A/N: Hello, again. This is another one of my sad attempts at making a self-insertion story. Flames will be accepted, but none regarding OOC-ness or Mary Sue-ness. Got it? Okay then…

Oh, and sorry for ripping off of your story, Kiva-Ember! Mine's gonna be a bit different. -evil chuckle-

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia or anything else, though I do own Amy…

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I sigh, rather frustrated at that… I don't mind rain in the summer. Nah, I adore rain, because it cools down the heat, but after, it's so f-ing humid! You cannot blame me, for even thou who livest in lowereth Wisconsineth has a lot o' heat. Dang…. I'm drabbling again… Anyhoo, this is the worst day in the sixteen years I have been alive.

While I'm drabbling, I'm also wondering what the heck is Ponce De Lion. No idea. The next worst thing is I'm all wet, and so is the seat I'm sitting on. Maybe it's all sweat.

Eww.

Maybe my imagination's broke. Um… Greatest thing in the world? Er… cheese… fondue… Yep… It's busted awright. Wow, I so totally just robbed Strong Bad. 'Cept I do like Beef Stew. If you don't get the joke, um, go… go eat something.

Oi, the bus stopped. I look out the window. Yeah, it's my stop. I'm the only one there, so it's real durn depressin' in the morning. I get off and walk behind the bus to my house which is across the street. Aren't you not supposed to cross behind a bus? Urgh, maybe. If I'm not, I can't remember.

I trudge (it seemed in order for a sullen word there) up to my house… We have the worst lawn ever. It's dry and crackly and there's dirt everywhere, but our flowers are radiant and well kept. Shows my mumsy (mom, it's something I call her sometimes) for ya. It looks really weird next to all these families with perfect lawns and huge houses. I have somethin' that looks like a farm house…

Okay. House? Empty. Note? Yeah.

"Dear Amethyst," I read aloud. Crappy name, I know. But all my friends call me Amy… Urm… Yeh.

"Since you failed your end of the year Math test, you're going to be alone for the first month of summer vacation. Please don't kill yourself. We're only going to Alabama, and you begged not to come. (wink) Have a good time!

Love,

Mom."

I don't know how I could live without that woman. I laughed, my day brightening up. Everyone gone, I have a driver's license, I got like, what, $2,000 in cash, and the fridge is full. Thank Martel.

Yes, before you mention it, I am obsessed with Tales Of Symphonia. I cannot help it. It's the only game I've beat. This is going to be, what, the 18th time I've beat it if I start another game today? Yep, I have no life. Just my Game Cube and a few punching bags.

Hitting things is fun.

I go up to my room with a mucho bowl of last night's Chinese (I swear, they give you so much… I love them for it!) and a glass of cranberry juice (I love the stuff, even though it's bitter-ish) and use my foot to shut the door.

After that, I set down my food on the floor. I am edumacated (just like Homer Simpson!) on not spilling my food. I stretch and stuff a bunch of a ugly mix of Chinese food and cranberry juice in my mouth and chew and swallow. I betcha were thinking I was gonna choke, weren't cha?

Dang. I used the word "anyhoo" already, didn't I? Oh, well. Anyhoo (yay for repetitiveness!) I put Tales Of Symphonia in the game box thing (cube? Methinks not, not with all those wirey things coming out!) and use the back end of my fork to turn on both my Game Box (why didn't they make a game pyramid or something?) and the TV. I wait for the game to load, and begin eating Chinese food. Yum.

Not yum. I close my eyes and feel like I'm about to barf. Did someone leave the top open or something? Gah. I curl up in a small ball and hug my knees, completely dropping my fork and food. It's all dark, but that's just my eyes clenched shut… I groan and squirm, and notice it's getting colder.

I try to feel my forehead to see if I have a fever, but I can't move. I don't feel anything. It's like someone numbed my whole body. Am I going into surgery and the thing before was just a cruel dream?

I can open my eyes, but now… holy crud. I am sitting on top of the Martel Temple. I'm wearing a spandex-like armor underneath a rune-patterned cloak that is open in the front. My feet are occupied by large hiking boots, but they come up to my knees. Cool… But isn't the top of the temple sloped?

Yep. I begin my descent, trying to hold onto the shingles, but there are none, it's smooth like glass.

