Warning: OOcness, swearing, hints of NetCan (because I can)

Disclaimer:I do not own Hetalia

Brothers were nice, even if they didn't always remember you. They looked after you, and were good company when there was no one else. They stuck by you for thick and thin, no matter what. They would never betray you.

"Hey Earth to Mattie. Come in Mattie. Are you even listening to me?...MATTIE!"

Canada, known to his brother as Mattie, shook himself out of his daze. "What? Sorry Al, I was spacing out."

His brother leaned back in his seat and pouted. "You always do that when I start speaking. You should pay more attention."

Matthew wanted to point out that he did the same thing when he started speaking and then ignored him for a month to boot. But just as he began to voice these thoughts Alfred launched into a long spiel about video games and Tony and Area 51, rendering Canada to silence once more.

Two hours later, the superpower decided it was finally time to go. He called out a farewell and ran out the door, slamming it shut.

Canada winced and hoped that the wall didn't chip-again. It always looked so ugly when it did and was really time consuming to fix.

After deciding to worry about it later, he got up from his kitchen table, leaving the dirty dishes, and went upstairs to get his badge. It might have been a weekend but he still had some paperwork to catch up on. As he walked to his study he thought about how happy he was that Alfred came over... even if he had eaten all his food. He smiled and reached into the drawer.

He froze.

The hand in the drawer started scrambling around frantically, patting every inch of the bottom trying to find the laminated square. After a few moments the drawer was tugged out and turned upside down. Nothing fell out.

That was when the country began to freak out. He needed that badge to get into the building. Especially at this time of the day when no one but the janitors would be there.

Where was it? Normally it was in the drawer, he never put it anywhere else. He even told Alfred about it so he wouldn't accidentally mo- Alfred. Matthew flashed back to his brother's visit. Just as he had finished cooking pancakes for the two of them, the phone started ringing in the living room. When he answered there was no one there.

He left his brother alone for two damn minutes and what did he do? He stole his badge!

"Alfred you fucking hoser"

.oOo.

"Wait... let me get this straight. Someone stole your badge and you believe they used it to sneak into Parliament to steal sensitive information?"

The Canadian's smile was strained, he was usually quite patient but now simply wasn't the time "Yes Gerald. I believe I explained this already didn't I? Now gather up your men and get your asses down to Parliament."

"Y-yes sir Mister Canada sir"

After Canada hung up on the head of the Canadian Security Intelligence Service he slumped down and let his face rest on the desk. He groaned, he thought this little game had stopped in the 90s. But no, Alfred had to go and decide to bring back "the good old times". God he needed a drink.

The phone rang again. It had better not be Gerald. He picked it up "WHAT!"

"Hockey season already?" A dry voice remarked. He felt a blush coming on.

"No, it's just Alfred being an idiot again"

"I take it we're not going out for drinks tonight?"

"Oh I'm sorry was that today? I can't Lars, he did something really stupid and now I have to stop him. Tomorrow maybe?"

"I understand, I have siblings too you know. Tomorrow it is then."

"Thanks,you're the best"

"I know. Bye"

"Goodbye"

After Netherlands hung up the phone he glanced at the tulips clutched in his hand. Alfred was so dead.

.oOo.

"Jesus, what is it this time! I had to leave my little girl's birthday party for this. It'd better be important."

"I think it is Marshal. He was yelling at me over the phone. Yelling at me."

"...is that even possible?"

"Yes...yes it is"

The CSIS agents stopped talking as their nation approached them.

"Listen up men. We have a threat to national security on our hands. My brother, Alfred F. Jones (otherwise known as America), is attempting to steal vital information from under our noses. If I'm right, he may have already succeeded. Now let's get in there and bag his ass!"

He stopped for a moment and surveyed them with a maniacal gleam in his eye . The black suited men squirmed uncomfortably. " Don't be afraid to shoot" The agents shivered in fear.

.oOo.

They arrived in the nick of time. Just as the men prepared to kick down the door and storm in, Alfred strolled out whistling, holding a file clear for all to see.

He stopped when he saw just what he had walked into.

He wore a confused expression for a few moments, until he spotted Canada glaring at him. Then it morphed into a pout.

"Mattie, I can't believe you involved your police! That's cheating!"

That whining tone was beginning to get on the Nation's nerves "This isn't my police hoser, this is my secret service!"

"huh" America looked over the men with a critical eye "You changed your uniforms. What happened to those red ones? I liked them. Very cowboy esque"

The sound of Matthew's gnashing teeth was now audible "You're thinking of my Mounties there's a difference"

A frown grew on Alfred's face. Alright, something was up. "What's wrong? I mean, just because you lost doesn't mean you have to act like such an ass hole"

" You didn't even tell me we were playing again Alfred that's 'what's wrong'. (And you didn't win, I caught you)"

"Dude what's your problem? It's not like I took anything important. (Of course I won Mattie, the rules were that if one was successfully able to steal a document from their opponent they win)"

"I don't like you going through my stuff! (And the rules clearly stated that to win one had to successfully steal the document and make it over the border. Therefore you lose)"

"Well you didn't have a problem with it back in the 80's. Hey! Remember that one time you were able to sneak into the White House by seducing one of the gu-"

"YESIREMEMBER! And that's because there was actually a point to the game back in the 80's. It was practice."

"But that's exactly why I'm doing this! I need practice, what with Afghanistan and everything."

Canada tried, he really did, to hold onto the spark of anger he had been running on for the past half hour, but he just couldn't. It was a miracle in itself that he was able to keep it for as long as he had. "Fine, whatever. Just, next time tell me beforehand."

"Aw, but that takes all the fun out of it." He paused for a second "What do you mean we have to make it over the border! I don't remember that part!"

Canada rolled his eyes "That's because you have selective memory loss. You don't even remember the burning of York."

"The what?"

"My point exactly...what file did you take anyway?"

"Uh..." He looked at the file label "Netherlands-Canadian foreign relations. Why do you even have a file on this anyway? Isn't all the official stuff on your computer?"

Matthew's ears turned pink. Gerald chose this time to approach his country "Uh...sir? Not that I'm not glad the problem is solved, but... since we aren't doing anything, can we go home now?"

Canada looked at the chief of the CSIS. "Oh sure, sorry to call you guys out for noth-oh shit Alfred don't open that!"

The Canadian ran away to the sounds of his brother cussing and shouting about the castration of a certain Hollander.

What is this? I don't even...