A/N: Hey, I'm back with another story! This is just a two-shot, I don't think my stories have the ability to become like a 6 chapter story. Anyway, Thank you to everyone who has reviewed my stories, because all of you are amazing. I love you all. I'm still in the process of writing chapter two of 'Fly Away Home' if you're wondering.
It's a cold night, and the pale blue light, descending from the moon, is not making it seem any more welcoming. It's dark everywhere, the moonlight not reaching around many corners. Ally's living room is dark too, the only exception being the corner where she sits, huddled under a small lamp with her nose buried in a book. It is a Nicholas Sparks book, and she has read it plenty of times before, but some times, during nights like this one, she really just wants to read it again.
She can't really concentrate, though, and every time she turns the page, an annoyed sigh slips past her lips. She is distracted, even after going in to the kitchen to fetch herself a cup of coffee, and she can't figure out why that is. She should be doing an music assignment for college, and she tried doing it, but nothing turned out the way it was supposed to, and she figured that it would be better to stop working instead of wasting paper on something she couldn't use. She had dug out the book to make herself relax, but it isn't doing its job well at all. If she had been tired, she would have solved it by going to bed, but she wasn't, so she just had to do something.
The doorbell rings, startling Ally in her dark corner, but she puts the book aside and jumps up. She leaves her empty coffee mug on a counter in the kitchen on her way to the door, and before she has reached and opened it, the doorbell rings again.
When she opens it, she is surprised to see her younger brother's best friend, Austin, standing there, but she steps aside to let him in nonetheless. "Hi," she says hesitantly as Austin's toes his shoes off and hangs his coat and scarf on a tiny hook in the wall.
"Hi," Austin mumbles back, standing there awkwardly. "I'm sorry about just showing up like this. I hope I didn't interrupt you doing anything important." The sixteen year old glances around the hallway, eyes sneaking quick looks at the paintings hanging there, some made by Dez, some by Ally.
"No, it's fine. I couldn't concentrate anyway," Ally says before gesturing to Austin to follow her as she walks back in to the living room. Austin follows her further into the home, and they both sit down on the couch in the center of the room, after Ally has turned on another light. "So, why are you here?" Ally asks curiously, leaning back against the fluffy cushions. Austin and her aren't exactly friends, but as he is Dez's best friend, and Ally and Dez are as close as siblings can get, they had hung out a few times and Austin has been to her place in Tampa, with Dez, once or twice before.
"I just felt like visiting you, that's all," Austin says quietly without looking at Ally, and the girl senses that there is something that Austin isn't telling her. "Uhm, can I have something to drink? Water would be fine, just..." His words trail off, and Ally can make out a faint blush on his cheeks.
"Yeah, of course. I feel stupid; I should have asked. I made coffee earlier, there should be enough for both of us. You drink coffee, right?" Austin nods a yes, and Ally gets up from the couch, only to return two minutes later with two large, colorful mugs. "I hope it's still warm enough. If not, we could try putting them in the microwave, but I've found that it always makes it too hot," Ally says, looking at Austin who takes a careful sip, before taking a mouthful herself. It's not as hot as she's used to, but it's not lukewarm either.
"It's fine," Austin replies in the quiet voice he always uses around Ally, but according to Dez, he never talks like that otherwise. Just with Ally. She always thought it was weird, and told Dez so when he pointed it out, but the brother said it was because Austin had a crush on her, something which was apparently blatantly obvious. Ally doesn't see it though, she never has, and she thinks it would be weird if younger guy liked her. Ally doesn't think she's the kind of person that anybody would have a crush on. She isn't that fun, and her ex boyfriends have grown tired of her really quickly.
"So..." Ally starts, but as she doesn't really know what to say to Austin, they are launched into a slightly awkward silence. It's been a rather long time since they last hung out, and Ally can't, for the love of god, remember what Dez actually said the last time he updated her on stuff. She had probably been half asleep during the process, and Dez who was on the phone was too into his babbling to notice Ally's lack of response. "How are things? Like, school and stuff?"
