By Kay (AKA: Sp00kyfile)
Disclaimer: I don't own Ax or the Animorphs or Jordan or Erek or any of them. Tobi's mine, though, and I'm very proud of her. Please don't sue me. THank you.
NOTES: Another! Sequel to "A New Chapter" "Memorial" and "What I Need". What you've all been waiting for!!!!
Memories Gone:
"As the wind blows,
And as I sit by your side.
I ask for a memory,
To throw in with the tide.
Will you remember?
Will you cry?
Will you cry and remember,
Even when I'm gone with the tide?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
October 16th, The Future:
Jordan sat glumly, staring out the window of her two-story house. The air outside was cool and crisp, giving a forecast of a cold winter. The leaves were changing, their vibrant green colors turning to faded browns and reds that fell from the trees in slow arches.
"Jordan?" Her mother came into the room, holding some paperwork she had been working on for a client. Jordan knew her mother was a lawyer, but she never really had asked much about her career. After all, what on Earth could be interesting about sueing people unless you were the one getting the money?
"Yeah?" she asked, half-turning to her mother.
"What are you doing? You've been sitting by the window all day, honey," her mother said in concern. "Is there something that's bothering you?"
Jordan bit her lip. "Well... yes. Sort of. Maybe."
Her mother raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Jordan hesitated. "Well... I just want to ask you something." Her mother nodded. "Yes?"
"How do you know when you've fallen for the right guy?" Jordan blurted out, turning away from the window and looking anxiously at her mom.
Naomi stared at her oldest daughter in surprise for a moment. "When you've what?" "You know... when you found someone you really like. How do you know he's for real?" Jordan insisted, fixing her eyes on her mother.
"Well..." Naomi said, thinking. "You just... know, I guess. When he's everything you've ever dreamed of- faults and all. When you can talk to him, and call him your friend just as much as your boyfriend. Why?" She looked warily at Jordan. "You aren't seeing anyone, are you?"
Jordan shook her head. "No."
Naomi looked at her suspiciously for a second, but then nodded. "Okay, honey. Anyway, what do you want for dinner tonight? Pizza?"
Jordan shook her head absentmindedly. "Hm? Oh, no. I'm going to spend the evening over at Ax's. We're thinking of going to the beach to see the waves or something. I'll just grab something to eat before I leave." She went back to staring out the window, but this time, Naomi caught her sneaking a glance at the clock on the wall.
Naomi slowly smiled. "Okay, have fun."
Trying not to laugh, she left the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alex Isthil hesitated for a moment before going up to knock on the door to Jordan's residance. After all this time, just the mere sight of where Rachel had lived before her death brought him pain. But it was getting easier and easier to bare with each visit. Rachel's family treated him like a second son, and Jordan... well...
He walked up and tapped on the door. After so long, Jordan had told him just to pop his head in and yell, but he did not like to just intrude. The last time he had attempting that, Jordan's little sister, Sara, had spotted him like a hawk to a mouse and insisted on showing off her room and everything in it. With a long, detailed explanation on everything she owned.
He did not want to go through that again.
After a moment, he heard pounding footsteps, and the door swung open.
Jordan stood in the threashold, grinning, her coat and shoes already on.
"Come on, let's go before they give you the third-degree," she said quickly. She grabbed hold of his hand swiftly, and shouted over her shoulder into the house. "AX AND ME ARE LEAVING! BYE!" Then she shut the door and dragged Ax away from the house.
"What is your hurry?" Ax asked in confusion, struggling to keep up with her brisk pace. Jordan was an excellent runner. While Rachel's talent had been in gynastics, Jordan's had always been speed. So when Jordan walked at a brisk pace- it was good advise to start jogging.
"Mom wanted to ask you over for dinner," Jordan muttered. "There was no way I was going to let her get us to answer a bunch of questoins on what we did with our Saturdays."
Ax nodded, not sure he understood, but willing to go along with whatever she planned. Every Saturday, they got together and would go somewhere in town. Sometimes they went out for pizza. Once they went to the memorial and talked about Rachel and the others. Another time, they had went to the skating rink and Jordan had taught Ax to skate. They were never dates- not really. They were more of healing get togethers- when they could talk and laugh and have fun.
Just friends, Ax told himself. We are just friends.
"How about the beach?" Jordan asked him, finally slowing down to a walk. "We can't swim, but it'd be nice to check out the water."
