I decided to start this after reading all the theories behind the baby clothes in the Joker's toy circle form Suicide Squad. Not only do the two Clowns have a daughter, but she's an avid fan of the movie. How will an SI affect the story? Will she survive long with two notorious villains for parents? Please let me know what you think of my idea.

xxxxxxx

"Aw! Puddin, isn't she just the cutest little thing ever?" An obnoxiously loud squeal penetrated my ears, making me want to slap my hands over my bleeding eardrums. This woman needs to dial down her excitement or I'll go deaf. Why is she being so loud anyway? Haven't you ever heard of an inside voice lady?

I tried reaching up to shut out the sound sounds, only to fail miserably. My arms feel so weak and uncoordinated. What is going on? Have I been drugged? Did I get kidnapped?

"She looks normal." A deeper voice growled out the word normal like it was the most disgusting thing you could be. The sheer annoyance radiating from the second voice involuntarily made me flinch. I could feel something bubbling up in throat in response to his words.

Who is this person that is displeased with my looks? I know for a fact I happen to be a very gorgeous young lady. Boys go out of their way to win my favor. I opened my eyes so I could glare at the male that dared to classify me as normal, like I'm anything but extraordinary. I'll teach him a lesson.

"She's a baby, that's how she's supposed to look. Puddin look! She's trying to open her eyes."

Trying, being the key word again. Once again doing any kind movement proved difficult for me. My eyelids are so heavy and everything is blurry. I can't see anything but colorful blobs. I must be having a pretty strong trip. Whatever they have me on is some serious shit.

"Oh." She drawled out. "She has your eyes Mistah J. You're such a pretty little baby aren't you?" The woman continued to coo and baby-talk.

Okay, this is getting on my nerves. I can't see anything but this green blob off to the side and this white blob with pink and blue mixed in it hovering over me, worst of all my stupid body isn't responding to me the way I want it too. What kind of trip is this? Aren't drug highs supposed to fun and mystical? Nothing about this is fun.

Wait a second. Why does this gum ball lady keep calling me a baby? I know I'm cute and all, but I'm no baby. I am a young and beautiful lady. I try yet again to get some clarity by asking the gum ball lady what is going on, but you guessed it, my mouth isn't working. I can hardly move my mouth and tongue to make sound, all that comes out is slobber. So gross.

What is going on with me? Is this punishment for being amazing? If this is a test to make me become more humble, then I get it. I won't be so conceited about myself anymore. I'll stop being a narcissist, just make this awful trip end already.

"This kid better not get in the way Harley." The green guy threatened the gum ball lady. I could feel her arms tightening around me.

I'm not a kid! I'm not a baby either! I am a grown lady got damn it!

"Of course not Puddin. Lucy is going to be our perfect little monster." The woman lifted me high in the air so that I was looking down at her.

Alright, I know I'm a little on the light side, but this lady should not be able to lift me like I'm a bag of flour she's inspecting. I also should not be helplessly flailing in the air. I certainly should not be babbling and smiling at the woman gleefully giggling. All of this is wrong.

This is crazy.

This is a joke. This is one big joke.

HaHaHaHaHa. I'm laughing along with the crazy gum ball lady.

There is no way I'm a baby and there is now way my name is Lucy. Like really? Lucy?

Oh, Lucy! I'm home.

HaHaHaHaHa

I am going crazy from this bad trip.

xxxxxxx

I can't believe this is my life.

For the past months I have been fed milk from the gum ball lady's nipple, bathed and changed by her and put to sleep by her gentle humming. I have been at her complete mercy and entirely dependent on her for survival. If it weren't for gum ball lady, surely I'd have died.

If I didn't believe it before, than I believe it now. My initial hysterical has become a thing of the past and I have come to accept the cold, hard truth. I am a baby. I have no freaking clue how I got here. I don't remember dying some tragic death and meeting a death god or something. In fact, I don't remember much of anything about myself before I woke up in Gum Ball's arms. Gum Ball. That is the name I have settled on for my female caretaker. As for my male caretaker, I have taken to calling the Green Monster, seeing as he's got a jealous temper. Most of the time that Gum Ball is in here, Green will call for her to come back to him. He's such a possessive guy. Not that I blame him, Gum Ball is a hoot, she's always telling me these funny stories about bats, penguins, and scarecrows.

Speaking of the Green Monster I haven't seen much of him. He has really only shown up in my room when I've started crying. He would come into my eyesight to lean in close and growl at me to be quiet. At least he's attentive. On even rarer occasions he'd come in and rub at my stomach making me laugh and joining in on that laughter. I can tell that Green Monster is somebody to be feared. I mean, come on, he growls and purrs like some kind of rapid animal. Plus I would sometimes hear another deep voice knock on the door and call Green, "Boss".

Boss.

That is some mafia stuff right there.

The Green Monster must be in charge of some big mobster family, judging by the surplus amount of toys in my crib and room. Oh, did I mention that I have sparkly crystal figurines hanging above my crib? I can only make out the diamond shaped ones. Green isn't present as much as Gum Ball either, but she says it's cause daddy is working hard for his queen and princess. Whatever that means. So Green Monster isn't around much, he's got mega cash, and he's got lackeys that call him boss. Yeah, this guy is a mobster.

