I write this in the hopes that no one ever lives through the things I do. That humans won't ever have to go through the challenge that one bacteria can cause the whole of humanity.
I hope that none of you will ever have to bare the heavy weight of reality on their heads or have the crushing feeling in their chest whenever they lay down to go to bed.
How did this all start? This whirlwind of terrible events. I'll start with when my brother and sister-in-law moved in. Matthias and his wife, Andrea along with their newborn son, Emil, were having problems at home. At the time, the Danish mafia was becoming out of hand and in fear, fled to live with me, my husband and our two children in Finland.
Around that time, though, there were little snippets of news about it. A few dozen people in South Asia diagnosed with some new sort of disease. Nothing serious at the time, just some unknown substance being found during checkups in the country. Everyone shrugged it off.
Life was at such a peaceful existence with the children playing outside and my brother making goo-goo eyes at his newborn in the living room while his wife had a small smile on her face, her blue eyes dancing in delight she never showed otherwise.
Peaceful life. Peaceful existence. Happiness every day for what we believed to be forever. But things have a funny way of sneaking up on you and stealing everything away.
It was that day, I was in the kitchen baking something sweet for everyone, Andrea playing with little Emil sitting on her lap. The boys were playing outside and the husbands out in the living room watching the news in wait for the football scores to come up.
"It's been confirmed that, due to the mystery pathogen discovered in South East Asia this month, four Laotians lays dead." My head picked up, hearing this. "Many world powers are working towards a cure before this disease takes any more lives."
I didn't feel very easy about hearing this. My brother was complaining,"yeah yeah yeah! But where are the football scores already!?" How could anyone have taken this so lightly.
That night, I told my husband about my tensed nerves. He held me close, pressing a kiss to my forehead and taking his glasses off. "Don't worry about it. It's all going to be okay."
It wouldn't. I knew it wouldn't.
A month later, hundreds were dead, thousands in that area infected with the mystery disease. I watched at any chance I could but with three young children in the house and two men, I couldn't get it as often as I would've liked.
This next new report was worse. All of us were huddled in the living room watching a movie, the night still young and the sun not set yet. The screen went blank and while Matthias went up to fix it, an emergency broadcast came on. And I felt the whole world vanish from around me.
"The mystery disease in Laos is now spreading. This is a deadly string of bacteria and in most cases have killed people in the span of a week. It's gone to Indonesia, Vietnam and other surrounding areas. And if it continues, it will hit heavily populated areas such as China, Japan and Russia." The reported paused, wiping his brow. "If you are going into this area, be advised."
Berwald held me as I shook and scanned around the silent room. "Andrea, can you bring the kids upstairs. We'll calm Taru down." She nodded emotionless, holding her own child while escorting my own. My brother sat in front of me, brushing my short blond hair carefully,"Taru, it'll be okay. None of us are going to Asia, right? We won't have to worry about it."
Berwald nodded, kissing my forehead gently and holding my close in his arms. It didn't help. Because I knew it would get bad very soon and my predictions would end up being right. The disease then spread to India. Then to China. And someone ended up flying home with the disease without knowing it. It was found in Europe. The United Kingdom of Britain and Ireland became infected.
"It has been reported that this new mystery disease has made it's way to Europe." The broadcaster said in a calm and collected voice. "A disclosed person was found dead in their home this afternoon and, upon his autopsy, was carrying the disease. We will have more on this story in an hour."
I wanted to cry and scream. But I had to stay composed for the sake of my own children. If their mother was going out of her mind, they'd be the next to panic. That's the last thing we needed to happen in this time of crisis. There was no assurance that it wouldn't come and everyone was put on high advisory for the strain.
Governments around Europe issued a state of emergency and word was that the Untied States was now helping to find a cure as quickly as possible. But the uneasy feeling never ceased to leave me. The disease continued spreading into Asia and it was only a matter of time before it would go around Europe.
News came in that the disease had spread to Russia a few weeks later. I left my family alone in the living room to go into my bedroom and stare at the ceiling as if it could tell me the answers. Russia. It was so close to where we sat now. All happy and calm.
Land borders shut down in some regions, including Russia and some Western European countries to hopefully keep the disease from coming into it. But areas unprotected, unbeknownst across the water began getting the same illness as well. Australia. New Zealand and even areas close to Africa became new sources of life for the unnamed killer. Millions were dying or dead. The fear gripped onto me and held me tight.
