Hi there!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and earn money with it!
This Story has been lying on my PC for over a year now. I've finally finished it and hope it isn't that bad, no Beta and my writer program wont show me any mistakes...
Normally I don't really like mpreg stories but it suddenly hit me and I had to get it of my chest! So here it is, enjoy, leave a comment and or some criticism, oh and flames will be used to warm me in harsh winter nights! =)
The story has some graphic violence, rape mentions, blood and other bodilyfluids... and it is sad...
Greetings The Butler
Nine Months
"I'm going to be sick!" the young man told him before he lost what little he had eaten yesterday. It wouldn't be the first or last time, Severus knew that. He sighed and reached for the heaving man to hold his black hair out of the pale face.
"Breath, Potter." he advised calmly, rubbing cycles over the skinny back. Potter gave him a glare and heaved once again into the bucket which was standing next to his bed. It was nothing new to both of them but the younger one wouldn't accept it that easily. It was his life and his body, not a plaything for Voldemort. But what could he do? He was a prisoner after all, no wand, no friends, no news from the outside, only Snape was there with him and the greasy dungeon bat wasn't such a good counsellor or therapist. And he really needed one after those three horrible months.
Snape gave the shaking man a last pat on the shoulder and went into to bathroom to grab a towel. Silently and very carefully he cleaned the sweating face and helped the young man back onto the bed. "You should rest. I will fetch the tea and my breakfast." he told Potter, who nodded, his eyes closed and his concentration fixed on his breathing. The older male gave a deep sigh and stood.
It was only a bit morning sickness but Potter wasn't looking good at all. He had lost weight. He hadn't been in good health before and now it was going down very fast. It had clearly been too much stress for the young man.
After losing the battle and succumbing to the Dark Lord he hadn't had any peace. No, the Dark Lord wouldn't leave his new plaything that easily. Not after the first night.
Potter had screamed, so loud that even Snape heard him down in his prisoncell in the dungeons. After that Potter had been a mere shadow of him self. Even now, a month after the Lords last visit, Potter was still nervous and screaming every night.
Snape couldn't do much for the younger one. He had a small potions lab a few rooms down the hall, but Potter needed him here. He couldn't be left alone for a long time while suffering under paranoia and panic attacks. Potter was a wreck.
He was allowed to roam this house freely but he was too frightened to leave his room. It was his saferoom. The Dark Lord hadn't been in here but in every other room so Potter hid in his bed waiting for his life to end.
Snape went into the small kitchen and made a stomach soothing tea for Potter, a strong black coffee for himself and a toast. Potter wouldn't eat anything at this time of morning. The morning sickness left him always exhausted and grumpy.
Returning with a steaming cup for Potter and his own breakfast he found the bed empty. The potions master sighed and placed the dishes on the bed side table before he ventured into the small bathroom. He knew what Potter was doing and he wasn't that keen for the following moodswings. Potter would be down right unbearable after his morning-mirror-session. He caught the younger male in front of the wall length mirror. He had pulled his nightshirt up and was looking at his still flat belly. He was only in his second month and he wouldn't see anything unusual at least for the next two months.
"Potter." he said, his deep voice strict like in his old Hogwarts days. He missed those times, but they were over now. Forever.
Potters green eyes left his reflection and searched for Severus dark gaze. "Why do I still live?" he asked. His voice was small and broken.
Severus sighed. He already knew how that would end. He entered the bathroom and took Potters hands in his. "Come, you should lay down. You are to weak and it will hurt the baby." he said stroking the pale skin. The younger male shook his head. "NO!" he hissed and turned around. "I don't want to! I don't want to have that thing, that monster!" he shouted.
"Be still and go back to bed!" Severus growled and grabbed the thin man by his shoulders. He forced the man back into the bedroom and down on the bed. Potter wasn't strong enough to do anything against it. But he could still shout and insult the other man eventhough it wouldn't help him. Severus let him finally go and fetched the tea for his young companion. Potter gave him a cold stare but took the steaming cup grumpily. Severus went back to his own breakfast and sipped his coffee in silence. Every now and then he glanced over the room to Potter who was looking down on his thick covers, cradling his cup close to his chest.
"What's wrong.", he sighed already knowing what was going on in the boys head. He already knew Potter so well it was nearly frightening and he couldn't explain to himself why he was still asking those stupid questions even though he already knew the damn answers.
Potter glared at him but his gaze faltered after some seconds and he looked back on his lap. "I don't want to be here. Why haven't I been killed like the others. Like all my friends?" the young man asked. His voice raw, full, of emotions. Severus let the question sink for a bit. He had often asked himself the same question after Lily had been killed and after he had killed Dumbledore, the only real father figure he had in his stupid life. Why them and not him? But after all these years living in misery he stopped asking himself and lived on. Not a happy life but a life with a purpose. He had to protected that brat infront of him. At first because he had made a vow after Lilys death and now because of the Dark Lord to stay alive. He was the boys permanent babysitter, a prisoner like him and with no chance to escape his fate. "You live to tell the story. You live to carry new life and it doesn't matter if the life you are carrying is a spawn of a devil. The child is innocent and it's your responsibility to look after it, as it's mine to look after you, or we both die.", he said. They were harsh words but Potter wouldn't understand it any other way. He was a Gryffindor after all. Stubborn till the end...and miffed with the idea to die.
Potters eyes shone full of hate when he looked back up. "Shut up." he growled. Snape leaned forward, piercing his dark orbs into the green ones. "You will live and have that child! Stop complaining and drink your tea it will soothe your stomach, you have to eat after all.", he said and stood, leaving the younger one alone. He wasn't in the mood to deal with that dunderhead today, he needed some time alone. With this nightmare of a life and Potter with his haunted existence his patience was worn down. But he wouldn't end his life. No, not now. He had to watch the boy, he made his promise and he would full fill it, till the end.
He made his way into the small lab, but left the door ajar to know if the boy would need him. He wouldn't leave him too long. Potter wasn't feeling well and started to panic after he had calmed down, but that would take some time and Severus could look after some potions he still had simmering on the hearth.
The calming draught was nearly finished and it was the most important one. If he dosed Potter correctly he would have some more hours to sleep and both would be a bit calmer. And Severus would have some time for himself and his potions.
