The idea wouldn't leave me alone- the plot bunnies threatened to shove it down my throat if I didn't! So have mercy!

-SHQ

PIZZA BOY

"I didn't order pizza."

Rei squirmed uncomfortably. Sharp blue eyes peered from a mass of stunning red hair, darting over his countenance in a deeply unsettling way. The black pants and blue polo of his Pizza Shack uniform suddenly felt too skimpy- which was just messed up, as far as he was concerned. Seriously.

After weeks of trolling through newspaper wanted ads, it had come down to either

A) Work for Pizza Shack

or

B) Work at that gay bar downtown.

Now here he was after taking choice A) and he still got leered at? No fair! At least choice B) had had the possibility of free drinks! Wait… He didn't drink.

Lose-lose situation. Fancy that.

Rei tried to distract himself from all of this, even after the three seconds it took for him to realize it wasn't going to work. Because really, that was such a fascinating crack in the brick over to the side a bit, and- and why oh why hadn't he just gone ahead and ordered a uniform a few sizes larger than he needed like he did for all his other clothes? Why?! Oh yeah, company policy.

Suck.

He fumed inwardly at how the Pizza Shack policy makers were a bunch of perverted bastards.

Bolting back to his car was starting to sound like a good idea. Had been for a while actually, roughly around the time Mr. Convivial here opened the door. It'd be so easy- he was a fast runner. Who really needed dignity anyways? It was, like, so twentieth century. Besides, this was his last delivery of the evening. All he really wanted was to go home. Maybe make some hot tea, soak up a long bath- something relaxing, anything but this.

Rei continued to avert his eyes, wanting to be anywhere other than this particular front door. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, thoughtfully glancing around. Not to say it wasn't a nice house. It was actually pretty huge, with lots of brick, large glass windows, and curling green shrubbery visible even in the scarce porch light.

It was too nice. Like those big, nice houses in movies where a bunch of nice young people get together in nice clothes in the nice house before one of them goes crazy and kills the rest of them- wait, what was he thinking? Paranoia certainly wasn't on his To-Do list when he got up this morning…

He took a breath and fidgeted, causing his long coil of raven hair to sway and bump against his left leg. The red head continued to scrutinize him intensely, causing the Chinese male to harbor a sudden wave of sympathy for all those poor, peace loving animals in the world ever ambushed by predators who watched unblinking from the shadows. This guy had been standing there, Rei thought, for about two minutes already, and he'd blinked once. Once! Once.

"I'm sorry, sir, are you sure? It's just, I'm pretty sure this is the right address…"

"Like I said."

Rei swallowed. Was it so much to ask for the last delivery to go right? Was it?

Apparently, yes. Yes it was.

"What's going on, Tala?"

They both turned their attention to a tall, muscular newcomer walking up from somewhere behind the poor delivery boy's antagonist. His voice was deep, a mystifying contrast to light green eyes and light purple-grey hair. A small (yet somehow immensely malevolent) crease between his eyebrows conveyed that he was annoyed, and if the world didn't adjust itself within thirty seconds to fix this, there would be hell to pay. At least, that's what Rei got out of it. And he considered himself pretty good at this type of thing.

He frowned upon noticing who was at the door. Rei was (discreetly) horrified. A small voice at the back of his thoughts (which were currently concerning themselves with who might show up at his funeral if they could find the body) reminded him that Choice B) had offered security guards that protected all the staff… Hindsight was so much clearer, wasn't it? The redhead -Tala- on the other hand, was evidently ecstatic. In his own, special, disturbing, oh-God-the-nightmares kind of way.

His answer was prompt and purring, and did nothing to put Rei at ease in any way, shape, or form. Indeed, rather the opposite.

"No need to play dumb, Bry."