I spoke a few times to Berwald about what we were to do. Seeing as how North America has been untouched by any disease, I suggested we go there, to the furthest reaches of the world if we had to just to keep away until some sort of cure was found.
My brother agreed and decided to go home. He needed to get the money he had saved and help get everyone to a safe distance from whatever was coming to us.
Andrea didn't want him to go, dead set about letting him leave this place of safety. But in the end, he had convinced her that they needed any money they could scrape up and get somewhere safe for everyone to live in.
"Mama?" Peter, my youngest son, piped up when he noticed his uncle getting packed to leave. "What's gunna happen to uncle Matthias?"
"He'll be alright." I calmly spoke, lifting the boy in my arms. "But I want you and Landon to stay inside from now on. It's not that fresh air isn't good, we've just got to stay inside as much as we can from now on."
As Matthias left, Andrea placed a soft kiss on his lips, hating to see him part. "I want you to come back safe. Go home, get the money, come back to me and Emil please."
He chuckled, patting her platinum-blond head softly and running his fingers down her long hair. His lips brushed the tips and a smile came on his face. "I will, don't you worry about me."
She made him wait, picking up Emil and handing him over to her husband to cradle. "I'll be back soon too bud. You hear? Your old man is tough. Besides, I need to teach you how to play football when you get older."
Absentmindedly, I took pictures of the young family together before Matthias left. Maybe one of the best decisions I've ever made too. He kissed Andrea and Emil once more before hugging me goodbye and giving Berwald a handshake.
After the mess was sorted out, we had found out what happened. The land borders shut and he was forced in his home. He had caught the disease but someone actually came into their home and beat the living day lights out of him. He didn't even have a funeral. There was no body for he was cremated in a dirt pit with the others who died of illness. Andrea didn't show like to show it but the devastation left her depressed for months.
It didn't matter anymore. Soon after he left, the headline was that the disease made landfall in South America and could quickly rip it's way up to the US and Canada. But the bigger news came days after that.
One dead due to mystery disease in France. A wide flurry of panic went around the countries and all land borders were closed down. We were now stuck in Finland whether we wanted to be or not. Still, life went on. Emil celebrated his first birthday without his father and we soon realized that he would want to be there. He called us so he could speak with his son before the lines went dead.
Everything began taking its toll. The world economy was slowing. Food was growing hard to find and many people lay dead not to far off from us. Russia was burning the bodies of the dead and many counties followed in this persist to rid the world of this disease.
It spread quickly, it being highly contagious and suddenly, my heart stopped. Norway. It was so close to home that it was bordering us closer than Russia ever would. People were dying and there wasn't anything anyone could do to slow down the rate.
We spent our days watching TV, trying to keep up on what was going on in the world. Millions dead. More dying. As if half the world was already gone and number climbing every single day. I let my boys sleep with me at night, wishing every day that there would be a cure found.
All of us tried to continue with the highest of hopes. I wanted my children to be with us every single day for as long as possible. Never wanting to hear the day when we were finally taken over by disease.
With a heavy heart, I lifted myself out of bed each day, brushing my son's blond hair and dressing the other to keep them from being lazy. And on any day the same as the other, I came downstairs to see my husband comforting Andrea who was weakly crying into his shoulder. He heard me and looked up with crestfallen eyes and that's when I knew.
"Two people have been confirmed to have the mystery disease in Finland. All people in this country are advised to stay indoors and use masks when going outside." My heart felt like a weight hearing this. It had finally come to our country. At this point, we were trapped.
Emil began crying upstairs and I emptily went up and rocked him, feeling completely blank. There was no hope for us anymore. It was almost as if everyone was sentenced to death.
Days upon days went by and news came and went about how so and so had gotten sick and died. Neighbors, family, everything was beginning to slip through our fingers.
I stayed curled up against Berwald most of the time and, without her husband there to comfort her, Andrea. Each and every one of us did their best to comfort her in her time of need. She wasn't blood-related but we loved her as if she were our sister. We wouldn't let her feel fear alone either.
There were entire countries in Asia which had been completely killed off. Governments were falling in much needed areas and the world began to unravel at the seams. It was a mad world, but it was the only place that we knew.
A few weeks passed by with no big catastrophe. Until one day we heard the news announce a breakthrough in cure research. A little light shone through the darkness and we all decided we had to do what we could to help.
