Brr, sure is cold today. I put on my, well Michael's, oversized red jacket and walked out my room grabbing my skateboard that lay by my bedside.
"Going out?" a voice called from the living room couch.
"Oh hey Jonas. Yea, just gunna go ride around town. I'll be back by dinner."
He got up and walked me to the door. "If you want I could go with-"
"No it's okay, just need some alone time to clear some thoughts."
"Alright, well take care sis, if you need me to come pick you up just give me a call."
"Will do." I gave him a quick hug before leaving.
Jonas was my sweet, protective step-brother. Even though we've been living together for only a year, we've gotten pretty close. I think he secretly wanted to have a younger sibling in his life. He's always trying to keep me from doing stupid things like ditching a test to go to a concert using a stolen car (again). I think he doesn't want me to end up in juvie like he did, and I'm thankful for that. It's just, sometimes his protective nature reminds me of Michael.
I lower my board onto the pavement and hopped on, kicked the floor and decide to ride to no place in particular.
The board was kinda banged up, I've been practicing how to ride and do various tricks with it all year long. It's been sitting behind a couple history books for a while now and looked rather lonely.
Michael gave it to me the year he drowned…I regret not learning how to ride it beforehand so I could show him a few tricks.
"Hey sis, whatcha doing?" Mike was leaning against the door with his arms crossed, staring at my computer screen.
"Mike, I have GOT to get a friggin skateboard."
"What? You watch a couple vids of some guys riding that thing and decide you want to learn to ride one?"
"Well it's been at the back of my mind for some time, at least I could get some 'exercise' you so annoyingly remind me about. I'd be cool and I'd go shred-"
"A few pounds?" he suggests.
"Oh flip off." I turn my attention back to screen and continue watching more videos of people riding skateboards.
"Hey click that one 'Top 10 skateboard fails' you need to check out the world of pain you may be plunging yourself into."
I roll my eyes but decide to watch it anyway just to cringe at it with him.
I rode and rode until I came to stop at the pier. How long have I been riding for, seems like the sun is about to set soon.
The sky was still blue but the sun turned a softer orange as it began to descend behind the clouds.
I pull my jacket tighter around me. "Michael…" I close my eyes and remember his face, his smile as he ruffles my hair. How he chuckles at my sarcastic remarks.
"The water is fine Alex, come on in." He said, splashing around.
"You're too far out, I thought you were supposed to be teaching me how to swim not goof around."
He was swimming further and further away ducking into the water and popping up several times.
"Mike, come on!"
He laughed and started swimming back towards me. "Alright princess, don't worry I'm coming."
Then suddenly, everything went horribly wrong. He was flailing in the water, trying his hardest to keep his chin above water. "AL-", his head dipped under.
"MIKE!" I cried, edging closer to the lake. I immediately scan my surroundings looking for anything, absolutely anything I could toss to help him. "MIKE! Hang on!" I desperately run around searching for something I could use.
Then, the thrashing sound behind me stops. I turned in horror to see his head no longer above water. The once vicious bubbles disappeared to nothing.
"Mike? Michael? MICHAEL!"
"Bzzz-whieew-schhhh"
What was that noise? My eyes sprung open. I stuff my hands into the pockets and pulled out an old radio.
Ren once told that it was an important item for our trip to Edwards Island when Jonas and I first met. It was weird though, I heard myself on the line telling me not to go there, not to go into the cave. I never understood what that meant but we never got the chance to find out.
A mysterious warning from me, telling myself not to go there when I had no recollection of ever even saying those words, was more than enough to freak all of us out. We agreed to never go anywhere near the island.
I didn't exactly know why but the radio always made me think of Michael. Somehow it felt like if I could just tune in to the right frequency I could hear him, or see him, or, I don't know. It just felt like I would have the opportunity of Michael returning to life, does that sound crazy? It sounds crazy.
I stared at the setting sun and over to the ferry that travels to Edwards Island. "I miss you Michael. I know if you were here you'd tell me to move on. That we all need to learn to let go." I was now looking at the radio in my hands. "Somehow this radio feels like it could promise me your return. It's stupid I know, but I can't help but feel like if I just hoped onto that ferry and listened to this radio I could somehow see you again..." I say, my voice dropping near the end.
My feet began to walk towards the ticket office, I felt myself ready to drop everything behind and go off to Edwards Island. The radio in my hands hummed as if urging me to follow through with my spontaneous idea.
Then, I felt a substantial increase of warmth in the jacket as if he was telling me that he was here with me, that I didn't need to see him again, that I'd be okay without him. I snap out of my trance and embrace the warmth.
The static emitting from the radio grew rather frantic but I finally decided to turn it off. I remember what I told myself, "Alex, this is… you, okay? Just… don't go into the cave. Whatever you do. Don't go into the cave." That really deterred me from even stepping foot on the island itself.
I turn on my heels and began walking away from the ticketing office. "Thanks Mike." I plopped down my board and took one more glance of the setting sun behind me, soaking in its warmth.
The long ride and ocean air did me a world of good. I filled my lungs with a deep breath before kicking harder towards the house. The lamppost lit the pavement and I began to slow down to a stop a hundred meters away from the house.
Sitting on the porch and leaning back against the front door, staring at his phone was my brother, Jonas.
Thanks Mike for your time, for everything you did for me. I'm okay now, Jonas is here with me. It was no longer about me trying to understand the reason for his death. Why he had to be taken from this world. I finally understood that people are only here for a certain amount of time, it's all real Michael is gone and so is Jonas's mom.
It's scary. I never even got the opportunity to say goodbye but through it I learned that his existence was beautiful, his time spent here was more than I could have ever asked for, I never really understood why he had to leave but learning why would not bring him back. I was stupid, doing idiotic things as I grieved for him.
As I walk up to the front door Jonas turns his gaze to me. "Good ride?"
I turn towards the trash can pulling out the radio from my pocket, staring at it for a while. I felt a warm sensation around my hand, encouraging me to let go. Smiling, I dropped it into the bin and return back up the steps and to my brother. "Yea, good ride."
