What Was Broken
A Glee Fanfiction by Lonesome Bird
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Man, I am on a Faberry roll lately! I know that many of you were expecting the third chapter of All It Took, but this idea popped into my head last night and wouldn't leave. I hope you enjoy!
WARNING: ANGST AND CHARACTER DEATH AHEAD
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Guitar Hero.
Quinn is sitting on her bed on a Saturday night, bored out of her mind. It is 6:52 when she decides to text Rachel in an attempt to relieve the boredom. It still strikes her as odd that the two of them managed to form a friendship, despite their many years of catty fighting and slushies to the face. She simply smiles and picks up her phone.
Come over? I'm bored. :)
-Q
Quinn receives a reply a few minutes later.
Let me finish my vocal exercises first. I assume this will most likely be a sleepover?
-Rachel B. Berry
Of course. We'll watch Twilight and take a shot every time Kristin Stewart bites her lip.
-Q
Quinn! We might die of intoxication. You're terrible.
-Rachel B. Berry
You had better come over and stop me then. ;)
-Q
Be over in fifteen, pajamas and Tylenol in tow.
-Rachel B. Berry
See you soon.
-Quinn
Quinn sighs in contentment and shuts her phone. The suspicious fluttering in her stomach comes back when she thinks about Rachel, and she grimaces. Okay, so she might be just a little bit gay for Rachel Berry…or a lot gay. It wasn't anything that she couldn't deal with. A few extra prayers and a mental scolding every time that she stared a little too long at the tiny brunette's tan legs and she would be fine. Not that there was anything wrong with being gay, but still…she was Quinn Fabray. She wasn't supposed to like girls.
It is 7:32 when the knock at her door rouses Quinn. She rolls from her bed, a smile on her face, and opens her door.
"Took you long enough, Ra-"
It is not Rachel that stands in front of her, but a teary-eyed Judy Fabray.
"Mom? What's wrong?"
"Quinnie," her mother says, placing a hand on her shoulder. "There's been some bad news."
Quinn's heart stops and the feeling in her gut tells her what's coming next. She is silent, waiting for her mother to continue and praying that she is wrong in her predictions.
"Rachel was in a car accident. She died on the way to the hospital."
Quinn's legs give out beneath her and her chest freezes up. She can feel her mother's hands on her, rubbing soothing circles on her back, trying to get her to just breathe. A simple task, yet in this moment it seems impossible to do.
Judy eventually leaves Quinn on her floor, sensing that her daughter needs to be alone to grieve for a while. Before she leaves, she takes a blanket from the hall closet and drapes it over Quinn before she returns to her room to call the Hiram and Leroy Berry back.
It is 9:58 when Quinn looks at her clock again.
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When Quinn finds out that Rachel has been killed by a drunk driver, she swears off alcohol for forever. Judy Fabray hides all the alcohol in the house, mostly because it makes Quinn cry when she sees it.
She does not go to the wake, if simply for the fact that she cannot seem to get herself out of bed. The funeral is the day after and Quinn dresses up in a plain, black dress that her mother had bought her. When she arrives, she is surprised at how many people from McKinley are there, even those who had never known Rachel. Hell, some of them had even bullied her. She wants to scream at them to get out, that they were disrespecting Rachel by being here.
She doesn't.
She simply goes and sits with the rest of the glee club near the front. She sits next to Puck, who is looking glumly at the floor.
When she sees Hiram and Leroy, her heart breaks all over again, as they both look as if they have lost everything that has ever mattered to them. She feels that way too.
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Quinn doesn't cry when Rachel's body is lowered into the ground.
She feels empty, as if whatever was making her human is in the box that holds what is left of Rachel.
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Several weeks pass. To Quinn, it feels like several months. She sees hardly anyone other than her mother. Thank god it is summer and she doesn't have to go to school and see people. Quinn doesn't think that she would be able to handle that.
It is the first week of July when Quinn receives a text from Puck.
Party 2night at my place. Pls cum. Try and hve a good time 4 a little while.
-Puck
Quinn closes her phone, takes a deep breath, and rolls over on her back. She hasn't hung out with anyone all summer, despite Brittany and Santana's attempts to get her out of the house. She figures, why the hell not go?
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Quinn arrives at Puck's house twenty minutes later. The house is noisy and reeks of booze and smoke. Everyone seems surprised when she shows up. She receives a warm hug from Mike and Brittany when she sees them and a squeeze on the shoulder from Santana. Artie, Tina, Kurt, and Mercedes give her warm smiles, but stay their distance. Puck gives her a cheeky grin before returning to the game of beer pong he is playing. Sam is nowhere to be seen, which she is silently thankful for as he has been nothing but awkward since their breakup.
