A/N: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanza, and Happy Holidays fellow readers! I recently discovered the Coldplay song "Christmas Lights". After the first Amazing Spiderman movie, I can't listen to Chris Martin sing without thinking of Peter and Gwen. So I decided to write this little one shot. I hope, where ever you are and whatever your culture is, that you are having a wonderful December. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Christmas Lights

Christmas night, another fight
Tears we've cried a flood
Got all kinds of poison in
Of poison in my blood

When Peter woke up on Christmas morning, he never would have imagined the holiday to pan out the way that it had. Actually, that was a lie. Typically, Christmas morning was spent opening presents and eating a delicious breakfast prepared by non-other than the very talented May Parker. The afternoon was wasted watching White Christmas and every Christmas evening meant walking around the city watching the Christmas lights and enjoying one another's company. But this was the first year without Uncle Ben and neither Peter nor May really felt like celebrating. So they broke tradition and had a simple breakfast of eggs and toast. A few small gifts were exchanged, which was fine with Peter because he knew, even with the money he made as an intern, that the budget was close to exploding every month. Soon after breakfast, Aunt May left to work a double shift (because how could she pass up the opportunity to earn time-and-a-half of holiday pay). It was a decision that was not made lightly. They both understood that few people wanted to work Christmas Day, which meant more opportunity for Aunt May. Deep down they both knew that it was an excuse to get out of the house, but Peter didn't fault his aunt for wanting to forget the holiday. He didn't want to be there anymore than she did. Life without his Uncle Ben was hard. Each day was struggle but they were learning to cope and move on with their lives. But that didn't mean they were ready to face Christmas without him. So Aunt May made plans to work the majority of the day and Peter made plans to spend time with Gwen and her family.

This was where the lie came in. You see, he expected the morning to be awkward and difficult but didn't think the evening would end on such a bad note. After patrolling the streets for the majority of the afternoon, Peter found himself in front of Gwen's apartment building. He had no idea of the tension and somberness that awaited him in the apartment upstairs. In hindsight, he should have expected it but in the midst of his own family's problems he had forgotten that the Stacy family was also missing a father. While May and Peter chose to ignore the day as much as possible, Gwen and her mother tried to act like nothing was wrong. Most likely they did this for her siblings' sake. But Peter found the charade hard to swallow and after only forty-five minutes he left, unable to explain himself to anyone in the apartment, least of all his crushed girlfriend.

I took my feet to Oxford street
Trying to right a wrong
Just walk away those windows said
But I can't believe she's gone

When you're still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn't really feel like Christmas at all

He stood outside of the apartment building for a solid twenty minutes trying to figure out what to say to fix the damage he had just caused. But what explanation would be sufficient? He could think of none. So he left. Peter let his legs take him wherever they pleased while his mind wandered elsewhere. He couldn't shake the hurt look that covered Gwen's face when he walked out the door. No doubt she started crying as soon as he left. She was on the verge when he took his retreat. This day was just as hard for her as it was for him. Yet, he couldn't think of a single thing to do or say to make it better. Feeling beyond inadequate, Peter found himself in front of Avenger Tower and left himself in with his intern keycard. He may not know how to comfort his girlfriend or deal with his own grief, but Peter Parker knew science. So on Christmas night, he went to work and distracted himself for a couple of hours before someone realized he was in the lab.

He had been so wrapped up in the experiment that for a moment he didn't realize Tony had entered the lab. "Didn't you get the memo? Interns don't have to work on Christmas per Miss Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries."

"I know I don't have to work but I want to," Peter explained, not talking his eyes off of what he was doing. Normally during his downtime, he would work on improving his Spider-Man suit or some kind of weapon for his other teammates. But at the moment, Peter didn't want to think about Spider-Man or anything related to crime-fighting. He was finishing up some actual work that was left over from a few days before.

"If you're going to work tonight, you might as well clock in." Tony strolled to his side to glance at what he was working on. "That isn't all that important. It can wait."