"Same as always, I guess," Austin shrugs. He seems tense, not relaxing and not even leaning back against the couch. "I haven't been there much lately, obviously, but Dez says that the teachers are still bitches and the homework is far too time-consuming," he says almost sadly, as if he wishes he could be there instead of enjoying being home, for whatever reason that was.
"Yeah, that's the usual," Ally laughs, too loudly, or so it seems compared to Austin's quiet words. "How come you have been home? Don't you have exams and stuff around this time of the year?" She lowers her voice again, trying to blend in with the dark silence of the rest of the world and her living room.
"I've been in the hospital a lot. If I so much as sneeze, they need to get me in there and run all kinds of tests to make sure I'm alright." Austin gives a halfhearted smile to no one, trying to seem as if he's amused by the situation, but he fails. He's gripping his coffee mug tightly in his hands, taking small sips occasionally, and looking down. At what, Ally can't distinguish.
"Why is that; that you have been in the hospital so much, I mean?" Ally asks curiously, and Austin's head snaps up, giving her a look that says something along the lines of 'You don't know? I thought Dez said he had told you!'
"I have a heart defect, and if too much strain is put on my heart, I can die. I'm having surgery tomorrow, though." He tries to smile again, looking up at Ally this time, but the smile still doesn't reach his eyes. "It's going to be so awesome when this whole thing is over. I might be able to actually live again and go through high school like a normal person."
"It sounds like that would be a very risky procedure though; heart surgery, I mean. Were you born with the defect? I thought you usually did this kind of thing on babies..." Ally says thoughtfully, and Austin nods.
"I was born with it, but they didn't discover it until I was seven, and by that point they didn't want to do the surgery. Instead they wanted to wait until it was really necessary, and it has been necessary for six months now." Austin's voice is just a quiet whisper now, and he diverts his gaze again, looking around at everything in the room. What captures Austin's eyes are the paintings which, just like the ones in the hallway, are made mostly by Ally.
There is a painting, a really beautiful one, which causes Austin to stand up from the couch and put down his coffee mug on the coffee table, before walking over to it. It is very dark, even as a small light lights it up, but it is because of the colors. The colors used are dull and almost seem gray, but it seems fitting for the painting. Austin thinks it's supposed to be an apple, with a small chunk gone as if someone took a bite. The apple is shaped like a heart.
"I have a hole in my heart," Austin whispers sadly, reaching out a finger to trace the outline of the bite mark on the apple-heart.
Ally hasn't moved from her spot on the couch, but watches Austin with concerned eyes as she drinks the last of her coffee. Austin turns back around to face Ally as she puts her coffee mug down next to Austin's on the coffee table.
"What are the odds? Y'know, chances for survival?" Ally asks quietly, and Austin moves on to look at another painting, although none were as beautiful as the apple one. He doesn't want to answer Ally, because he doesn't like the answer he has to give her. He doesn't want to make it real, and by admitting it by himself, not having doctors or his parents or even Dez repeating it, he would make it real. "Austin?"
"Fifty/fifty," he whispers, closing his eyes and lowering his head as if he was staring at the dark brown floorboards. "Because I'm so old, and the hole has gotten bigger over the years, I have less of a chance to survive." His voice cracks slightly towards the end of the sentence, and Ally thinks that Austin might cry, but she's wrong. Austin doesn't cry anymore.
"Austin," Ally breathes shakily, wondering to herself how Austin copes with it, knowing that he's dying, that he might be dead by this time tomorrow. "Austin," Ally says again, "why are you here? You should be with your parents, and friends and... Why are you here?"
"Sometimes it feels like they are all thinking that I'm already gone. I wanted to get away from that. Talk to someone who didn't know." Austin turns to one of the old, worn out bookcases that are filled to the brim with magazines, books and movies. He looks through the movie shelf as it's in level with his face, and realizes that he hasn't heard of half of these films.
"But you didn't know that I didn't know until just twenty minutes ago, Austin. Not that I don't love to see you, but why are you really here?" Ally stands up and steps over to where Austin is skimming through the movies, squinting slightly to make out the titles in the dark.