She notices Finn sitting on the sofa, nursing a beer and looking morose.
She makes her way over to him and sits down an appropriate distance away from him.
"Hey," he says softly.
"Hi," she replies.
They both sit quietly for the rest of the night, observing people coming and going, occasionally holding polite conversation with various football players, Cheerios, and gleeks that pass by.
There are only a few people milling about in the living room and a few soft tunes playing on Puck's speakers when Finn finally talks again.
"I can't believe she's gone," he says, keeping his eyes straight ahead.
"Me either," Quinn replies. Her eyes are dry, but she steals a quick glance at Finn. His are filled with unshed tears.
They don't say anything else. Quinn leaves a few minutes later, but not before giving Finn a small nod before she walks out the door. He smiles back at her.
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A few days later Finn texts her and asks if she wants to hang out in a completely "friends only" kind of way. She thinks about it for a few minutes and then responds with a yes.
Quinn hasn't been to Finn's house since she was kicked out for lying to Finn about Beth, so it isn't a surprise that Carol Hudson looks at her as if she has sprouted two heads when she answers the door. Fortunately, Finn is close behind and gives his mother a reassuring pat on the shoulder before letting Quinn in.
They eat pizza and watch a stupid action film, and Finn even teaches Quinn how to play Call of Duty. Quinn finds herself actually feeling good for the first time in a while. Not happy, but…okay. And that's more than she's felt in a long time.
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Quinn finds herself hanging out with Finn on a daily basis. She knows that she is not attracted to him, and she knows that in the time that she dated it was purely for the advancement of her own image, something that she feels guilty about. He's like the brother that she had always wanted. He could be dumb as a rock, and talks extensively about his drum set, music, and pizza, but at least he is kind and had a goofy smile that could raise her spirits.
They never talk about Rachel.
Quinn can feel the thought of her boiling under every conversation, dying to get out and to not be forgotten. Quinn knows that both of them want to talk about her more than anything, but they can't. It's too soon.
When they finally do talk about her, it is entirely unexpected.
They are both walking through down town, having just seen a movie and planning on heading to some new arcade that Finn can't keep his mouth shut about. Quinn finds that she is starting to become a video game junkie, much to her mother's chagrin and Finn's joy. They are walking and talking, Finn is laughing, and Quinn is even smiling a little bit.
Then Quinn sees it.
On the community theatre's "coming soon" sign, it says: COMING NEXT MONTH: WICKED.
Quinn is breaking down into tears before she even knows it. Finn is bewildered and unsure of what to do with the blonde, but he quickly comes to his senses and pulls her to his truck, which thankfully is parked very closely to where they are. He gets her in the passenger seat and then climbs in, his head grazing the ceiling.
"Quinn, what's wrong? Did I do something?"
She sobs some more, taking huge, heaving breaths and trying not to think of how terrible she looks. When she finally manages to calm down a bit, she turns to Finn, who has been silent. He looks expectantly back at her, wide-eyed.
"I'm sorry," she says.
"Do you want to talk about…it?" Finn asks, though Quinn can tell he already knows what she is upset about.
"Yes," she replies.
Quinn tells him about how seeing the theatre sign reminds her of Rachel singing "Defying Gravity," and how all the things she had been holding inside had come rushing back at that instant. She told him about how she could never sleep at night knowing Rachel's death was her fault and when she did finally sleep, all she dreamt of was Rachel, and that she missed her so much she couldn't breathe.
Finn listens to Quinn, his eyes never leaving her. Once she is done, he looks down at his hands, and then back at her.
"It's not your fault, Quinn. It was an accident, and the guy who hit her is in jail. You can't blame yourself for that, nothing good will come of it. And…I know we were broken up, but god, I loved her, Quinn. I really did. I would give anything to go back and repair what we had both broken. My biggest regret is never being able to tell her how sorry I was for everything, for the double standards I held and for never sticking up for her-"
Finn's voice cracks and he lowers his head in his hands. He lets out a huge sob, and Quinn feels for him. She rests her hand on his shoulder, and he leans over into her shoulder. She holds him tightly for a few minutes, knowing that it was good that they had both finally broken.
Now they could finally start to mend.
After Finn gets a hold of himself, he pulls out of Quinn's arms, wipes his eyes and says, "Thank you."
Quinn smiles softly and nods back.
Finn drives her home soon after, both having forgotten about the arcade.
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Neither of them speaks to one another the next day, and Quinn wonders if she's made some sort of mistake.
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The day after that, Finn texts her asking if she wants to hit the new arcade since they didn't get to the other day. She smiles and says, "of course."
When Quinn leaves, Judy Fabray is thankful to see that her daughter is no longer a shut-in, and resolves to thank Finn some day.
