I was hanging with my TF crazy friend/Mentor Kyle, when he brought up this song.
Now, I'm just making this up as I go, and I have no idea when the Autobots and Decepticons were created, but just bear with me, ok? I'm trying as hard as I can to match the personalities to the Transformer.
-
Aquarius
There's
travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a
speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing
Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day
Sideswipe poked his head into his Twin's room. "Hey, SUUUUNY! Guess what I found on the internet!" He announced happily.
"Not now, you red annoyance, I'm busy!" was the curt reply.
The yellow mech was bent over something that he found interesting. He was disassembling what appeared to be a human's Children's game. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Figuring out how to play this game. I MUST KNOW!" he snarled, trying to delicately pull it apart as Sides read the box.
"Whack-A-Mole?"
-
Pisces
Try
to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true
Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say
Ok, so Sunny was busy. Maybe he could bug Arcee. Yeah, that would work.
As he sauntered to her room, he caught sight of her…dancing?
"Uh, Arcee?" he asked, causing to jump. "Holy crap, Sides. You scared me. I was just dancing."
"I can see that. Guess what I found on the internet?" he said. "If it's music, can I dance to it?" she responded.
"Yeah, I'll make you a copy. I'll see you later." He grumbled.
-
Aries
The
look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound
watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf,
then give a hickey to Meryl Streep
"SIDESWIPE!" The red Lambo was tackled by Chromia.
"YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" she snarled. "How dare you!" "WHAT DID I DO?!" he asked loudly.
"You stuck A FREAKIN' WATERMELON IN MY SUBSPACE." She snarled. "What? No I didn't. Not this time." He stuttered.
"Alright then, who did it?" she asked, then froze. Spinning around quickly, she snarled, "TECHNA!" and stalked off..
Sideswipe shook his head. Things were certainly strange today. It was just like in that song he found…
-
Taurus
You
will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The
stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then
go back to sleep
"Uh, Ironhide?" Sideswipe said, walking into the mech's office and tapping his shoulder. "Do you think-?"
He exploded in the mech's face. "GET OUT YOU LITTLE FREAK! CAN'T YOU READ?!" Apparently, he hadn't seen the sign that said, "STAY OUT. BUSY." on the door.
Sideswipe was booted out of the room and was flying across the hall, when he crashed into a panicked Optimus.
-
That's
your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's
your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's
your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
-
Gemini
Your
birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive
flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance
hurls a javelin through your chest
"SIDESWIPE! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! SHE'S GONE NUTS!" Optimus shook the mech in a frenzied manner. "OH CRAP!" He ran off, screaming like a little femme, as Elita came, holding a javelin, and screaming a war cry. "GET BACK HERE, YOU CHEATING AFT!" she screeched, "HOW DARE YOU FIND SOMEONE ELSE?!"
Sideswipe blinked. Today certainly was…interesting.
-
Cancer
The
position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face
down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose
while taking your driver's test
He was going to bother Wheeljack, but when he got to his lab…
"Uh, Jack? Why are you lying in a puddle of random mud?" he asked the prone mech. No response.
Shrugging, he went to find Bumblebee. Maybe he could explain this craziness.
-
Leo
Now
is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your
boss's face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then
wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik
"What exactly are you doing?"
Sideswipe had walked in on Bee sitting on the photo copier. "Photo copying my skidplate." He said calmly.
"Yeah…" replied Sides, sweatdropping. "I'm gonna go."
-
Virgo
All
Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect
a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a
stick
"What the-? STARSCREAM!"
"Yeah, hi." He said distractedly. "I'm hiding in here until Megatron calms down. Don't tell anyone who's looking for me." The Seeker promptly ran into a supplies closet.
The red lambo blinked. WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON TODAY?
-
That's
your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's
your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's
your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
Now
you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit
unlikely
that the relative position of the planets and the stars
could have
a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively
applies to only you,
but let me give you my assurance that these
forecasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific,
documented evidence, so you would have
to be some kind of moron
not to realize that every single one of the is absolutely
true.
Where was I?
-
Libra
A
big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more
talented that you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember
that when your appendix bursts next week
At that moment, a groaning Barricade rounded the corner. "Have you seen Starscream?" he asked. "Megatron sent me to find him."
Sides shrugged. The mech wandered off, muttering, "Primus, my internals hurt…"
-
Scorpio
Get
ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open
window
Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you
stupid freak
Frenzy skittered around, muttering something, when he went too far down the hall and fell out of a window, screaming. Good thing they were several stories up. The base was on a cliff, you see.
Sides didn't even want to know.
-
Sagittarius
All
your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down
all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in
your den
"THOSE SLAGGERS." Megatron was storming down the hall, muttering. "YOU! Autoscum! Have you seen Starscream?!"
Sides shook his head. Megatron stalked off, muttering, "Talk about me, will they?!"
-
Capricorn
The
stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know
they're lying
If I were you, I's lock my doors and windows and
never never never never never leave my house again
"That's it. Today's too random." Sideswipe stomped into his room, and locked the door.
-
That's
your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's
your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's
your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's
your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's
your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (yay yay
yay yay yay)
That's your horoscope for today
-
Holy smack. That was random, even for me. XD Happy Halloween everyone!