Who Knew?
A/N: Why? Why oh why did I have to listen to that song? LOL, yes, I am talking about the song 'Who Knew' by Pink. After I listened to it, it inspired me to write this REALLY sad song-fic (C/L, naturally), so you may wanna grab a box of Kleenex. Yeah, that's right. I'm gonna break a few hearts, here shortly. Anyways, bold text is London's memories, italics is the song lyrics, and normal text is what's happening at the funeral.
Disclaimer: I don't own the song, the artist, the show or the characters. I think that covers everything.
Summary: London looks back on memories of Cody...at his funeral.
!#$&()
How exactly did I end up here, today? Were there signs telling me all along that this would happen?
When he went out that night, I thought he would come back to me. I thought I'd see his smiling face walk through the front door with a rented movie in his hand and his voice ringing through the hallway. I thought we'd sit together on the couch and make fun of whatever movie we were watching, and I would lay my head on his shoulder. I thought he'd take my hand in his and trace every inch, trying to tickle me. I thought maybe I'd fall asleep halfway through the movie, and he'd make sure I had a blanket over me. I thought he'd try to stay awake to watch the whole movie so he could tell me how it ended. I thought we'd wake up the next morning and he would kiss me like he always did.
But none of that happened. Instead, I'm standing here in a cemetery because some asshole decided to drink away his sorrows and then get behind the wheel of a car. Of all the cars on the road he could have hit, it had to be Cody's.
I glance at the snowy ground surrounding the casket that the love of my life is in. Tears leak out of my eyes and I have no intention of stopping them. I've lost the ability to be strong, and I'm not ashamed of it. I can't hear the the prayer being said, and to be honest, I don't want to. Because if I sense any of my surroundings, then he really is gone. I won't pay attention to any of it. I'll simply think of him. Not the fact that he is no longer there, but the fact that he existed in the first place. The only joy or comfort I take from life now are the many memories I shared with him.
You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me
You'd be around
"No London, this is how you crack the egg," Cody told me. And with that, he enveloped my hand in his and we both grabbed the egg, before smacking it hard against the edge of the bowl.
"Oh, I get it," I replied, excitedly. He waited a few seconds before letting go of my hand, and I'm not sure if he even realized the hesitation. I glanced at my watch and gasped.
"I have to go! Moseby said I had to meet him in the lobby at 4:00 with my report card," I relented, rolling my eyes. To be honest, Cody looked a bit disappointed.
"Oh, okay. Well, if you need more Home-Ec tips, I'll be around," he answered with a smile. I smiled back before running out of the Tipton kitchen.
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
"Um, Cody, what if I fall?" I squealed, staring at the task before me. Of all the things he wanted to do that day, he had to pick one activity I'd never took part in: rollerblading. It was a sunny day in the park, and he decided it on a whim. Why did I agree to come with him?
"You get back up," Cody egged me on, his voice full of positivity. I looked at him disbelievingly. He sighed, thinking of a solution.
"I can't promise you won't fall. I can promise that if you do, I'll catch you," he said to me, his eyes sparkling.
"You promise?" I repeated, wasting time.
"I promise," he stated, holding out his hand. I hesitated, but I finally grabbed on, moving forward a bit on my rollerblades. With that, I almost fell, but something happened.
Cody actually...caught me. He kept his promise to me. I thought after that, I could trust him completely.
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
'Cause they're all wrong
I know better
'Cause you said forever and ever
Who knew?
And this brings us to a warm summer night right after Cody turned eighteen. His parents had bought him a truck and he'd offered to take me for a ride. I was pretty sure he liked me at this point, and I was thrilled. Cody drove us up to a steep cliff overlooking the city of Boston, and it had an aweinspiring view of the night sky.
Cody ended up getting out of the truck, which confused me a bit. I followed suit, opening my door and hopping out, my summer dress fluttering in the breeze.
I watched Cody climb on the back of the truck, where I saw a blanket laid out, and him sit down on it.
