This is my first ever fanfic so please bear with me. Also English is not my first language. I always felt like the show did not really go into the aftermath of 3b with stiles and none of the other fics that I found really showed what I was thought might have actually happened. So I decided to write one myself. Also I am obsessed with Stiles and love reading hurt Stiles so this story is going to have a lot of that. The story takes off right after 3b ends. Please rate and review.
Disclaimer: I don't own teen wolf or any of the characters in it. I am just a fangirl who reads a lot of fanfics and writing my first ever fic. Fingers crossed atleast someone out there likes it.
So here goes…
Disconnected. Numb. That was how Stiles felt. Scott's driving and Lydia has his right hand clutched tightly in both her hands. Her eyes are red and bloodshot and she is staring off into space. He feels cold except for the warmth in his right hand. He rests his forehead against the window and watches as the trees pass by in a blur. There's no traffic and it's so quiet except for the thrum of the jeep and the nocturnal beings of the preserve.
They reach his house but he doesn't notice. He is lost in his head but he's not really thinking. He can't process all that happened just yet. It's too early. Too fresh. It's too much. He feels that if he thinks about it he would…he's just not ready. Not yet.
Scott gets out of the jeep and opens the door for him. He pulls his hand from Lydia and stumbles out. As soon as he is upright he feels the world spin. He is so dizzy and loses his balance and almost has an epic faceplant but Scott catches him and pulls him upright.
He is leaning almost fully on Scott for support. The next second he feels bile rise in his throat. He tries to swat away the hands holding him and throws up. He keeps dry heaving. There was nothing coming out but he feels his body trying to rid itself of all of his internal organs. His eyes were watering and he was trembling. Everything was blurry and he felt lightheaded. He felt weak and boneless. Like his insides turned into jelly.
He was not aware of his father arriving and helping him sit down on the pavement and rubbing circles trying to soothe him. He can hear someone calling out his name."…iles! Stiles". But he can't get himself to look up. He was just staring at the cement on the pavement but not really focussing.
He felt awful, like something was not right with him. He was fairly certain the nogitsune was gone. But it still didn't feel like he was himself. He slowly realized someone was trying to get his attention. "Stiles you are going to be fine. You're alright. It's gonna be fine.". But he didn't believe any of that. He felt like he was never going to be ok. There would always be something wrong. That he would never truly be himself again. Ever.
"Scott go get some water" says the Sheriff. He tries to comfort Stiles and Lydia has her hand on his shoulder. It's reassuring. It makes him feel connected to the real world and not lost in the dark corners of his mind.
Stiles is shivering. He feels so cold and Lydia points this out to the Sheriff who grows even more concerned now.
Scott's back with a water bottle. He takes it and rinses out his mouth. The water feels so great. He realizes that he is parched. He doesn't remember the last time he ate. He had kept refusing anything that they had tried to feed him. Mellissa had insisted that he eat something but he felt that if he ate anything at all he wouldn't be able to keep it down for even a few minutes. They all tried to get him to eat or drink something but he refused. Melissa then threatened him that she would use a feeding tube if he didn't have something. She gave him some oral rehydration salts since he was dehydrated. So he gulped down half of the glass of trioral until he felt like everything was gonna come back up if he had any more. But Melissa seemed to be satisfied. The chamomile tea that offered him did not seem that appetizing.
So yeah he basically didn't have any food for atleast 3 days as far as he could infer. So he greedily drank the water but the water didn't stay down. It came back up his throat as fast as he had gulped it down. He was coughing and hacking. This was bad. He remembered watching a movie or documentary of some people who got stuck in a volcano just as it started becoming active and all the people had left and no one was there out help them out. They had somehow escaped after a really long time and tried to drink the water but just couldn't keep it down since they didn't have anything to eat or drink for a few days. So he understood that this was really bad.
Lydia asks "Isn't it bad when they can't even keep the water down?". The Sheriff had experience with such situations and he knew. "Yeah." he said. "Scott call your mother, ask her if she can get an IV drip set up for Stiles."