"I just wanted to see you, that's all," Austin says and looks up to meet Ally's dark eyes. "I've been trying to get my parents to take me to Tampa for weeks, and Dez said he asked you to come home to Miami, but we had no success, so I took the train." He's turned back to the movies, pulling a DVD out to read on the back of it. "My parents think I'm at Dez's... and he thinks I'm at home," Austin finishes, and Ally can't help but think that the kid is crazy.
"You went all the way here on your own without even telling anybody? You're crazy! What if something had happened?" Ally exclaims, and Austin sighs heavily, walking around Ally and goes back to sit on the couch. "You could have died out there and no one would have known where you were!"
"Well, if I had known that you wouldn't want me here I wouldn't have bothered," Austin huffs, pulling his feet up on the couch and his knees to his face, curling into a ball.
"Austin, you know that's not true. I do want you here, but I'm worried about you, just like your parents and Dez. Do you think it's fair on either of them to act like this?" Ally tries to reason, dragging a hand through her light brown hair as she sits down next to Austin. "If you wanted to see me so badly and your parents wouldn't take you, why didn't you get Dez to come too?"
"Because I wanted to do something on my own for once. I'm sick of being babied all the time, never being allowed to do stuff without an adult present." Ally can't help but think that it is reasonable, but she still thinks Austin is stupid not to tell anybody. "If I'm going to die tomorrow, I wanted to have been out in the real world, lived a real life, even if only for a short while." For a moment it is hard to tell that Ally is four years older than Austin, and that it isn't the other way around. Austin sounds so much more experienced, even if it is his inexperience that makes it that way.
"What does it feel like?" Ally asks seriously, looking directly at Austin who's staring into the empty air in front of his face. "Knowing that you might... What's it like?" Austin doesn't reply for a good twenty minutes, leaving them in a dark silence. It isn't awkward, and it isn't comfortable either; it just is. Austin just doesn't know how to phrase what he's feeling to make Ally understand, and Ally doesn't know what more to say. She wants to know the answer to the question, and she knows that Austin wants to tell someone.
"It's scary," Austin says when he finally speaks. It's simple, and it's easy to understand, but Austin wants to tell Ally more, to get him to know how Austin is feeling. "I'm just sixteen. There is so much I haven't done yet, so much I should have done in the previous years but not been allowed to do. I haven't lived before, and I might not get the chance to live in the future either." He pauses, turning his head to look at Ally. "I know that my parents just want to protect me, but the thing is, I don't have a past, I might not have a future, so the only thing I have is right now. And I don't know what to do with it."
Ally looks at him, observingly, and she feels flattered that Austin is there with her, knowing that Austin really cherishes his last time before the surgery. She wishes she could make some of Austin's wishes come true, make him not regret not having done so many things. There's not much you can do at 10:30 on a Wednesday night, though, even in Tampa City. Not being sixteen.
She puts an arm around Austin's shoulders, squeezing them a little, and he feels Austin lean in to the small embrace before letting go. "I'm sorry. No one should have to go through this. Especially not so young," she sighs, wishing she had known earlier, that Dez had been more persistent when telling her and that she had actually listened to her brother like she usually did. She spaced out once, and that one time had to be when her brother was sharing something huge.
"Yeah, thanks," Austin exhales heavily, and he looks much older than sixteen. He shuffles forward on the couch so his butt is just on the edge of it and he can lean back and rest his head on top of the backrest, directing his face to gaze up at the white ceiling.
"Since you came here on your own, and I am not putting you on a train back to Miami alone, you can stay here," Ally says, getting up from the couch, and Austin gives her a grateful smile. "But you are calling your parents and telling them where you are," Ally gives him a stern look, and Austin looks like a small child who just got told he couldn't have any dessert unless he ate all of his brussel sprouts first.
"But they are just going to yell and then insist to come straight here and take me back home," Austin replies sadly, his voice dropping low as it laces with bitterness.