I should be afraid of him. He probably kills people...Naw. It's really hard to be scared of him when he has such a bright neon green shade of hair. Reminds me of a clown.

Gum Ball and Green Monster. These two are the only people I've come into contact with. My days are so boring as a baby, without them here to cheer me up. I've got nothing to do, but blankly stare at the ceiling or roll around in my crib. It's hard being a baby when your mind is that of a young adult.

I wish my eyesight would clear up already. I'll never take clear vision for granted again. Geez I'm complaining a lot.

Oh well. I guess I'll go back to sleep to pass the time.

"Lucy. Wakey, wakey my little Puddin Pie." Gum Ball's cheery voice woke me up from nap. I could feel her picking me up and pulling me toward her breast. Gum Ball had been trying to get me on a regular feeding schedule. The Green Monster was not pleased to constantly be hearing my cries randomly throughout the day. I tried not to be a bother, but my stomach and bottom had other plans. I have not yet mastered the ways of my body yet. Give me a few more years and I'll be taking care of myself again. And believe I can't wait for that. It's entirely disgusting being covered in my own fecal matter and all the other disgusting substances this body creates. It would have been better if I wasn't self aware. I've thrown up more times than a hardcore bulimic chic. Being a baby is the definition of gross.

"Aw, that's a good girl. My little Lucy is going to grow up big and strong, just like her mommy and daddy." A mad giggle followed her baby-talk. Gum Ball's Brooklyn accent is the reason I tolerate the baby-talk. Everything she says sounds funny. I wonder if I'll end up with her accent. Better hers than Green's odd heavy breathing. He must have asthma or something.

I've noticed that my two caretakers are proactive gigglers. I hear them both laughing at least five times a day. They must have great senses of humor. Gum Ball's laughs aren't so bad, they're cute in an obnoxious, grow-on-you-kind-of way. Green Monster's laughs though are a different story. Whenever I hear him laugh there is always some loud bang after it or Gum Ball and him just break out into a laughing fit. I'm sold at this point. I have concluded that the Green Monster is a mobster. He must like having execution styled meetings in his house. I can't imagine how hard it must be cleaning the blood out of the carpet.

I know this knowledge should bother me, but it just doesn't. I must have been a horrible person in my previous life.

Gum Ball removed me from her breast and put me over her shoulder for me to burp, while fixing her dress strap. She hummed as she bounced me up and down, off in her own little world.

I hate burping. Vomit is the root of all evil. It so vile and burns my throat. How could some girls do this voluntarily?

"Harley!" The loud shot interrupted Gum Ball's humming.

"In here Puddin!" She started bouncing me more urgently. She must be in a hurry, Green Monster does not like to be kept waiting.

The door opened and in came Green.

"Harley have you seen my cane?" He came into my sight and I choked.

Wait. Did I just see who I think I saw?

I rapidly blinked my eyes, in wonder over the sudden clarity of my regained vision. Wishes do come true! My next wish is that I'll grow up to be even more beautiful than I was before.

"It's not in the closet where I left it." He came closer to Gum Ball.

Bright green hair. Crystal blue eyes. Bleached skin. The word "Damaged" across his forehead. Crazy red lips pulled down in a frown instead of in a maniacal grin.

I threw up over Gum Ball's shoulder.

"It's in your office silly. Don't you remember teaching that henchman a lesson last night?" Gum Ball pulled me off her shoulder to quickly clean my face with the wipes on the shelf.

The Green Monster let out a dark cackle. "That's right. I had to remind the boy to keep his eyes off what's mine. Can't have anybody looking at my queen."

Gum Ball turned to wink at the Green Monster before laying me back in my crib.

I glimpsed her actual face for the first time.

Platinum blonde hair. Pink and blue highlights. Dark blue eyes. Bleached skin. The word "Rotten" on her jawline.

Oh my gosh.

"Now you be a good girl and go back to sleep Lucy." Gum Ball planted a big goodnight kiss on my nose and tucked me into my blanket. "Mommy and Daddy will be back later."

"You ready, baby? We've got business to handle." The Green Monster impatiently snapped his fingers to call Gum Ball to attention.

"Do I get to play with him too this time Puddin?" Gum Ball walked over to him and seductively ran her hands over Green Monster's chest.

"Maybe, if you put on a good show for Daddy."

I numbly watched Gum Ball playfully try to bite Green while he escorted her out of my nursery. Gross. I don't need to see or hear them flirting. Now that I have faces to envision them with, things just got a whole lot crazier. With them out of the room I let my mind wander off.

This still has to be a joke. The greatest joke of all.

HaHaHaHaHa

Not only am I baby, but I'm the daughter of the freaking King and Queen of Crime. Mobsters. What a joke. They are the mob. They are the predators. The highest link on the food chain.

HaHaHaHaHa

The Joker and Harley Quinn are my new parents. I don't know if I should squeal like a fangirl or cry like a bitch.

I'll settle for laughter. Humor cures everything and my new dad is all about a good joke.

HaHaHaHaHa

I'm Lucy Quinn. xoxoxoxoxoxo