"I thought you and Pepper were going out of town for Christmas?" Peter tried to change the subject.

"Change of plans. We decided to do something small and intimate." He said it nonchalantly but Peter could read between the lines.

"Pepper was tired from work and wanted downtime with you?"

"We both decided a small and intimate Christmas would be better." Stark corrected him and Peter chuckled but let the subject drop. Tony Stark might be an Avenger with a lot of power and even more money, but they both knew it was Pepper who had the final say on most decisions. "Come on. Come have a drink with us."

"Oh no, I didn't come here to crash your evening. I really thought you were out." Peter refused before Tony finish his sentence. "Seriously, Tony, I was just looking for a quiet place to go."

Tony raised an eyebrow, which made Peter regret opening his mouth. His relationship with Stark was still pretty new. He didn't really want relationship advice from a guy who built most of his friends (sorry Jarvis).

"Too loud at Gorgeous Gwen's place?" He asked in a tone that suggested he was trying to sound innocent. Peter wasn't falling for it. "Maybe you should get her out of the house and make some noise somewhere else."

Not rising to the bait, Peter tried to change the subject. "Pepper is going to wonder where you are. I thought there was a 'no work' law in place today?"

"Oh, there is. She made sure I got the memo. But we aren't talking about my girlfriend. We are talking about your girlfriend, Parker." Peter's heart tripped over the word girlfriend and for a moment his defenses were down. Grief appeared on his face just long enough for Tony to get an idea of what was going on. An awkward silence filled the room and for a moment Stark didn't know what to say.

"It's fine." Peter cut him off before Tony could try to fill the void. "I'm not entirely sure that we are still together. I don't know what we are."

Stark nodded his head and, not knowing what else to say, moved to leave the lab and give Peter his space. "Stay as long as you want, kid. Blow some shit up if the mood strikes you. I'll tell Pepper you were just picking something up."

Peter didn't know what to say, other than 'thanks'. They didn't know each other well and had only been working together for the past six months or so. It had taken some convincing to get Peter to agree to join the Avengers as a consultant. In that space of time, the majority of their conversation was filled with light banter, mission debriefs, science talk, and very little sharing of feelings and life experiences. But Tony Stark was full of surprises and Peter was once again caught off guard when he stopped to ask one last question. "You okay, Webhead?" He wasn't an idiot. The nickname was thrown into the question so that it would seem like Tony didn't really care about Peter's feelings.

"I'm fine." Peter lied through his teeth, and Tony knew it but didn't call him out on it. This made Peter feel guilty. It was a twinge that settled in his gut and made him queasy. "No, I'm not." He amended. Tony stopped with his hand on the door, listening. "I'm not okay. But it isn't anything that can be fixed tonight."

Up above, candles on air flicker
Oh they flicker and they flow
And I am up here holding on to all those chandeliers of hope

And like some drunken Elvis singing

I go singing out of tune

Singing how I always loved you darling
And how I always will

"Are you sure about that? Gwen seems like a pretty cool girl. Maybe she's feeling just as bad as you."

Peter didn't doubt that. There was a good possibility she was feeling worse than he was.

"Who screwed up? You or her?"

"I did."

"Can I give you some expert advice?" Peter nodded slightly, indicating that he was listening. "Don't wait. You're a good guy, Peter. You couldn't have done anything too bad. Don't let her spend Christmas night miserable. Go fix it."

But when you're still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn't really feel like Christmas at all
Still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn't really feel like Christmas at all

It was well past midnight when Peter tapped on Gwen's bedroom window. Thankfully, she was still awake. At first, he wasn't sure she would open it for him but after a moment she stood to flip the lock. He had rehearsed an apology on the way but seeing her face made his mind go blank. So instead he held his hand out to her, praying she would trust him and take it. Again, she hesitated but seemed to realize that he was struggling just as much as she was. He led her down the fire escape and into the city. They walked in silence the entire time. After a few blocks, Peter spotted an empty ally and led the way up another fire escape. They climbed to the top and sat on the ledge with their legs hanging off the edge. Gwen seemed to be waiting for him to start the conversation, but Peter was still at a loss for words. At the time, Tony's advice had seemed so basic, so easy. And Gwen was probably the easiest person for him to talk to. So why was this so difficult? Just then he looked down and caught sight of a couple walking down the street, pointing at all of the lovely Christmas lights. And suddenly, it was as if there was no filter between his brain and his mouth.

