Hey, so, how's it going?
I've decided to start my five-part Quinntana romance that I was supposed to do a while ago because of the poll that I had up at one point and Quinntana one...Anyway this is that story...
...This has nothing to do with the episode "I Do" I actually started this before that episode aired, so nothing in that episode will be referenced or anything...hope you enjoy!
It started with a one night stand
That was all it was ever meant to be. They were both lonely and they felt unwanted so they leaned on each other. They used each other, both aware of the others intentions.
Quinn growled as she pushed the door to the room open, "stupid thing was jammed." She muttered as she stepped inside, she was followed by Santana who couldn't keep in her chuckle as she said, "you can't open a hotel room without a room key." She waved said key in her hand, "the door was locked."
The blonde huffed out a breath of air as she sat down, she so did not need Santana correcting her today, nor did she want it.
Santana hesitantly took a few steps closer as the door clicked shut behind her, but she was definitely on guard. They had been having a good time down at the bar, easily getting along because it came second nature to them, but this was different. When Quinn had said she didn't want to be around people anymore Santana had assumed their night was over but as the blonde headed toward the elevator she turned slightly toward Santana with a dark look in her eyes and asked her if she was coming. Santana followed, obviously, and now she felt like she was treading water.
Quinn was a mean drunk. And although the blonde hadn't actually shown any of the sure fire signs that she was indeed drunk Santana didn't want to risk it. Kick starting Quinn's drunken anger would cause her own weepy drunk behavior to begin and if Quinn stayed calm it lowered the chances of weepy Santana paying a visit to them, she did have to be triggered, you know. She didn't immediately break down and cry. There was always a reason.
Always.
The Latina watched Quinn stretch out, laying on her back, her cool hazel eyes wandering around the room before they landed on her, "you okay?" She asked. Santana nodded in answer, a wild nod actually that had Quinn crack a faint smile before the blonde patted the spot beside her and Santana joined her on the bed. She was sitting at first, her hands in her lap, moving mindlessly as her eyes traced the room, it was blue, like a midnight blue and since the sun was down and neither one of them had bothered to turn the lights on when they stepped inside the room was dark.
"I lie a lot." Quinn said causing Santana to chance a glance at her. She wasn't looking at the raven-haired girl, in fact she looked kind of spaced out, almost like Brittany looked when she had one of her random outburst moments (which was practically always). "People ask me if I'm okay and I always say 'yeah, I'm fine' or I get a question of how school's going and I tell them that it couldn't be better. That I couldn't love anything more than I love being at that school…It was my dream school after all." Santana heard the blonde sigh before her voice filled the air once more. "I hate it, San."
"What?" Santana was shocked, Quinn always seemed so happy when she talked about Yale, like she had said, it was her dream school, she was basically living her dream and she hated it?
"I feel like I don't belong." Quinn said quickly, "it was so easy at McKinley, I was in charge no one stepped to me, no one aside from you, I mean…but Yale is so big and I'm so not…and I have like three friends and one of them is a roommate…I have three of them by the way, roommate's I mean…I have three and I'm only friends with one."
Santana wasn't sure if Quinn was pausing of if she had actually expected her to say something back so she opted to stay quiet. She really had no idea what to say. For once when it came to Quinn she was at an actual loss for words.
"On Thanksgiving, I came down to tell you what was going on…to talk, but I got caught up in everything here, with Kitty acting the way she was I felt important again. So I said nothing really meaningful and instead decided to tell you about my professor, he isn't real by the way. I've never been with anyone aside from Puck."
"Were you scared?" Santana wondered. "Is that why you didn't say anything?"
Quinn sighed, "I don't know, I guess…maybe?"
That was enough to tell Santana that she was right. Quinn was scared. She always had been really. Quinn was afraid of feelings, that's why she hid them away all the time, much like Santana.
"I wanted to tell you about Brittany." Santana said after a moment.
Quinn was sharing, she might as well share, too.
"And why didn't you?"
"Same as you, I guess…I'm not happy that she chose Sam over me…and I feel betrayed that she didn't tell me about him in the first place. I know Sam's a good guy, he was good to you and he was good to me, but I don't feel as though he's good enough for her."
"Because you're the only one good enough for her?"