That night, we drove to the hospital. They were looking for clean blood, fresh, pure blood from anyone. So the entire family (minus Emil) all had their blood taken to be tested. What a long, endless night. The worst night of my life.
We stood for most of it, cramped up against other patients waiting to do the same. Not much happened, we waited around and hoped for the best to come back to everyone. Landon and Peter ended up asleep in our arms when they started calling.
The doctors were excited, they had a clean sample. A name was being cried out in joy and suddenly, everyone went silent. "We're looking for a Peter! Peter Oxenstierna!"
My son. My son had the clean blood. We called to them, getting the attention of everyone in the room. "That's our son! That's our boy!"
The doctor in change explained that they needed one more test to be sure and half an hour later, he came out whooping and hollering. My son had clean enough blood to help cure the world of this monster of an illness. In all the excitement and adrenaline we were feeling, we didn't think of the repercussions until a doctor had pulled me aside.
"You're the boy's mother, right?" I nodded with a smile still on my face. The next words came out fuzzy. "We need to use up all the blood in his body to made a suitable amount before helping the rest of the world. I'm sorry Mrs. Oxenstierna, but your son won't make it through if we go ahead with the procedure."
Berwald had to hold me before I passed out from what I heard. My innocent little boy now once again asleep, dead? I knew this disease would cost us but the life of my own child that I could save against the whole world of people who were dying.
He sat me down and I explained the situation through sobs. I didn't want to loose him. He had only turned 7 a few weeks before. The nurses assured me that it was my own decision and if I chose to do so, he'd pass along very peacefully. But I didn't want to hear it. Why couldn't I save him and the entire world.
Berwald was torn as well, the look of conflict in his blue eyes. "He's just a baby Ber...we can't let him die! He's too young to die!"
"But we'll be saving everyone else-"
"He's my son!" I cried once more, burying my face in his shirt and releasing all of my emotions, even hitting his chest a few times. He didn't mind and he completely understood. I knew I had to do the right thing. Peter was the only one who could help. And that meant he had to loose his life for the sake of millions.
Berwald got the nurse and told her we'd go through with it. We shook awake Peter, his blue eyes looking straight at us confused and tired. "Mama, papa, what's going on...?"
I lifted him up and kissed his forehead lightly. "Honey, you're going to go with the nice people here, okay? They just need to take a little bit more blood and then you'll come back here with us and we can go home." Liar. It hurt.
"Can we sleep when we go home...?" He asked, resting his chin on my shoulder. "I'm tired."
A few tears escaped my eyes before I could stop them. "They'll let you sleep while they take your blood, okay...? When you wake up, we'll play dress up and do whatever you want...you're such a brave little trooper."
"I don't like needles."
"You won't have to worry after this." I whispered, holding him closer. "Never again. Ever..."
Berwald gave him a 'goodnight' kiss on the forehead and we all prayed. I had to pause to keep myself from crying. I walked him in and watched as they hooked him up. He held my hand as the blood began going from his arm and into the machine.
"Mama...I'm cold..." He whimpered, shivering as his skin paled. His eyes showed such innocence and a dimming light within them. "I wanna go home..."
"Soon baby..." I whispered, kissing his forehead. "Just shut your eyes and breath, it'll be over soon..."
"Heaven is pretty..." His voice barely left his lips and I took in a sharp breath of air to keep me from breaking down right there. "It's shinny and it glows...am I dying...?"
"No..." I whispered, kissing his cheek. "No, you're just going to sleep..."
"I love you..." He said weakly to me. "I love you mama..."
"I love you too Peter..." My voice shook as he took in one heavy breath and then released it heavily. His body went limp and his hand slipped from mine. My baby boy was taken from me. Taken to save everyone on this worthless planet.
All of us were devastated. None of us could bare the loss of my young son. He was so full of life and had such a future ahead of him. Everything in the world slowly settled yet over 20 million around the world had died. The world was changed completely in many places, my home being one of the biggest ones.
Many people called, they thanked us, consoled us. Our son saved the world and yet we couldn't save him. Landon took it terribly, he awoke alone in his room and explaining the situation cause him to burst out in tears and lock himself up in his room.
If I could've, I would've stepped in to save him. But what I'll never forget was the nurse that came in seconds after he passed on and said,"we found another donor who could donate the needed blood safely."