Ax nodded. "I would enjoy that."
Just friends, he reminded himself. Nothing more.
So why did he feel his human heart speed up when she grabbed his hand?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ax stared out at the gentle waves breaking onto the shore from where he and Jordan sat on the sand. The sky was fading, and colors were starting to show up in the light blue. Beautiful pastels- pinks, purples, blues, creams, and oranges. Against the horizen, the water streched off into the distance out into the ocean. The water was dark, except for the waves sliding up on the sandy shore. They were white with foam.
There was no other beauty in the world to rival this.
Somehow, that thought stirred memories deep in his mind. Of the Ellimist when he had offered to take them off of Earth to be safe. He had said something simliar.
Seagulls flew overhead, shrieking loudly, but the sound did not bother Ax. He found it somewhat soothing, when it was added to the gentle pull of the waves. Many of the seagulls were gone.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Jordan said softly, echoeing his thoughts. He looked over at her. Her blond hair was shimmering even in the setting sun, and the wind whipped it around her. When she turned to look at him, he saw that the blue hue of her eyes almost matched the ocean's deeper waters.
"Yes, it is," he finally said. "It's very beautiful."
Somehow he had the oddest feeling he was not talking about the ocean in front of him.
"The ocean always seems so peaceful," Jordan said, gazing at the waves. "Like everything has a balence- it's own rythem." She paused, embarrassed. "That was a dumb thing to say."
Ax shook his head. "No, it made perfect sense." He hesitated. "When... when the Animorphs and I morphed dolphins, it made even more sense. Though it may seem illogical, it was as if we were part of the ocean. As if everything was connected in some way. You were just... happy. You wanted to play, and not to worry." Pain filled his eyes. "I only wish life were like that as well."
Jordan silently took his hand, and squeezed it. "It'll get better. The pain won't go away, but it'll fade, Ax. We'll chase those sorrows out of you!" she added, smiling. Ax smiled briefly. "See?" Jordan said, her eyes shining. "You're smiling. Erek says you've been smiling a lot more often, too. You're already getting better, thanks to my expert phyciatric work," she teased.
For a while, they were both silent. They still gripped each other's hand, as if it were a life-line to a glimmer of happiness. Perhaps it was, Ax thought, looking down at their intertwining hands.
"Ax?" Jordan asked softly, "Do you think Rachel ever thinks about me now?" Ax looked up at her in confusion.
"Jordan... she's dead," Ax said, struggling not to let any tears fall. "They are all dead. Gone."
"I meant in Heaven, idiot," Jordan said, rolling her eyes. In spite of everything, Ax had to smile at her annoyed tone.
"I have read about such a place... I was not aware it truly existed," Ax said, tilting his head.
Jordan bit her lip thoughtfully. "Some people think it does. They think that when you die... you go to this place, and everything's okay again- your happy and can have whatever you want. It's supposed to be a place with no pain or sad stuff." Tears rolled down her face. "I hope Rachel's there."
"It is real?"
Jordan sighed. "I don't know, Ax. I hope it is. And I hope my sister and all of my friends are there, too. Free from the war, and from pain, just like everyone says."
Ax stared at the horizen, where the sky met water, and didn't say anything.
Heaven? An after-life? Could there be such a place?
No, it was not possible. Extremely unlikely. It was out of reasoning.
Ax closed his eyes, and allowed some tears to slip down his face. A place of joy and no pain... where you could be free and happy forever...
A place that did not exhist.
And yet... if it did exhist? Would he go there one day? Would he meet his friends, and his brother, on the boundry? Ax shivered, and opened his eyes. His thoughts were to deep, to painful, to dig into right now. All he wanted to do was enjoy the ocean with Jordan, and forget everything.
Ax gently put his arm around Jordan, and held her close to him as the sun finished setting. She layed her head on his shoulder, and cried softly for her sister. For what she had lost.
He held on to his life-line tighter, until she had ceased to cry. Even afterwards, though, he did not let her go. He kept holding her, and she let him. They gave each other strength and hope. The two things they needed the most.
They watched the night fall together.
Was there such a place as Heaven? Ax wondered as the sky darkened slowly.
Ax tucked Jordan closer to him.
Maybe...
Maybe.
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THE END: I know! I know! I didn't manage to fit to much romance into this one! But don't worry, it's still coming up in #5! I'm having it at Christmas... ::grins evily:: Think of all the perfect opportunities then...