The Awakening
A Brian and Justin Fan Fiction
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters nor do i presume to do so. They are owned by Showtime and by the writers and producers of Queer As Folk. I will have a beta for this story starting in probably the 6th or 7th chapters. I know the chapters are short. I did that so that way I can have more chapters so content wise it will be the same as if I had longer chapters.
Warning: This story contains some material that may be unsuitable for younger viewers. Contains knowledge of rape, intense sequences of both violence and sex.
Ch 1: Wounds for the Wounded
A week ago, in an alley outside of Babylon, I got a taste of how cruel the world really is. I never had any problems with the people at Babylon before. It was always fun whether I was with Brian or by myself. All of those hot bodies dancing up against each other to a rhythm. It was my favorite place to be besides in the arms of Brian, whom I loved with all of my heart and still do love. Emotions are hard for me to feel but the one that is the most prevalent is fear with anger coming in at a close second.
I hadn't been considered 'innocent' in a while, but if I still was, that night was when my innocence would have been taken away. I can still remember the touches of their hands. Not soft and sensual like being touched by Brian, but rough and callous. I blocked out the actual incident and the doctors said it may or may never come back. They said I had post traumatic stress disorder yet I didn't even remember the attack nor the identities of my attackers. Just the feel of their hands. The only proof I have that the attack occurred are my bruises, my black eye which is somewhat returning to its natural color, and then my torn asshole. That one was the worst. I'm glad I don't remember the actual pain because I'm sure I wouldn't be able to stand to relive that over and over again. The bruises will fade as will the black eye and my asshole will return to normal. But the scars on the inside, emotional scars, will never go away. I asked another victim of rape, Chester, whether or not the emotions ever lessen. He told me that they will with time but it is still very painful. His attack was three years ago.
He couldn't remember his attack nor his attackers just like me. At least I wasn't alone even though it felt like I was completely so. The physical therapist told me I should keep a journal, one which would help me explore my deepest emotions regarding the attack or just any of my day to day emotions so that I can track my recovery. Which is what I am writing to you right now. Whether or not anyone reads it besides myself, I want to share my story.
Let's go back to the night I was brought into the hospital. I would go back even further if I could remember. It is so frustrating that I can't remember. But I'm sure if I did I would wish I couldn't. Well, I know that Brian is the one who found me. He seems to always be the one to find me when I'm in trouble. I don't remember him being there at all but he told me he was. I was coming in and out of consciousness and I remember being poked and prodded by the doctors as if I was some kind of experiment. In a way, I was. To those guys, anyways. I drifted in and out of sleep while they were doing tests. I hate hospitals so I'm glad I drifted out of sleep. Before I closed my eyes, well technically my eye since the other one was so black it was closed on its own, I remember seeing Brian standing outside of the hospital room looking in at me. I'll never forget the pure, unadulterated fear in his eyes.