He was working in silence. Every stir and chop sat perfectly and at ease. His mind calmed and he breathed deeply.
He missed his former life, his work, even the dunderheads and Dumbledore, with his ever twinkling blue eyes and unhealthy crave for muggle candy. He almost smiled over a fond memory of the headmasters uncountable attempts to make Severus take a lemon drop.
A scream shook him out of his reverie. He calmly placed his knife down, reduced the heat and walked out of his lab. He knew this scream. Potter had one of his nightmares.
They weren't anything made of imagination, they were memories. Sometimes of his parents, the Diggory-Boy, or his dogfather, but mostly about the Dark Lord and the terrifying nights in his bed. Severus felt pity for the boy but he wouldn't cuddle him. Potter needed his strength and his thick head to stay alive and escape one day after he had killed that ugly snakeface.
When Severus finally entered the room Potter was already choking on his own sobs but was awake. That was new. Normally he had to shake him awake and duck before he was kicked or punched. Tearfilled eyes latched on to him.
"Help me..." the thin and shivering form whispered. Snapes heart throbbed in his chest. He knew the boy was broken, but not so bad. Slowly he made his way around the bed and sat down on the mattress.
With utmost care he encircled the shaking man in his arms and pulled him closer. He held him until he stopped crying, stroking his back until he stopped shivering and held him as long as Potter needed it.
"Thank you." were the first words he heard after some hours. Both of them were lying on the soft bed, shoulders still touching. Severus never thought to be thanked by Potter but he took it without fussing. "I'm lucky to have you...and grateful, thank you." Potter said and laid his head down on the older mans shoulder. Snape stayed silent. But a small smile tugged on his mouth.
The days became colder. Severus looked out of the window, the thick blanket tight around his shoulders. It was only the end of September but the nights became very cold up here in the north of Scotland. He didn't really know were they were exactly but he could guess their position quite good by the things he saw outside of this window. He wasn't allowed to leave the house, except the small yard behind the kitchendoor were someone else had grown some herbs and vegetables. He was the boys watcher and a prisoner like him, after the Dark Lord had uncovered Severus double spying tendencies. So the snake had knocked up the boy and had left both here, all alone. He was allowed to roam the house like he wanted without a guard ore anyone else except of Potter, but he couldn't leave and Potter too.
The younger male was still some what depressed and the self-hatred grew along the bulge he was now sporting. Severus had already stopped him several times to hurt himself or the baby. Today he had tried to drown himself in the tub. Now he was pouting and hiding under his blankets. "I hate you." came the muffled voice of his pregnant charge.
Severus sighed and stood up to make himself a tea and to light a fire. He went into the small kitchen down the hall of the one story house, but left the door to the bedroom ajar. Potter still suffered under panic attacks, when he stayed alone too long but Severus had at last some more time for himself and his potions. With a big cup in his hand he visited his small lab and looked after the bruisebalm which was still simmering. He sat down on a chair and stared into the fire. He wasn't sure if Potter would be strong enough to kill the Dark Lord, or even bear the child.
The Boy was weak in body and mind. He refused to eat enough and stayed awake too long to prevent the nightmares he had every night. Severus already gave him enough calming draughts and sleep potions to sedate an elephant. It wasn't healthy for the pregnant boy or the baby but he couldn't do anything else. He was at his wits end.
Exhaling in defeat he stirred the thickening balm a few times before he took the cauldron from the fire. He let it cool and stayed in front of the warming fire. He lost him self in his memories of his teaching days. A time long ago when he had to endure those dunderheads and exploding cauldrons. A happy time with minor problems like Longbottom and his troubles to produce any potions. Or punishing Potter when his cauldron once again exploded because of Draco who had once again botched it up.
Draco. His face grew sorrowful.
He had cheated the young Malfoy. He was the boys godfahter and he left him to fend this fight alone. Now he was his fathers puppet. Eventhough he didn't get any news here in their secluded cottage, he knew that Lucius was back in the highest ranks of the Dark Lords inner circle. And Draco had to do both biddings to stay in their grace and alive, after his disappointing behaviour last year and the Dumbledore escapade the year before. Severus had promised him to help him, free him from his father and the snake all together. But he had failed him. He was useless, his promises nothing more than lies.
A scream down the hall made him jump. He was on his feet in an instance and out of the room in a sec. Potter was screaming again when he reached the room. "What's wrong?" he asked after he found the boy wide awake and not captured in one of his nightmares.
The boy was deathly pale, breathing heavy and clutching his middle. "It hurts!" Potter coughed, cringing in obvious pain. Severus hurried to the bed and helped him to lie on his side. He lifted the blankets and stopped horrified. The boys nightclothes were stained with blood.
"What happened?" he asked while pealing the lose pants from the skinny legs. Potter sobbed into his pillow. "I don't know! It suddenly started to burn like hell and I felt sick!" he whispered.
Panic rose in the potions master. It couldn't be the baby. Potter must not have a miscarriage, not now. Not after only four and a half months of pregnancy!
Carefully he pushed Potters legs apart to look were the blood was coming from.
Before the Dark Lord had used the boy as a fucktoy he made some precautions that the boy could get pregnant. There was a very useful potion, only known in very old wizarding families who inbred their children. The potion allowed even males to get pregnant and change their bodies to have an uterus and a birthchannel which would only open when the baby would be born.
Severus wiped some blood with his sleeve away and released the breath he was holding. The channel was still closed. Potter wasn't miscarrying. But were was that blood coming from.
"Is it okay?" Potters weak voice asked.
"I mean, is the ba...baby okay?" It was the first time for Potter to address his child as a human life and not as a demon or monster. Severus looked up into frightful green eyes. Full of pain and tears. He nodded and laid a hand on the bulge under Potters nightshirt. "Yes, but you are still in pain, can you tell me where it hurts the most?" Potters hand was shaking when he pointed at his stomach. Severus helped him to lie on his back and carefully felt for the place. "Does it hurt when I apply a bit pressure there?" he asked. Potters breath hitched and he gave a painful moan. "Yes!" he hissed and tried to curl in on himself.
"I think it's your digesting system. You haven't eaten enough, together with the stress and less sleep, the acid in your stomach has eaten away on the inner walls until it bleeds." Severus explained and laid a hand on the boys forehead. As expected the boy was running a fever.
