Detective Conan
Seeking Comfort
by
Sgamer82

Bodies surrounded her. Some were face down, others face up with vacant eyes turned towards her. Most of the bodies were children. Children who had committed no crime except knowing her. They were her classmates, and they were dead and dying because of her.

In the center of them all was a man. An adult man with long silver hair dressed all in black. He has just used his gun on the only other adult in the room.

"Sensei..." she sobbed. She was frozen in place. She couldn't move. Didn't dare move. Finally the man in black turned, pointed his gun at her and pulled the trigger.

Instead of a muzzle flash, a bang, and a bullet, she heard only the click of an empty chamber.

"Guess we'll be doing this the old fashioned way, Sherry."

The silver haired man discarded his weapon and walked to her. He was so much larger than she was in her first grader's body. His hand reached out, grabbed her neck, and lifted her into the air.

The man began to squeeze and, as life left her, she heard the man speak.

"Sherry..." the man rasped.

Contrary to popular fiction, it is not common for a person to wake from a nightmare by sitting up bolt upright and screaming. For that reason, what Ai Haibara did instead was open her eyes with no sound other than a sharp gasp of air. She lay in her bed for a several seconds, her heart pounding and her breathing heavy as her rational mind worked to take over from the panic induced by her dream. She ran her hands across her neck as if to confirm that she was, in fact, not being strangled after all. Once she was sure of that she was able to slow her breathing back to a normal pace. Thanks to that, her heart rate lowered. Once she had her bearings Haibara sat up. The digital clock read just past midnight, prompting a sigh.

"Figures," she muttered.

If it were closer to the morning she could at least just get up early. Now it was either go back to sleep or stay up all night. Neither option held much appeal. For obvious reasons sleep was not happening anytime soon. She was a night owl by nature so staying up wouldn't be bad except she had school in the morning. It wasn't worth the grief of dealing with Kudo's tiresome "evil-eyed yawning girl" remarks; nor did she have any desire to have her teacher Kobayashi get upset with her for nodding off in class. Her normal sluggishness in the mornings had already earned a few pointed notes to Professor Agasa about how many hours of sleep per day children needed.

A mental image of Kobayashi being executed flashed into Haibara's mind. She shook her head to get rid of it, shaking away a few tears in the process.

Nothing has happened to Sensei and you know it, she told herself firmly.

She looked to her left, to the other bed set up in the room, and saw the Professor snoring away.

Not a care in the world, Haibara thought bitterly. No repeated visions of people wanting him wiped clean from the face of the Earth.

She threw her pillow at him. It was a foolish and immature impulse and she knew it. It also hadn't done anything. The pillow landed beside him on his bed and he just kept snoring.

At times like this Haibara would admit, if only to herself, that she envied her younger friends. She was certain that if one of them had a bad dream they could get comfort from their parents. A promise that nothing was wrong or would hurt them. The Organization's idea of child rearing had been the intellectual equivalent of the Spartan Way. When seven year-old Shiho Miyano had experienced a bad dream, her caretakers informed her in no uncertain terms that her fears were ridiculous and irrational before ordering her back to bed. The method had worked in the sense that she was holding a college degree when others her age had been starting middle school. In hindsight, it left a lot to be desired in other areas.

Also in hindsight, Haibara was realizing this train of thought was not making sleep look any more attractive. She slid off of her bed and headed to the kitchen for a drink. She didn't bother with any lights. She didn't feel like blinding herself with sudden light on top of losing sleep. In any case, the moonlight in the windows was plenty to see by.

Knowing she had to go back to sleep, like it or not, Haibara warmed a cup of milk in the microwave. Afterward, as she sat at the table with her drink, she occasionally heard a rattling noise. It seemed to be coming from the kitchen itself, but she couldn't determine where in the kitchen. After a few minutes searching for the sound she looked down at the table and realized what it was.

The rattle sound was coming from Haibara's cup as it vibrated against the table. The reason it was doing that, Haibara realized, was because her hands were shaking. She immediately released the cup and held her hands in front of herself. She watched them shake for a few seconds more before clenching her hands into fists and willing them to stop. When she opened her hands again they still shook. Haibara watched her hands in a horrified fascination. Was she experiencing some kind of delayed reaction? Had this been happening the entire time and she only just noticed?

Vacant eyes stared at her.

Stop this, Shiho, she told herself. She tried to make her inner voice sound like her childhood caretakers. Your fears are ridiculous and irrational. The sooner you realize this, the better. Now get back to bed.

Except, Haibara realized, my fear isn't irrational. It isn't ridiculous to be afraid when you know people want you dead. When you know that they would harm the ones you love just because they knew you...

Her vision suddenly started to blur. When she blinked it felt wet. She realized immediately what she was doing and brought her hand up to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Damn..." Haibara muttered. Then slammed her hands on the counter and shouted. "Damn it!"

Haibara ran back to the bedroom, abandoning her cup and paying no attention to the noise she was making. She got into her bed and tried to make herself sleep so she wouldn't have to deal with this. She shut her eyes and tried to find a comfortable position to no avail. After a few moments of frustrated failure, she happened to look to the left and see her pillow on the Professor's bed.