Stiles is so scared. He feels queasy and he's even considering to give the IV a chance even though he is terrified of needles. He just doesn't feel right. He is exhausted and he wants to just curl up into a ball right there on the pavement and go to sleep. But he is scared of falling asleep. What if the nogitsune returns in his dreams. He is not ready to face his demon yet. But his body needs rest and he can feel his eyes drooping but tries his best to keep them open.
Scott tells the Sheriff "Mom says he is probably dehydrated and must be really hungry. He didn't eat anything while he was at my house. She told she would bring the IV and said we need to try and get some fluid foods in him. She said to try some soup."
"Ok. Let's get him inside". They both support Stiles as his stumbles his way into the house and help him to the couch.
Lydia helps the Sheriff make some chicken soup. Scott's trying to warm him up by running his hands along Stiles's arms and Stiles feels his insides getting warmer. He is most probably using his wolfy healing abilities since Stiles can feel the ache in his ones reduce or maybe he is just imagining it. He is not sure as he has his eyes closed with his head thrown back over the couch back.
They are back with the soup and he looks at it warily. He doesn't feel like eating anything but forces himself to eat a few spoons until he can't eat anymore and pushes away the bowl. It's not even 10 minutes and he is scrambling to get to the bathroom and is throwing up the little soup he has managed to eat. He is so frustrated and starts crying. He can hear his stomach protesting but he is not gonna be able to keep anything inside.
"Is he gonna be ok?" he can hear Lydia ask. Two pairs of arms are trying to comfort him from where he is sat on the floor after his second vomiting session.
"He is upset right now. He will be alright, he needs a little more time" says his Dad. It sounds like he is trying to reassure himself rather than the others. His Dad sounds so scared and tired and that makes Stiles feel worse.
Mellissa arrives from the hospital. She looks pretty shaken up herself. She and Scott share a hug and then she is setting up the IV for Stiles.
"It's going to pinch a little but the IV will help rehydrate and you will feel much better after you've had it." Stiles doesn't respond but watches the needle as Melissa inserts it into his vein. After the bottle's empty and he is free of the needle, Melissa gives him some Tylenol which he somehow manages to swallow.
"He's running a slight fever. Give him some more Tylenol if it doesn't reduce in the next 2 hours. Raf is waiting for me at home and he is demanding an explanation for all the things that have happened these past few days so I need to go now. Call me if you need anything" she informs his Dad and then leaves.
He feels hot and uncomfortable. He doesn't talk and is staring at everyone but nothing is processing in his head. He is restless and jittery. His body seems icky and he desperately needs to have a bath but he's sure he does not have the energy or coordination to do that.
Scott looks so afraid. Together, he and his Dad help him to the guest bedroom. He assumes that that is because he's got all the research stuff up on his wall, not to mention the scissors that he had stabbed the mattress with to show all the clues point to him. They help him lie down and his dad places a bedsheet on the lower half of his body.
His dad makes Scott and Lydia leave to get some rest and they slowly and reluctantly leave. His dad checks his temperature and frowns looking at the reading. His temperature is too high. He goes down to get some water ad a washcloth and by the time he returns Stiles is almost asleep.
He jumps up when he feels his dad place the cool washcloth on his forehead. It feels too much like those scratchy bandages that the nogitsune had him in. But he remembers that the nogitsune is gone. This is his Dad and he is safe now. The sheriff pulls up a chair next to his bed and keeps refreshing the washcloth. "Go to sleep Stiles". Stiles sighs and slowly falls asleep.
He dreams of 'go' and sitting on the nemeton trunk and the nogitsune screaming in his face. His mind replays all the people he had killed and the pain that he took. He dreams of stabbing himself instead of his divine move. He wakes up screaming and crashes the glass bowl for the washcloth that his dad had kept on the nightstand. His dad who is sleeping on the chair he had pulled up to the bed startles awake and holds him like all those times he did the last month when he woke up screaming from those night terrors.
