was the best idea, but she figured if Howard needed him he should be there.

"I'll be back later," With that Kyle turned and walked towards the front door. Once she heard the door shut she returned to her bed. As she lied there all she could do was wish that this was all just a horrible nightmare and that she would wake up. Deep down though she knew no matter how much she wished it wasn't going to come true.

Gwen's funeral was held a few days later. The last time Lydia was at a funeral she had been eight, and it wasn't nearly as painful as this. Everywhere she looked someone was crying and it wasn't just silent crying either. No, this was the type of crying were your whole body shook from the force of your sobs as if they were trying to rip open your body. Lydia turned her head to the right and glanced over at the rest of Gwen's family. Her three brothers and mother looked so broken. Her heart went out to them. In one year they had lost two members of their family. Kyle was over by Howard's side of course with a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

"This is terrible," Lydia looked over to her left upon hearing her best friends comment. MJ has never been good at dealing with emotions. She can act them out of course with her wanting to pursue an acting career, but actually dealing with them? She avoids it like the plague.

"I know," Lydia replied turning back to face the casket that held Gwen's body. She couldn't look long though. Knowing that Gwen's lifeless body was in there and would soon be underground never to be seen again. She began to scan the rest of the people who attended the funeral. Finally her eyes locked on him, Peter, he looked absolutely defeated. He was just staring at the ground with his head bowed as if he was crying, but with closer inspection Lydia could see he wasn't.

He is probably too stricken by grieve to even cry. Or maybe he has cried so much the past few days he can't even produce more tears even if he tried to. Lydia thought and suddenly she felt the urge to go over there and comfort him. As if Peter felt someone staring at him he raised his head and his brown eyes locked with her blue ones. Lydia wasn't embarrassed that he had caught her staring. She wasn't feeling anything but concern for him. It wasn't like she had other thoughts on her mind and was ogling him. She wouldn't do that considering he just lost the girl he loved. Peter looked at her for a few seconds before resuming the position he was in before. Head bowed and staring at the ground. A moment after Peter looked away Lydia did the same and turned to MJ and asked "Did you see Peter at all?"

She shook her head, "I tried, but his Aunt answered and said that he really wasn't up for any visitors." Lydia nodded her head at that and tried to focus her attention once again on the casket.

The funeral ended with a couple people paying their respects to Gwen. Sharing stories about how she changed them or helped them in some way. Lydia expected Peter to say something, but he didn't.

Kyle was going to go back with the Stacy's and her mom had left a few minutes ago, so there were only a few people left.

"We should get going. We have to finish packing." MJ said lightly touching Lydia's arm to get her attention. She and MJ were going to be leaving for college in a few weeks and they had decided to get a head start on getting everything situated.

Lydia looked over at Peter again. He had his head tilted towards his Aunt as she whispered something in his ear. He slightly nodded at whatever she had said and with one final touch to his arm she turned around and started heading in the direction of the parking lot. When she was gone Peter turned his gaze from the ground and focused on the casket in front of him.

"One second," She told MJ and then made her way over to where Peter was standing. Lydia could faintly hear the beginning of MJ asking her what she was doing, but she ignored her and continued walking towards Peter. When she finally did reach were Peter was standing he didn't even look at her. It was only him and the casket. Lydia stood there awkwardly for a moment to see if he would react, but when he wouldn't she called out his name to try and gain his attention that way.

"Peter?" He looked at her then, but the movement was so slow it was like he was moving through molasses.

"Lydia," He stated. The hurt and sadness that she saw in his eyes practically took her breath away and made her own heart break. Dead man walking, that's all Lydia could think as she stared into his sorrow filled eyes. He looks like a dead man walking.

Something that Lydia has never told anyone, not even MJ was back in elementary school she had a slight crush on Peter Parker. It had eventually faded as she got older, but she still cares about him in a completely platonic way. But just like a first love it's hard to forget your first crush. As time went by that crush turned into a minor friendship. They had been lab partners back in chemistry class sophomore year. He did most of the work, but they became friends then. Not close friends, but friends none the less.

Without fully processing what she was doing Lydia closed the distance between then and wrapped her arms around him and gave him a light squeeze. She could physically feel him stiffen in her arms.

"I'm so sorry, Peter," She told him. He never returned the hug, and she didn't expect him to.

After a couple seconds she pulled away and put some distance between them to give him some space. He just looked at her with his brown eyes full of pain. It took everything in her to not avert her gaze because the grief held in his eyes was so overwhelming. He slightly nodded as a way of acknowledging his thanks at her attempt to comfort him.

"You have people here for you if you need to talk or anything." He nodded again and she knew he was wanting to be alone now, so with one final touch to his arm and a sad smile she turned around and walked back to MJ.

"Ok. We can go now," Lydia said to MJ.

As the girls made their way back home Lydia's mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Peter and how she hoped and prayed that somehow he would be able to move past this.