Oh, right, Haibara thought. She had momentarily forgotten about it. Deciding that even a marginal increase in comfort couldn't hurt, she got up to retrieve the pillow. Haibara noticed as she approached that the Professor had ceased snoring. She reached out for the pillow, then hesitated as a thought occurred to her. She shook her head

I must be desperate to even consider...

Consider she did, though, now that the thought had occurred to her. A part of her knew the Professor, while finding it odd, wouldn't object. The rational, adult part of her mind told her it shouldn't make any actual difference, either way. The part of her that knew the Professor wouldn't mind also understood rational thought wasn't a factor.

"Sherry..."

Haibara's trembling body seemed to move on its own. Rather than reclaim her pillow and go to sleep in her bed, she left it where it was and laid herself down next to Professor Agasa.

Haibara's eyes tried to close themselves tighter as morning sunlight hit them. Even as she pulled her blanket over her head she thought that was odd. Her bed was on the far end of the room, where the sunlight wouldn't reach until late enough that she was usually able to make herself get out bed anyway. That wasn't an issue at all on school days, since the Professor would make sure she dragged herself out of bed with plenty of time.

The Professor...

Haibara suddenly opened her eyes and immediately shut them again after getting a face full of morning. She sat up and opened her eyes more gradually while blinking the spots out. Once her vision was clearer she became aware of two things. First was that she was in the wrong bed. That was easily explained by Haibara's own impulsiveness. The second thing she realized, to her horror, was that Professor Agasa was not in bed. He had awoken and gotten up before she had.

"Ai-kun!" the Professor's voice called, as if on cue. "Are you awake?"

"Um... yes," Haibara replied with more hesitation than was typical of her.

"Would you come to the kitchen, please?" the Professor called back.

With a resigned sigh, Haibara nervously made her way to the kitchen. She wondered just how she would explain her behavior. It would be quite the task since, now that the night was past and morning was here, Haibara herself wasn't entirely sure what had gotten into her. When she entered the kitchen, the Professor was at the sink. She could hear water running.

"Good morning, Professor," Haibara said.

"Good morning, Ai-kun," he replied without turning around. "I'll start breakfast soon, but before I do I needed to talk to you."

Here it comes, Haibara thought.

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't leave half full cups out all night." The Professor held up the half empty milk cup Haibara had left on the table. The Professor had been washing it, but a faint smell of spoiled milk lingered in the air. Haibara blinked. That had not been what she was expecting. The Professor continued.

"I've already washed it, so it isn't a problem this time. In any case, I suppose it's good to know you've figured out something for those nights you can't sleep well."

"I did?" Haibara asked. Between the swerve this conversation had taken, her own embarrassment, and the fact that it was morning, her usual level of wit was not yet in full force.

"Tomato juice tends to do it for me, but to each their own." Professor Agasa shrugged. "I can't argue with the results. You were so tired you got into my bed instead of your own."

"I did..." Haibara said as her mind began catching up at last. "I did." Haibara cleared her throat. "My apologies."

"It's fine." Professor Agasa waved away Ai's apology. "I didn't mind. Now I'll go ahead and get breakfast made while you get ready for school."

After they had finished breakfast, Ayumi and the boys had arrived to get Ai so they could all walk to school together. Hiroshi Agasa couldn't help noticing that Ai seemed especially happy, even relieved, to see her friends that morning.

If they were in her nightmare, no wonder Ai-kun was so shaken up, Agasa thought.

Agasa was more aware of Ai's nightmares than Ai herself would prefer to acknowledge. He had tried before to bring the issue up with her, only for Ai to rebuff him each time, insist nothing was wrong, and become angry if he pressed the issue. Agasa had let Ai have her way, since it seemed her bad dreams had started to occur less often.

Unfortunately, it seemed to Agasa that Ai's nightmares had begun to trade frequency for intensity. For that reason, he understood last night must have been especially bad for her. He awoke last night at some point during Ai's yelling and run back to their bedroom. He had woken up enough to realize there was no actual danger, despite the noise. Ai wouldn't let him sleep through that. She hadn't so much as tried to wake him, so he kept his eyes shut and himself quiet as he heard her toss and turn. Agasa had assumed it was a nightmare and knew she would not appreciate his concern. He was surprised when he felt Ai lay down next to him. He had opened his eyes and had been about to ask what Ai was doing when he saw she had fallen asleep almost immediately. He couldn't bring himself disturb her after that.

The fact Ai had neglected her cup was another sign the night had been hard on her. She was far more conscientious than that about leaving things out. More than Agasa himself generally was, that was certain. Thanks to that, fortunately, the Professor had been able to offer an excuse for last night Ai's pride could latch onto as an out. He knew she would be horribly embarrassed at her moment of weakness after the fact, so he ensured she wouldn't have to worry about what he'd thought of the incident. Professor Agasa knew that at some point he and Ai would need to have a frank discussion about her dreams. She probably knew that, too, even if she was far less eager to accept it. He wasn't excited about the idea either, but that didn't mean it wouldn't need doing.

For now, until they were both ready for that conversation, he could at least spare Ai some embarrassment and wish her a good day at school.

Author's Note: "Intellectual equivalent of the Spartan Way" and "face full of morning" are two turns of phrase I will definitely be keeping in the back of my mind for later use.