"Then hand the phone to me and I'll convince them that you're better off staying here, getting some rest, instead of traveling back to Miami again," Austin just sighs again, not looking at Ally and not answering her. "Either you call them, or I will, Austin. I really think it would be better if you called them, otherwise it might be harder to convince them to let you stay." Ally keeps her stern gaze locked on Austin, and as Austin finally looks up at her, she wins.
"Fine, I'll call them. But if they insist on coming here, I'm locking myself in the bathroom," Austin insists, and Ally smiles.
"Deal."
Twenty minutes later, Ally hangs up the phone after coaxing Mr. and Mrs. Moon into letting Austin stay in Tampa with him. They had screamed a fair bit, saying how stupid and irresponsible Austin had been to just take off without telling anybody, and then they asked if Dez and Ally had helped set it up, only believing Ally when she told them that Austin had just showed up outside her door.
Austin is sitting on the living room couch as Ally comes back out of the kitchen after talking to Austin's parents, and he lets out a relieved sigh as Ally says they're okay with it. Not fine, not happy, but okay, and at least glad to know where Austin is and that it's with someone they at least know the parents of, even if Ally hasn't lived with her parents since she went to college.
"Thanks," Austin says with a small smile, showing a glimpse of white teeth. After having been really tense during the phonecall, he allows himself to relax into the couch again, leaning back and breathing easily as he stares into space. "You have no idea how much this means to me, just being away from everything, even for a short while. I can almost pretend it's all just a bad dream."
"You're welcome," Ally smiles back at Austin. "Uhm, I only have one bed here, but you can have mine and I'll take the couch... You'd better go to bed soon, rest up for the surgery, y'know?" Ally says, feeling slightly awkward all of a sudden.
"Thanks, but I'm not tired. I don't want to go to bed yet. It would be a waste of time." Austin's face holds a sincere look, and not bothering with any protests, Ally slumps down beside him on the couch.
"I suppose we'll be staying up then. Anything in particular you want to do?" Ally asks, turning her head to see Austin more clearly. "We could watch a movie or something. Did you find anything interesting before?" Ally says, remembering that Austin had gone through her movie collection earlier. Austin nods, stands up and walks over to the bookcase, bringing back three of the movies he hasn't seen before, and Ally decides that they'll watch her favorite of them.
The last scene of the movie is playing on Ally's medium sized TV, and both people are feeling tired as it is so late, and they haven't spoken at all throughout the movie. They're sitting very close, though. Some time around the middle of the movie, Ally had leaned her body against Austin's side, resting her head on Austin's shoulders and, to make it more comfortable for both of them, Austin had lifted his arm and placed it around Ally.
Ally almost thinks Austin is asleep as she watches the movie through half-lidded eyes. The hero is currently making out with the heroine, who had started out like a typical 'damsel in distress' and then turned out to be some kind of macho chick. It's lame, but what can you do? Movie directors and producers do whatever they can to surprise the watchers nowadays. It's rather sad actually, Ally thinks.
But then Ally moves a little, shifting her body against Austin's, and as he speaks, they are both fully awake. "I've never kissed anybody." There's a sadness, a mourning, in Austin's voice, and it is painful to hear. His voice is thick and a little hoarse, and Ally would say that it's clogged up with tears, but he doesn't think that Austin is the kind of person to cry, no matter what.
She wonders what she should say, what kind of reply is suitable for this situation. She feels sorry for the boy that is way too young to die, but she doesn't think that sorry is a strong enough word. It's overused and abused by so many people, and is rarely used the right way, the way Ally wants to use it. But as she doesn't come up with anything better to say, she uses that popular little word anyway, and squeezes Austin's hand that was resting on her lap slightly, just for emphasis. "I'm sorry, Austin. I wish you didn't have to go through this, not alone."