"No." Santana shook her head. She felt Quinn's hand find her own and there was a tug on it pulling her down to lay beside the blonde. "I'm not the only one good enough for her…hell, I don't even think I'm good enough for her I'm so-"
"Beautiful." Quinn murmured, causing Santana's breath to catch for a moment. "Santana you're beautiful, your heart, your soul…your mind."
What happened next was what shocked her, she had never expected Quinn Fabray would be leaning over her, pushing the hair from her face and kissing her softly. She stole the breath right out of her causing her to close her eyes in a gasp, "Quinn!" When Quinn pulled away after a moment Santana's eyes quickly reopened, searching Quinn's own.
"Was that okay?" Quinn asked, the concern in her voice was evident.
She didn't answer with words. Honestly she didn't think she could've brought herself out of the daze quick enough to say one. Quinn was biting her lip, obviously afraid of her answer and Santana didn't want that, she didn't want to scare the blonde away. So instead she lifted her left hand up and cupped her cheek, running her thumb along the girl's bottom lip before caressing her neck and gently pulling her down to meet her lips again.
Quinn was lonely, she had all but stated it a few minutes earlier, and she herself hadn't had sex since the breakup with Brittany and that was a few months ago. Santana knew that this thing going on between them was nothing more than a lonesome act, but she couldn't bring herself to pull away, because in all honesty it felt kind of right.
She felt Quinn's hand travel slowly down her side, landing ever so gently on her hip, her fingertips gently pushing into the fabric covering the Latina's body. Santana felt herself gasp again into Quinn's mouth, which the blonde was happy to swallow as she shifted herself above the girl a little better, to deepen the kiss before she ground her hips into Santana accepting the moan that slipped from the Latina with a small smile.
It started with a one night stand.
That was all it was ever meant to be. They were both lonely and they felt unwanted so they leaned on each other. They used each other, both aware of the others intentions.
But that wasn't how it happened. One time turned into three which turned into ten and before long they were spending every weekend they could together. Some weekends the blonde would show up at her door and others the Latina would go to her.
The second time it happened wasn't really a surprise.
Not really.
The surprise was that there was no alcohol involved.
Quinn had come into New York for Spring Break…at first it was filled with little looks to one another, but they never met eye to eye. But as soon as Rachel and Kurt had stepped out of the apartment Santana had Quinn pinned against the couch with her lips sucking on the skin of her neck.
Quinn's sultry voice whimpering her name stayed with her from that day forward. Every time the girls name appeared on her caller ID Santana's heart practically spun around as the voice from the past whispered into her ear. The blonde trembling beneath her, pleading for her to continue.
Their third time reminded her of the first. Not because they were depressed, or because they were drunk, but because they were in the middle of a hotel room. They were in New Haven and Quinn's roommate had been around so they couldn't do anything instead they drove to the nearest hotel and split the cost for the room. Stumbling with each other down the halls, high off of the presence of one another.
They stayed in bed for the next 24 hours, making complete use of the room they'd booked.
They never talked about it.
That was a rule Santana had learned of easily.
Their nights together always started with Quinn denying the fact that she was gay.
Santana would always reply with, 'I know," or sometimes she stuck with, 'I don't care.'
But really she did because she was falling.
It scared the hell out of her too, because she wasn't sure if Quinn was waiting to catch her or not. Sometimes it felt like she was. Kind of like she was waiting down below, arms wide and welcoming. But then as soon as that feeling crept its way into her mind it was brushed away just as quickly as the blonde silenced Santana's sentence before the girl had even opened her mouth.
"I could stay like this forever." Santana whispered one night…She couldn't really remember which number they were on because, honestly, she'd stopped counting long ago.
She felt Quinn sigh against her. The blonde was curled against her side, her blonde hair cascading around the head resting upon he chest. Santana's left hand was tracing a path up and down Quinn's arm.
Quinn was silent and for a moment Santana thought the girl might've fallen asleep.
A part of her had hoped it to be true.
It wasn't.