"It's a nightmare Stiles! WAKE UP!". He's awake now and his eyes are darting all around the room.
"Stiles?"
"Dad, I don't feel so good"
He feels something choking him and not letting him get any air in. He pushes his dad away and scrambles toward the bathroom but stumbles and falls hallway. Stiles has his hands on the floor with his knees folded under him. He can feel something inside him trying to get out.
"AAuughhh…auugh" he groans.
He's trembling and heaving mess, his body trying to get out every last bit of that thing out. He's struggling and clutching his chest tightly crushing the tshirt. His hair is stuck to his sweaty forehead He is almost hyperventilating and the sheriff is scared for his son.
His dad tries to sooth him but he starts crying so hard. Heat is radiating from his skin that the sheriff can feel it even before making contact.
"Oh Stiles! You're buring up. Ok buddy, you have to calm down. I'm here for you Stiles." He tries to get him to breathe in and out but it seems like he is not getting through.
He tries to throw up but nothing is there in his stomach to come out. After a lot of coughing and hacking he throws up some black goopy stuff.
"Hey you with me buddy? Stiles?"
Stile's eyes are unfocussed and watering. He is shivering very badly. His face is blotched up with tears and he's stilling struggling to get in the much needed oxygen. Then his eyes roll back and he passes out. He had wet his pants.
His dad tries his best to try and wake him up but to no avail. Noah fishes out his phone from his pants pocket and dials. Melissa picks up on the third ring.
"Noah? What happened?"
"It's Stiles he passed out. He's burning up. Like he feels really hot and he vomited some black goey stuff and he's not responding. I don't know what to do"
"Okay just stay with him and get him to wake up. Try sprinkling some water in his face. I'll be there in 10"
Noah tries to wake him up by throwing some water in his face. When that doesn't work he slaps him. "Wake up! WAKE UP STILES!". It works after a few tries.
Stiles keeps calling out for his mom. "Dad, I want mom. I miss her so much"
This catches Noah by surprise. Stiles had never tried to talk about how he felt about his mother. It was like he had tried to forget about her after she had died. He cried a lot and has nightmares and sleepwalked a lot for a few months after her death but he had refused to talk about it. He suppressed all those feeling and didn't fully process and accept Claudia's death.
He starts crying so hard he's hiccupping. Noah feels so helpless and doesn't know what to do.
"I know. I miss her too"
He then sings Stile's bedtime song that he and Claudia used to sing to him when he was little. It seems to calm him a little and he not weeping anymore but is still having hiccups.
"I wish mom was here"
"Yeah. She would have handled this a lot better than I am. But I promise Stiles, I will do anything and everything that I can to help you and keep you safe"
Scott gets into the house from Stile's bedroom window. He is shocked to see Stiles in such bad shape. He smells all kinds of intense emotion from the chemosignals. He goes down and opens the door for his mom.
Melissa takes Stiles' blood pressure and check his eyes response. Scott examines he black goop. It smells foul and not right.
He calls Deaton and tells about it. He tells him that no one had ever survived a nogitsune possession but he would try to find out and he'll call him back as soon as he finds anything.
It's like 5 in the morning now.
Stiles still seems to be out of it. They get Stiles into bed and he feels so light and bony like he hasn't been eating properly for weeks.
His mother gives him another IV. She tells the sheriff that Stile's blood pressure is too low and that they need to get some sugar into him so Noah sets out to make some hot chocolate.
Stiles falls asleep and they try to wake him up with some smelling salts when he doesn't wake up when they try to shake him and call his name. He refuses to drink the hot chocolate but when Melissa tells him that he needs to drink up in her nurse voice he obliges.
His hand is still shivering and he can't hold the milk mug without spilling its contents. So his dad helps him to drink up.
Scott feels terrible looking at Stiles in that condition. He looks so weak and his eyes are so bloodshot and sleep-deprived. His eyes have sunken into their sockets. He had never been this bad ever before even when he has the flu.