Austin is alone, Ally knows that. He has the support of many people that love him, but no one can understand, no one can really be by his side as he goes through this. They are all just watching from the spectator seats, far away from where the action is. Austin feels like a hurt animal in a cage. Everybody on the outside is protecting him and trying to make him better, but he doesn't feel well being a captive, and no one seems to see that. He wants to go back into the wild, live his last days like he's supposed to, but no one has given him the chance because they don't understand. Austin is sure that Ally does, though.
"What's it like? Kissing?" Austin asks quietly, staring at the screen of the television as the credits roll and some bad 'dramatic' music plays. Austin really wants to know what it is like to kiss somebody. Ever since his condition had started to get worse, he had been wondering to himself if he would ever get to experience it before he died.
"It's hard to explain. It depends a lot on who you're kissing, and how you're kissing. What you want to say with it. In general, it feels very nice, though," Ally says thoughtfully, feeling a bit disappointed with herself because she can't explain it better, but Austin nods, understanding. "I'm sorry I can't give you any more details. I guess I just never thought about it myself, not since I had my first kiss and could stop wondering, anyway."
They sit together in a semi-awkward silence for a few minutes before Ally gets up and goes to the kitchen to make more coffee. Ally feels relieved as she enters the kitchen; it's as if the air is easier to breathe out there. It's not thick and awkward, unlike in the living room. She finds it difficult to be around Austin, she doesn't know how to act or talk, and she's afraid of making something worse.
When she gets back to Austin, it seems like the air has cleared up at least a little, though. Austin gives her a small appreciative smile as he takes the large mug full to the brim with the steaming hot, black liquid, before taking a sip that slightly burns his tongue. They sit in the same kind of silence as they had before, both pretending to concentrate on the coffee in their hands, but really just trying to figure out what to say or talk about, until Austin finally speaks up. Ally wishes the silence had been maintained, though.
"Ally, I was... I was kinda thinking, that..." Austin pauses, staring intently into his cup and the dark brown liquid in it. His hands are gripping the porcelain tightly, and his knuckles seem to be going white. He's blushing, Ally notes as she looks over at the sixteen year old, but he doesn't speak. "I was wondering..." Austin swallows deeply, "I was wondering if you could, maybe, kiss me?" Austin's normally cream white face has taken to a furious red color, and he's biting his lip harshly, squeezing his eyes shut.
Ally doesn't reply immediately, too stunned to react properly. She isn't exactly surprised by the question, she should have seen it coming after the subject of kissing was brought up earlier, but she can't see herself kissing Austin, or how Austin can want to waste his first kiss on her. She understands where Austin is coming from with how he wants to know what it feels like, but why couldn't he have gone to find someone who meant something to him instead? Why come to Ally, his best friend's older sister?
"Austin..." Ally finally says, but she is still not sure how to continue. Austin's face is still red with embarrassment, but it looks more sad as Ally continues speaking. "I can't do that, Austin. I'm sorry, but it wouldn't be right." She pauses again, and holding the coffee mug in one hand, she places the free one on Austin's shoulder. "You shouldn't be throwing away your first kiss just because of... this. Your first kiss should be special. It should be kissing someone you really like, just because you really want to." He squeezes Austin's shoulder gently. "You're still just sixteen, you have time."
Austin lifts his head up, staring straight into Ally's eyes with wide, dark eyes that are glossy with tears. "Not if I die tomorrow." Ally withdraws her hand, and takes a sip of his coffee that isn't that hot anymore, and Austin looks away again. "I just wanna know what it feels like..." Austin whispers, and Ally watches as a lonely tear slides down his cheek. It's a tragic sight, and Ally thinks that if it wasn't real, it would make a beautiful painting.
Ally puts her half-full mug on the coffee table, before gently prying Austin's half-empty one out of his hands and setting it next to it. She holds Austin's hands with her left one, and lifts the right one to his face, cupping Austin's cheek and rubbing away the tear with her thumb. Their eyes meet, and Ally sees how pretty Austin's eyes are, or have potential to be. They are still glazed over with tears, and red and swollen from being tired and very sad, but they are wide, and golden brown, and the pupils are dilated and pitch black. "Are you sure, Austin?" The young boy nods quickly, but still maintains eye contact with Ally. "You're not going to die tomorrow, Austin. You have to believe that."