He turned back to drag icy blue eyes up and down Rei's form, smirking with self satisfaction. Rei stared confusedly at the pair, wishing desperately he wasn't glued to the spot so he could make a run for it like he should have in the first place. Max and Tyson were forever going on about how good his judgment was, but obviously Fate hadn't gotten the memo. Stupid, stupid, PMSing Fate! Or maybe it was his fault. Was it because he hadn't stopped by the local shrine this week? Was that it? Rei mentally swore he'd donate at least a fifty when he got out of here, and meditate more often, and help old ladies across the street more if only he could just get out of here-

"It's obvious. You finally came through and ordered us a stripper!"

The Bryan (yes, The Bryan) stood stock still, as if he had just been slapped in the face by a fish wielding rockstar. (That's quite a unique reaction, there simply is no mistaking it. Of course, you wouldn't know, that, now would you?)

Slowly, and with much deliberation, he moved past Tala and towards Rei. Just under the roaring voice in his head bellowing at him to flee, and flee now, Rei noticed that his figure was not only large and threatening, but also inappropriately dramatic in the scarce lighting of the porch bulb. Like one of those old, black and white mafia-gangster flicks…only not nearly as corny and five hundred times scarier.

His eyes locked with Rei's- harsh and unforgiving. Brutal.

His impossibly low voice lowered, seeping out from tight lips in a bloodcurdling deviation of a growl. Rei backed up involuntarily (not remembering the stairs behind him), hands trembling, knuckles slowly becoming paler and paler from clutching the pizza box so tightly. He realized faintly that his (non-regulation) red headband was damp with sweat, and that his heart was pumping much too quickly. The small part of him not busy being terrified was worried that it might give out. It was interrupted, however, when The Bryan uttered a sentence more venomous than any other the young man had ever heard before.

"Are you a stripper?"

Apparently he backed up too much, because the next thing he knew his feet were flying out from under him, and he was no longer looking at any terrifying people- Only a dark, dark night sky, and then darkness alone.

-

"This feels illegal."

"Shut up, Ian! No one asked you."

"I can't believe you thought he was a stripper! Is it too much to ask to be able to order some pizza in my own house?"

"How was I supposed to know?"

Rei moaned and shifted, trying to return to his peaceful state of unconsciousness. Warmth surrounded him, numbing his thoughts until they were little more than soft buzzing in his head. It was so nice… but something was ruining it. Noises- Voices. The irritating kind associated with people talking during good movies. Stupid, stupid voices! So annoying! Didn't they know he was trying to sleep? So inconsiderate, some people could be.

"What was that?"

"Don't be so loud. You probably woke him up."

"Me? You were the one yelling."

"Kai, go check on him. You are the one that ordered pizza without even telling us."

He almost drifted back to sleep, but there was this niggling feeling at the back of his head that maybe something wasn't quite right. Like barbecue sauce on corn, or… or something like that. Logic and reason was for people who were not trying to sleep. He wanted to ignore it, but it just would not quit. Rei growled lowly in frustration and gave up on sleeping, slowly returning to a state similar to being awake.

Without opening his eyes, he sat up and stretched – slowly, in an unmistakably feline manner. About three seconds into it he noticed his skull was throbbing. With a hiss, he cracked an eye open and brought a hand to rub tenderly at his abused cranium. Jeez, it stung! Maybe he had a hangover? No, that couldn't be it. He didn't remember drinking, and he almost never drank in the first place. So confusing! He was too tired and in too much pain to be thinking so hard anyway.

At least he was on his nice, soft bed- warm and comfortable and safe.

Surrounded by silk covers that he would never ever ever ever be able to afford.

Waaaaiiiiit a second!

If this wasn't his house, then he hadn't gone home- and if he hadn't gone home, he was either at the last house he delivered to or being kidnapped! Maybe both!

Rei fell off the bed with a soft thunk and was shoving open the window with all intent to climb out when the light was flicked on. With a ghastly, sinking feeling he realized someone was standing in the doorway… probably had been for a while.

Probably since before he woke up.

Double suck.

The window still looked pretty tempting, and it was already partially opened. But he didn't know who was behind him, or what they intended to do if he continued his attempted escape. Rei swallowed the urge to dash through anyway. Okay. He could do this. He was a Kon, by god! He'd show them! He'd show them all!