"Santana," Quinn looked at her, pulling away slightly so they could make eyed contact. "I'm not-"
"Gay," Santana finished, her wall finally shattering. "Yes. I know…I know you believe that and I'm fine with it, really I am….but is it really such a bad thing what I'm feeling? I mean come on, Quinn, what is this that we're doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean! God, I can't just hook up with you anymore, Q, it's messing with my head." Quinn was sitting up as Santana slipped out of the bed to pull on some clothing. "I…" She looked at the hazel eyed beauty in her bed. "I've done this before, okay. Britt and I used to hook up all the tie and then I pushed the developing feelings away and it drove me crazy, I lost sight of who I was and I became depressed…I don't want to go through that again…" She's not really sure when Quinn stepped out of the bed, but she had and now she was standing in front of the tan skinned girl, fully clothed looking at her with concern.
"Santana, I won't-"
"I can't." Santana interrupted shaking her head, "I can't do it anymore, Quinn. I don't want to do it anymore because I've fallen, Quinn. I'm falling and you haven't, you're not there."
"Santana," Quinn tried to cup her cheek, but Santana pushed her hand away.
"Don't touch me! Q, please?"
"I-"
"Can you just go?" Santana was staring at her, eyes shining as her tears slowly began to flood over.
"Go?" She sounded hurt, like she'd been rejected, because she had, and it killed Santana…but she just couldn't keep going on like this.
"Yes." Santana nodded, "yes…please, Quinn? Please?"
They had stopped talking after that…it'd lasted a while too. Santana had tried her best to ignore Quinn for as long as she could. She was hoping that if she ignored the blonde long enough the thoughts and feelings inside would eventually sweep away and she'd be able to rekindle her friendship with Quinn.
It became difficult as everything around her started to remind her of the blonde. She'd be listening to her ipod and a song from Vanity Theft would pop up and she'd feel sad, because Quinn was the one who had introduced her to that band…
…Or while resting on her couch she'd be flipping through channels on the television and she'd run across Grey's Anatomy and she'd find herself watching it just because it was one of Quinn's favorite shows. She couldn't even enjoy Pretty Little Liars anymore because it was a show that she used to sit and watch with Quinn all the time. Once they'd tried to get Brittany to watch it with them but had given up when the girl finally admitted that she didn't understand a single thing that was happening within the storyline and from then on Pretty Little Liars had been something that Quinn and Santana had watched together.
Quinn always smelled like vanilla and coffee, and during their time together the Latina had kind of become addicted to it so she ended up getting herself a job at a local coffee shop during the blonde's absence and it got so bad that her heart literally stopped every time she say a had of blonde hair.
She finally answered her phone after going a whole month without talking. It was 2:00 AM and the sound of her phone had woken her up.
"Hello?"
"Santana." It was a whisper, but the voice pierced though her ears like a knife.
"Q-Quinn?" Well, her plan had failed.
"I miss you." The blonde replied. "I miss the way you touch me, the way you kiss me-"
"Please?" She wasn't even sure what she was asking for anymore.
"I need you…I've tried with other people, San, I have, but it's not-"
"Quinn." She wasn't going to lie hearing Quinn say she'd been with other people; not just boys and not just girls, but other people…that hurt.
"I can't fall asleep." Quinn replied, "I can't and I'm not really sure if I want to…you're not here. And I just want you."
"Are you alone?" Santana whispered.
"Yeah."
"Are the lights off?" Her eyes drifted around the empty area to Rachel and Kurt's apartment that she called her own.
"Santana, what are you-"
"I'm there with you, Quinn." She whispered, "ju-just close your eyes and imagine me there…my lips against your jaw, your neck, your shoulder…my hands dancing upon your skin, not lingering in one place too long because I know how much you hate that." There was a small smile on her face as she closed her eyes, trying to picture the blonde on the other line. "I'm there to make you feel good, Quinn…lifting your shirt up, kissing your ribs-"
"Santana."
"Feel me map out your scars, you're so beautiful, Q…not broken…"
That was the first time they'd ever had phone sex. They were up for hours, it had felt amazing, just hearing Quinn's voice after a month had Santana's heart racing and breaking at the same time. They had been drawing their actions out, building up to the perfect moment. And when they had finally reached that high, they'd mumbled words back and forth until Quinn had fallen asleep on the other line, and it wasn't until Santana was absolutely certain that the girl in New Haven wouldn't hear that she muttered, "I love you, Quinn."
