Instead of in New York
They say the first day is always the hardest. Blaine wished this to be true more than anything. Summer was over, senior year had started with the all to familiar insults, slushies and locker shoves for the drastically reduced New Directions. Four of the now Eight members were feeling the agony of separation - but at least the others looked remotely happy - ... well except Tina who hadn't stopped crying all day. But then again, when doesn't Tina cry ? Blaine physically couldn't cry right now. He wasn't even sure if he had enough energy or even enough tears left to carry out the action. He was incapable of showing any emotions at all today.
Blaine felt as if every second, another piece of his heart packed up and flew off to New York to join Kurt, leaving a searing pain that never ceased. Seconds ticked by like years. It was as if time was laughing at him and multiplying itself constantly to put even more time between himself and the end of the year. More time between him and his love.
Blaine hadn't been able to concentrate on anything today. How could he be expected to ? How could he possibly focus on school if all he could think about was Kurt ? He wondered if Kurt was feeling the same way. Probably not. Why should he sit and think about Blaine back in Lima when he had the amazing New York life to look forward to ? NYADA. Living with his best friend and step-brother. It was this thought that had been plaguing Blaine's mind all day.
What if Kurt forgot him ? Forgot all about his silly boyfriend back in Lima that hadn't even graduated school yet ? What if Kurt found someone new all the excitement of New York ? I'm sure Chandler would be more than happy to- Stop it Blaine, he cut himself off. Kurt won't forget you. Chandler is out of the picture. Nothing ever happened. You just have to trust that skype calls and weekend visits will be enough. Blaine mentally told himself.
Trudging down the halls to Glee, looking at the ground, Blaine felt two hands on his shoulder pushing him roughly into the cool metal of a nearby locker. Chest pressed against the locker, he heard the deep chorus of laughter from the group of Jocks that he hadn't noticed approach him. The odd insult thrown in to the sound. He heard the footsteps fade away down the corridor, mixing with the squeak of their trainers on the freshly cleaned floor. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Blaine straightened himself up and prepared to continue the rest of the short walk to the choir room when he realised for the first time his location in the school. The locker that he was still facing wasn't just some random one, it was Kurt's locker.
Memories flooded to him as he stood and stared at metal. Memories from last Christmas came rushing to him as he remembered his promises in front of this locker. His promise to always love Kurt. His promise to always defend Kurt even if he knew Kurt was wrong. His promise to surprise Kurt. His promise to always pick up Kurt's calls no matter what he is doing. His promise to bake Kurt cookies at least twice a year and to kiss Kurt whenever and wherever Kurt wants. His promise to make sure that Kurt always remembers how perfectly imperfect he is. Their promise.
He remembered the picture that used to hang in here. The letters cut out of magazines, arranged to spell one word… Courage.
Blaine gasped and stepped back, ramming into a dazed looking freshman that was walking the corridors behind him. Without even a look or apology at the boy, Blaine sprinted to the nearest bathroom, feeling hot tears already forming in his eyes, threatening to, at any moment, release a bitter fall of water down his colourless cheeks. He wouldn't cry here. He couldn't cry here. Not where the entire school would be waiting with their questions that would more than likely lead to a fully blown breakdown. He discretely wiped a stray drop from his cheek before running straight into the thankfully unoccupied bathroom and slamming and locking the stall door. Dropping his bag to the floor with a bit more force than necessary, He sank to the floor and let the tears he had withheld for so long fall freely while he hugged his knees tightly to his chest.
He cried for the pain in separation.
He cried for his immense love for Kurt.
He cried for all of the thoughts he had tried so hard to keep from dominating his mind.
He cried for all of the tears he had withheld when he watched Kurt walk towards the gate in the airport when he left.
He cried because he felt he should be allowed to cry and feel sorry for himself this once.
But most of he cried because, god, he missed Kurt.
Little did Blaine know as he sobbed quietly in the near deserted McKinley High, that a certain porcelain skinned boy sat in the exact same position in a little School called NYADA in New York because he was missing his boyfriend.
