In my nothing, you were everything...
She was sure the rivers still flowed, the mountains still stood majestic, oceans still rocked to the open shores, but something was different. She imagined the sky had turned red, blood raining down upon the wide open earth. Or, maybe space and time imploded on itself and life had just ceased to exist. She didn't know but in the shadow of her solace, in the darkness that enveloped the room that found its way to soak inside and through her, she knew, in the depths of her being, that the world was no more.
She lay collapsed on the bed, naked, quietly sobbing, writhing in and over ebony blood. Reveling in the wetness, in the force it once was, in the life it once gave, she twisted and turned, pores on her skin seeping up the essence. The blonde cried softly as she rolled her body in the sheets and blankets. Her tear soaked face drenched the covers over the bed, as blood began staining her face. It was ok though. That's what she wanted. She wanted to soak her up into her skin, wanted her inside her. The blonde could feel Lexa in her veins, tiny electrons sending small shock waves throughout her body. A warm current washed over her, heating her up inside. It was comforting and soothed her. Clarke closed her eyes, she knew her touch, she knew her energy.
It was her. It was Lexa.
"Lexa…."
She smiled warmly, eyes closed, as she saw green eyes and brown hair, not of the Commander, but of the girl underneath the armor, the girl hidden behind the camouflage and war paint, the girl who bared her herself completely to her. Lexa. It had taken awhile to meet her. She had slowly gotten to know the Commander, with Lexa peering out more and more often as time went by. She had been intrigued by the Commander, fell into an attraction, even developed feelings for the leader, but when the Commander let Clarke see past the persona, the facade, and became Lexa to her, the blonde fell completely, utterly, and hopelessly in love with her. And she had finally found the one thing she didn't know she needed. And suddenly impending wars, rogue leaders, backstabbing, betrayals, even menacing paunas didn't matter anymore. She was happy, they were happy, and in a matter of moments, everything went to black. Literally.
Black. Black blood. Clarke gasped loudly as she was shaken from her thoughts. Flashes of black painted her eyes. She had fallen into a peaceful reverie, almost half asleep, half awake. Now jolted from her daze, she wiped her tear bruised eyes, disoriented for terrifying moments, until the dawning hit her full force, knocking the air out of her. Her body began to tremble, her eyes welled up, her throat in pain as she struggled to hold it in. But she couldn't. And Clarke wailed. She howled. It wasn't the soft, tender cries that she allowed herself. No, it was raw pain. And she bawled until she couldn't. Clarke grabbed a blood drenched sheet and wrapped herself tightly in it. The blonde eased herself to the floor. Her legs about to give out, her body close to total collapse. She could feel her temples pulsating hot. She could feel the pressure, violent waves of crushing force, that felt like it would burst out of her head, completely shattering her skull. But still, in the midst of her madness, she needed more, more of her.
Clarke grabbed a part of the sheet, placing it over her nose and mouth, inhaling softly. She wanted to breathe Lexa in. And again, she felt the brunette enter her. On an immediate high, her head was swimming with thoughts of she and her. Clarke laughed, as her own personal drug took effect. Thoughts of her and she, filled her mind, filtered through to her heart, and she was delirious. Happy, content in her delirium, she laughed. And she smiled and took the sheet in her arms, laying herself on the cold floor. She could feel her there with her. She wrapped her arms even tighter around the sheet, arms encircling an invisible form. And as she lay there, her laughter subsided, her smile turned serene, and slowly, she fell into a gentle sleep.
Clarke didn't want to leave the tower. There was nothing left for her, nothing she wanted anymore. It had all been taken away. She wanted to stay in the room. She was safe there, safe from the outside world, safe from the truth. There she could be, they could be. There Lexa was alive and there, in the shadows, in the darkness, where nothing mattered and no one else existed, they could be together.
Together again.