This particular bout of self righteous anger chose not to express itself just then, however. Instead, it cleverly behind a rather shaky undertone of dread. Perhaps… Yes, yes… I believe it decided it needed to calm down before it did anything irrational.

"U-uh… Please don't hurt me?"

(See? Told you so.)

"If you don't sue."

He assumed (hoped-prayed-desperately-wished) that that was supposed to be a joke. Of some sort. Perhaps the evil sort, but still... It sounded like the voice that had been arguing about being able to order pizza in his own house- it didn't sound like Tala or The Bryan. With this as encouragement, Rei took his chances and slowly shifted his feet on the hardwood floor that was-not-his and lifted his eyes to observe the stranger behind him. He observed and observed. And observed a little bit more after that- then he kept on observing.

"How do you feel?"

Uncomfortably warm, Rei thought. Why were his eyes red? Was that natural? And his hair, it was a darkish slate in the front and a deep blue in the back- what was up with that? Rei had to admit it suited him perfectly, though. His countenance burned itself into Rei's mind- soon he was practically overflowing with thoughts questions about the young man before him. Lost in these musings Rei didn't noticed that he'd apparently decided he'd observe him for just a bit longer…

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I asked how are you were feeling."

"Uh… You're the one who ordered the pizza, right?"

"…Yes. Would you like to sit down?"

"I don't think I have a concussion, if that's what you're thinking. I don't feel sick. I just- Well, where am I again?"

"Sit down."

Rei closed his eyes and rubbed them for a few seconds, trying to get his thoughts in order. He didn't really have a concussion, did he? That would really, like…Suck. Like, really. An irrational, yet persistent fear of being sick in front of him pestered Rei, insisting that it would be humiliating beyond what he could ever hope to handle. But- Wait… Didn't this count as humiliating? Maybe? Just a little? The Chinese male mentally wrestled with this while the apparent Orderer of the Pizza stood before him, watching intently. Abruptly, he lifted his head and made eye contact.

"I'm Rei, by the way. What's your name?"

"…Kai."

"Hello Kai- It's nice to meet you. I'm not a stripper…just so you know."

"Nice to meet you, too. I'm not going to kill or kidnap you. I won't even let the idiots outside try anything…just so you know."

Rei's face brightened into a warm red as he chuckled. Kai smirked in front of him. It was an expression that stuck him as more than a bit peculiar- not in a bad way, just different. Interesting. His lips lifted in such a particular manner as to make him look twice, and then not want to look away- his eyes narrowed slightly in a captivating conveyance of amusement. The blush didn't go away, but Rei couldn't bring himself to care.

A few minutes, threats, growls, screams, and doorslams later, Rei was back in his car- Kai was leaning against the smooth painted metal of the door in such a way that if Rei didn't know better, he would never have guessed the turmoil he'd just gone through just to order some pizza.

" Sorry about what happened. They can be really stupid, but they're not…completely…evil. Here." The slate haired male shoved something into Rei's hand and straightened up, tuning to leave. "I'll see you later, Rei."

As he disappeared beyond the shadow heavy bend of the driveway, Rei took a deep breath. It was about 3:30 in the morning. Things didn't, he thought to himself, go exactly according to plan, now did they? He'd just become the star of his own personal cheesy horror flick, minus the sloppy open mouthed kiss at the ending. At least he'd met Kai…

…As if someone who lived in such a nice house would even want to associate with a pizza boy. The thought made him bite his lip so hard that his fangs made impressions on the skin. A bad habit, he knew. Still, though… He sighed, opening the hand Kai had pushed something into. He didn't feel like driving right now. Tonight had been…interesting. Not that he fancied facing The Bryan again. No, no thanks. But he had to admit, it was a lot less boring than what he'd been planning to do that night. In his hand was a folded up fifty dollar bill- Rei had to consciously stop himself from drooling. Underneath the spectacular slip of currency was a slip of paper with a phone number on it, and a name:

Kai Hiwatari

"Hiwatari Kai-san…"

Rei licked his lips- the name tasted good in his mouth.

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