A Star Trek Fiction
"Captain Kirk, he's as human as the rest of us, he just receives more crap and punishment then the majority of us. He's daring and defiant but his true loyalty and all of his motives lie in his ship, the USS Enterprise."
Confused
Chapter 1: 'Someday' Nickelback
A whimper makes its way through his lips. His lungs claw for the much needed oxygen. Ribs ache and crack as he moves his upper body. His chest tightens with each wheeze and movement.
It's not worth it anymore. Oh god, he's fading. He can't see.
He doesn't want the darkness, he doesn't deserve it, but it comes. The darkness doesn't even knock; it invites itself into his vision. The darkness steals the last of his breath.
He's not breathing now. His eyes refuse to open, his ears are unhearing.
Is he dead? He's not sure yet.
He can't feel his legs, their numb, cold. His arms don't move either; they feel sluggish, as if he was drunk.
Suddenly his lips part without warning and liquid is flooding down. He's drowning, he's sure of it.
That's odd, he didn't recall going to the beach for a swim.
The water barely makes it all the way down. He sputters, coughing. Even though the experience was overwhelming, he feels relieved somewhat. He's breathing now; cool oxygen swirling down his throat.
He lays there, invisible to reality. He feels unreal, fake, almost lonely. It's like he's a book, waiting for someone to notice the collecting dust.
Pressure starts to build up on his side. At first it's just burning, but the pain increases. His lips open, letting out a cry. He doesn't know how loud his scream was, because he still can't hear.
Feeling is coming back now, almost too quickly. His brain is assessing the damage, taking into count every ache, burn, or sting.
He cringes slightly. Something's touching him. The touch is warm and sticky, but gentle. More cries escape, he doesn't know why though.
Bursts of agony erupt, surging through his core.
His body curls. He's in a tight ball, flinching from the touch. Hands are grabbing him, he doesn't want them to, they're causing him pain.
Sound is coming through. Voices, they're murmuring, some screaming. There's sirens, he can hear them. They're loud, distracting.
His name, someone says his name. He can't focus though. His eyes still won't open. His name again is called softly, barely above a whisper, or so he thought.
A hand brushes his face, drumming against his cheek. He wants to call out, to see the hand, the person. But he can't.
He lets out another scream. He's not sure why, but he can feel it. It feels like a laser, burrowing its way into his ribs. It doesn't seem to stop.
His lips crack open, he speaks but he's not sure if it was audible. He tries again.
"Stop." Comes a hoarse voice. He's not sure if it's his, it sounded detached, fragile, weak.
"Jim." A voice replies, the name was said soothingly, like a mother to her child.
He moans, he wants to hear his name again. He wants the voice to continue, to bring him back. But silence only follows.
His body starts to shake. Why? He's not quite sure. His breath comes in hiccups, each time his body slightly convulses.
He's tired now, terribly exhausted. But he's tired of darkness, he despises it now. He wants to see, he's ready.
Blue eyes flutter open, but they close quickly. He couldn't make out what he just saw, it was too bright. He attempts again, this time with more success.
There's a ceiling, it's white, lights shining down. He wants to move his head, but he can't, it's too heavy. He looks to the side, only more white walls. He looks to his right, this time a blue blob is there.
He squints, the blob doesn't come into focus, but it becomes larger and makes noises.
He's not quite sure if he can understand what it's saying, but it seems genuinely concerned. It keeps coming closer until its hands are upon him. He flinches, he longs to run, but his body is still incapacitated.
Slowly the figure becomes clearer, it's someone he knows. That face, he knows it. The man had his typical scowl upon his face, his disapproving glance, and his strong stature. He knew him.
What did he call this man? He knew it, but the name wouldn't surface.
"Jim." The voice said and continued to speak, but he only focused on his name.
His face scrunched up, he wishes to remember, but the universe isn't that kind.
"…stop fighting." The man murmurs, his tone sounding exasperated.
He hadn't realized, but the voice's right. He's still pushing and thrashing. He stops now, his eyes barely managing to stay open.
"Jim, look at me." And again, damn this man seems determined to get his attention.
He turns slightly, his neck tightening as he does so. The figure smiles. He knows him, the brown hair, the grizzled beard, the unbearable eyes.
"Bones." He states and the Doctor chuckles.
"Jim, I'm here." Bones replies, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
He smirks, but his face screws over in pain afterwards. His breath hitches and suddenly he's turning blue. His throat's burning now, he's choking.
Hurriedly Bones rolls him onto his side and the bile rushes from his lips and onto the ground.
He's in tremendous pain, his body is shaking again, uncontrollably so.
"Hurts." He manages to groan and he felt the hands try to help him, but it only caused more pain.
Why did he feel so much pain? What happened?
"Jim, I need you to calm down. You're alright." The voice is faded, but equally concerned.
"Jim, you're having a panic attack. I need you to focus…" Bones is trying, but failing.
He's hyperventilating, his body kicking and thrashing. Hands wash over him, pulling him onto his back.
One hand clasps over his mouth.
Great, now he can't breathe.
"Jim, breathe through your nose." The voice commands him.
He doesn't comply; he's tired, confused, weary. He keeps fighting, pushing the evil hand away.
"Breathe through your nose… why are you so stubborn?" Bones mutters.
Finally, he listens. He breathes through his nostrils. He feels relieved, but the pain doesn't ease.
"There you go kid." Bones says with a thankful sigh.
He just moans. It's hard to stay awake, and he's still unsure of what's going on. He tilts his head, gazing at Bones' worried expression.
Bones smiles back and removes his hand from his lips.
"We're stuck Jim, crashed. She crashed Jim… we crashed her." Bones mutters, filling in the blank but also giving him a wash of regret and stupidity.