Severus stood and covered him with his blanket. "I'll get you a calming draught and something against the pain. In an hour you will eat a light soup together with a healing potion. Hopefully it isn't that serious." he told his charge and rushed out of the room.
It was late at night when Potter was finally some what pain free and his stomach as full as it could be. Severus had prepared some warm water to clean the boy from the blood which had been coming from his rectrum. There would come some more the next time when Potter would go on the toilet but hopefully his stomach would be healed in a few days. Severus couldn't make very potent healing potions, he wasn't allowed some of the needed ingredients, but they would still be more effective than some muggle medication. Those would heal the boy not as fast as the wizarding method.
After he had cleaned the boy and helped him into a new pair of trousers, he sat down on the plush chair next to Potters bed. He would watch the boy, who was still sporting a high fever. A reaction of his body against the infection in his stomach. "Snape..." Potter started. He was nearly asleep, his eyes nearly closed. "Snape... I was scared...I was scared to lose it. The baby...why?" he slurred. His tong as heavy as his eyelids. Severus rubbed his burning eyes. He was too tired to have a conversation about Potters unusual behaviour. "Maybe your mother instinct finally kicked in." he mumbled and rested his chin on his hand while he watched Potter. The boy gave a small, humourless laugh. "That's ridiculous." "Maybe" Severus replied, a thin grin stayed on his face while Potter drifted into a much needed sleep.
"Snape?" The potions master pulled his robe tighter. It was awfully cold out here. "Snape, are you here?" Potter rounded the corner and stopped in the door way. Severus looked up and shook his head. "Go back to bed, you dunderhead! You're not even wearing socks!" he chided the boy and went back to his work. He was hacking new fire wood behind the small house. It was nearly december and the snow reached up to his knees. He could have the house elf do that but he had to do something on his own. Staying in the house twenty for seven made him crazy. Eventough Potter had been a decent room mate of late and they even had some good conservations, nothing complex, he couldn't expect too much from a Griffindor. But still, he was a prisoner, with out his wand and only limited access to potions ingredients and only a few books on a shelf in Harry's bedroom. So it was no wonder that he was bored and in need of some activity. Making firewood was a good workout and he had time to think without a Potter watching him, or asking questions. But he hadn't been out here for a long time and again the young man was bothering him.
Potters belly had swollen nicely the last two months. Potters pregnancy was due in early February. Only two months to go and he was developing nicely.
After his stomach had been healed he had changed his behaviour radically. He was more active, ate more and started to like his body and it's changing. After some time he even started to like the new life he was going to bear.
Severus was very pleased with the young man but at that moment he would have liked some alone time. Potter was even bothering him when he was in the lab! Damn brat!
"But I wanted to ask you some thing!" the boy grinned and hopped from one food to the other because of the cold tiles he was standing on.
Severus stopped his work and leaned on the heavy axe. "I'm waiting!" he drawled. Potters green eyes glittered with mischief. "What about that Name: Egon Hubert Riddle?" he asked trying to maintain a straight face. Severus shook his head in disbelieve. " I never thought you would be worse in anything but potions! But choosing babynames is clearly the worst!" he huffed and returned to his work.
Potter started to laugh and held his belly. "I'm only joking!" he giggled happily. Severus snorted and parted another log in half. "I haven't noticed!"
Potter grinned and stroked his stomach. "Don't worry, I already have a name for him." he smiled. Severus, who had glanced up at that moment, let the axe sink again. He couldn't remember when Potter had looked that happy and carefree. Not at hogwarts...maybe never. It was a wonderful sight and Severus heartbeat sped up.
"And why, prey tell me Mr. Potter, do you think it will be a boy?" he asked smirking at his former pupil. Harry gave him a cocky glance while still stroking his babybelly. "I just know. His name will be Salazar Sirius Potter."
"Salazar?" the potions master inquired lifting one single eyebrow. "Yes, like Salazar Slytherin. I find it very fitting. He will be a powerful man, like his fathers, but hopefully not as dark as one of them." he told Severus and turned. The black haired man watched him waddle back into the house with a small grin. Potter had matured in the last months. Maybe the future wont be that dark after all. Maybe Potter would be brave and strong enough to rid the world from the snakeface. When not for the world but for his unborn child. But only time would tell.
When he entered the house two hours later he was sweating and felt totally refreshed. And hungry. But first he would take a shower, he could call the houseelf later. As he crossed the hallway he suddenly felt a burning pain in his left arm. His dark mark was burning. The Dark Lord was coming.
Severus swore and rushed into Potters room. The boy was sitting in the plushchair and was reading. "Snape, what's wrong?" he asked irritated, closing his book.
"He's coming!"
Potters face paled immediately. His hands began to shake and Severus had to hurry before the boy slipped from the chair. He lifted him up and lay him down on the bed. "Stay calm, I will try to stop him before he enters. I tell him that you are ill, or something like that. Just stay calm and breathe." he whispered to the panicking man. Potter nodded, closing his eyes and concentrating on his breathing. Snape covered him with a blanket and hurried back into the hall, closing the bedroom door.
He hadn't been a second to late. Voldemort was already entering the house. Snape knelt down and bowed his head. The dark wizard was alone. Not Snape nor Potter were a thread to him without their wands. He was after all the ruler of wizarding Britain, maybe even ruler over all the country and about to conquer more. Maybe France, or Germany, both had some promising tendencies towards the dark after Grindelwalds reign only 60 years ago. And he was the wielder of the most powerfull wand currently know. Snape suppressed a shiver.
The dark wizard stopped right infront of Snape, gazing down on the spy, who's life he spared because he needed a capable man to care for Potter and the baby. Without Potter he was worth nothing.
"Severus, you smell." he told the kneeling man, sneering in disgust. "Greasy as always. But tell me, were is young Potter and my heir. I presume both are healthy?" his words left no room for arguments. Snape swallowed thickly.
He hated that man with every fibre of his body but feared him all the same. And he feared for Potter who had suffered the most under the wizard in the last months. "Potter and the baby are well, my Lord. The boy is in his room and resting. He is feeling under the weather but that is nothing uncommon during a pregnancy." he told the snake face without an emotion in his voice. He was still able to occlude his mind and calm his racing heart, a useful ability while dealing with the dark wizard. The Crucio hit him not unexpected. There weren't many things which would stop the man to spare his slaves from a good old torture session.
