Disclaimer: Characters, places, and indices contained within are the creative property of J. . No infringement intended. This story is not for profit.

Additional: All quotes at the beginning of chapters belong to plays by Shakespeare.

Summary: When her potion is switched, Hermione is faced with the prospect of acting as if she is in love with a Slytherin while trying to find out who the culprit is. Her only help? Severus Snape!

Heart's Ease

There sleeps Titania sometime of the night,

Lull's in these flower with dances and delight;

And there the snake throws her enamell'd skin,

Weed wide enough to wrap a fairy in:

And with the juice of this I'll streak her eyes,

And make her full of hateful fantasies.

A Midsummer's Night's Dream, Act Two, Scene One.

"Do you know what heartease is used for Miss Granger?" asked Snape silkily.

"Yes, sir. it's used in lovepotions and their antidotes, as the primary inducer. More commonly known as the pansy, undiluted heartsease will make the drinker fall in love with the very next person they see," Hermione rattled off, sounding, as usual, like she'd swallowed several textbooks.

"Then why, may I ask, are you taking it?" Snape said, a note of sharpness in his voice as he drew a small blue bottle from his robes.

"Oh!" Hermione gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. She'd been searching for that little bottle for the past few days, growing steadily more desperate to lay her hands on it as time passed. She uttered a tiny sigh of relief now that it was found. Then she frowned, her inimitable mind putting together the professor's question with his ownership of the bottle. A blush grew from her neck as she said, "That's not- that's not heartsease professor. It's...it's a potion for, um, problems of a female nature."

In the gloomy dungeon office Hermione couldn't see the flush that flickered for a second on Snape's face. Instead he just smoothly corrected her, "Miss Granger I am the potions professor of this school. I know the shade and smell of most potions without having to consult a book. Are you presuming to question my authority in this matter? This bottle contains heartsease diluted with lime blossom and witch-hazel. It is not a remedy for any - female problems."

"Goodness," exclaimed Hermione, "Well I don't know how that got there, sir."

Snape raised a thin eyebrow and questioned, "When did you last identify the solution?"

"I, um, used it a couple of days ago. Then I must have lost it, because I've been searching for it ever since."

"Lost?" Snape paused, his eyes going slightly distant before they pierced Hermione with a striking look. "When exactly did you lose this bottle?" he asked.

"You can't know when you've lost something, sir," Hermione said pedantically, before quailing slightly under the stare, "I definitely had it three days ago."

"I discovered it on a table in the library next to the runes section. Where was it supposed to be?"

"In my bag."

The stare grew more intense as Snape placed the small blue bottle on his desk. "Has anything... untoward occurred between then and now?"

"Not really. We had a surprise test in transfiguration, Harry had another fight with Malfoy; Hagrid's latest... project escaped again-" Hermione stopped suddenly as Snape held up a potion stained hand.

"Potter got into a fight with Mr Malfoy?' he asked, a note of snideness in his voice.

"Yes. I tried to stop him but-"

"Who else was there?"

"Ron and Neville-"

"Not on Potter's side," Snape said, a sneer curling his lip, "On Mr Malfoy's."

"Oh. Um. Crabbe and Goyle, obviously. And Parkinson, though she mainly stayed out of it," Hermione frowned, and said hurriedly, "Oh, Professor, you don't think one of them took it do you? switched out the potion? But why would they do that?"

Briefly closing his eyes against the onslaught of questions, Professor Snape tried not to strangle the girl. Curiosity was excellent, enthusiasm was wonderful, but together with her desperate intelligence they made a dangerous combination. "Miss Granger," he said with a perfectly raised eyebrow, "Do you remember what happened last year? There are now a great many individuals in the magical world who would wish you harm, you and your friends."

"You're referring to the house elves, aren't you sir? I was right to do it. They were slaves, and slavery has been outlawed in Britain for decades, it's a barbaric institution which needed to be stopped-"

"And stop it you did. Without thinking you charged into the ministry, located the ancient enchantments, and destroyed them. You did not consider the consequences of your actions-"

"Oh but I did!"

"Silence! You did not consider the ramifications beyond your objective. There are a great many families who have relied upon the house elf network for generations, and now you have removed that system without so much as a by-your-leave. Naturally a percentage of them are less than pleased with your high handed attitude; particularly because you are new to the wizarding world," Snape concluded, looming over Hermione who swallowed and looked down.

It was true, she hadn't thought beyond getting rid of that awful system. And she'd wilfully dragged her friends along with her. She sniffed slightly, the damp of the dungeons affecting her nose.

Snape turned away, allowing a flicker of a smile on his face. "I do not say that I disagree with your intentions," he said quietly, "It is merely your busybody attitude that is mildly reprehensible. Nevertheless..." He reached out and selected a small bottle off his numerous shelves, turning to compare it with the one on his desk as he continued to speak, "I will assist you in identifying the perpetrator of this potion switch, as much for the school's sake as your own. As such..." Snape pointed his wand at the uncorked bottle he'd selected and murmured a colour changing charm. The clear glass flickered through the spectrum for a second and then settled into an azure blue. Snape hmmed and inspected the two bottles - they were now, save for the contents and lack of cork, identical. Ignoring Hermione's growing fidgets, he turned back to the shelves and asked over his shoulder, "What is the name of the potion Madam Pomfrey is giving you?"