He remembers now, not too clearly, but just the gist.
"Crashed…?" He manages to mumble, his voice above a whisper and only croak.
"Yes Jim, we crashed the Enterprise." Bones says, and then remorsefully regrets saying so.
He has to get up. His ship needs him.
He yelps as he pushes off of the ground. He's dizzy, not coherent. Hands grab him and push him back down. He fights, he needs to get up.
Why the hell is Bones fighting him?
"Bones!" He barely gets out, his voice is cracked.
"Jim, there's nothing we can do!" Bones snaps angrily.
He shakes his head. Bones is wrong. She's not gone. She can't be gone. He wants to convey his thoughts but he can't, his voice is gone, his eyes refuse to remain open.
"Jim! Jim stay with me, you can't sleep, not yet kid." Bones is telling him, but he's losing the battle.
Suddenly he's jabbed in the side. He cries out, tears pooling in his eyes.
"Ahh…Bones…hurts…mhmmm…" He complains and he feels the pressure ease.
"Sorry, I had to keep you awake." Bones apologizes quickly.
"Have…help…her…" He's babbling now, becoming slightly delirious.
"Jim I need you to hang on a bit longer okay? I'm almost done clearing the doorway." Bones informs him and he cranes his neck towards the door.
Where the hell are we?
The door is blocked by wreckage. Piles of steel, broken furniture, and electrical wires are tangled up.
"Where's help?" He grumbles and Bones looks his way briefly before continuing to the door.
"Not coming fast enough obviously." The Doctor responds sharply.
Bones goes further down the room until he reaches the door; he then begins to move things around, clearing a path.
He lies there, immobilized. Why can't he move?
He lifts his head and stares at his body. His pants are shredded; fragments of metal are sticking out of his legs. His arms are sliced from ruptured glass and his torso is bruised. He wants to know what his head looks like, but he can't see it, obviously.
He eases back down, his head is throbbing. Steady drums beat against his skull. He feels helpless, pathetic almost.
He shifts a little, trying to get comfortable upon the floor, it's an impossible task. It keeps him occupied though. After minutes of restless movements, he glances over at Bones.
Bones is still working, his focus on the wreckage at hand.
He smirks.
Adrenaline starts to flow. It's not enough, but he makes it work. Ungracefully he brings himself into a sitting position.
His vision spins, his head pounds. It's not a good combination.
His stomach lurches now and stomach acid spews from his mouth. He barely notices the blue figure coming to his side.
"Moron." Bones grumbles to himself.
"Can't…breathe." He states as his chest restricts and his lungs start to scream.
"You need to lie back down." Bones tells him and begins to help him lie down.
He fights.
God, why does he keep fighting Bones? It's becoming a bad habit.
He can't help it, he hates it, he doesn't want it. He wants to get up, to save his ship, his crew. But he can't, that scares him.
"Damn it Jim, stop struggling." Bones grinds his teeth.
The hands are becoming rougher, they were no longer gentle. They lost their touch.
"Oww! Bones stop! Bones…stop!" He cries out, he's kicking now, pushing Bones away.
One flailing limb manages to smack Bones in the face. The Doctor stumbles back, dazed slightly.
He gets up, taking advantage of the moment. But he takes longer to get up then he thought. The moment he stands, he's grabbed by two strong arms.
He's put into a bear hug, he can't escape, he can't breathe.
"…Bones…" He croaks.
He's slipping away now, his knees giving out.
The arms catch him; bring him into a comfortable position. His eyes flicker open, Bones is staring down at him. The Doctor's lip is bleeding, but he doesn't seem to mind.
He tries to speak, but only a hiccup escapes.
"I know Jim, I know. Just breathe kid." Bones says softly, holding him in his arms.
Bones scans him over, he's afraid for him. He's bloody, his face hardly recognizable. His body is tattered with bruises and cuts. His legs are falling apart, broken bones and shrapnel. His arms have the least damage, just a few probable fractures and slices.
The Doctor sighs and he sees the distress. Now he's stressed, his emotions are going overboard.
He can't remember, he doesn't know why the Enterprise has crashed, but he's certain it was his fault.
He was supposed to protect her, supply her, nurture her.
He failed, miserably. He's sure of it.
A slight shift causes him to shake. His body feels like it's shutting down. There's nothing Bones can do. Bones doesn't want to let go of him. He feels safe wrapped up in his friend's loving arms.
A tear slips through; Bones sees it and wipes it from his cheek.
"We failed her Jim. I don't think she's pulling through this one." Bones tells him, stroking the side of his face.
He closes his eyes, Bones doesn't protest. This scares him.
Does Bones realize that he's fading? Does he believe that he's a goner?
Even with the terrifying thought, his eyes don't open, they remain closed. They feel too heavy to lift anyways. Maybe Bones knows this and is only letting him have a quiet break. He's not sure though.
Whatever the cause of Bones absence, it doesn't matter anymore. He's falling away, no plans of returning.
He's okay with it.
He tried his best, and his best wasn't good enough. He accepts this, but not truly.
He was pretty sure James Tiberius Kirk didn't give up, but then again he wasn't sure of anything nowadays.
Now he's slightly panicked. He had no idea what was going on. How did the Enterprise crash? Why were he and Bones all alone? Where was everyone?
These thoughts left him confused…very confused.
Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry if you find the writing style slightly annoying or just completely intolerable, I'm just trying something new. I want to know if you like it or not, please just leave a comment I don't care if you're a hater or a lover, just leave the review. And yes, there's more to come, I want to know what you think should happen next, because honestly I have no idea where I'm going with this. Well thanks for reading and have Happy Dayz 4 Life!