Severus ground his teeth together to prevent the scream which was trying to free itself from his twitching body. The curse only lasted two minutes. Severus has had worse, but today he had no potion to take afterwards against the tremors and twitching, but he would endure it like always.
"Show me to the boy, now!" Voldemort ordered and Severus stood on trembling legs. He hoped that Potter would be calm enough. It wasn't good for him to have a panic attack right infront of the Dark Lord, totally defenceless and weak.
Severus opened the door to Potters room with a racing heart. Voldemort never had been in this room before. It was Potters safe heaven, until now.
The snakefaced man crossed the threshold with billowing robes, taking in the room with one red glance before he strode directly to the bed and it's occupant. Severus hurried in behind him and was looking with fright at the former hero. He feared for the worst, but was surprised to find the black haired man sitting up right facing his worst nightmare with a bravery Severus thought had been lost along the torture and rapes. Eventhough his body was shaking and his breath was very shallow he was facing Voldemort who had stopped right infront of the bed with a sick glee in his red eyes.
"I've missed you, Potter. My bed had been so very cold since last time and your screams, I really missed them." drawled the dark man and reached for Potter's blanket. The young man's hands jerked down to hold it tight, but Voldemort was faster and removed it in a fluid motion. Potters brave behaviour fell that moment and the traumatised boy gasped for air when the panic sized his body. Voldemort chuckled darkly and sat down on the bed. Potter tried to scoot away but the older man's hands were again much faster. Long, pale fingers grabbed the boys wrists and pulled him closer. His free right hand wavered over the noticeable bulge under Potters thin shirt. "It has grown nicely." he murmured to himself. "He." a broken voice cut in. Surprised Voldemorts red eyes focused on Potters pale and sweating face. "The baby is a boy!" Potter said. He tried to be brave but that attitude was already crushed into pieces under the Dark Lords feet.
Voldemorts eyes shot down to the growing bulge. His hand trembled for a second and finally he touched it.
Potter screamed when he felt the hand on his stomach and tried to kick the cruel wizard away. Voldemort snarled and his hand slapped the young man a cross the face, leaving an angry looking handprint. Potter put a hand to his aching face and tried to leave the bed, but Voldemort was still faster and caught him by the throat. The black haired man choked and tried to pry the fingers away. Voldemort hissed at him. He squeezed hard and Potter struggled more, gasping for air which wouldn't come. His pale face turned red and then blue.
"Stop, please, my Lord. It could hurt the baby!" Severus shouted, his voice croaking when he finally came out of his stupor. He was at the bed in a flash, kneeling beside the suffocating boy and pleading for his life. Voldemorts red gaze fixated first on his former Death Eater and then on the nearly lifeless form of the Boy-Who-Lived and his growing babybelly. With an angry hiss he let the boys throat go and turned to Severus. He suddenly looked very calm but the former Hogwarts Professor wouldn't be fooled. Behind those red eyes was a black sea full of hate and anger hidden.
The last thing Severus saw for a long while were Potters teary green eyes full of gratitude and fear.
He couldn't remember how long he had been tortured. When it finally stopped he was lying on the floor, blood, spit and sweat was running down his shattered body. Violent tremors were shaking his thin form and he had problems to breath. Voldemort was gone but the pain wouldn't stop for now. Maybe tomorrow when he had digested some pain potions or drank himself into a stupor. But first he had to look after Potter.
Potter! The Baby! He sat up as fast as his body would react. He dismissed the dizzy spell and got to his feet. Suddenly he felt very sick and the gravity pulled him down on the carpet. Down into the puddle of sweat and other bodily fluids which made his stomach twist in agony. A cold hand helped him to roll on his side when he lost his lunch and breakfast and stroked back his hair which was plastered to his aching skull. He coughed on the bitter taste and stifled a sob. Now two cold hands were stroking his face with care. "Potter?" he mumbled, while drooling all over the carpet. One of the hands disappeared, but returned with a cold and wet cloth which took care of the sweat on his face and the vomit on his lips. "Pot-" he tried again but a slender hand on his cheek stopped him. "It's Harry, Severus." the young mans voice told him. Severus breath hitched and he opened his eyes eventhough he still felt sick and everything was spinning like a mad carussell. The other came into focus. Severus noted the pale skin and the red eyes. Had he been crying. Had Voldemort? No! The bastard! He started to shake in his rage and hurt. That hideous, evil, vile monster!
The low voice of his former pupil called him back from the horrible images his mind was showing him. "Severus, calm down! I'm fine. The child and I are unharmed thanks to you." he was told. But Severus Snape only believed something when he found proof of it. He pushed his body, which was heavy like lead, up onto his elbows. His eyes found the younger man and instantly started searching for any injury. A low chuckle made him halt. "I'm okay. But you are not." Potter, no Harry, yes, that sounded right, told him, taking his hands in his. They were still cool and dry. With strength, he hadn't thought the boy could posses, he was hauled from the floor. His head was spinning madly and he felt very sick again, but only until his trembling body hit the mattress. "Wait here, I'll fetch you some healing potions. And pepper up, if there's still some left." he heard the younger man say and leave with hurried steps. Severus exhaled shakingly and tried to calm his erratic heart and rasping breath. The sick feeling had left, but he still felt exhausted and ill. Harry was back faster than he thought and coaxed him to drink the potions. Severus shivered but gulped the liquids down like a good boy. When he had downed the last one Harry helped him settle down correctly and spread the warm blanket over his tired and shaking body. "Thank you." he slurred and turned his head towards his former student who settled next to him in bed. They never had laid together but Severus was oddly comforted by Harry's action and he felt that the boy needed that contact as much as Severus himself.
They were silent and Severus felt the pain subside into a dull ache. His head still throbbed and some tremors shock his thin frame, but all together he felt fine. Pott-Harry was fine, at least physically.
