Title: A Loss for Words
Pairings: Ian/Anthony (Ianthony)
Genre: Angst, I guess you could call it fluff at the end. *Cringes* I. SUCK. AT. FLUFF.
Warnings: Smut, harsh language,
Summary: Ian wants to know why Anthony's been so down lately. Little does he know that he's the cause.
Fic Songs: "Ohio is for Lovers" - Hawthorne Heights / "Already Over" - Red / "Three Cheers for Five Years (Acoustic)" - Mayday Parade
A/N: Thanks to zaptoes for the plot. And thanks to a-m-d-16, for giving me the title! I've never written a story with Ianthony as the main pairing, so please bear with me. It is also my first slash smut! It's third person narrated, but switches off from their thoughts a lot. I'm sorry...
Dedicated to all of the Ianthony shippers on Tumblr. You're all wonderful, crazy mofos and I love the people in the Ianthony fandom so much! By the way, we should be friends. :)
Ian Hecox watched, puzzled as his best friend's head hung low, editing the video they'd just filmed. Usually, this was Anthony's very favorite part of the video-making process. In fact, it was editing media that got him into Smosh in the first place. It was for that reason that Ian couldn't understand why Anthony looked so sad.
He'd been this way for a long time now. He was moping and scowling and just not caring. He was short with Ian and no longer laughed at his jokes...Well, besides when they were filming Lunchtime or Mail Time. But didn't he kind of have to be nice and civil on those videos?
Ian didn't want their friendship to feel forced in any type of way, especially considering they'd been best friends for so long. Anthony knew everything there was to know about Ian and vice versa. At least, Ian liked to believe so. It was times like these that made him believe otherwise. Usually when Anthony got in these moods, Ian allowed him to just get over it and it would be over, as long as he was patient.
But ever since Anthony and Kalel had broken off their engagement, Anthony's moods were getting more constant and they were lasting longer, too. Ian had tried his very best to not allow this to bother him, but he was tired of it. Anthony was living in the Smosh house again, which meant that Ian had to spend every day with him.
Living with Anthony should be fun, Ian assured himself, I shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around my best friend.
Taking a deep breath, he inched his way over to his friend, placing his hand tentatively on his shoulder. He was startled when Anthony jumped at his touch.
"What's wrong?" Ian asked. Not only was he addressing the flinch, but Anthony's behavior overall.
Anthony's eyes remained glued to the computer screen. "I didn't see you."
Ian blinked, unsure of where to go from there. He padded over to the other desk chair and slid it over toward Anthony, stopping beside him.
"What are you working on?" Ian asked, calmly.
Anthony never looked at him. "The new video. What else?"
He wasn't making this any easier on Ian, that was for sure.
"What are you-"
"Ian, will you please just leave me alone?!" Anthony snapped.
Now, Ian wasn't exactly pleased that Anthony had yelled at him, but he was relieved that Anthony had finally showed some sort of emotion besides apathy.
"No," Ian replied, much more placid than Anthony had been. "You've been acting weird so much lately-"
Anthony opened his mouth to interject, but Ian didn't allow him to speak. "Tell me, please. I don't like seeing you so upset."
The brunette just shook his head. "I don't...," he trailed off before sighing, "just leave me alone, Ian." He turned away.
Angrily, Ian spun Anthony's chair back so that he was facing him. "Look, I know you're upset about Kalel, but-"
At her name, Anthony shot up from his chair, stunning Ian in the process. "It's not fucking Kalel!" he screamed, an irate expression on his face. With that, Anthony stalked out of the room and into his own bedroom. Once in his bedroom, he slammed the door so hard the floors shook and Ian heard crashing.
Ian sighed, but instantly got up and followed Anthony into his bedroom, stopping at the doorway. He saw that the crashing had been an entire corner shelf falling. Small toys, knickknacks, and photos hall fallen to the floor and now littered the plush carpeting. His eyes traveled over to the bed, where Anthony lay, sprawled out, face down in his pillow.
He didn't know what to do. Usually, whenever something was bothering Anthony, Ian was the first one he came to. What could have possibly changed him? It wasn't like they'd argued at all lately, and if they did, it was over very small things about shooting a video that they always sorted out immediately after. It simply had to be Kalel, even despite the fact that Anthony had quite loudly informed him that it wasn't. There was truly nothing else that it could be.