"There's a meteor shower tonight and I thought it would be nice to watch it," he said. I smiled at him nervously, and stumbled onto the back of the truck, sitting down beside him.
We sat in silence for a few minutes. But of course, the situation got the better of me. It was a romantic scene, and I just had to blurt out something stupid.
"I like you," I said quickly and loudly. This prompted him to look at me like I was crazy. My eyes went wide at what I'd just done, and the fact that he just stared at me didn't help at all. I quickly jumped up, and tried to flee the scene.
"I'm sorry. I thought..." I trailed off, which was pretty pointless. Cody grabbed my hand before I could climb over the tailgate. He coaxed me back over to the spot next to him and smiled at me.
"You thought what?" He asked me, which caused me to place my hand over my forehead.
"I thought that you...liked me too...but," I stammered, feeling my face growing hot.
He said nothing else, and he didn't need to. He lifted my face from obscurity and shame and closed my stupid mouth with a kiss that I'd waited for for years. There were stars falling above us and cosmic happenings throughout the universe, but we didn't care. The only thing we were aware of was the love growing between us.
"I was thinking of sleeping here," I said whimsically, moments later. We were both stretched out across the truck bed, and I had my head laying against his chest as he ran his fingers through my long black hair.
"Really?" He asked, as if he didn't believe I would actually do it.
"Yeah. Will you stay with me?" I asked, looking up at him.
"Forever," he replied, kissing my forehead. I smiled at him and continued watching the meteor shower.
Remember when
We were such fools
And so convinced
And just too cool
"Wow, my baby is finally going off to college," I said jokingly, pretending to cry.
"I think that's my line," Cody's mother, Carey said, with a chuckle.
"Will you call me every day?" I asked Cody, who nodded at me and smiled.
"I can't go five minutes without talking to you, let alone a whole day..." he replied, walking to the door of his hotel suite. When he turned around to look at me, I looked at him with my patented 'sad puppy' eyes. And he rolled his eyes and turned around. I went running at him and jumped on his back, as I knew he was waiting.
"You guys are funny," our friend Maddie told us, and we agreed whole-heartedly. He carried me like this all the way down into the lobby. We joked and laughed the whole way down. I had to do this to keep from crying, as I knew I wouldn't see him again for a while.
I wish I could
Touch you again
I wish I could
Still call you a friend
I'd give anything
"He was supposed to come see me today, but apparently he thinks his friend's frat party is more important than me," I said sadly to Maddie, watching the rain pour down from the sky outside.
"I'm sure he doesn't think that," Maddie told me reassuringly. And in my heart, I knew she was right, but I was still so angry with Cody. I'd been looking forward to our day together for weeks, and all of a sudden, he decides not to show up. Had we grown apart?
Before I had time to explore this thought, a car pulled up outside the hotel, the headlights glaring into the window. Instantly, Maddie smiled at me, and my mouth dropped. I saw the familiar, damp mop of blonde hair climb out of the car and trudge through the rain, not an umbrella in sight, and I couldn't control myself.
I flashed through the revolving door and threw myself into his arms. I was getting soaking wet, but I didn't care. He'd come to see me and that was all that mattered. I struggled to kiss him, but he pulled something out of his pocket that blocked me from doing so. My eyes focused in on a small, square jewelry box, and my breath caught in my throat. He opened it to reveal a silver ring, with a clear diamond in the shape of a heart directly in the center.
I began sobbing into his shoulder, not waiting for him to ask me what I knew was coming.
"It would've been a lot more dramatic if you'd have waited for me to ask you before you started crying," he told me with a laugh. And I laughed, too.
"I'm sorry," I said, laughing and crying at the same time.
"Will you marry me?" He asked, over the sound of the rain.
"No," I answered solemnly. He stared down at me.
"What?!" He asked, bewildered. I starting laughing again.
"I'm just kidding. Yes," I responded, kissing him without a care in the world.
When someone said count your blessings now
Before they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still, you said forever and ever
Who knew?
