Relationships are wonderful things aren't they? It's nice having someone who loves and cherishes you, thinking the world of you. Someone who you can share your deepest and darkest secrets with, knowing they won't judge you. They love you for who you are, not how you look or what you've done in the past. They don't try and change you, yet support you if you ever wish to change yourself.
When you're in love you seem to be so much happier, especially when you are with your beloved. It could be that you are having a day out at a park or a beach, maybe even a theatre or an amusement park. Maybe you are having a quiet day in after a few long and hard days of working. Regardless of where you are or what you're doing, being with your partner is a joyous and pleasant time. You may not be doing anything more than chatting while sitting next to them, or you might be tangled together in bed during more amorous activities.
I've seen my fair share of couples milling around both Ikebukuro and Shinjuku. Many of them happy and infatuated with their respective partners, some were content, the initial flames of their romances having simmered down somewhat. There was also a small minority, a few couples who no longer loved each other, but there was no hate either. They were friends, remaining together for either financial benefits or other conveniences. I was not surprised to see one couple rowing over debts, infidelity or other familial ills.
I myself tend to try and stay away from relationships of the amorous sort. I have my family and a friend or two for company. I am by no means a shut in, but I am content with my circle of social relations. I talk to many people on a daily basis, it comes with the job. I have to converse with those I come in contact with and therefore I cannot afford but be a shut in, an introvert if you will. I have my reasons for not wanting a partner, past relationships either didn't work out, or I was using them for one thing or another. Granted I have grown out of my selfish ways, well mostly anyway. I still think about myself more than others, but I no longer use people for my own gains.
Due to these past experiences, one in particular, I no longer even entertain the notion, the idea of having a romantic partner. I have no desire for company, for someone living in my apartment with me, caring for and about me. Might I change my opinion on this matter? It's possible; however it would take someone quite special and stubborn to ensure that. I wish to be alone, though that may change, who knows?
As for this past experience which for lack of better wording, broke me, it's simple really. I 'the great Izaya Orihara' am not as invincible as I may appear. I too have lapses in judgement; I make mistakes just like anyone else. I trusted a man more that I should have. I let him in, where not even family had been, he knew me inside and out then used what he knew against me.
If I told you that I had unwittingly and unknowingly entered what would become an abusive relationship, would you believe me? Of course you wouldn't, all I do is lie… isn't that right, Shiki-san? ~