Feeling helpless, he bent down and stood the shelf back up. Glancing back at Anthony, who didn't even seem to know that Ian was in the room, he began to pick up the shelf's contents. He didn't know where everything went exactly, but with some some sort idea in mind, he made do. Once he was finished, he sat down hesitantly on the bed beside his best friend.
"Anthony, please talk to me," Ian said, brushing a hand over the other's shoulder. Just as he had earlier, Anthony jerked away from Ian as soon as he felt the other's hand.
"Go away," Ian heard, muffled from the pillow.
Ian shook his head. "No. That's not how it works here, Anthony."
Anthony didn't reply.
Ian continued speaking. "Look, I don't care what it's about, dude. I just...I want my best friend back."
He hadn't meant to get mushy, but as soon as he'd said it, he knew that it was absolutely true. Having to guess the way Anthony felt was absolutely and entirely exhausting.
Anthony shook his head into the pillow. "Leave, Ian. I don't wanna talk."
The blue-eyed man shut his eyes in exasperation. "I know it hurts, Anthony. I went through the same thing with Melanie. Maybe we weren't gonna get married, but-"
"It's not Kalel for the last goddamn time!" Anthony shrieked, sitting up straight.
Anthony's outburst frightened Ian a little. Swallowing, he asked, "Well, if it's not Kalel, then what the fuck is it? I'm not a mindreader, Anthony."
Sighing hard, Anthony swung his legs off of the bed, eyes shifting to the door, every intention of leaving yet again, this time to his car and then to wherever it would take him. But Ian was too fast, catching Anthony's wrist and curling his fingers around it, holding his best friend in place.
Just like the two times before, Anthony stiffened at Ian's touch and tried to wriggle away, but Ian's grip was too strong.
"Let me go!" Anthony snarled, glaring intently at Ian.
"No!" Ian growled, just as irked as Anthony was, "you're going to fucking tell me what's wrong right now. You're not leaving this room until you do, you got that?!"
Anthony rolled his eyes before biting his lip and nodding. "You wanna know what's wrong with me?"
Ian didn't reply, obviously waiting for him to continue.
"Huh?!" Anthony exclaimed, clenching his jaw.
Ian rolled his eyes. "Yes, Anthony. I do want to know."
Anthony chuckled snidely. "It's you, Ian. It's fucking you."
This came as an utter and complete shock to the other man. "M-me?" he asked, taken aback.
Anthony nodding, swallowing hard. "You. And your fucking smile. You're always so happy. And it's annoying as hell."
"I-" Ian went to interject.
But Anthony wasn't paying any attention to him anymore. He seemed to be in some kind of trance. "And your stupid little bowl haircut. Can you not choose a more adult's style? For God's sake, Ian, you're twenty-six. Don't you think it's time to grow the fuck up?"
"Anth-"
"And you leave your shit everywhere. I'm constantly cleaning up after you and I'm sick of it."
Ian was appalled. Where was all of this coming from? "Okay, I'll clean-"
Yet again, Anthony interrupted him. "You shaved again and you just left the hair in the sink!"
"I-I'm sorry, Anth-"
Anthony shrugged. "I actually like you better when you don't have facial hair."
Ian's eyes shot open. He couldn't mean...
"But worst of all, I find everything you do so goddamn adorable. I...I just...," he trailed off, eyes sweeping to the floor.
Ian stayed silent, wanting to know if this was going where he thought it was going.
"I can't even breathe around you anymore," Anthony said softly, "that's how bad it's gotten. I don't want you to come near me, or talk to me, or even look at me because you're my best friend and you have been for so long and...and I don't wanna fuck it up!" he finished, eyes filling with tears.
Ian felt horrible for Anthony, but he couldn't deny the fact that he just didn't know how to feel about all of this. He'd never even considered liking men, let alone considered liking Anthony.
Anthony sniffed. "I'm sorry, Ian. If you want me to move out, I understand-"
Ian shook his head furiously. "N-no, that's not what I want at all. I mean, it's okay, Anthony. I'm not mad at you. I'm not even disgusted."
Anthony swallowed. "But you don't feel the same way and I don't want you to feel the least bit awkward in your own house."
"I won't," Ian replied, seriously.
Anthony didn't believe him for a second. "Oh, really? So, if you wanted to bring a girl home, you just would?"
Ian nodded.
