Authors' Note: Well, technically this isn't a story, more of an…. "advice column" featuring Gaara and Sasuke! My sister and I are writing this for something to entertain ourselves with as the skool year closes. By the way: This has nothing to do with any previous stories!

Here we go then…

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Day one of…captivity. There's no other way to describe this. My head hurts like hell and I'm chained to this damn chair in front of this damn computer along with the irritatingly quiet redhead next to me. Oh no, he's looking at me again…I know he's always wanted another chance to try and kill me. This will be interesting. Maybe if he does come after me the two girls who kidnapped us will come in and unchain us and I could try to escape again. Could be worth a try…

You're wondering how I got into this mess in the first place, right? Personally I think it's some evil ploy my "fanclub" devised. But that's not the point. Point is, if you're reading this...

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"Sasuke! You and Gaara working on those questions I gave you? I brought you some Pocky sticks! You seem like a chocolate person, so I got the chocolate kind…"

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Right. The questions. Part of the ploy. Half these people want to pry into my personal life… "What's you favorite yoga position?" What the hell? What gives people the idea that I do yoga? And the other half want me to do their homework. I have about 3 seconds before she comes in the room and finds out I haven't been working on the questions, and I hate those damn Pocky sticks!

Although she did threaten to kill my pet snake and burn down my house if I don't start typing some half-assed answers to these… Wait, I don't have a pet snake…

"I don't hear typing!!"

Answer questions. Why again? And why here next to… Uchiha. Ugh. Looks like he's actually answering one…

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Heeyyy… do either of you two know where Sri Lanka is? I have an essay due in like, five minutes so can you answer fast?!

bAnAnAnAnAS­443

What? Sri Lanka, Sri Lanka… well it sounds familiar. "Hey. Wasn't this question just on that… Ellen show?"

"What, did they chain you to the tv too? Or do you actually watch that show?"

"…"

It's between Poland and Antarctica. It became a country in 1785 after the Peloponesian Wars.

Sasuke

There's no way that's right. I always knew he had no brain, now everyone else will know too. That's a highlight!

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Gaara,

Do you like being the youngest? And what's your favorite kind of pie?

This Pocky tastes like cardboard, I could go for some pie right now.

Are these questions supposed to be related? It's a trick question, isn't it? Better not answer too in-depth.

Youngest? Hah, I'm an only child. I don't eat pie. Kankuro does. Who by the way… is not related to me in anyway. Other than by blood.

Gaara

"Where's my Pocky?" How'd Sasuke get Pocky all of a sudden?! "Favoritism."

"I'm everybody's favorite. You're not. So you don't get any." This is gross. "You're not an only child, freak."

"As far as you know. Hn. Another question… for me."

"."

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OMG Gaara I luv you! I wanna marry you! And live in your sand castle! And have your kids! Why do you wear so much clothing? That's okay I'll help you take 'em off.

GaaraLvr1000

I like clothes. No you can't take them off. Stalker.

Gaara

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Hey Sasuke! A couple questions: 1.) What's the first thing you notice about a girl? 2.) Would you notice me? Pleeeaaase?

My fanclub is stalking me again…Don't they have anything better to do? Damn…I ate all the cardboard.

1.) First thing I notice…that they can't shut up. And that's damn annoying.

2.) I don't even know you.

Sasuke

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Gaara: These questions suck.

HasekuraJiyou: . you try making some up then! Besides, who asked you? You're just here to answer them… smirk

Gaara: O.O?

Sasuke: Can I go now? I finished the Pocky…

HasekuraAkemi: No, now you have to answer other people's questions! I'll get more Pocky…

Sasuke: Damn. More cardboard.

Okay please send in your questions! There aren't any real rules, so you can ask any type of question. Warning: For homework questions, we can't guarantee they'll be correct.

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Disclaimer: We don't own these characters…

Gaara: So you can't hold me here!

… We just "borrowed" them for this "story." XD