Warning: some language

I thought I'd try my hand at writing from Draco's POV. This story is set in 'Half-blood Prince' and offers some insight of Draco's inner turmoil and cool/crumbling outward appearance. I loved this scene in the books and in the film, but I felt like it didn't show enough how Draco suffered in the film.

Potter, Weasley and Granger. The Golden Trio. Draco sneered at the threesome. They were sitting in the Great Hall, listening to another one of Dumbledore's ridiculous speeches that made absolutely no sense at all. Potter was sitting there all pompous. The Weaselette was nearly drooling on her second-hand robes. It was disgusting. You could see just the sort of environment Weasley came from. He stuffed as much food as he could into his mouth and proceeded to talk with his mouth full. How could anyone at that table still have any appetite left? Granger slapped her boyfriend around and looked most annoyed. At least she didn't treat Weasel-bee as if he was anything special. But she was a mudblood.

He hadn't said that word out loud again. He had seen the look on her face when he called her a mudblood for the very first time. His mask began to crack. He had trouble keeping a straight face nowadays. The Dark Lord had called him forward and made him one of his loyal followers and was given a task. At the time it seemed like the grandest thing, but the more he thought about it, the more he realised that it was impossible to achieve. Even the Dark Lord himself had never been able to kill Dumbledore. And now he was supposed to do it; a sixteen year old boy who didn't even know how to kill someone. He knew the killing curse of course, but if he was powerful enough to do it … Aunt Bella made him practise on some animals that she found in the garden. Hedgehogs, spiders, snakes … He never successfully killed any of those animals. Bella did.

And then that idiot Potter on the train to Hogwarts. It still made Draco's blood boil. That four-eyed git always did put his nose in where it didn't belong. Saint Potter. He should really be taught to mind his own fucking business. It was a pity that he had been found by Loony Lovegood and that that crazy witch repaired his nose successfully. It would have been fun to see Potter with a disfigured nose or something, but Loony pulled it off.

Dumbledore was saying something that had every student on the edge of their seats. Draco couldn't be bothered listening to that old coot anymore. He had to listen to his drivel for five years and that was five years too many. His father wanted him at Durmstrang, but his mum said it was too far away. He wished he'd gone to Durmstrang. Perhaps he wouldn't be in the mess he was in now and Durmstrang wouldn't have Harry Potter. Saint Potter got everything handed to him on a silver platter. He never had to do anything to get what he wanted.

After the welcoming feast Draco went to his dormitory, deep in thought. He knew what he had to do and he had one year to get it done. But how to do it? Dumbledore was never alone, he was a very powerful wizard, so powerful in fact, that the Dark Lord hadn't been able to kill him. None of the Death Eaters had been able to kill him. The Ministry couldn't catch him when Dolores Umbridge invaded the school. Joining the Inquisitorial Squad had been kind of fun. Catching Potter and his fans doing something they shouldn't had been exceptionally pleasing. Until of course Draco learnt why Potter and fans had been 'training', if one could call it that. The Dark Lord had returned. It was a terrifying and exciting thought. He had heard loads of stories growing up about the Dark Lord and what immense power he possessed. Aunt Bella went mental with praise over the Dark Lord whenever she heard his name. But Dumbledore had said that his name had been Tom Riddle … It was such an ordinary name.

He still had a bone to pick with Potter for putting his father in Azkaban. Even though he'd kicked Potter's nose in on the train, he didn't feel like he punished Potter enough for getting his father locked away in a cell in Azkaban. He had heard his mum cry at night when they had taken him away. It made him feel very angry and frustrated. He had never heard his mum cry before. It made him feel protective of her. It didn't help that Bella kept moaning about the Dark Lord and how excited she was. And that rat Wormtail was a complete nightmare.

His friends didn't help either. They had become annoying and Pansy especially had gotten very clingy. Draco told her to bugger off and leave him alone. Pansy went to pick on some first years after that. They used to date and everything, but Pansy wasn't very good in bed and she looked like a pug. He also got the feeling that he was being watched. No doubt it was Potter who decided to play Sherlock again. Was it really so hard for Potter to stick by the rules? And he didn't get punished for them either. He could do whatever he wanted, but if one of the normal people did anything Potter did, they'd be expelled. Bloody McGonagall and her Gryffindor sentimentalities. He'd cheer the day she finally left. She was an alright teacher, he supposed, but she let Potter off the hook too often. And bloody Dumbledore could only stand there looking old. Had that coot never heard of a trim? The only professor who was any good was professor Snape. And Filch was sort of alright, if he wasn't a Squib. Draco liked his idea of bringing the old punishments back. At least Potter would be properly punished. He knew that Filch's hands were itching for it. Draco would pay good money to see it too. Then justice would be served.

Pansy was nagging at Draco, wanting to know what was going on. How she'd gotten into his private rooms, he had no idea, but he vowed to put a stronger locking charm on it.

"Pansy, leave me alone," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I never told you to come in, did I?"

"Well, no," she said. She tried to look sympathetic, but it wasn't an attractive look on her. No doubt she was trying to get into his pants again. "But you've been so quiet during dinner," she simpered.

"No one ever told me that I was expected to talk during dinner," he said sarcastically. "My mum and dad taught me not to talk with my mouth full. Apparently yours didn't include that one in your upbringing."

"Don't be mean, Draco," Pansy said, frowning at him. "You're more irritated than usual. Did Potter do anything?"