"Ally..." Austin breathes pleadingly, nuzzling his face slightly closer to Ally's warm hand. But Ally moves it, catching a stray strand of Austin's hair, and tucks it behind his ear. She keeps her hand there, pondering over what to do, but only one more second of looking into Austin's begging eyes is enough to make her give in. Tilting her head to the left, she leans in and places her coffee flavored mouth over Austin's.
She lets her eyes fall shut as Austin's does and moves her lips slowly against Austin's, applying extra pressure where it's needed. Austin's lips are soft and warm; inexperienced, of course, and they just follow Ally's as she guides them. Ally pushes her hand into Austin's soft hair, cupping the back of his head. Austin's small and innocent, but itching curious hands twitch slightly, and soon one is carefully linked with the fingers of Ally's hand, and the other moves to Ally's side. It hangs there quite innocently, just cupping Ally's lower ribcage through the clothing.
Ally has no intentions of taking the kiss further, or even deepening it, but as Austin parts his lips just enough to let Ally's tongue slip in, and tugs gently on her shirt, she accepts the invitation. Austin flinches slightly at the first tongue-on-tongue contact, but he calms down and lets Ally lead him in a slow, wet dance.
The meeting of lips and tongues seems to last forever, and Austin wishes that it really will. If they both wanted it to, he thinks they could make it last forever, because the kiss is so slow and gentle that they can breathe easily through their noses and won't ever have to come up for air. The feeling of having something so warm and soft and wet as a mouth, moving with his own mouth, is something completely new, something he has only dreamed of before, and as Ally said earlier, it feels very nice.
But then Ally pulls away, and Austin is left feeling cold and vulnerable, his red lips glistening with shared saliva, just like Ally's pink ones. Ally pulls her hand back from Austin's golden hair, but slides it against Austin's cheek as she does so, giving him a warm smile. A light pink blush creeps upon Austin's cheeks, and he looks down as he withdraws his hand from Ally's body. Ally isn't letting go of the other one. "Thanks," Austin whispers quietly, his freshly kissed lips breaking into a small smile.
"You're welcome," Ally replies, returning the smile, and brushing Austin's hair out of his face again. But then that hand is gone, and their fingers are unlinked, and Ally is just leaning back against the couch, eyes closed, and lips forming a sleepy smile. "So, how was it? Did it feel like you expected it to?" Ally doesn't open her eyes, but her lips have formed a small grin, showing off her small, pearly white teeth.
Austin thinks for a while, watching Ally; Ally lips, to be more specific. "It was better, I guess. I don't know if I was expecting anything, though." He tries to relax against the couch as well, and he tries not to think too much on how he wants to kiss Ally again. He wishes he could at least kiss her until he was at the hospital and was getting prepared for the surgery.
Ally looks really tired, and even though Austin knows it's really late, or early, depending on how you want to see it, he doesn't feel sleepy. He shifts on the couch, shuffling a little closer to Ally, and Ally leans in to him just like she had when they watched the movie. Austin puts a strong arm around Ally's skinny shoulders, and Austin feels safe. Protected in a way his parents would never manage. Because Ally tries to understand.
"Do you really think I'll make it tomorrow?" Austin asks in the small voice Ally has grown accustomed to in the hours Austin has been in Ally's house. He doesn't understand how Austin could ever be loud, like Dez had suggested that he was all the time, because the small voice Austin has when he's with Ally just suits him. He's small, skinny and scared like a lost animal, not knowing if he's going to make it to see the flowers in bloom in the spring. He doesn't know if the rain that is now falling outside Ally's windows, just like the weather girl on channel four had announced, is going to kill him.
"It's raining," he adds with a small smile when he notices the rain drops falling against the glass. Ally opens her eyes and looks towards the windows and the falling rain drops for a minute, before turning her face down towards Austin. The boy's eyes are widened in fascination, and the pupils are dilated to try and suck in what little light there is in the room, trying to catch as many details of the rain outside in the dark, as possible. "I always loved watching the rain fall," he whispers quietly.
