"Zoloft 250 milligrams, Abilify 7 milligrams, Ativan 2 milligrams," Kid mumbled, arranging his six pills in a symmetrical pattern. He took one from each side and swallowed them at the same time, then the other two, then the last one.
He put on his clothes as he always did: underwear, shirt, pants, jacket, socks, shoes, rings. He brushed his hair so there were equal amounts of hair on each side. As he looked in the mirror, he saw the three white stripes on only one side of his head. Asymmetrical. Horrible. Wrong.
It's not even; not symmetrical. What's wrong with you? How are you going to step into your father's shoes to become Lord Death if you can't even make your appearance symmetrical? You're a horrible person. You deserve to die.
Kid took a deep breath. Breathe in for eight counts, hold for eight counts, breathe out for eight counts, trying to clear the intrusive thoughts from his mind. But they kept coming.
You're far from perfect. You're an abomination. You are a disgusting, filthy, asymmetrical excuse for a death god. You should just die. Die.
"Liz! Patty!" Kid cried, gripping the edges of the sink, his perfectly trimmed fingernails clinking on the tiles.
He heard the rushing of footsteps. Liz and Patty opened the door. They were greeted with a tearful and frustrated Kid.
Patty pulled Kid into a hug. "It's okay, Kid, the thoughts aren't real. They don't mean anything. They feel real, but they aren't. Just thoughts."
Liz stroked Kid's shoulder. "Did you take your meds?"
"Yes."
"And did you take them in asymmetrical patterns like the therapist told you
to?"
"I couldn't, Liz, I'm sorry, I just couldn't. We have to start with something
smaller. It's too difficult."
"Use the tools the doctor gave you. Use coping thoughts."
"The damned coping thoughts don't work! And the deep breathing doesn't
work either, I have to breath in eight counts or else I won't have piece of mind."
He slumped his shoulders, hanging his head in defeat.
"You're going to be okay, Kid, I promise," Patty said quietly.
Kid sighed. If only that were true.