Title: Healing the Tears
Rating: PG
Summary: [GSR] Sara breaks down in front of Grissom after the events of "Bloodlines".
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. Heck, if I did, I wouldn't be posting it in the Internet.
A/N: This is just some little emotional thing I though up in a few hours. I've been HOOKED on the whole Bloodlines thing ever since it aired. This is only one of those pre-Bloodlines stories...;)
PROLOUGE
When I received that call, I was horrorstruck.
"Is she alright?"
The officer calmly explained to me what had happened.
"Technically, she's over, but they just lowered the limit, so we cut her a break and didn't book her."
We walked through the halls, thankfully not to he holding cells, but to the waiting room.
"But we did have to call her supervisor."
That supervisor in question being me. But I didn't seem like a supervisor to her anymore. I felt more like a monster.
We halted at the entrance to the waiting room, and I silently dismissed the officer. There she was, sitting on one of the seats farthest from the door. I slowly walked to her, hoping to catch a glimpse of her beautiful face, but was given nothing. I sat down next to her, and felt something radiating from her body --- not warmth. Something much colder.
She needed me.
I needed her.
So I reached out and took her hand in mine. I didn't just cup her hand, or pat it lightly. I interlaced my fingers with hers, reaching into every freezing crevice and bringing warmth to it. She must have known what that supposedly meant.
Love.
She only responded by dropping her head. She couldn't look at me, although I needed her to, to satisfy myself. I thought she was getting weak.
But she wasn't crying. She was pulling herself through this without shedding a tear. She was strong.
Sara fumbled with her keys and shoved them in the lock, with Grissom standing right behind her. She pushed the door open, and with an almost dramatic sigh, stepped into her apartment. Grissom slowly followed her in as he watched her remove her jacket, letting it fall in a dark heap in the floor, then meander over to her poofy couch. She sat down stiffly and ran her hands through her hair.
"Sara," Grissom said as he walked to her, "you should relax. This has been a hard night."
Silence was all he received from her.
"What do you do when you're up-tight?" he pushed. "Read, watch a little TV, maybe sleep..."
He mentally kicked himself for the last one.
I shouldn't have said that...
"I thought you said I never slept," her dull tone entered the conversation.
Oh, yeah I saw that coming. Smooth, Grissom.
With a flip of her brunette hair, Sara stood and said, "I'm going to take a shower. Make yourself at home."
That didn't exactly sound welcoming.
Sara made her way towards a hallway off from her living room and, within seconds, disappeared. Grissom stood rooted to his spot for a moment, then silently went to take Sara's place on the couch. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, as the migraine that threatened him only once a year returned a second time.
This isn't Sara. I know it. This isn't the bright, young scientist I called to Las Vegas. She evolved. She's changed. All that was once great about her is gone, scattered to the winds. And she got this way because of me. I waited too long. She gave me a second chance at life, and I stupidly refused it. Now her soul is broken, broken into tiny shards and as much as I want to help her, to pick up the pieces and put them back together, she won't allow it. Let's face it. I'm not part of her life anymore.
Around twenty minutes later, Sara emerged from the hallway.
Grissom hadn't exactly made himself at home, but he had taken a well-deserved rest that had cleared up his migraine.
Well, migraine's gone, but that doesn't mean I'm not in pain anymore.
Grissom turned to look at her, and found that he had to clench his teeth to prevent his jaw from dropping. Sara hadn't gotten dressed, as he had expected, but instead wore a lavender-purple bathrobe with a matching sash tied tightly around her skinny waist. The skin around her neck was greatly exposed, as were her ankle and feet. She had obviously blown-dry her hair and brushed it out.
She walked into the middle of the living room gracefully, and Grissom was still fighting back his male instincts.
She's...she's so beautiful.
She slowed and just stood there, as if she wasn't aware of Grissom's presence there on the couch. Her back was to him, and Grissom wondered what was going on.
His question was answered when Sara dropped to her knees on the carpet.
Grissom flew to her side instantly, fearing that perhaps she was ill, but when he heard the distinct sound of crying, he realized she was fighting her own emotional battle.
No...Sara, please...honey, don't cry.