"Harry?" he asked, his voice not more than a whisper. He was tired and sleep was calling for him, but he wanted to ask something. Something important. "Harry? Are you awake?" He heard a distant MHM and the young man shifted under the warm blanket. They were touching but he liked the warmth on his side. "Harry, may I ask you something." he pressed further. "What's up." was the slurred answer on his side. Severus turned until he was facing the younger one who had opened one tired green eye. "He didn't hurt you, right. He left you alone after he was finished with me, right?" he asked urgently. The respond was a shaky nod. "I hate him...he is, he is...please don't do that again, don't shield me from him...I can't stand seeing you getting hurt because of me. I thought he would kill you, I thought I would loose you...I...I..." Harry started to sob. The old potion master sucked in a shocked breath but encircled the other man in a comforting hug. He patted the thin back while Harry sobbed into his hands, pressed tight against Severus chest. "Shhh..." he murmured in compassion, stroking the shaking man until he stopped and calmed down again. "You wont loose me when you look after yourself and your baby. I'll always be there to help you. I wont leave you, I swear." he said in earnest. Harry gave a satisfied sigh and snuggled closer, wrapping his own arms around the older man's neck. "That's good..." sighed the boy and closed his eyes, settling down finally relaxing. They stayed like that for some time. Both were somewhat tired but it felt good to be held like that.
"Severus." Harry started after some time. "Yes, what is it Potter?" the man teased. Harry gave a small snorting laugh, disguised as an angry huff. "Seriously, Professor." he sighed but propped himself up on his elbows. Green eyes looked down into his dark ones. "Severus. I will kill him. I will kill that monster. You, I and my son will get out of here. Next time I will kill him! I don't know how though, but I'll find something. Even If I have to choke him with his own tongue." the young man growled. Severus chuckled and patted the black unruly hair. "Still the hero." he sighed smirking. Harry nodded and settled back down, closing his eyes. He fell asleep shortly after. Severus stayed awake watching him sleep. One of his hands trailed down the thin back and over the side until he had reached the babybelly. He left his hand resting right over the navel, flat over the thin shirt. The skin under it was warm and seemed to glow with live and happiness. Severus sucked in a breath and closed his eyes, feeling the warmth, the live and his own happiness. Harry wouldn't be alone when he would face Voldemort. Severus wouldn't leave him alone, not now, not ever.
A smile tucked on his lips and he finally settled down to sleep.
He watched the other with narrowed eyes bowing down and gathering some snow in his gloved hands. He watched him standing up again, finding his balance which was somewhat disturbed by his growing belly. He calmly watched him raising his arm, a goodsized snowball in his right hand. "Tell me, Mr. Potter. What are your intentions with this fine ball made of snow?" he inquired, raising one of his black eyebrows. The man in question stifled a laugh, but couldn't hide the grin on his rosy cheeks. He cocked his head to one side and bit on his lower lip, while he was thinking. "Mh, I haven't decided yet, but I think it has something to do with throwing." he replied in a thoughtful tone. "Really?" he drawled, tucking one strand of black hair behind his ear. The other gave a nod, still grinning. "And where, do you plan, will that snow be thrown?" "At you!" came the shout and the ball hit Severus directly in the chest. The older man looked down on his now partly white robes and sneered in disgust. "Oh, I see." he said, voice calm. The young man, standing not far away, tried to stifle his laughter, hugging his quivering stomach. "But what, Mr. Potter would you think, when this pleasure would be returned?" was his question, voice dry, while he gathered some snow in his ungloved hands. The other man couldn't suppress a giggle and looked at him with laughter in his green eyes. He smirked and rose his arm. "I'll count to three." he gave the warning and the other was running for his live, shrieking with laughter.
Severus smirked and hid his grin behind his hand when he ushered Harry back into the house. The boys cheeks were flushed and he was still laughing quietly. The little snowfight had been the best idea he has ever had to cheer both of them up. It was Christmas day and until now both had been some what depressed. After Voldemorts visit they had chaired Harry's bed every night. Hugging each other close to fend of the nightmares. Harry would often wake up screaming and Severus would be there to calm him. After that they talked in hushed tones. Sometimes about Hogwarts and DADA, sometimes about Potions or Quidditch until they were able to sleep again. It helped both of them with the fear and stress. Harry was healthy and his belly was growing nicely, which made Severus more happy than ever. He was proud regarding the boys behaviour, his courage. Eventhough Voldemort still did frighten him to his bones and the thought to be violated by him again made him sick instantly, he was still looking forward to have his baby. He was happy to become a daddy. And that made Severus more happy than he would have ever thought.
Harry made him happy.
The boy was waddling into the small kitchen to make some tea. He could have called the house elf which provided them the most time with their food, but this was one of the small things they were allowed to do in the kitchen. At first Severus had been allowed to cook, but after Voldemorts last visit they were only allowed to make tea. Harry was getting a new diet to keep the baby healthy, which was always prepared by a house elf. Pregnant men required some more to let the baby grow up as healthy as others. And Voldemort wanted that child to be healthy. Harry was only a vessel but a particular nice one. Severus agreed somewhat, but he would never say that aloud, that Harry was pretty or anything like that.
"Severus." he was nudged into his side and took the offered cup with a smile. "Thank you." Harry grinned and sat down onto the kitchentable. Severus, while sipping his tea, was still smiling. Harry glanced up at him several times until he had enough and finally asked what the older was smiling about. Severus made a wide hand gesture. "I like that. I like this moment when we can be at ease and content. I like..." he trailed of and turned is face away, realising what he was about to say. Harry grinned and let it slip, some how he knew what Severus nearly had said. "Yeah, I like it too, it's nice to be unafraid, if only for a few hours." he said quietly, his face a bit troubled but all the same glowing with happiness. Severus held his cup out to him for a refill. "Then lets try to keep it like that." Harry was happy to agree.
The day went by uneventful and left both of them in their bubble of content for once in a while, but the next day, Christmas morning brought some thing else, which destroyed their small time of peace.
It were presents. Presents for Harry from the Dark Lord. Presents Harry wished he would have never seen.