"No, you wouldn't," Anthony retorted, "you care about me too much. You'd insist to either go to her place. Hell, you might not go out at all because you won't want to hurt me."
"I...," Ian trailed off.
"Exactly," Anthony replied, "and you'll always wear clothes, even though you like to walk around without a shirt on or in your boxers because you won't want to be inconsiderate to me."
Anthony didn't give Ian a chance to reply to that one because even he was embarrassed by it. "And you'll never ask me any advice about girls because you won't want to make me cry. I don't want you changing who you are just because I'm...I'm...," Anthony trailed off, too mortified to continue, an angry blush painting his face a dark crimson.
"You don't have to finish that," Ian replied softly.
Anthony nodded. "It disgusts you."
Ian shook his head furiously. "That is definitely not it! I just don't want you to be embarrassed. I mean, like you said, we're best friends and have been forever. This isn't gonna affect it, I promise."
"Oh yeah?" Anthony asked. "What if you catch me staring at you? Wouldn't that disgust you?"
Ian shook his head no. "No, it wouldn't. If anything, it'd be flattering."
Anthony's snide chuckle made a second appearance, much to Ian's annoyance. "That so?"
"Yes," Ian retorted.
"Well, what if I...I got too excited around you? Wouldn't that be creepy?" he asked, moving closer to the other man.
"N-no," Ian replied, "I'd apologize and excuse myself."
"It wouldn't be your fault, though," Anthony whispered, getting closer to Ian.
Ian's breath hitched in his throat as Anthony inched closer to him. "B-but it wouldn't be yours, either."
"What if I got too drunk?" Anthony asked, putting a hand on Ian's bare arm, immediately feeling a jolt of electricity shooting through his fingers and palm.
"S-so?" Ian asked, "we've gotten drunk before."
Anthony nodded. "Yes, but that was before I knew how I felt about you. What if I got brave?"
"I-I don't know," Ian admitted, feeling Anthony's fingers entwine around his arm.
"Exactly, you don't know," Anthony agreed, letting go of his friend's arm, "if I let things get out of hand, you'd never speak to me again."
"Yes, I would!" Ian howled, "Anthony, just stop it. This is ridiculous."
"Is it?" Anthony asked, so close to Ian now that he was trapped against the wall.
"A-Anthony, I don't-"
"It's difficult to concentrate now, isn't it? I'm pressed so far up against that you can't move. It would be so easy to just do with you what I want, Ian. But you're not worried about it, so why should I?" he taunted.
He hadn't really meant for it to go this far, but then again, he hadn't expected Ian to react the way he did, either.
"Right," Ian agreed, "y-you shouldn't."
For a second, Anthony considered letting Ian off the hook and just letting him retreat back to his own room, but he looked down and had second thoughts. He'd been right, it would be so very easy.
"It won't be awkward at all, no matter what?" Anthony asked, chocolate brown eyes boring into crystal blue ones.
"N-not at all," Ian replied, admittedly a little frightened and confused with Anthony's words.
Anthony nodded. "We'll see about that."
Before Ian could protest, Anthony's lips were on his, kissing him furiously, tongue running back and forth over his mouth. A shocked sound escaped from his throat, but to Anthony's surprise, it didn't take long for Ian to kiss him back, lips parting almost immediately.
Anthony groaned with pleasure. Ian tasted so much better than he could ever imagine and he was kissing him willingly. He had to take this as far as he could push it, so he reached his hands under his friend's shirt, their lips only parting to raise the shirt over Ian's head. Shyly, Anthony lifted his shirt off, too, a blush rising to his cheeks.
Their lips met once more as Anthony's hands clumsily fumbled down to the button of Ian's jeans. He undid it and brushed his fingers down to the zipper, eliciting a deep, throaty moan from Ian. He was shocked to feel a hardness there that matched his own. Could Ian...No, there was no way.
Ian was simply lost in a cloud of pure lust. He wasn't sure what had come over him, but the moment that Anthony's lips had touched his he was certain that he never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again. He wanted to tell Anthony as much, but it would have to wait. Anthony was working on getting his jeans off, so he would simply do the same to him. Never breaking the kiss, he unbuttoned and unzipped the other's jeans.
Anthony leaned forward, taking Ian's nipple into his mouth. In response, Ian moaned again, only making Anthony want him all the more.
The taller man reached his hands into the other's boxers, stripping them down to the floor. He then grabbed Ian's shoulders and flung him down onto the bed, smiling shyly down at him.