He went around to her front and knelt before her, taking both her hands in his and stroking them gently with her thumbs. She jerked away form him and covered her face, hiding it in her hands, wanting to hide her weakness form him. He placed his hands on her arms and lifted her to her feet.
"Oh, honey..." he said softly. "C'mere."
Grissom wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace, and friendly, comforting one. She molded to him, sobbing endlessly into his shirt, and snaked her arms around his waist, clinging onto him like her life depended on it. Grissom ran a hand over her hand lovingly, and then allowed Sara to rest her head on his shoulder. He took a moment to breath deep the smell of her lilac-scented shampoo, then focused on the real matter at hand. Grissom pivoted his head and kissed her on the back of her head. She took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. Sara's right hand lots it's grip and fell to her side. Grissom absentmindedly groped for it, letting her fingers interlace with hers. She sighed again.
"C'mon," he whispered. "Let's sit down."
Sara reluctantly tore herself from him, but instead of walking to the couch alone, Grissom slid a hand around her waist and escorted her there.
The cushions dipped. Grissom sat down fist, all the way to the left side. Sara sat down next to him, but didn't keep her position. She turned and leaned back, letting her head rest on he armrest, and curled up into a ball-like position.
Grissom sat rigid, astounded at what was happening to Sara.
She's...de-materializing. She's going from everything to nothing in just one night.
What have I done?
Grissom touched her cheek tenderly, thumb rubbing over the salty, drying tear trails. He gently turned her face to look her straight in the eyes.
"Sara...you can't let this affect you. Everyone makes mistakes in life."
The onslaught of tears returned, and Sara closed her eyes to blink them away. "You...you have no...idea h-how big a mistake t-this is...to me," she managed between sobs.
"Sara...please..." Grissom said, tears threatening him as well, "I never want to see you cry."
Now she was crying again, forming new trails on her skin, despite Grissom's attempt to wipe away the old ones.
"Grissom...I'm not strong."
"Don't say that. You're a strong young woman."
Her words began running into each other as she spoke faster. "No, I'm not -- - I everyone thinks I am, but I'm not. I-I...I need someone in my life to support me."
Grissom gently put an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. "I've wanted to do that for...so long."
Sara stopped sobbing, if only for a moment, to look at Grissom.
"You don't deserve to have an unhappy life, Sara," he went on. "you've worked too hard for that to happen."
Sara was dead silent, her bottom lip quivering at the sheer emotion in his words.
"We've held back for too long, Sara. I should have told you this years ago, when this all started."
Sara held her breath.
Just say it. Let it out. If there's anyone she needs now, it's you.
"I love you." His head fell. He couldn't look at her.
Sara couldn't hold back the tears this time. As the tiny drops rolled down her face, she hoisted herself up, wrapped her arms around Grissom's neck, and buried her face in it.
Sara kissed his tan skin. "I love you too," she whispered.
Oh...
The two willingly gave themselves to this moment, their heavy breathing slowing and their hearts pounding as one. Sara stroked his chest with a shaky hand. Grissom closed his eyes, taking in all the sensations, all the emotions, and her presence with his. She snuggled closer to him, if that could even be done.
"Grissom... Sara said, her hand finding his cheek and turning it, "look at me."
He did.
Sara scanned his features, and then said, "The first time I ever met you, I couldn't keep myself from staring into your eyes." She ran a hand down from his temple to his chin. "I still can't, and now...I can't resist the face they belong to."
Grissom managed one of his half-smiles, and Sara one of hers.
After everything I've put her through, all the pain she's had to endure from my doing...she still smiles. She is strong.
The tension was growing; it was now or never.
Before Grissom could even lift a finger, Sara's hand slid to the back of his head and pulled his lips to hers.
All the love and passion he had saved for this woman was released in a single fleeting instant. Sara deepened the kiss, and Grissom pushed back at her with equal force. Her head tipped back against the armrest. Her hand traveled down his back, gently squeezing the taut muscles to relieve him of stress. His hands came up to frame her face, to keep her steady keep her close to him. They continued for one more ecstatic minute, and then Grissom slowly pulled away from her, the taste of her lips still in his mouth. Sara batted her eyelids at him, then reclaimed his neck with her arms.