Despite how much Blaine just wanted to just drive home right now and cry some more, he didn't want to miss glee completely on the first day back. Drying his eyes on his sleeve, Blaine slowly rose and half walked half ran to the choir room. Slowing just before the door to calm himself once again before taking a deep breath and walking in to face his peers.
"Sorry" he mumbled as he slid into the room to sit in the back.
One look at Blaine and Mr Schue understood. He didn't even say anything. Just a quick nod of the head and an apologetic look before he resumed what he was saying.
"Blaine, we were just discussing how we are going to recruit new members to replace the ones we lost". Mr Schue told him with a smile. One look at Tina, Artie, Brittany, Sam, Joe, Rory and Sugar told Blaine that they were thinking the same thing he was... Replace?
"Replace ?" Blaine asked with a questioning look before he could stop himself. Mr Schue looked at him strangely before continuing, not understanding what Blaine had meant.
"Yes. We are down in numbers and we need to find a way to recruit-"
"I know." Blaine cut him off. "No offence Mr Schue but I don't really want to replace anyone we lost last year. I understand that we need more members but I don't really want to talk about replacing my friends. I don't think any of us do". A quiet murmur of a "No" could be heard amongst the group of teens.
"Well OK then" Mr Schue said trying to find something else to say. "Does anyone want to sing anything today?" He continued. Searching the room hoping for a volunteer. He found one. Blaine's hand subconsciously reached upward and suddenly Mr Schue was calling on him to come forward.
Blaine rose from his seat slowly and took a position in front of the club. He motioned for Brad and the band to start playing and Blaine closed his eyes. He took a long breath before singing the first line of the song that had been constantly on repeat since Kurt left.
If you were here beside me instead of in New York
If the curve of you was curved on me
I'd tell you that I loved you before I ever knew you
'Cause I loved the simple thought of you
Tina and Sugar had began silently crying as Blaine sang the soft melody. It didn't need an explanation. The first line said it all. Tina had somehow taken her phone out at the start of the song and was filming with a shaky hand. Blaine continued
If our hearts are never broken and there's no joy in the mending
There's so much this hurt can teach us both
There's distance and there's silence, your words have never left me
They're the prayer that I say every day
Come on, come out, come here, come here
Come on, come out, come here, come here
Come on, come out, come here, come here
Come on, come out, come here, come here
Sam, Joe and Rory were all giving Blaine apologetic looks as a single tear escaped from Blaine's eye. As he reached up to wipe it away, Artie, Brittany and Mr Schue smiled at him, each proud of Blaine for being brave enough to sing this song for Kurt. For showing them what he felt. They knew he was hurting. They knew it was hard. It was hard for all of them.
The lone neon nights and the ache of the ocean
And the fire that was starting to spark
I miss it all, from the love to the lightning
And the lack of it snaps me in two
If you were here beside me instead of in New York
In the arms you said you'd never leave
More tears had started to fall as Blaine remembered Kurt's promise to never say goodbye to him on the steps in the McKinley courtyard more than a year ago.
I'd tell you that it's simple and it was only ever thus
There is nowhere else that I belong
Come on, come out, come here, come here
Come on, come out, come here, come here
Come on, come out, come here, come here
Come on, come out, come here, come here
The lone neon nights and the ache of the ocean
And the fire that was starting to spark
I miss it all from the love to the lightning
And the lack of it snaps me in two
Just give me a sign, there's an end and not beginning
To the quiet chaos driving me mad
The lone neon nights and the walls of the ocean
And the fire that is starting to go out
As the song faded out, silence fell over the room as Blaine stood still in place and let even more tears fall without a care. Tina rose from her chair and went to the crying boy, embracing him in a hug, still crying herself. Soon the rest of the New Directions and Mr Schue followed as they all reminded each other that they would get through this together.
Removing herself from the hug, Tina took her phone and quickly opened a message,
File: Blaine-New York
Send to: Kurt.
A/N - Song used is Snow Patrol - New York. I heard it a while back and thought the lyrics fitted Klaine perfectly. This is my first Klaine fic. Hope you liked it. Reviews ? Follow me on Twitter Clo_CrissColfer.