"Aunt May and Uncle Ben were married for so long. And they had this tradition, even before I came along, they would spend every Christmas night walking around the city looking at the lights. The first year I was with them I didn't want to go. It was cold and snowing and windy. And all I wanted to do was stay home and build something with the Lego's Santa brought me. Aunt May was willing to break tradition, but he wasn't. Oh man, it was so cold. Aunt May had me all bundled up, like that kid from A Christmas Story." Peter paused to laugh at the memory and Gwen joined it, imagining a pint-sized Peter trapped in layers of clothes. "It was pouring the snow down but we did it. And I've loved it ever since. They couldn't get me to come back in after that. I kept telling him, 'Let's just go one more block. Just one more, Uncle Ben.'" Peter took his eyes off of the couple strolling below and spoke directly to Gwen. Not for the first time that day, tears were in her eyes. She really was incredible. "I didn't know how to handle today. I understand why you and your mom tried to make today a good day. But I couldn't do it. We didn't even put up a tree this year." He trailed off and Gwen picked up with her own story.

"Christmas was the holiday that we always spent together. My dad wasn't always the best at delegating but we were always first on Christmas day. It made the day extra special because I knew that even if something happened at work, he wasn't leaving us. We had his undivided attention. I'm proud that he was a police officer but it wasn't easy. He would get called out in the middle of the night on a regular basis. And that isn't something that you get used to. But we got him for Christmas." She paused for a moment to wipe her eyes on her gloves. "It's really dumb but when I woke up this morning, I forgot he wouldn't be here. I got so excited. I think my brothers did too. So I spent the whole day acting like everything was fine and this Christmas was just like all the others. But it isn't."

Those Christmas Lights
Light up the street
Down where the sea and city meet
May all your troubles soon be gone
Ohh Christmas Lights keep shining on

Peter put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. "I'm so sorry." He didn't know what else to say or do. They frequently argued about who was to blame for her father's death. Naturally, Peter put the blame on himself and he didn't know that she would ever change his mind on the subject. But now wasn't the time to bring that topic up. Besides, that apology covered a lot of areas on the particular day. He was sorry he didn't comfort her earlier that day. He was sorry he left without an explanation. But most of all he was sorry her dad wasn't there to spend the day with her and her family.

Those Christmas Lights
Light up the street
Maybe they'll bring her back to me
Then all my troubles will be gone

When they started kissing, Peter didn't know. He was pretty sure she initiated it, but he wasn't complaining or pulling away. Suddenly, all he wanted to do was comfort her in any way possible. So he poured all of the love he felt for her into that kiss. That way she would never wonder what she meant to him. They only stopped when both were out of breath and even then their foreheads were still touching.

"Maybe we could start a new tradition." Gwen whispered, as if she were afraid to break the moment. "You do frequently visit rooftops. Maybe you could find a nice one for us to watch the lights from? They are too beautiful to ignore."

Appreciating the suggestion and knowing that he was forgiven, he kissed her one more time. "I would love that." After a moment, he added, "And we could spend time with your family. No distractions, no Spider-Man. Just the family."

Gwen smiled a smile that made Peter's heart soar. "That sounds perfect, Bugboy." And she kissed him again, for good measure.

Ohh Christmas Lights keep shining on

A/N: This ended up being a little sadder than I originally intended. But it has a happy ending! In case you were wondering, this story goes along with one of my other fics ( She Isn't Gwen) and I do plan on writing a couple other stories. They are in the works at the moment! Drop a review/constructive criticism if you feel inclined. Thanks for reading!