"Quattuor substantia decoctum," Hermione whispered, quite mortified.

"Undiluted?"

"Yes."

Snape looked through his bottled and jarred potions, shifting the larger containers to see those behind. Finally he pulled a thin green triangular bottle off one of the bottom shelves and poured some of the solution into his incanted blue bottle. Corking it neatly, Snape handed the bottle to Hermione and raised his eyebrow again.

"I take it you have read about the effects of this potion," he said, waving a long hand at the original small bottle still perched on his desk. When she nodded, he went on, "Did you cover the changes caused by the addition of lime blossom and witch hazel?"

"I - no," Hermione admitted, clutching the bottle.

"Not as much of a know-it-all as is vaunted by your test results," Snape mocked, before picking a large volume out of one of the piles which littered the room. He eased it open and flicked through to the correct page, holding it out to her.

Gently she took the book, her eyes already racing over the words.

"You will need to simulate that potion's effect precisely if this plan is to be effective," Snape warned.

"Plan, sir?" Hermione said, not lifting her eyes from the book.

"In order to catch the culprit you will return to the place where I found that potion, 'discover' it, and continue with your normal behaviour patterns. At some point you will take the potion, enact the behaviours that the heartsease potion causes, and see to whom it leads," Snape said, wondering how this girl could possibly be the smartest witch of her age.

"Isn't that...rather dangerous?" Hermione questioned uncertainly, meeting Snape's black eyes in a daring move.

"Sometimes in order to catch the spider one must play the fly," Snape said enigmatically.

"Right. Of course," Hermione nodded, and closed the book, handing it back. Snape raised that eyebrow at her and she clarified, "I can speed read, sir."

"A handy skill," he allowed, accepting the book back.

Hermione turned to leave the room, but as she placed her hand on the iron ring she look back and asked, "What will you do with that?" indicating the heartsease potion.

"I will dispose of it safely," Snape said, as if the question was totally unnecessary.

"Right," she said.

When she didn't move he coughed lightly and said to the wall, "I will keep an eye on things, naturally."

"Naturally," she murmured, and left.

As she closed the door behind her and set out for the library, Hermione took a deep breath. Never in all her years at Hogwarts had she been so mortified and astounded and... It was bad enough that she'd lost the potion, and that a professor had found it. but for Professor SNAPE to find it! And then for him to turn around and be willing to help her, after everything. He hated Harry, and by extension everyone around him. For Professor Snape to help her was like a hyena inviting you for lunch. Yet somehow she trusted him, or at least trusted that he wouldn't lead her wrong.

The library was quiet, just as she liked, and she swiftly made her way to the runes section where she could normally be found. Here there was a little one person table next to a beautiful stained glass window depicting one of the numerous famous wizards. She would often come here, not to study, but simply to sit and relax with a good book or some music. It was no wonder that the switcher had targeted this place as a suitable site to leave her missing potion bottle.

Settling herself down, Hermione pulled out her charms text and promptly 'discovered' the bottle under the table.

"Oh! There you are! Now where have you been?" she exclaimed a little louder than usual.

Swiftly she looked around and ascertained that Madam Pince was no where to be found. Then she committed a small crime by conjuring a goblet and filling it with water. She uncorked the false bottle and dropped two drops of her potion into it. Then she drank.

As she swallowed the bitter tasting water Hermione ran through the symptoms of the altered heartsease potion in her mind. First she would feel drowsy, then she would fall asleep for a time. Next, on awakening, the very first person she saw she would fall in love with. Not just love, she blushed, fervent passion, even...lust. Gradually the potion would have more and more effect on her until, after a period of twenty four hours, she would be unable to keep her hands off the...individual. With the addition of witch hazel no incantation would be able to free her. She would be bound to love that individual and want to, uh hum, with him, until such time that she was given the antidote. If she ever was.

This was, of course, if she was actually taking the potion. She set the goblet back down, and mentally thanked Professor Snape for finding the bottle before her. Now she was simply free of female problems, rather than trapped under a terrible enchantment.

Remembering Snape's words about 'normal behaviour', Hermione opened her textbook, got out her quill and parchment and began taking notes. After a while she started feigning tiredness, yawning and stretching. Then she leaned her head on her hand, nodding slightly, finally slipping off her hand and slumping over her books.

Every sense was on high alert as she waited patiently, but she still didn't hear the person approach until they whispered, "Granger?"

The someone poked her shoulder, then said louder, "Granger?"

She decided to moan slightly, allowing the person to repeat their poking. Then she turned her head, reached a hand to her neck and sat up.

"Oh, hello," she said normally, then she put a lot more breathlessness into it as 'the potion' took hold, "Oh, hello! What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, of course."