A Moment
We sat in silence for a moment, as I swept around crumbs of cake with a fork. There was a part of me—the obstinate side—that wanted to remain mad at him, that wanted to stay angry and stay headstrong. But then there is the part of me—the overwhelming part—that loves him, that wants to forgive every mistake he has ever made, that wants to be with him for the rest of my life and never let him go. And as all these thoughts coursed through my head, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride that I had chosen to be with a man who—despite his faults—cherished me and loved me with all of his being, which was more than I could have asked for, more than I could have wanted in a man. But he did; and at times I wondered if I was enough. I wondered if we'd make it through the fall. Yet here we were, leaning against the hood of his rented car. And here he was, hundreds of miles from his New York home, in North Carolina to apologize, to see me, to share the news of his independence.
"I really am proud of you," I said after a minute or two. I turned to him briefly before looking back at the plate I held. I could see him staring at me through my peripheral vision. "You did the right thing, leaving your dad's group."
He sighed and I set the plate down on the sidewalk before standing a mere foot in front of him. Although he kept his hands inside of his pockets, I could sense his need to be near me, to feel me and touch me, so I moved closer and placed my hands on his forearms, holding him gently as his own hands came to rest upon my hips. We continued to look at each other in silence, although I could swear on my life that we spoke volumes in that moment. Logan's eyes were more loquacious than his own mouth, and I wasn't sure if I should have laughed at the nonsensicality of it all.
"I couldn't take the bearings anymore, you know?" I nodded and stepped closer into his embrace, leaning against his chest. "I felt like a marionette. My whole life I tried to fight against the strings, but he always had control no matter what I said or did."
I placed my arms over his shoulders and linked them behind his neck. "You're going to be great with whatever it is you choose to do," I said. He smiled warmly and leaned his forehead against mine. "You're driven and you're passionate and you're incredibly intelligent. You'll be fine without Mitchum. Maybe in five years he'll be knocking on your door, begging you for a job." Logan chuckled throatily and enfolded me in his arms. I rested against him, basking in the immediate comfort I felt.
He pulled back slightly, our faces millimeters apart. He smirked tenderly and I pressed my lips to his. The kiss was soft, yet hopeful. "You know I love you," I said more as a statement than as a reaffirming question. He nodded, my head moving with his as our foreheads touched. "And I want what's best for you—I want what you want. But you can't expect me to sit around and watch you throw your life away like you were doing. I should've stepped in sooner. It's just that you're too good for that, Logan. You have so much to offer the world and you were throwing it away. You're smart and talented, and I believe in you. I believe in you one hundred percent. I need you to know that. But I also need you to swear you'll never do that ever again; that you'll come to me and we'll fix the problem as a team, or at least we'll try to."
"I promise," he said gutturally. "I'm not perfect, Rory, and you of all people know this. And I'm going to screw up on occasion, and I'm going to need you to stand by my side when I do." He exhaled deeply and touched his lips to my forehead. "I don't need the rest of the world, Ace, I just need you."
I gazed at him intently, taking in his words. I wasn't sure of what to say or how I'd say it, so I crashed my mouth to his and kissed him as hard and ardently as I could. He responded instinctively, his fingers grasping at my jacket. I held on to him tightly, my body flushed against his as I brushed my tongue over his bottom lip. He opened his mouth to me and I sighed contently as our tongues met in a final dance of fervor.
I could hear footsteps approaching us, and reluctantly, I pulled away, but not before placing soft, languid kisses upon his lips. We parted and turned toward my mother and grandmother. Logan smiled sheepishly, as though we were two teenagers who had been caught making out in the broom closet after curfew. He nodded toward Mom and Grandma, greeting them both with a warm hello.
"Logan, how wonderful to see you," said Grandma affectionately. "I haven't had much of a chance to thank you for all you'd done for us and Rory during Richard's stay in the hospital." Mom smiled warmheartedly, looking back and forth between Grandma and Logan, her arms folded over her stomach.
"You thanked me more than enough at the hospital, Emily," said Logan. "I wouldn't have even thought of being anywhere else." Grandma nodded approvingly, and I linked my arm through Logan's.
"Well, we should be off now, Rory," said Grandma. "It's getting late."
"Oh, okay, sure," I agreed, nodding. I turned to Logan, and I could see his eyes, which implored more time spent with me before we parted for the night. "I think I'll ride back with Logan, if that's all right with you guys?"
"We'll meet you back at the motel," said Mom. She briefly gripped Logan's arm as she walked past us toward Grandma's car. "See you, Logan," He said good-bye to the both of them, his arm going around me in the process.
"It's a girls-only trip, by the way," I said pointedly.
"I just need another ten minutes, I swear," he murmured, leaning toward me. I fought a smile as our lips brushed together just barely.
"Well, when I get home you can have another ten minutes and another ten minutes and another ten minutes after that," I quickly pecked his lips.
"Promise?" I kissed him again. "Fine," he sighed, "but I'm driving under the speed limit."