He tries to drain the pain and it seems unending but Stiles is staring into the wall and not answering his mom's questions. It's like he has retreated into himself and put up a shield so no one could try and hurt him again. What had the nogitsune done to his best friend? He tries to take the pain until he can't bear to take any more.
Deaton calls and informs him that none of his contacts knew anything helpful. He felt that when the nogitsune had split the two of them, Stiles had gotten a new body and his mind was not accepting the new body. His mind and body had to reach an understanding and catch up with each other. And the black thing he vomited was probably what was connecting the nogitsune and Stiles and was now expelled since the nogitsune had lost control over Stiles. They just had to help him recuperate at his own pace. Scott stays at their house while Noah gets some rest. His mom had to go to the hospital as they had to deal with a massive carnage.
It's evening now. Stiles had slept most of the day. And he told his dad he didn't want to see anyone when his friends came over. He had pulled all the curtains close so his room was as dark as his mind felt to be. His fever has gone down and he feels frustrated with everything. He is constantly plagued with memories of the past few weeks. All his stupid ADHD mind did was rewind the terrible things he had done, all the people he had killed. Allison. Aiden. It's all trying to catch up to his mind but he is not ready for it damn it!In a rage, he pulls out the IV they gave him for the evening and rushes into the bathroom slamming the door close. He feels so achy and icky. His legs are quaking beneath him and his head is spinning.
He body is then wracking with heart clenching sobs. He is in so much pain that he screams in agony. He was in a constant pain but tried to block it for so long until he couldn't anymore and screamed his throat raw. He can hear banging on the bathroom door and asking him to open it.
"Close the door. I can't let them in. Don't let them in" he kept repeating to himself. He then did the mistake of looking at himself in the mirror and jumped back in fright. He was covered in blood. This cannot be true. "No. nononono NO!" He punches the mirror and keeps punching it until it's all cracked and on the floor. He falls down, curls into a ball with his back to the toilet seat covering his eyes and sobbing.
Scott breaks the door and gets in with the sheriff right behind. Scott touches him and feels the pain draining even without trying. But Stiles scrambles back. His hand is bleeding heavily and his feet are bleeding too now from stepping on the cracked pieces of mirror.
"NO! JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
"Stiles…We are going to help you ok? Please let us help you"
Stiles grabs a broken piece of the mirror off the counter and hold it to his neck. When they try to approach him he presses it tighter until there's a cut and he's bleeding. "NO! Stay back! I can't be helped. You have to stay away or I am going to have to kill myself to save you."
Scott realizes that he is thinking about what the nogitsune had said. That Stiles had to kill himself if he wanted to save his friends and family. He is not in the here and now.
"Stiles the nogitsune is gone now. You don't have to do this."
"A-Allison,….Aiden, it's my fault they are dead. They're dead because of me"
"No Stiles it was because of the nogitsune. The nogitsune is the one to be 's the one responsible"
"But I let it in"
"Stiles, I know it was not your fault. The nogitsune is a trickster and it manipulated you. None of the stuff it has done is your fault. I believe that and so should you because it's the truth."
He tries to reason with him by reiterating about what had actually happened and that they were safe now and after a few minutes Stiles lets him take the shard of mirror from his hand.
Noah bandages Stile's bleeding hand, feet and his neck. He tries to comfort Stiles who is crying silently and trying to hide his face with his shoulder.
"Stiles I promise, I will make sure that foul creature can never return. Even if I have to read those chinese folk tales to try and find a way to put an end to it."
"Dad, it's Japanese."
"Oh Stiles, see I am clueless without your help. You are going to be fine and I will make sure of it. I am willing to do anything. Whatever it takes. I promise it will get better."
And together they help him out. He seems calmer now after letting out all those pent-up emotions. Scott knows there is a very long way to recovery for Stiles and he is determined to walk along with him and help him through it. No matter what it takes.