They were pictures and reports from the "Daily Prophet" about Voldemorts rise and his dictate. It were the first informations about the world outside both had for more than eight months. They were held in the darkness all the time and now Voldemort send them every information they had missed so far. The learned about the Orders downfall, about McGonagalls execution and many others. Under them Neville Longbottom and Draco Malfoy, which grieved Severus more than he wanted to show. Draco had helped some of his former yearmates to escape his families dungeons, under them some of the remaining Weasleys, Hermoine Granger, the Lovegoods and two Professors, Flitwick and Hagrid. Draco had been executed in November. And they learned about the Genocide Voldemort and his Death Eaters did, whose population increased daily out of fright, on the Muggleborn witches and wizards and their families. But they also learned that Voldemorts reign wasn't as strong as he tried to show. There were small hints in those reports but both of them were able to gather the necessary bits and pieces. And they learned that Voldemorts moves were erratic and some time with out any logic or thought. Maybe he was loosing the last bits of his sanity after all. Maybe he became mad enough to make a grave mistake, an opening they could use to escape.
The hope grew along the grieve for the lost lives.
They slept in their own beds that night. Both deep in thought and Severus crying silently over his godchilds untimely but heroic death. He would have loved to tell Draco how proud and angry he was. Proud because of his aide to the right side and anger towards his stupidity to get himself caught. And he was still angry at himself, for not being there, taking the blunt of Voldemorts anger and dying for the young man who he had watched growing up.
It was late in the night or early the next morning when he felt a cool hand on his hot cheek still damp with fresh tears. Harry silently slit next to him under the thick blanket, hugging him close until Severus stopped crying. Their breaths evened out but both of them lay awake until the sun rose behind the thick snow clouds.
"Potter." Severus was awake the instance he heard the low hiss. Harry shivering beside him sat up in bed. They were still in Severus' bed clutching each other close for comfort. But now there was that cold presence in the room with them and Severus already knew that it only could be the Dark Lord and he clearly wasn't pleased.
"Potter, are you unfaithful to me? Are you fucking Severus by now, or do I have to be afraid that the baby you're carrying isn't mine, is some one else bastard." the voice was low but send violent shivers down both spines. Harry tried to say something, the former potions master could feel his breathing getting erratic while he opened and closed his mouth several times. "Maybe I have to show you were your place is after all." Voldemort contemplated.
Severus sat up immediately, reaching for Harry to shield him, but the dark man was faster. The curse whipped through the air as red bolt, clashing into Harry's unprotected side. The young man screamed in agony, violent shivers and cramps shook his fragile body. Severus tried to hold the younger one but a second cures directed at him bound him to the bed motionless. He was petrified and had to watch while Voldemort cursed Harry a second and a third time, the red light of the crucio cackling in the air. Harry's screams finally ceased when the fourth crucio had been lifted.
The boys breathing was heaving and small whimpers escaped his bloody lips. He had bitten through the thin skin until he bled. But the most horrible sight were his eyes. The green orbs filled with tears and panic. He was afraid, loosing the only one who was on his side and his unborn child. Severus chest ached but he couldn't help him while he lay frozen on the bed.
Voldemort stalked closer, grabbing the young man by both ankles and turning him onto his stomach. "I'll show you, who you belong to.", he hissed and grabbed Harry by his neck. The thin nightshirt Harry was wearing wasn't a hindrance and was ripped open with one clawed and pale hand. Red, insane eyes raked over the pale back, trailing down to the small globes of firm flesh over delicate muscles.
"I nearly forgot how beautiful you are. What a delicate and tempting piece of meat." he purred lovingly while thin hands ghosted over the shivering skin.
Severus watched with horror while Voldemort stroked and caressed every part of Harry he could reach while the young man lied on his front. He heard Harry's hitching, panicking breath, saw his horror and felt the quiet sobs vibrating through the mattress. "Do you want to watch my dear Severus? Do you want to see him scream and beg for more? Oh, you will love it." Voldemort said to him, his voice a low hiss and his eyes fixed onto Severus' which were the only things that could be move. Severus felt sick but didn't close his eyes. He had to be strong for Harry. Harry needed him now and later. They would survive.
Voldemort laughed quietly and spread Harrys pale thighs. The young man screamed but held still when Voldemort gave his behind a playful clap. "Not so loud. You'll have enough to scream about when I'm fucking you!", Voldemort laughed into Harrys ear and pushed his face down into the soft pillows.
Severus felt dizzy while he watched Voldemort violating Harry. The blood was too scarlet and Harry too pale. His eyes burned like emerald flames into Severus black ones. Both hoped it would be over soon.
Voldemort didn't last long and seemed exhausted after his fevered pounding into the struggling body of his prisoner. He finally let go of Harrys neck, leaving red marks were his nails had dug into the sensitive skin. His breath was heavy when he pulled himself up and stood next to the bed. But he looked more than satisfied. His red eyes trailed lovingly over the blood and semen covered man and settled onto Severus. "I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did my dear Severus. I'll take my leave now. Merry Christmas." he hissed with a smile on his ugly snakelike face.
As the door closed with a thud Severus was able to move again. He sat up and reached for Harry, but his shaking hand stilled when the younger one flinched away. He took a deep breath and tried to stay as calm as he was able too. Harry was still bleeding and in pain. He wasn't able to check the baby's health without a wand, but he needed to clean Harry up and get him to rest and to forget. Carefully he covered the hurt man with the blanket they had chared only an hour ago peacefully sleeping. He stood and left for the bathroom to gather towels and a bowl with warm water.
It took him some time to clean the frightened man up and get him back into his own room and bed. Severus talked about everything and nothing at all, his voice calm and soothing. He suppressed his anger and dread for now, stomping down on his feelings.
"Harry, you have to drink it, it's a sleeping potion, the pain potion is out, I'm sorry, I'll brew one now." he whispered and held out the small bottle. Harry wiped his still flowing tears away and took the vial with shaking hands. Severus gave a small smile and took the bottle back. "I'll be only down the hall, I'll brew the potion and be back before you wake. No one will harm you." he soothed, caressing the pale cheek carefully. Harry stopped shivering after a while and finally let himself sleep. Severus was left alone staring at the hurt man. His tears came silently but it didn't take long until he was wrecked with violent sobs. How he hated this live. Oh how much he hated it.
He didn't stopped crying for a while, not until he had no tears any more.