"It's beautiful." Ally leans her cheek against the top of Austin's head. The snow reminds her of Austin, how they are both so fragile, and how nobody knows whether they will still be here after tomorrow. "You're stronger than you think, Austin. Stronger than anybody gives you credit for. You'll make it." Ally presses her lips against Austin's hair, Austin nuzzles his nose against the light brown locks and smells the sweet scent of shampoo and conditioner.
"How can you be so sure? You don't know me that well." Ally sighs, and Austin pauses shortly, breathing deeply. "What if I'm not strong enough?" Ally doesn't reply, or show any kind of reaction to the question, because she doesn't know how. She wants so badly to make Austin believe in himself, in his own strength and will to survive, but when the sixteen year old won't do anything but point out all the risks and what ifs, she doesn't know what to do.
"We should go to bed. It's," Ally yawns and pauses, seeking out the bright yellow numbers on the DVD player. "It's almost two in the morning. You need to sleep before your surgery tomorrow." Ally withdraws her arm and stands up, stretching out her tired limbs that want nothing more than to sleep.
Austin feels cold and alone again, now that Ally is no longer there to protect her from the cold, seeping in through tiny cracks by the windows that are still getting attacked by tiny, innocent water droplets.
"You can have the bathroom first. I'll go and find something for you to sleep in." Ally feels strangely awkward, scratching the back of her neck before walking off to her bedroom. Austin follows seconds later, going to the bathroom which is located just next to it.
All of Ally's clothes are much too small to fit Austin, but Ally leaves a blue t-shirt and a pair of grey pyjama bottoms that Dez left at her house a while back out on the bed, before collecting her own sleeping clothes and going out to the living room to change. She doesn't expect Austin to come back out there, and she doesn't notice when the boy sneaks through the room to reach the kitchen and have a glass of water. But Austin sees Ally, and he notices her naked torso which is as white as Ally's face and hands. He sees the small shoulders he had felt earlier, and he wishes to feel them again.
When he returns from the kitchen, Ally has gone into the bathroom, so Austin just continues to the bedroom. He isn't tired, and he doesn't feel like trying to get any sleep, so he just sits on the edge of the bed, staring at the tiny gap underneath the door, where yellow light seeps in to the otherwise dark room. He sees the shadow of Ally walk by, and then the light disappears when Ally flicks it off out in the hallway. The darkness isn't soothing, and it doesn't make Austin tired at all. Not changing into the clothes Ally laid out for him, he pulls back the cover and lies down on the bed, staring up at the dark ceiling.
He can hear faint soft snores coming from the living room, even as they are muffled by the distance and the door. He imagines Ally's face, sleeping. He thinks it's relaxed, mouth hanging open as she breathes through it, and there might be some dark strands of hair sticking to her pale face. He thinks about the kiss, how good it had felt to have a pair of lips, Ally's lips, pressing against his own as a gentle hand laced in his hair. How odd it had felt to have another tongue in his mouth, and how he had wanted it to just keep going. He wonders if it always felt that amazing, or if Ally is just an exceptionally good kisser.
He knows that he should feel happy and content about that day, and be able to sleep easily because of that. He should be pleased with the fact that he had experienced one of the things he had thought he would never get. He had reached one of his goals, and if something went terribly wrong during the surgery, he at least wouldn't die as inexperienced as he had thought he would. But now, when he was just lying in the dark because he couldn't sleep, he suddenly feels like the kiss he had shared with Ally wasn't enough. It had felt completely extraordinary, but now he wanted to experience more.
He might die tomorrow. There are still so many things he has never felt and might miss out on if he doesn't wake up from the anesthesia.
A/N: Well, that's chapter one! I'm in the middle of finishing chapter two, I just need to edit it about 2 times and i'll upload it in the next few days. Thanks for reading, i appreciate it so much! Leave a review if you liked it.
P.S. if your wondering Austin is sixteen and Ally is twenty.