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The night it happens, Quinn is killing Finn's Guitar Hero scores. He huffs loudly behind her and complains that she is somehow cheating. Quinn lays the plastic guitar down on Finn's bed and taunts that he was just being a sore loser.
In one swift move, he pulls her in a kisses her lightly on the lips.
Quinn stiffens, her eyes going wide. She pushes him away quickly and takes a step back. Finn looks horrified at what he has done, and opens his mouth to say something. She holds up a hand and stops him.
"Finn, you know how you said that you loved Rachel?"
He nods, now looking confused.
"Well, I…I loved her too. I loved her in the way that you did."
Finn frowns for a moment, confusion evident on his face. Then, he gets it. His mouth forms a small "o," and he scratches his head. He sits down on the bed and Quinn slides down next to him.
"You did? Are you…?"
Quinn nods.
"Yes. I'm gay."
"Oh. Um...how long?"
"I didn't realize it until after Rachel and I became friends. But…I think I've always been this way. It would explain a lot about me."
"But what about you and me? And Sam? And I…you were in love with Rachel?"
"Yes." Quinn's voice breaks, and she finds that she is crying again. "I'm sorry."
Finn pulls her into a hug.
"It's okay," he says. "I'm here for you."
Once again, Quinn finds that they are crying together. It doesn't seem as awkward anymore.
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"Does your mom know?" Finn asks, throwing a football up in the air.
"No," Quinn says, letting out a grunt of annoyance when a Nazi zombie breaks through her barrier.
"You should tell her."
"I know."
"Did Rachel know?"
"Nope."
"…You should have told her. She always really liked you, you know. Even though you used to be pretty mean to her."
"…I know."
Quinn finds that it is much easier to talk about Rachel now, but only with Finn.
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Judy Fabray is sitting in the living room with a glass of vodka when her daughter comes in and sits down across from her.
"Hi, Quinnie," she says. "Is everything okay?"
There is a pregnant pause, and Judy sets her glass down on the table. Quinn looks as if she is about to cry.
"Yes, mom. Everything is fine. I just…I needed to tell you something. Something really important."
Judy shuts off the television and turns back to Quinn. She wonders if what her daughter is about to tell her has something to do with Rachel, though it has been almost two months since her death. She actually hopes it is. She doesn't think that she can take another pregnancy.
"What is it, baby? You know you can tell me anything."
Quinn closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and looks straight into Judy's eyes.
"I'm gay, mommy."
Another pause. A look of shock passes over Judy's face, and then softens into one of love. She holds out her arms to Quinn, who gladly falls into them. Quinn is trembling in her arms, obviously very afraid that there might be a repeat evening from her sophomore year.
"It's okay, Quinnie. I'm not mad at you."
"You aren't?" She asks from within Judy's arms.
"Well, it might take me a while to get used to the fact, but no. I still love you just the same, Quinn. I lost you once and I never want to lose you again. You're my daughter, no matter what."
Quinn wraps her arms around her mother in a tight embrace, and then pulls away. There are tears in both of their eyes. She looks back at her mother.
"I have one more thing to tell you."
"What is it, dear?"
"I was in love with Rachel."
Judy Fabray pulls her daughter back into her arms as she sobs. She cries along with her daughter.
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"So you finally told her?"
"Yeah."
"How did it go?"
"Well, I didn't get kicked out. She actually took it fairly well."
"Great. Now we can go cruising for chicks together!"
Quinn isn't sure whether Finn is kidding or not, but she can't help but laugh.
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It is the last day of summer, and Quinn is sitting at the park with Finn. They are both bummed about having to return to school, but hey, it is inevitable. They are sitting on the swings, watching the sun set and the remaining children run by. It is something that Rachel would have done with the both of them, though she probably would have insisted on singing to the children.
"We should do a song for her in glee club." Finn says with a grin.
Quinn hums in agreement.
"She would like that a lot."
Finn pushes off the ground, swinging back and forth slightly. A small, brown-haired girl runs by the two of them and sticks her tongue out at Finn. The two grin, and continue to watch the sun go down.
"Thanks for everything this summer, Quinn. I don't know if I would have made it without you."
"Me either."
Finn stands up and offers his hand out to her. She takes it, and he pulls her up into a hug.
"You know, it's always going to be hard. But I bet Rachel is really proud of us for overcoming this. She wouldn't want us to be sad for the rest of our lives. She wanted us to be happy."
Quinn smiles and agrees. She doesn't know if she believes in heaven or hell anymore. She's gone through many changes in her life that have made her question in everything that she previously had faith in. But, Quinn was certain of one thing: if there was a heaven, Rachel was there, proud that the two of them were able to repair what was broken.
Hope you guys enjoyed it! This is different than what I normally do, but I had a lot of fun writing it.
-LB :)