Severus was there, a newly brewed pain potion at hand, when Harry regained consciousness. The young man was disorientated and in pain. Severus helped him taking the draught. Harry was shaking and Severus knew what effort it took him to keep it down. "Severus." he panted. "It's okay Harry, stay calm. I have you, I'm here." he soothed and caressed the pale face, which was scrunched in obvious pain. "Severus! It hurts!" Harry cried softly clutching his blankets. Severus shifted onto the bed, gathering the thin body up in his arms. "It'll go away, the potion will work in a minute." he said, stroking the matted black hair. Harry suddenly clutched his arm, his eyes wide with pain and fear. "No, my belly, it hurts like hell!", he screamed. Severus pulled the blanket away.
His breath stopped when he saw the blood and water soaking into the mattress. "Oh Merlin." he hissed, taking Harrys pale hand in his own. "It's okay Harry. The baby will be fine. It's the eight month, the baby had enough time, it'll be healthy and okay. Stay here, I'll call the house elf and get new towels and warm water. We will bring him safely to this world. Stay here!" he told Harry seriously, looking directly into the green eyes. "You and your baby will be okay!" he repeated wiping away the dark hair from the sweating forehead. "Okay." was the small answer he got.
Severus hurried out of the room.
It took him mere minutes until he had everything gathered and let the house elf know, which popped away to get some one else. Hopefully a trained healer and some potions. Eventhough Harry was nearly in his ninth month there could always be a huge risk, after all this trauma and shock he went through not nearly four hours ago.
Harry was clutching his sheets and moaning in pain. He was already in labour. Severus cursed under his breath and started to prepare the bed and Harry. It didn't take long for the elf popping back in with a healer, obvious in his green robes and the Dark Lord looming over both. Severus sucked in a harsh breath and hurried to hold Harry back down, hugging him close to shield him away from Voldemort and his violent red eyes.
Severus couldn't do much when the healer started her work. The woman's hands were sure and her voice calming, guiding Harry through every step while Severus soothed his pain away with pretty words. He held him close and was breathing with him until the woman could start the C-section. It was the only way to deliver the child because Harry's body wasn't ready yet, but the baby must be born now, or they would lose him.
Voldemort stood in the shadows, watching with calm red eyes, leaving the healer and Severus to the job.
Harry, calmed down with potions and Severus constant hug, gave birth to a healthy boy, 2700g and 43cm tall. Severus took the small baby with a flock of dark hair, who was crying and wailing and showed him to Harry, while the healer closed the wound.
The young man was weak but a happy smile graced his face when he could take his son. Severus wiped away Harrys tears and his own. "He is beautiful Severus, isn't he." the young father smiled and stroked the plump face of his child. Severus smiled hugging both close. But his attention was soon caught by the woman and Voldemort. The healers face showed concern and Voldemort looked thoughtful. When he shook his head and turned to leave, the woman moved back, her face pale and looking older than she was.
"What's wrong?" he rasped, his voice uncertain. The woman knelt down next to the bed and laid one hand onto Harry's now covered belly. Her hand was shaking. "He will die. I can't stop the blood flow. The... the rape left wounds which are to deep to treat and heal them now in his precautions state is...I can't...it's impossible! His body can't take it anymore. He'll be gone in a few hours." the woman told him in a hushed whisper.
Severus could only nod. The woman took his free hand and gave it a firm squeeze. "Take care of the child and yourself." she said and left them alone.
Severus took two deep breaths until he could face Harry again, but he shouldn't have been afraid, Harry already knew. He saw it in those emerald green eyes. Severus couldn't stop the tears.
He clutched the dying man close, as close as he was able and dared.
They were silent, both gazing onto the small babe in Harrys arms. He was sleeping, looking peaceful and happy to be with his father.
"Harry, you have a name for him, haven't you?" he whispered. "Salazar Sirius Potter." Harry repeated his choice once again, smile still in place. Severus chuckled weakly but in earnest. "With those names he'll be trouble, certainly." he predicted. Harry gave a small laugh and snuggled closer into Severus chest. "I hope so." he said and closed his eyes.
Severus knew that he was tired and ... dying.
"Harry, please don't go to sleep." he pleaded, trying to halt the tears. Harry smiled and turned his head towards Severus. "Only a bit. I'll be okay. Everything will be okay." he said and fell instantly asleep. Severus cried openly. He wouldn't believe it. After all those months, all those pain and fear Harry would die. Would leave him and his newborn child alone.
Would leave him to Voldemort and his insanity.
Severus hiccuped and wiped at his tears. Voldemort, the bastard. He would die, Severus would kill him, with or without a wand. He would be dead at the end of this day.
He had settled Harry back down onto the pillows, carefully arranging the blankets to keep him warm and hide the growing red spot on the mattress. Harry was still holding his newborn child to his chest, who was sleeping aswell. Harry was pale and Severus had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying again.
He had to be strong for the last time. Strong for Harry and Salazar.
Very strong when he felt the Dark Lords presence behind him.
Cold fingers closed around his shoulder.
"Severus, take the child." he was ordered. The potions master swallowed thickly but obeyed him. Carfully he cradled the babe to his chest, which was opening his large green eyes for a moment. Severus suppressed the violent sob that was tearing on his insides. He was led away from the bed, only a few steps, by the older man who took his place next to Harry.
"You did well Potter. He will be a wonderful hire to my coming empire. He will do great." he hissed and caressed Harry's pale and sweaty face. The Dark wizard took his wand from his robes. Severus couldn't say anything, couldn't move eventhough he wasn't under a spell. He could only watch, eyes wide, while he clutched the sleeping child to his hammering heart. "Goodbye my dear enemy." were Voldemorts calm words before he muttered the unforgivable curse.
Severus fell to his knees.
Voldemort fell too.
Severus tried to think but his head was buzzing, thoughts rushing and heart hammering.
Harry was dead, Voldemort was on the floor, had fainted. Why?
But he had no time to register what was happening when suddenly Death Eaters rushed into the room. He couldn't recognize their faces but some familiar hands helped him up and to a chair, while others looked after the still unconscious Lord.
"My Lord!" he heard a woman screeching, panic evident in her voice. He knew her but everything was a blur. Someone went down infront of him. Grey eyes searched for his and long and elegant fingers cradled his face. "Severus, Severus, listen to me, please!" he heard the distant whisper. But he couldn't react. Harry was dead... what should he do now?