Everything looks anime-like, but 3-D, Including me. My red hair is now shiny, and my skin is smooth and soft looking. Thank god, I'm much more in shape in this world. And… I have a Yuan-type weapon.

Now, back to my current predicament.

I am sliding rapidly down the roof, but at least my legs which have very short shorts on, aren't getting scratched. The shorts are like mini cargo pants. I like 'em…

After sliding for a while, I fall. The game never displayed how tall the temple really was. It's huge. Holy crapatola. And I'm falling. Luckily, a certain black haired Renegade breaks my fall…

I land on Botta in an undignified position- apparently, he just got up here and is gonna annoy Phiadra. I hate the little old lady… She's annoying. I land, like I said, undignified.

My legs are on either side of Botta's head. I'm facing him, so… Yeah. He looks as surprised as hell. Believe it or not, he actually looks sorta handsome and a lot taller in real life.

Ur, did I mention I'm in Tales Of Symphonia? Holy crud. The worst day of my life, a semi-coma, and now… This. With my position the way it is, I feel dirty.

I get up right away, blushing. The Renegade gets up, dusting off his clothes and looking semi-flustered. I hold up my weapon. He ignores me and proceeds interrogating Evil Brunel Gramp- I mean, Grandma. I chuckle evilly.

"Where is the chosen!" He demands as Colette, Lloyd and Genis run up behind him. Irony…

"Run, Colette!" says Evil Brunel Grandma.

"Sir, it's the Chosen!" says one of Botta's lackeys. I wonder if they're like Mister Smithers to Mister Burns…

Weird thoughts. Anyway, the would-be-gay lackeys attack.

The other three (Colette trips but promptly gets up) fight back. I pull out my weapon and slash the two's necks from behind their backs. Oo, blood. Not a good thing… But for me, yes.

Lloyd looks startled, but continues attacking the two with his wooden swords of doom. Whack, whack, whack, a slash from me, a fireball from Genis, and a Whirlwind Rush from Colette (I suppose I picked "Tech" for special thingies in this) and I slash again.

Do I have any attacks? A little voice replies.

'Yes, you know Thunder Blade, most holy attacks such as Judgement, Holy Lance or something else, and you know both basic sword attacks like Beast and everything Lloyd does, and healing spells like Raine, but only things like Healing Circle and First Aid.'

'Who the hell is inside my head?' I think. Am I crazy? Yes, yes I am.

'No, you're not. I'm your Game Cube, you idiot…'

'Oookay then. Off I go.'

'You do that.' My gamecube sounds like a very sarcastic and somewhat girly Sheena, except more fangirlish.

I stand, hold my weapon and concentrate. Luckily, the words for the spell come out immediately. One of those freaky circles is around me.

"JUDGEMENT!" I yell, killing both Renegades- or at least K.O.ing them. The next dude comes up.

"You will not get in our way!" Says mister giant ape dude. Holy crap, he's scary. What is he, a Exbula Rodyle Reject? Sounds about right. He has a huge mace thingy that is really scary. They do NOT give these guys enough store in the games- all the Renegades are tall and muscular. I'm about two inches taller than Lloyd, who's standing next to me.

"Hey," I whisper to him, "When he swings his mace, guard if you're hit into the air." He looks confused but nods. It works, and he flips in mid-air and gets back on his feet. I do the same and prepare another spell.

"First Aid!" I feel revitalized, luckily. Then, after attacking, suddenly I feel worn out, as do the other three. In the game, I've beat the crap out of Vidar or whatever his name is, and not sustain any damage, but everyone suddenly falls over. And Kratos appears.

Our favorite purple mercenary is NOT given justice by the midget games. He looks just like the one from the anime scenes- tall and muscular. He helps attack Vidar and we all proceed in beating him up. He heals me once. I feel special! I utter a "thank-you" and proceed in sticking my weapon in an undisclosed area of Vidar. After he falls, the Renegades split.

"In all my sixteen years, this is the best day ever," I say, out loud. Lloyd looks confused.

"You can't be only sixteen, you look about twenty or older!" He says. I look down. I'm taller, and more well-built. I could give Sheena a run for her money, except I have a huge collar and no revealing kimono, thank the lord.

I laugh.

"Of course, I was kidding, Lloyd." Kratos looks up, his dark eyes sort of surprised.

"Your name is Lloyd?" He asks our favorite red-clad swordsman.