"Sara?" Grissom said. "Do me a favor?"
"Hmm?"
"Don't tell the others about this."
Sara smiled and nuzzled his neck.
"It'll be our little secret.'
And they fell into peaceful sleep, safe in each other's arms.
When she came to Las Vegas, when I first saw that thousand-watt gin on her face at the hotel, I could see her happiness.
When she brought me warm drinks and a blanket when I studied post-mortem insect growth, I could feel her love.
When I told her I had only been interested in beauty since I met her, I could sense her surprise.
When she asked me to dinner, and I declined, I was struck with her sadness.
When I pinned her that sheet, I could smell her female scent, and it intoxicated me.
When I talked to Lurie, I knew something inside me was changing...drastically.
And when I held her hand, cradling it in mine...I could feel the pain and cold inside her. The pain I needed to heal.
I healed it.
EPILOUGE
"Hey."
The three beings in the breakroom --- Catherine, Warrick, and Nick --- lifted their heads from their coffee cups to see the speaker.
"Hey, Sara, you're back!" Nick said energetically.
"Griss told us about your vacation. You all rested?" Warrick said.
Sara shrugged.
Catherine got up from her seat to throw out her styrofoam cup and said to Sara, "You needed the rest, girl. We're just happy to have you back." She patted her on the shoulder.
Sara smiled at this friendly gesture and went to make herself a cup of coffee. She then found a seat next to Nick at the table. Just as she had made herself comfortable, a figure appeared in the doorway. One she knew all too well by now.
"Your assignments," Grissom said, holding up sheets of paper. He eyed Sara for a moment, something that etched a confused look onto the faces of their colleagues and went to the table. Catherine reclaimed her seat and waited for her case.
"Catherine, your case: Carl Johnson, a golf ball salesman, woke up this morning only to find a dead woman in his bed with her skull bashed in. Carl claims that the last thing he remembers is having drinks at a strip club and seems to think that the woman drugged him. Have fun."
Catherine accepted the sheet and said, "Solo?"
"All by yourself," Grissom responded.
Catherine arched an eyebrow, arose from her seat, and high-tailed it out of there.
"Nick and Sara..." Grissom continued, "you two get to work a body found just outside of Area 51...an alleged alien lifeform."
A wide-eyed Nick took the paper from Grissom and said, "You're kidding me, right?"
Grissom held up his hands. "No joke."
Nick chuckled and showed the case form to Sara. She chuckled as well, and silently thanked Grissom for giving her an interesting case on her first day back. She took a sip of her coffee, wishing she could at least finish it before they left.
As of reading her mind, Grissom said, "You can finish your coffee first, Sara."
Sara stared at him.
"Warrick, you and I have a shooting death of a man at a night club, Shimmer in fact. Greg found himself a replacement, so he's coming along."
Warrick narrowed his eyes. "Who's the replacement?"
"Chandra Moore. You'll meet her soon enough," he said.
Warrick let out a long breath of air and got up from his seat, just as Sara finished her coffee and got up as well. Nick joined her.
The four remaining CSIs walked to the door. Grissom stopped suddenly and grabbed Sara's arm, holding her back from leaving.
"Nick, Warrick, just go out to the Tahoes. We'll be out in a minute."
The two men nodded, but Nick was curious. He made a right turn with Warrick to the parking lot, about instead of following through, he ducked in a vacant lab and poked his head out slightly to eavesdrop on Grissom and Sara's conversation.
"Sara," Grissom breathed in the brunette's ear, "you never told me what time we're having dinner."
Sara smiled. "How's nine 'o' clock on Friday?"
Grissom returned a smile. "Perfect."
Sara turned and whispered, "I love you," and kissed his cheek.
Grissom wrapped his arm around her waist and walked with her down the hallway to the parking lot, right past the lab where Nick was hiding. Sara rested her head on Grissom's shoulder and smiled.
Nick moved deeper into the lab, out of sight.
When the couple had passed, Nick's jaw dropped. He walked out into the hall, staring at his colleagues' sudden public display of affection, and muttered, "I'm not going to sleep easy today."