A harsh pain in his face brought him back. Finally he could identify Lucius Malfoy kneeling infront of him, looking with long missed concern and panic at him. Behind them some other Death Eaters were circling the still fainted Dark Lord. He wasn't dead, Severus was sure about that but he couldn't think why the monster had fainted.
"Severus, listen!" Malfoy urged him to focus. Severus returned his attention back to the familiar face hovering in his sight.
The blond aristocrat looked old and tired. His eyes were deep grey and dark bags shown under them. He was grieving, the pain was obvious, clearly radiating from him in waves. "I'll help you. I'll help you to destroy him, tell me what to do, tell me, please Severus. I lost Draco... I lost Narcissa... I lost my family, please old friend! With you I'll be strong enough!" he whispered, his eyes glittered with unshod tears.
Severus looked down onto Harrys child and back into the grey ones which once held love and care. They once had been friends, close as siblings. Sometime before Voldemort and sometime after his first defeat they had been very close. But Lucius' hunger for power had been to strong and they became strangers. Severus serving two Masters as a spy, trying to stop Voldemort and Lucius supporting every evil plan with delight. Now they were close again. Both on the same page, both with the same rage and grieve.
"I need a wand. I will kill him!" he rasped. Lucius nodded and took a wand from his robes.
Severus knew whose it has once been when he took it. "He died as a hero, I'm proud of my son." Lucius told him, a lone tear falling from his eye. Snape nodded and gripped the other mans shoulder.
They were suddenly interrupted by a commotion behind them. With horror they saw Voldemort getting back to his feet, but the man was still some what disorientated and was led away by Bellatrix who was cackling her mad laugh. Only moments later they were alone with Harrys silent form on the bed.
Severus pushed his old friend gently away and got to his feet. After four swaying steps he was at Harry's side. "Harry." he whispered. But he couldn't hear him, he was dead.
"Harry, I'll kill him! He will finally die." he told the silent man and was about to leave the bed when a small hand held him back.
Green eyes that should have been closed for ever were gazing up at him. Lucius behind him sucked in a breath and Severus heart threatened to stop.
Harry was alive, but how?
The younger man smiled and answered him without the question asked out loud.
"Voldemort had seven horcruxes. He never knew I was his last and that he killed it with his spell. I didn't know it until it happened but now I know that he is as human as you and me!", he told the stunned men and sat up. He was weak but alive.
Severus couldn't stop the tears.
"Harry!" he shouted and gathered the thin man in his arms cradling him and the still sleeping child to his chest. Feeling his warmth and the steady heartbeat.
The other chuckled but pushed him away a bit. "Severus, I don't have long. I'll still die because of the blood loss, but before that I will kill Tom." he told him, his voice calm and resolute.
Severus stared at him in disbelieve. He shook his head no but Harry gathered his face in his small hands. "Take care of Sal, will you? You'll be his father! Go with Malfoy he'll get you out of here." Harry said and took the wand from Severus suddenly weak fingers. He brushed a small kiss on Severus forehead and caressed his childs face before he stood. His lips formed a silent apology and Severus heart ached with Harrys. "You should go now." he told them.
Severus stood, reaching with his free hand for the young man. "Harry, don't go. You don't have to. I can kill him for you and you will stay with your son!" he pleaded. Harry smiled, his face sad but determined. "No, I'm the only one who can kill him and you know that I wont life long. The healer was right, the bloodloss is severe. You can't do anything against it. But you can look after your child." Severus stared at him wild eyed.
"My child?" he inquired. Harry nodded and stepped closer. He took Severus hand and held it to his chest. "Yes, Salazar is our son. You became my family and he is ours, not in blood but in mind and heart. You'll be a great father. Thank you Severus." were his firm words that carried all his care and love. Severus nodded and let him go.
At the door Harry turned one last time, he smiled and Severus hadn't seen him that happy ever. "Be save and don't grieve, I'll always be there, with both of you." he smiled and wiped a stray tear away.
He directed his eyes once at Malfoy and both nodded. "Get them away from here, Mr. Malfoy, I'll avenge your son." he said. His last look and smile was for Severus and then he was gone.
Severus felt Lucius hands on his shoulders and closed his eyes. "Lets go my friend." and they were gone too.
-Nine months later-
Severus was pushing the cradle lightly while he hummed a tune he remembered his mother singing to him when he had been a child. Salazar yawned at him and closed his green eyes. Severus smiled and hummed along.
A small knock on the door stopped his humming and he looked from the sleeping childs face up to the door that opened after a while. Lucius Malfoy came inside and tip toed towards him. "Hermoine and Ronald are here, remember the dinner we wanted to have with them?" he grinned. Severus nodded and looked back down onto his son, his and Harry Potters wonderful son. He smiled and got up. "Ronald told me that the last known Death Eaters had been caught yesterday, they finally got Bellatrix." he told his friend while they left the brightly coloured nursery.
Severus nodded, his shoulders relaxing with relieve. Bella and some others had been the last ones, the last who had tried to gather others to fight for a dead Dark Lord.
Harry Potter succeeded that day, nine months ago. He killed Tom Marvolo Riddle and many other enemies but died shortly after still on the battlefield, that at one time had been his prison.
The house was destroyed by fire, that burned everything, even Harrys body.
The news of Riddles death had spread immediately and the Death Eaters were soon down and a new ministry elected.
Severus stayed with Lord Malfoy. It was hard for both of them to get their friendship back and trust each other. But they both were there to protect Harrys son, always.
After some weeks Severus contacted Hermoine Granger and Ronald Weasley, Harrys friends who were still alive and well and a huge help against the last Death Eaters. Both were sad because of their friend but happy to learn about Salazar. They came visiting often enough and after a while Severus enjoyed their company greatly.
He was happy to have some more pieces of his Harry by his side. He needed them to tell his son who his daddy had been. What he thought and did, what he dreamed about and who he cared for. He would tell him everything.
Everything about the loving man who gave birth to him and who fought for all their lives.
He would tell him about Harry, his Harry.
Severus smiled looking back to Salazar sleeping in his crib and closed the door to the nursery before he followed his old comrade to their new friends who were waiting downstairs.
End
Thanks for reading!