"Besides getting my father thrown in Azkaban, you mean? Just existing, that's all." Pansy nodded in agreement. She was such a sheep. But that could be used at his advantage. "Have you heard anything from those Gryffindors? You know that they don't know the word secrecy. Perhaps you could find out for me what they're up to?"

Pansy grinned slyly and approached Draco. She put her hands on his chest and looked up. He supposed it was meant to be seductive. "If I go and eavesdrop for you, what are you going to give me in return?" she asked.

"What do you want from me?" Draco asked, wrapping his arms around Pansy's waist. Pansy was good at eavesdropping and getting information out of people, so why not give her a little task to do? Besides, it helped get her off his back so he could think properly about the Dumbledore situation.

"I'll let you know," she said and walked out of his private rooms, swaying her hips too much. She probably thought it looked sexy or some other shite. It looked like she had a physical disability.

Finally being rid of Pansy, Draco fell down onto his bed and sighed heavily. Theodore and Blaise had left him well enough alone. Crabbe and Goyle were as clueless as ever and followed him everywhere he went. He seriously considered confounding them so they would stop bothering him. He needed to be alone, he needed to think.

The task was simple; kill Dumbledore. Perhaps he could ask Snape for help. He would help Draco, he was sure of that. But could he trust Snape? He knew that Snape was a Death Eater, but he was involved with the light side as well. It was all very confusing. Where did his true loyalty lie? He had heard something of an Order of the Phoenix and that Snape would be a part of that. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea after all. Wanting to clear his head, Draco decided to go out for a stroll. There was no one about, except Filch and his mangy cat, but Draco wasn't worried about those two. He would make something up if he encountered them.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Draco had been wandering the school at night to think and to devise a plan. His Dark Mark had been itching and it kind of looked ugly. It wasn't what he'd thought it would be. He didn't feel any different because of it. It was currently November and the weather was getting colder. Pansy and his friends noticed that he was acting differently. He didn't care. He had other things to worry about, like killing Dumbledore or have his entire family killed including himself. He didn't want to die and he didn't want to lose his parents either. Pansy started nagging at him that he wasn't at the Great Hall that much anymore. She was also complaining that his hair didn't have its usual shine to it.

What could Draco care if his hair didn't sparkle?

Well, how could he look Dumbledore in the eye, knowing that he had to kill him? He had finally found that damned Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement and now he only had to repair it. He considered not doing it and give up, but then the Dark Lord would kill him and his family for sure. He couldn't bear to lose his mum.

Potter had begun to pay attention to him, unfortunately. That git was always following Draco around. Didn't he have anything better to do, like shagging the Weaselette? That bloody she-Weasel was obsessed, anyone with eyes in their heads could see that. Even Draco saw it. And stupid Weasel couldn't see how much Granger liked him. He shivered with disgust. He was walking through the corridors when suddenly someone grabbed him from behind and pushed him up against the stone wall.

"Draco!" Snape hissed. "What are you doing out here? You should be in bed!"

"Let go of me," Draco said and wrenched his arm loose. "What are you doing out so late, professor?" He searched Snape's dark eyes, but the older man was very good at concealing his own emotions. Just like Draco had been taught when he was little.

"Draco, I know of the task that the Dark Lord has given you," he said softly. "I can help you."

"You can't help me!" he hissed. "I have to do this alone. He chose me, Severus! I was chosen for this!"

Snape rolled his eyes. "You can't possibly do this alone, it would be foolish! You have to let me help you."

"No!" Draco snapped and walked away from Severus. How did he know of the task that Draco had been given? If the Dark Lord told him, then Snape was on their side, not Potter and Dumbledore's side. That meant that the Dark Lord trusted Snape to see to it that Draco didn't screw up the mission. Which meant more pressure, if that was possible. He could already feel the strain it had on his body and it was affecting his health. He hardly slept anymore. He was always up thinking of how to kill Dumbledore. His friends finally got the message and left him alone. He was alone a lot lately. He didn't care.

How was he even going to get Dumbledore alone? He wasn't even powerful enough to kill him. He couldn't even kill a bloody hedgehog! The mask he always wore had more and more cracks in it. Soon it would break in pieces. If he couldn't keep it together anymore, then he was really doomed. He had until the end of the year. Some other bloke had taken his position as Seeker in the Slytherin team. He didn't care. He had already decided to stay at Hogwarts during Christmas break next month. His mum would most likely want him to come home, but that wasn't a good idea. He needed those two weeks to finish repairing the Vanishing Cabinet and he really needed to devise a plan soon.

School had started two months ago and he had known of his mission since June, five months ago. He was still getting nowhere. It was just impossible and Potter was getting more and more suspicious. Draco couldn't go anywhere nowadays without Potter following him around like a dog. Even when his friends had stopped bothering him, he still couldn't get rid of Potter. Weasley and Granger should really keep him on a leash.

Lately he had taken to visiting the boys' lavatory on the second floor. There was some ghost haunting one of the toilets in the girls' lavatory and she had come and visited him. She told Draco that her name was Myrtle. She was somewhat mopey and whiny, but had taken to listening to him. At first he found it a bit weird to tell a ghost of his loneliness, but Myrtle listened and didn't judge him. It felt therapeutic because he'd never really told anyone of his feelings before.

He visited Myrtle almost every day, but still had no clue as to how to kill Dumbledore. The entire mission, the repercussions should he fail and stress was eating him up inside. He had dark circles around his eyes and he could see that he had lost weight. Myrtle was his only companion and offered some comfort. He couldn't take it anymore and was on the verge of breaking down in front of the mirror. Then Potter appeared in the bathroom.

The End