And then, came our wedding day. It was the happiest day of both our lives. I waited anxiously near the entrance to the chapel for the organist to begin playing the 'Bridal March'. Before so, though, Carey chose to complicate things a bit.
"London, honey, before you go down there, I want to talk to you about something," she said, smiling sympathetically.
"What is it?" I asked, struggling to fix my veil.
"Before you actually do this, you need to make sure you're ready for this commitment," Carey lectured me, causng me to narrow my eyes at her.
"It's a bit late for this talk, don't you think?" I asked jokingly. I was slightly on edge, anyway.
"I suppose so, but there's something else too. Make sure you treasure the relationship you have with Cody, because one day that's hopefully very far off, it won't be there anymore. If only I'd counted my blessings when I was with Kurt, we'd still be married, but I took advantage of it. I just don't want that to happen to you," she told me, and I complied.
But I didn't really understand what she meant. Someday it wouldn't be there? That was nonsense. Cody had promised me forever. I guess I know now how stupid and naive I was then.
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you, my friend
What happened
My memories are interrupted as they begin to lower the casket into the ground. I see Carey breaking down into a mess of tears from across the way, Zack leaning down beside her for comfort. But I knew better than anyone. Nothing can comfort her. Her son is dead. The sight brings me down to earth, and I remember what's happening once again. I don't want to be here. I want to be home, with him, hugging him and kissing him.
I don't want it to be my fault. I don't want to miss him. I don't want to regret not holding him close every day and telling him I love him every chance I got. I don't want to regret all the stupid fights we had over nothing when we could have been laughing and fooling around. I don't want the people around me to suffer and I don't want to suffer, either.
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
'Cause they're all wrong
I've never contemplated ending my own life before, and I don't want to now. And yet, that's just what I'm doing. I want to be with him so badly, that I'd do just about anything.
The worst part of it is, I'm so mad at him for leaving me. Leaving me after he promised me he'd never leave me. If I can't trust him, who can I trust? Why did he do this to me?
That last kiss, I'll cherish
Until we meet again
"Are you sure you should be going out? It's freezing outside, plus, it's Saturday. All the loony drunks will be out," I told Cody gravely, but he reassuringly squeezed my hand.
"I'll be fine. I'll be back soon, I promise," and with that, he kissed me. At that point, I didn't know that he'd break his promise in many ways, all of which would break my heart.
And time makes it harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling, who knew?
What am I going to do now? I'm standing in a cold, lonely place surrounded by death. The only happiness in my broken life is gone now. Everyone has the left the cemetery except for me, so I take this opportunity to lay the lone red rose I was holding on top of his casket. As I turn around, my pent up emotions burst through me. I start sobbing uncontrollably, and I fall to my knees. The cold snow has no effect on me, and I stay in place.
Knowing Cody is just a couple of feet from me is almost too much to bear. It's like he's trapped, and I can't get him out. I stand back up, my sadness and heartache quickly turning into anger. I turn to face his casket, a face full of tears in the wake of it.
"How could you do this to me?! You promised me you'd stay with me forever! You promised you'd always catch me! You promised me you would come home that night! You're a liar! You left me with no one," I screamed at his casket, praying to God he could hear me. Speaking of God, it was time to turn my attention to him.
"And you! Why did you take him from me?! You knew how much I loved him! Please stop doing this to me!" I sobbed, shouting towards the sky.
"I thought he'd always be there. I thought he would hold on for me!" I cried, falling to my knees once more.
I came to find out that it's not about what you think, it's about what you know.
Who knew?
A/N: Wow, I got a little choked up toward the end there. I hope you guys liked it. I put a lot of work and emotion into it. Well, whether you liked it or not, you can tell me your opinion with a nice little review. Pweez? Anyways, I love, love, love you all! Happy Holidays! Ciao!
PS: This should come to light, as I've written this story, but: hold your loved ones tight, tell them you love them as often as possible and never take the people in your life for granted. It's just sad that some people have to learn that the hard way.
xoxo Trishy