A/N: First Story, angst abound. Title came about from how 3 lefts would bring you back the way you came, so if you took 2 lefts followed by a right, you'll never return in the direction you came in. Story is told from Leaf's point-of-view, conflictingshipping, based on that one post that you (player) are an asshole and your Rival (Blue, in this fic) is misunderstood. Please note that I have taken a few liberties, as writers are wont to do, and one example would be the timeline. I understand that it has a 3 year-timeskip until the HGSS arc, and the one stuck on the mountain is Red, in this case, the age when they started their adventure would be at 10, and when Blue defeats the Champion, I'll say they're 12, she defeats him at 13. And with that, thank you for taking your time to read my work, and please leave a review if you find areas I can improve in.
Chapter 1
He had always caught my eye, since the first glance. We were children, playing family, or war or anything really. I noticed then, he was always the first one to catch my eye. But I was young, and we were the only two in our age group, so I let it be. Then we both got our Pokémon, and had our taste of the real world, and grew up. Then, he still caught my eye, but after everything I've done to him, who was I to love him? For a long stretch of time, his spirit was broken, and he cut me deeply with words of poison.
His grandfather asked the two of us later on to help him with his research. I was ecstatic, I loved the work, and so I did it alongside my obligatory duties as Champion. He worked for Prof. Oak as well, occasionally setting out, or staying in the laboratory. But still, being in close proximity with him set my heart racing like a Rapidash on the tracks. And yet, the poisons he had used on me, the chills off of him, they kept me away from him.
I had never wanted to see him hurt, had never meant to hurt him.
All I did was hurt him. He was always ahead of me, but I caught up. That's how we used to play, and he would always give me that look when I finally did. That looked that showed exasperation for my slowness, my clumsiness, and joy with relief that I had finally caught up. Then, the last time I had to catch up to him, and defeated him, the look he threw in my direction burned into my mind. A look of anger, hatred and deep sorrow.
I never want to hurt him again, so I stayed away. I'd rather suffer, never holding him again, never speaking to him or hearing from him, or telling about my deepest feelings, than to let him suffer for my existence.
Pikachu understands that, understands that he has inflicted pain on me, understood since we first met that this boy, now a man, had caught my eye, my heart and had no knowledge of it. His sister, Daisy, only knows how I hurt him, and the immense guilt at the pain I caused him and was always trying to separate him from me, for the two of us to lick our own wounds. Professor Oak knows of it, trying to get us to work over our differences, to become as close as we were before.
He has no idea that he caught my eye and holds my heart in his hands. No idea why every time he comes by, I pull my hat down, and walk away, unless it's work-related, the only reason I can safely talk to him now. It's been 5 years since I last talked to him about something not work-related, 5 years since I became Champion. Even then, he was cold towards me, his tone still as harsh as ever.
So, when did all this change? Just one day, a normal day when the two of us were in the laboratory. He walked to my desk, leaving some documents on it. And leaning over me from behind, making my heart race, and I felt a chill down my spine. I never did dare look at him, hoping for him to go away, so that I could be at ease, so my emotions won't cause havoc and chaos for a while more.
Then, he took a step back, and called my name. Not in the he has for years, so business-like, but the way he did, all those years ago, when we were still playing family in the sandbox. It was so achingly familiar. I turned away, pretending to look over another document before I responded.
"Look at me.", he said, so look I did. He stood before me, his hand grasping my chin so firmly. My heart raced so fast, all I could hear was its beat, while my eyes met his and I was lost in a world of things that might have been, a world of green. He was so close, so very close, and I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks.
This was the person whom I spent years of my life loving; he held my heart in his hands. And yet, as I felt his thumb brushing the side of my cheek, this insane urge bloomed in my heart, that begged him to lean down, and fulfill the dream that he loved me too, as I stared into a world of infinite green. That magnetic pull of his eyes, that which made me hold my gaze towards him through all this time, the green depths where that fire of his soul shone. That which makes me want him to hold me close, to be with him, though it is but a dream.
As I closed my eyes, a familiar twitch of my nose foretold the inevitable. I sneezed, barely managing to twist my head away from his grasp. Taking this chance, I admit, I became a coward and made some excuse about needing to go wash up and ran.
The sound of dripping water resounded in the empty bathroom as I stared hard into my reflection. 'You can't do this, Leaf. You might just end up hurting him again, and you never want to do that…' I muttered, reminding myself of the reason why I stopped approaching him in the first place.
"Leaf." He called my name as I was about to enter the hall of fame. And as I turned to face him, the ice in his eyes as he congratulated me froze me to my bones. The very air about him chilled me, and though he stood upright as he shook my hand, he looked as though my very presence was causing him ill. The frozen look in his eyes, that spoke of disappointment, that whispered of hatred, and how he seemed like he lost everything, all in a blink of an eye, hidden behind that cocky attitude years ago. And with that, he swept out of the Champion's chambers, and the poison laced in that handshake was seeped in to chill my veins and twisted my heart so painfully as his grandfather was muttering about his attitude.
When I saw him after that, his eyes, they looked dead, unfeeling and cold. Though they eventually returned to something like they were before, it was only a shadow. There was no point in trying to get him to love me, no point in hoping and praying for this love to come to fruition, since I know I hurt him, and couldn't help but wonder if throughout all our battles along our journeys, I was hurting him. And that there was no point in moving on, to let my feelings of him go, despite years and years of trying.
I love him, and always will love him. We were so much closer before everything, and yet now, the only reason why we are still somewhat in each other's lives is because we both work for Professor Oak. And it is also, perhaps, the ONLY reason why I can talk to him now.
With that motivational talk, I left the bathroom, to find that Blue had left the laboratory, and for that, I was grateful. Who knew what was going to happen if I didn't sneeze? Some part of me, the part that still held onto hope that this might actually end in something beautiful, dreamt of kisses, and words of acceptance, of romance, of gestures of love, warmth and comfort.
When I returned back to my seat, I could see his seat empty, his coat missing from the rack. 'It's for the better this way', I murmured to myself as I sat back in my chair.