Ian understood and reached over to remove Anthony's boxers. It was his turn to be bashful then.
Anthony chuckled, lowering down to where he was eye level with Ian's fully erect cock. He closed his mouth around it and ran his tongue over the tip, drawing out a loud, long moan from Ian. This made Anthony moan, too, even as he kept bobbing his head and slid his tongue around the thick underside.
"A-Anthony," Ian gasped, "I don't want to...," he trailed of, moaning again.
But Anthony understood and removed his mouth from Ian's member and his eyes trailed up to the other's eyes. "We...We don't have any lube," he said, disappointed.
Ian shrugged. "Give me your fingers."
"A-are you sure?" Anthony asked, still completely dazed that this was happening in the first place.
Ian nodded. "Just...give them here."
Anthony outstretched his hands to Ian's lips. Ian took three of them into his mouth and began to gently suck on them, causing Anthony to groan in pleasure. Ian let the fingers out of his mouth and nodded. "Th-there you go."
Anthony had never had sex with a guy before and neither had Ian, so it really wasn't that it was he was nervous. He was way more nervous about hurting him. Hesitantly, he slipped one finger inside of Ian. When he didn't protest or even grunt, he added another finger. Ian bit his lip and grimaced as Anthony began to scissor him, stretching the walls as best and painlessly as he could. When he added another finger, a tear began to slip down Ian''s cheek. Anthony felt horrible and bent down to kiss the other's lips, before using his other hand to stroke his member. Suddenly, Ian jolted and moaned. Anthony realized that he must've brushed his fingers over Ian's prostate. He'd read enough fanfictions to know what that meant.
Anthony slid his fingers out of Ian. "A-are you sure about this?" he asked, praying Ian said yes, no matter the consequences this careless act of passion would bring.
Ian nodded, his blue eyes very serious.
With that, Anthony spread as much as pre-cum as he could muster over his cock and entered Ian slowly. Ian gritted his teeth and did his very best not to cry out - to no avail.
"I'm sorry," Anthony apologized, leaning down to press a kiss to Ian's forehead.
Ian nodded. "It's all right. Just move...please."
Anthony did so, first rocking back and forth slowly, allowing Ian to adjust to the size of him. But as his arousal grew stronger and stronger, he picked up the pace and curled his fingers around Ian's dick, and began to stroke it in time with his thrusts.
"A-Anthony," Ian gasped after a few minutes, "I-I'm gonna...," he trailed off, words drowned out by a moan.
"Go ahead," Anthony whispered, "I'm right behind you."
Anthony thrusted hard one more time, sending Ian over the edge. Anthony soon followed, unable to contain himself at the loud moans of Ian's climax.
That was when it hit Anthony that it was over. This beautiful, wonderful, idyllic moment between them was over and he was going to have to deal with the consequences. Exhausted (mentally and physically), Anthony scooted underneath the covers of his bed and turned his back to Ian, who was also shifting underneath the covers.
Anthony was certain Ian would leave as soon as morning came. It was pretty amazing that he could go from being so happy to feeling so low in sadness that he could drown. Tears began to flow out of his eyes and they stained the pillow.
"Anthony?" Ian asked, hearing the other man sniffle.
"I-I'm sorry," Anthony sobbed.
Ian frowned. "For what?"
"I...you know," Anthony replied, still weeping.
"Stop crying," Ian demanded. "And stop apologizing. Anthony, that was...it was indescribable. I-"
"You don't have feelings for me, though," Anthony finished. "I know. And...And it's fine. I understand. I'll get my things and-"
"Anthony!" Ian interjected, screaming into his ear.
Anthony jumped. "What is it?"
Ian chuckled. "Don't you see? I would have never had sex with you if I didn't have feelings for you."
"But you said-"
"I know what I said," Ian replied. "Just because I didn't know it at the time, doesn't mean I didn't feel so much when you kissed me. And that was just a kiss...," he trailed off, blushing.
"So..."
"Yeah."
Anthony's smile began to grow and his tears began to dry as he turned to face Ian. He snuggled closer to him and buried his face into Ian's neck.
"I don't know what this is yet," Ian continued, "but if you're willing to be patient, I sure as hell don't mind finding out."
Ian felt Anthony's mouth curve into a smile. "Hell yes, I am."
Their lips met, confirming that Ian never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again.
God, I suck at smut.