"I know that this was meant to be a one time thing and all." Quinn stated one night as she stood in front of the apartment building, Santana stopped. She was coming home from her job at the coffee shop down the street. She was shocked to see Quinn there, they had spoken earlier that week and decided they were both too busy to meet up this time around. "However, we continue doing…" she seemed to struggle with her words, her eyes slightly widening in a childlike way when she failed miserably at finding the word she wanted to use and stuck with, "it."
Santana watched her friend shake her head, "it keeps happening and every time seems sweeter than the last almost bittersweet really and I know this can't possibly be right, can it?…" Santana's brown eyes glided down Quinn's form, she was in dark skinny jeans and a Yale hoodie, one that Santana distinctly remembered trying to steal at one point because at least then when Quinn was gone she'd still have something around to remind her of the girl. Plus it smelled like her and Santana couldn't get enough of it, vanilla and coffee that's what she smelled like. Her eyes reached Quinn's face again, "but I can't stop thinking about it. About you."
"And what does that mean exactly?" Santana wondered taking one step closer.
"I want to be with you." Quinn whispered.
Those were the words Santana had been desperately wanting to hear ever since this thing between them had happened, but it also terrified her to no end. Could they actually do this?
Could she and Quinn actually be a couple?
Santana took another step closer, silently celebrating in her mind when Quinn didn't pull away. The Latina reached out, doing the only thing she knew to do. She took the blonde's hands in her own and smiled, "you are so beautiful." She shook her head at her own ridiculousness as a few tears fell from her eyes, "Quinn, I love you."
The blonde took no time in lunging forward and kissing Santana hard, causing the girl to back up a step, but she was sure not to let Quinn out of her grip. "I love you, so much." Santana repeated as the blonde pulled away.
"I love you, too." Quinn replied with a shy smile before pecking her lips quickly, "so can I stay or…?"
"Q, baby," Santana shook her head with a soft chuckle picking up the blonde's bag from it's spot on the ground, "I never want you to go."
Those were the words that had made it official.
All of those moments, all of those times had led them to this.
Quinn and Santana had officially been together for three months, they'd had their ups and they'd had their downs, but no matter what they had each fought for their relationship to survive. And right now they were currently sitting in the living room of Kurt, Rachel and Santana's loft watching RENT because Rachel had won the coin toss (yes, coin toss) and she got to pick the movie.
Santana was latched at one end of the couch with Quinn curled into her side. Beside her girlfriend was Rachel who insisted on singing every song word for word and if anyone interrupted her she'd rewind the movie and start the song over. And Kurt was on the other end of the couch, tearing up at each and every sad or beautiful moment in the movie, weaving in and out from singing along with his favorite songs.
It was near the end of the movie when she noticed it.
Rachel's hand was on Quinn's thigh.
Every once in a while it seemed to inch up the leg a little higher causing Santana's eyes to dart between Quinn, Rachel and the movie.
It was probably nothing.
Her hand probably wasn't even moving.
Rachel wouldn't do that to her…
Quinn couldn't do that to her…she wouldn't.
But now that she though about it, Quinn and Rachel had been growing closer. Every time Quinn came to visit her girlfriend she'd always be sure to set aside a whole day to spend with Rachel, excluding Santana from all of their activities…and sometimes when Santana went to visit Quinn, Rachel would tag along to say hello.
"Oh, I just love this movie!" Rachel said as the credits began to roll. "It always makes me want to love somebody."
Quinn looked at her, "yeah, that's not weird?"
"Well, if you think about it, it actually isn't." Rachel answered simply. "The movie's practically all about love…oh, my God!" Her eyes widened in realization as she jumped up, "Quinn, I totally forgot I wanted to show you something, come on, come on!" She reached for the blonde's hands and pulled her from the couch.
"What are you-" Quinn didn't get to finish though because Rachel had cut her off rambling on about something she just knew the blonde would enjoy as they walked into Rachel's room, the door closing behind them.
And, "hell no!" Santana whispered her eyes widening.
She ignored Kurt's questioning glance because she had bigger things to worry about at the moment.
Rachel Berry was trying to steal her girlfriend!
Okay, so there we have part one...
...Please let me know what you think, I'd really love to her your thoughts, good/bad/otherwise...
...Thanks so much for reading, it's much appreciated!