"Give me your name and I shall give you mine." Kratos "hmpfs" and replies.

"Very well. I am Kratos, a mercenary, as long as you can pay me," he turns to Phiadra like the ass he is, "I'll take on the job of protecting the chosen." I giggle.

He glares at me, but with a friendly glint in his eye. Somehow, my evil Yuan-Sword of doom turns miniature and fits itself into a small lock thing on my arm. Cool.

"I'm Amy, a mercenary who is so much cooler than Kratos," I state, crossing my arms. I also have a cooler sword thing.

Lloyd breaks into fits of laughter.

"But how did you know my name?" he asks.

"I am psychic…" I say, with my creepiest face possible, and cross my eyes, sending him into laughter again. That was so totally worth it.

"I must accept the oracle now," says Colette, thanking both Kratos and I, along with Lloyd and Genis.

"Wait, I'm coming," says Lloyd.

"You'll only get in our way," says the Bastard Seraphim. I whack Kratos lightly on the back of the head. He can't kill me, 'cause I have a million tons of blackmail.

He glares back at me. I smile.

Lloyd says "Fine, I'll just follow you on my own, then."

"You're a stubborn kid," chuckles Kratos. "Fine, do as you wish. But this isn't a field trip, you know." He turns to his serious-bastardly-seraphim-jerk self and goes inside with Colette.

"What about me?" I ask. "Pweese can I come?" I unleash my secret weapon- puppy eyes of doom. Wow, it's as if I'd turned into Anna, 'cause Kratos nods.

"Fine. Just don't go insane and begin trying to make the spiders into a cannibalistic colony like you did last time…" Eh? Last time?

"Wha--?"

"Do you know each other?" asks Lloydikins, tapping my shoulder.

"I met 'im at a… bar…" I say, thinking up an excuse. My teacher used that when people found out about her affair with the PE counselor. Crazy woman.

Mister Midget Genis is trailing behind, mumbling about not wanting to be here. Currently, the fighting party is Lloyd, Colette, Kratos and I. Genis is going to be giving us potions from the sidelines.

I run up beside Kratos.

"Kratty?" I ask casually.

"I told you not to call me that," he whispers.

"Wha-- but I just met you…" I mumble, with a weird look on my face.

"What're you talking about? Mi- I mean, Yggdrasiel is going crazy about you- you haven't shown up in half a year…" he hisses.

"What about Mithos…? I mean, I'm not one of the four seraphim or a Desian or anything…"

"Idiot… You're one of the five Seraphim, remember?" he hisses glaring at me.

"You're insane, but I think you're right," I whisper.

We've been whispering, and I'm really confused. Mithos…? I'm one of the five Seraphim? There are only four… I walk alongside Colette.

"Hey, Colette?"

She looks up.

"Yes?"

"Do you ever wonder if your father was really just a human, not an angel like those rumors say?" She looks surprised, then nods.

"Yes, but then I would be able to meet him, wouldn't I?"

"Not really. I mean, look at Lloyd, for example- he doesn't know whether his father was a- well, he knows his father was a human, but he can't meet him…"

"But… then wouldn't I not be the chosen?"

"No… I mean, you could just be the daughter of a human but still have a Cruxis Crystal," That will eventually cause you immense pain and suffering, I add mentally.

"Maybe…" she states, scratching her head. By then, we are at the ever-sealed-by-sorcerer's-ring-thing of doom door. I kick it.

I kick door. Door shocks me.

Both of those were complete sentences.

"Eyagh!" I yell, grabbing my foot. Kratos chuckles.

"Damn you, Kratty!" I say, pointing a dramatic finger at him. We go now to find the evil sorcerer's ring of DOOM.

Along the way, we meet several giant spiders. I love spiders!

I go up and start hissing to one. The thing seems to understand me. Back on earth, I could hiss to random spiders and they would do whatever I was thinking. It was really weird.

I point at another spider. The giant spider begins eating the other one.

"Cool…" I state, searching my robe for a camera. Somehow, I draw a Polaroid out, which is the kind that spews out the photo. I take a picture, receive the photo and stuff it back into my bag- a little leather thingy hanging off my shoulder.

The other spider is dead, and one is like, crazy. I kick the crazy one and it flops over, dead. At the same time, my companions finish beating up a bunch of Zombies. Eww…

Well, that was cool…

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To be Continued next chapter…